She thought about confronting Peebee about the whole Gil situation, but decided not to give her the satisfaction. She refocused her efforts on hunting the Archon, as they discovered the Salarian ark tethered to it.
She brought Jaal and Drack on the mission, the two of them becoming her team of choice lately. As much as Jaal's presence tortured her, she needed his insight and expertise. Drack was a steadying force, and his brute strength was unmatched among the crew. She knew infiltrating the Archon ship would be a tough fight.
After the mission with the successful acquisition of the relic and rescuing the Salarian ark, Ryder was back on the Tempest, in medbay with Dr. T'Perro grilling her about the dangers of an AI having access to her base physiology.
"How could you allow him to kill you?" she demanded.
Ryder tried to laugh it off, but Dr. T'Perro wasn't having any of it. She brought up her omni-tool, "We need to go to the Nexus and change those settings in Sam node immediately."
"Whoa, whoa, just a minute doctor. Sam didn't do it without my permission-" Ryder started.
She snapped her head up, "And what if next time he doesn't wait for your permission!"
"Doctor!" Ryder became serious, "It was a plan, I gave him the go-ahead, with the stipulation that he would re-animate me, which he did, successfully. I didn't make the decision lightly, there was no other choice. If he hadn't done it, I'd be strung up and tortured like the Moshae had been, and Jaal and Drack would be dead, or worse."
Lexi walked off and paced as Sam talked to her to explain his position. Lexi relented, but insisted on a thorough examination before she would release Ryder. She looked particularly at the puncture wound on the base of her skull. "Cerbro-spinal fluid. He can get your DNA and other information about you, but the biotransmitter was successfully deactivated by Sam." She turned off her scanner. "I don't think you'll have any other lasting effects, just some soreness at the site for a day or so." Ryder nodded in relief, and finally let go, she left medbay and headed towards the showers. Enough time had elapsed for Drack to go. They had unofficially agreed to let him start showering first after the door incident.
She was halfway down the walkway when the doors wooshed open and Jaal came out, wet, with a towel around his waist. He breezed past Ryder, who glanced up at him for only a second, when Peebee's voice caught her attention. She was standing in the doorway of the shower, dripping wet with a towel loosely held up to her front.
"Hey, it's not- " Peebee caught sight of Ryder, now in eyesight. She waved behind her in Jaal's direction, "Later Jaal!" and cocked her head to the side, giving Ryder a satisfied smile. Ryder felt her blood pressure soar, and her face tingle with anger. She turned her head and walked directly forward into her quarters. The door closed behind her and she froze, her eyes shut tightly, attempting to erase the scene she'd just witnessed. She let out a loud yell and slammed her hand against the wall.
"Fuck!" she hit it a few more times, then flopped down on her bed, sitting with her head forward in her hands. This is what she had feared since Jaal had dumped her on Evfra's insistence. He turned his affections to someone else, and of all the crew, Peebee?
"Dammit, she's been after him since he came on board." It pissed her off, Peebee couldn't ever be honest with her even if she tried. "I should have never let that Asari slut on board." She slammed her fists down on the bed. She felt tears start to fall, and she sat and quietly cried. No matter what Peebee did or didn't do, it was Jaal who was in control of who he wanted to be, and he obviously didn't want to be with her.
"All that talk about Evfra, he probably made it up as an excuse to dump me." She thought about that for a while. To be honest, Angarans were still largely a mystery to her, maybe they went in and out of relationships more quickly. "Fuck, I don't know." She wiped her eyes.
The next day she went to Aya to discuss progress with the Moshae. She had largely avoided her crew, but now that they were there on shore leave, they were approaching her about her death on the flagship.
"Pretty crazy stuff, Ryder. You feeling ok?" Liam looked at her with concern.
"Yeah, I'm fine."
"Didn't have a chance to talk to you last night, you were holed up in your room." Cora said.
"I know." Ryder forced a smile.
Cora gave Liam a look, and he said, "I ..think I'll go over the bar, have a drink with Drack."
