"Alright. Give me the run down."

"Run down?" he repeated incredulously.

"You know, tell me what's been happening in Kirkwall. Bring me up to speed so I know what we're going to be facing." I poked the fire with a long cast-iron rod from the floor of his study, looking up to stare at Hawke in his armchair, making quite the striking picture. He had his head resting on top of his fist, the fire casting shadows over his broad body. It outlined the muscles pushing against the confides of his shirt and his golden eyes seemed to reflect the light like a cat.

He looked down at me, blinking before a look of understanding entered his eyes right before they started to smolder. In the firelight, it was almost too much. "Oh, going to tell me my future again? One would think you've become fixated on me. Not that I mind," he waggles his dark brows.

I rolled my eyes, cheeks flushing despite myself. "You are simply an important person to Thedas's history," I mutter, looking away. It didn't help that I'd always preferred Garrett to Marian—honestly, the men you romance as a woman in this timeline couldn't hold a candle to Alistair.. Or Garrett. It also didn't help that Garrett had a smoother voice than I remembered. It had me flushing with barely a handful of words and those glowing golden eyes...

Yep. I could tell by the look on Hawke's face that he knew for a fact I was fixated on him. Damn him.

He smirked at me, triumphant, until a thought occurred to him. "Important? No... Don't tell me, I'm going to single-handedly save the city?" he deadpanned, the amusement emptying itself from his eyes.

"Not necessarily single-handed... Unless you want to. The first time."

He groaned. "The first time? All I want is to enjoy the high-life. Spend my days in my manor, nights in a shitty bar with shitty drinks that are piss-cheap and play old maid. Why do I have to clean up everyone's messes?"

I grinned up at him, my eyes crinkling at the edges with poorly placed glee. "Because you are you and you can't leave well enough alone."

"Don't you smile at me. I can't have it doing weird things to my heart when I'm trying to despair over my painful future."

His command had the opposite effect, only making my smile larger. "I can't seem to stop it. Shall I turn away then?" I was picking myself off the ground and turning on my heels without waiting for a response, prepared to wait until his overdramatics ended. My eyes fell on the snacks Bodahn had left out for us. There were cute little sandwiches that I had no idea he could make—maybe Sandal?— that I wanted to try. I only got a few steps away until large hands rested on my shoulders, easily spinning me around to face him before he rested a single hand on my cheek. The look in his eyes struck me to my core, the humor that had resided there disappeared and in it's wake was a seriousness I didn't often see on his face.

"Don't.. turn away from me." It sounded almost like he was pleading with me, as if he was afraid I would leave him. "Please," he whispered softly, his tone heartbreaking.

Things clicked then. I had only seen his mother in this manor, with her stuck up attitude that had Hawke sighing every time they came into contact. No Bethany to lighten the mood with her brightness. No Carver to contend with in that weird brotherly way. No Marian.. I hadn't seen his siblings once. He'd lost not only his brother.. But them, too.

I slowly nodded my head but knew I couldn't promise him what he truly needed. I hadn't lasted in Ferelden for longer than a year. I didn't know how long my time would last here.

"I can't promise to be with you forever. But.. I can promise you that I will stay with you for however long I can."

He gave me a tortured smile and suddenly I couldn't take it any longer. I snaked my arms around his waist, clinging to him tightly as my throat constricted with emotion.

"Thank you," he mumbled into my hair as his arms wrapped around me. He was shaking just slightly and I tried my hardest to be still for him to draw strength from. It didn't help that I barely reached his collar bone with the tip of my nose. From inside the circle of his arms I felt the safety I had felt in Alistair's and while it pained me to think of him—was I truly betraying him? When he had probably already moved on?— I knew I wasn't willing to pull myself from these arms. Hawke.. Garrett needed me in a way Alistair never had. A poor justification, maybe, but it helped me to move on, too.

There were no other words spoken—or needed. I knew what he needed. At least better than Isabela.

It was in that position, the two of us wrapped around the other, that his mother found us in. She made a loud gasping noise at the door, obviously disgusted by the sight. When Garrett didn't immediately distance himself from me, it turned into a mixture of gag and groan.

"Mother," Garrett ground out from above my head. I could feel his annoyance through the tension of his body and the movement of magic through the veil as he gave a pull on it.

From the sounds of it, Leandra had probably never seen Garrett show affection to anyone outside of his family.

"Release my son at once, harlot!" she cried behind me.

My face was firmly pressed under Garrett's chin. I couldn't remove myself.. Even if I wanted to.

"Mother," Garrett repeated, his voice becoming low and threatening.

"That girl will ruin you, Garrett! Everyone was talking about her at the last gala—that you refused to attend if you recall. I know all about how she's destroying her only remaining family"

His grip on me tightened. "Do not speak about what you do not understand, Mother."