Cora turned her attention back to Ryder, lightly touching her arm, "I can tell you're still upset about what happened on the flagship."
Ryder shook her head no, "Actually, I got over that pretty quickly, it's not that. I –" she looked around, there were a lot of people around them.
Cora nodded, "We can talk more when we get back to the Tempest."
"Yeah, sounds good." She put her hand on her shoulder and gave it a light squeeze.
"You want to have a drink with us? They make great smoothies." Cora pointed to the bar where Liam and Drack were drinking.
"No thanks, I've got some shopping to do at the market." She walked away, appreciating how much her crew had become close and was touched by their concern for her.
She walked towards the market and mentally went over the list of snacks and mods she wanted to get. As she approached, she caught a glimpse of Peebee walking through the vendors and groaned inwardly. She then saw Jaal next to her. Slowing her pace, she watched as they talked together for a moment, Peebee laughing, then they walked away towards the outer walkway. She narrowed her eyes at them, irritated, then gasped as she saw that as they walked, he held his arm out for Peebee to entwine her arm and hand over it. Ryder felt sick, then faint as she stared open-mouthed. She felt a bump from behind, as she had stopped suddenly, from an Angaran who proceeded to apologize profusely to her. She snapped to her senses, "No, entirely my fault, I'm sorry," she replied and walked rapidly back to the Tavataan. She looked around in a panic, unable to process what she'd just seen, and not knowing what to do. She went to the bar next to Cora, unable to speak.
"Hey, got everything you needed?" Cora asked her, then saw the look on her face. "Are you okay?"
Ryder leaned her elbow on the bar, head down, "No, not at all." She brought up her omni-tool, "If I give you the list, can you get the things I need?"
"Yeah, sure, no problem." Cora turned towards her so she was hidden from the others.
Ryder's fingers flew as she typed it up and sent it. "There." She looked up at Cora, "Thanks, I appreciate your help."
Cora's brows furrowed, "Of course, we'll take care of it. Liam? Can you come with me to the markets?"
"Sure," he joined them.
Ryder forced a smile, "Ok, thanks," she walked briskly away and back to the Tempest.
"What's the problem?" Liam asked Cora as they walked towards the Markets.
"Don't know, but can't talk about it-"
He nodded, "I know, I know, the life of a Pathfinder's second." He grinned at her.
Ryder had started hoping Peebee had been teasing her when she called out to Jaal from the shower. She'd lied about other things before and seemed to enjoy making her suffer. Today she could no longer pretend it was not reciprocated by Jaal. They were arm in arm on Aya, for everyone to see.
Back on the Tempest, she stayed in her room, going over reports and working on her computer. She was making progress towards full viability on Elaaden. The final push towards Meridian was close, she knew it. Drowning her sorrow in work was her new way to cope. After a quick meal on a mostly empty ship, she went back to her quarters again to continue to work. Finally at a stopping point, she sat on her couch, mindlessly looking out on the expanse of space while listening to her music. A sudden ping at the door made her jump slightly. "Enter."
Cora came in holding up a bag, "Snacks from Aya. You game?"
"Sounds great," she motioned to the chair across from her.
Cora took a handful then handed her the bag. "So, what's going on?"
Ryder smiled, she liked how forthright she was, yet knew when to back off.
"Ugghhh," Ryder rubbed her face in her hands, then looked down at the floor.
"Let me guess, Jaal?"
She nodded.
"What's he doing now? I know he was pretty freaked out watching you die in front of him. He kept talking about it."
"Really? He didn't seem that way to me." Ryder leaned back on her couch and looked out into the swirl of stars out her window. "Actually, he didn't say much to me about it at all."
"Yeah, Liam said he was really shook up, very emotional."
"The only emotions I see are the ones he saves for Peebee."
"Peebee?" Cora looked confused.
"Yup. They shared a shower yesterday," Ryder started,
Cora's eyes widened.
"-and I saw them today in the Markets laughing and talking, walking arm in arm."
Cora looked down and shook her head, "Oh, no."
Ryder tightened her lips, "Yup. Pretty much that's it. So he dumped me, saying it was because of Evfra and you know, diplomatic relations, whatever the shit, and now he's all over Peebee walking through Aya like it's the fucking Easter parade."
"Damn, Ryder, I'm so sorry. That sucks."
She nodded. "I just wish I hadn't fallen so hard for him, I mean, I'm the Pathfinder. I have a job to do, we all do, and I wish I could just focus on that."
"You are though, you aren't acting distracted or unfocused on the missions or with your decisions at all. And I would be honest with you if I thought you were."
"Well, I'm glad to hear you say that. I suppose then, the result is I'm just super unhappy doing it. And dammit, anyone but Peebee. Seriously! Why her! Ugh!"
"I agree."
Ryder got up and started pacing, "It kills me, you know, it's like she loves flaunting it in my face, like 'ha ha, look at me, I won.' Fucking bitch."
"She sure is."
"I thought, I thought I knew him, you know? I really did." She put her face in her hands and started to cry.
Cora looked down and frowned. "She probably went after him pretty hard. He'll find out what she's really like and wizen up."
"Maybe, and maybe not. You know, she told me she would never troll on somebody's crush, and I believed her."
Cora couldn't help but smile, thinking how they all sounded like middle school girls. "She's a cunt, don't worry about her. And you know what, if that's what he really wants, then he's not the guy for you anyway."
Ryder wiped the tears from her eyes, "But I really felt like he was. He wrote me a love letter in an email, then deleted it out."
Cora let out a low breath, "That's really bad." She got up and sat next to her, giving her a hug. "Come on, let's eat ourselves silly with these snacks, drink and watch a vid. I've got some good ones I got last time Liam and I were on the Nexus."
"Yeah, sounds like a good idea." She took a deep breath and attempted a smile. "Thanks."
Cora jumped up and looked through her cabinet, pulling out a few bottles and two glasses. She got a vid started and they turned her couch around so they could see it better. Ryder relaxed, grateful for the distraction. She drank and laughed with Cora at the vid. It was an old one, but it was funny, and helped her forget herself for a little while.
Cora's omni-tool lit up and she typed a message back, shutting it off.
"Everything ok?" Ryder asked her, suddenly realizing she'd been talking all about herself that night.
Cora smiled, "Oh yeah, just letting Liam know when the movie will be over."
Ryder turned to face her, "What's this, is there something between you two?"
She nodded, "Well, yeah, sort-of."
She had Ryder's full attention, "Really? I had no idea you were into him. Since when?"
"Well, he just kind of grew on me, you know? I know he liked you at first, and when you weren't interested, we were already friends, and we started spending more time together, and it just sort of happened from that." She looked sheepish. "but it's more of just blowing off steam, being lonely on the ship, not anything serious."
Ryder nodded slowly, "Uh-huh."
"Yeah," Cora said defensively.
"Okay, so let me ask you this, are you spending nights together?"
She nodded yes.
"And are you spending most of your spare time off duty together, like eating together, going out on shore leave together?"
"Well, yeah."
"Are either of you with anybody else?"
"No."
"Is it a secret?"
"No. I just didn't say anything to you before because I knew you were going through so much with Jaal."
"Thank you for your sensitivity, and you're in a relationship." Ryder sat back and popped a snack in her mouth.
"No I'm not."
"I'm not saying anything bad. Why wouldn't you go for something serious?"
"He's not like my first choice, he can be pretty annoying, you know? And, I don't know. He's not the type I ever saw myself with long-term. He's kind of young, too. Impulsive." Cora ran her fingers through her short blonde hair.
"Sounds like he's a good compliment to you, like you guys bring out the best in each other. You were drawn together for a reason. I saw how much your face lit up when you got that message on your omni-tool." Ryder pointed at her, "And you can be pretty annoying yourself too, you know."
Cora looked shocked, "That's not true."
"Oh yes it is, I swear, if I had a credit for every time you uttered the phrase 'Asari huntress,' I could retire."
Cora opened her mouth in shock and protest, but could only say, "I don't talk about it that much!"
"Well, not any more, now it's all about Liam." Ryder grinned at her.
"That's it, I'm taking my snacks back." Cora grabbed for the bag.
Ryder let her take it, "Go ahead, it's all gone."
Cora peered down into it, "Oh shit, you really did."
Seeing her expression she asked, "Why, is that a problem?"
Cora looked up with a worried look, "Um, it can give you stomach upset if you eat that much. It's Angaran snacks, after all."
Ryder sighed, "Oh great. Why didn't you say something?"
"I didn't know you were going to eat that much. You'd better see Dr. T'Perro."
"Are you serious?"
Cora nodded, "With your food allergies, you'd better."
Ryder grunted as she got up off the couch, "Okay, I'll go over to medbay." She looked at her watch, it was late, but Lexi should still be up.
"Sorry about that Ryder,"
She laughed, "Don't worry about it. I enjoyed it. Thanks for coming over and helping me feel better. And – I'm happy for you and Liam." They walked towards the door and out to the walkway. As Cora reached up for the ladder, Ryder asked her, "Just one question, do you sit on his couch?"
Cora scrunched up her face, "That filthy thing? No way. He's pretty much moved into my quarters."
Ryder chuckled and headed over to medbay. The doors opened, and as she thought, she found Dr. T'Perro hunched over her computer. "Ryder, what can I do for you?" she looked up at her bleary-eyed.
"I ate nearly a whole bag of Angaran snacks Cora brought, and she said I should come see you so I don't spend the entire day tomorrow in the latrine."
"I see. Well, are those the same snacks Jaal brought us last week?"
"Yes."
Dr. T'Perro pursed her lips, "Oh, that will be a problem, especially for you. I have something I think will take care of that." She pulled a drawer out, then another, "Yes, here it is." She took Ryder's arm and pulled her sleeve up, giving her a shot. "That will do it. If you have any GI upset in the morning, come back and I'll give you another one." She went back to her computer.
"Thanks, Lexi." She pulled her sleeve back down and jumped off the table. "I didn't see you out on Aya today."
"No, too much work to be done."
Ryder eyed her critically, "Maybe you should take my advice about Drack."
Dr. T'Perro stood up suddenly from her desk, "I did. Actually."
"Oh, good." Ryder said.
"No, not good actually." Lexi crossed her arms, "I told him how I felt, that I wanted to be with him. He accused me of making fun of him at first, then when I convinced him I was sincere, he laughed, then got serious and told me I was way off base. He's hardly said two words to me since."
"Oh no, I'm so sorry. I didn't think he would react like that." Ryder could see the pain in her face.
"It was one of the worst events in my life. I wish I'd never said anything at all. I should have gone with my instincts and not said anything."
"Fuck, Lexi, I can't apologize enough," Ryder shook her head.
"Oh, I don't blame you, I'm the one who decided to say something, and what to say. I suppose," she laughed bitterly, "I had delusions that he felt that way about me too, maybe just enough for something to grow from it. Unfortunately, I was wrong."
Ryder leaned against the med table, "What exactly did he say?" she held her hand out, "Unless you don't want to talk about it."
"No, it's okay, you're the only one who knows anything about it. He said he was too old, and I was just infatuated with him, interested in him as an old relic I could study. When I told him that wasn't true, he said he would never," she started to choke up and took a moment to breathe deep and collect herself. "He said he would never be with an Asari." She looked down.
"Lexi, I'm so sorry." Ryder couldn't believe Drack could be so harsh.
"I started to cry, unfortunately, I had held it together until then, and he stormed out. It was horrendous."
"When did that happen?"
"Last week."
"Oh Lexi." She reached out and gave her a hug. "Men suck." She could feel her crying turn to chuckling.
"Yes, I agree." She wiped her eyes, "Things haven't been too good for you and Jaal, then?"
Ryder shook her head no. "Pretty shitty."
"I'm sorry." She cocked her head to the side, "we'll just have to pour ourselves into our work, I suppose."
"Already there, Lexi."
Lexi nodded, and bid Ryder good night as she left.