"The Amells are barely returning to society and I will not have you whoring around with her in broad daylight—in my home!"

Magic ripped through the air, slamming the door on Leandra and her accusations. I could hear her huff at the closed door before she turned and stomped her way to her room. The footsteps fading into the background, all that was left in the study was the sound of fire cracking the wood and our breathing, his a bit harder than mine.

It only makes sense that my uncle would go through those channels to discredit me, to ensure my defeat on all fronts. The martyr side of me wanted to leave so that I wouldn't cause Garrett any other problems, but I knew he would never let me.

"You just promised me, but you're already thinking about leaving. Aren't you?"

His voice startled me, so deep and demanding. It rumbled in his chest, right were my ear was.

I slowly nodded against the broad muscles of his chest, feeling his arms tighten more so. "Of course I quickly rejected that idea. You wouldn't want me to be a martyr. Or rather, you wouldn't let me." I knew him well enough to realize that.

"The hell I would," he agreed.

"..at the very least, I should probably find somewhere else to stay."

"No."

"Your mother has to be thinking up ways to get rid of me."

"Yep."

"So I shouldn't stay here."

"Nope."

"Garrett!" I groaned.

He hummed happily, nuzzling my hair. Obviously he wasn't going to let his mother dampen his mood. "It sounds nice when you say my name."

That was probably the first I'd actually used it, come to think of it. "I bet you think that of everyone, though. Since they all call you 'Hawke'."

"Nah."

"You're difficult."

"And you're beautiful."

I was so glad he couldn't see my face. It had already been red before, but I'm sure I was darker than a tomato now.

"Oh? No response? Have I officially won?"

"No!" I sputtered, using the momentary distraction to separate myself from him, ignoring his laughter. "Would you answer the question I asked before we got emotional and your mother attacked?"

He rolled his eyes, plopping himself down on his large armchair as he sent me a look that clearly said I kill his fun. "If we must," he sighed, reaching up to squeeze the bridge of his nose. "What do you want me to start with?"

"Just tell me everything you've been through since I last saw you."

"This is going to take ages."

"Only if you stall."

.

Carver lost to the Grey Wardens. (That was going to be a mess.) Bethany lost to the Circle. (So was that.) Marian lost to Ferelden. (She had refused to 'desert' when I'd told Garrett to get his family to Kirkwall a life ago.)

It seemed that even if I tried to change things, to give them a better fighting chance, life was determined to make Garrett lead a painful life. Now, all he had left was a stupid mother that would get herself killed if we didn't do something. But, with the way things went for his siblings, it's possible that she's just destined to die just like I am. It wasn't going to make it any more easier—not on me, or Garrett.

Other than that, the expedition to the Deep Roads were done and over (thank heavens, I didn't want to see another dark spawn if its the last thing I did), he'd managed to rope together all his companions and take back his family manor since I'd last met him in Ostegar. He'd made good time, all-in-all.

I tried to think of the coming challenges he would face, see if I could come up with the necessary strategies to ensure we always came out on top. Origins was easier compared to this, felt more structured. Probably why the second game got so many mixed reviews. The retelling of Hawke's life is messy, filled with crazy mages and insane templars and red lyrium.

I shuddered. Red lyrium.

Garrett eyed me worriedly as we made our way to Lowtown, his gaze pausing as he took in my new robes that we'd just gotten me in Hightown."What's wrong?"

"Just thinking about how much I hate red lyrium."

The very thought of it had him shuddering as well, shaking his head as if to rid him of it. "Ugh, tell me about it. Are you telling me there will be more of it?"
"In a few years."

"Oh, wonderful," was the sarcastic response. I nodded, returning to my thoughts as I absentmindedly smoothed my fingers over the fine stitching.

First things first—we needed to deal with the man responsible for the disappearances of women. Quentin, I believe. If I remember correctly, he had ties to the First Enchanter of the Circle. Then we would need to deal with the Qunari before things got out of hand. And then the issue with Meredith's red lyrium sword and Anders' little friend, Justice... Not to mention my personal character arc but that could be put on the back burner. I wasn't in any mood to deal with it currently.

"We have our work cut out for us," I grumbled as Garrett pulled open the door to the Hanged Man.

"That's why we're grabbing backup." He waited for a moment, holding the door open for me.

"I'll wait out here," I responded lightly, not in the mood to watch Isabela stare me down for 'stealing' her man. The confrontation was coming and I didn't particularly care to hasten it along.

Garrett frowned as he looked between me and the open doorway, torn. Already, I could smell the stench of the place that no doubt gave it 'character'.

"Lily." His tone was placating, his expression pleading. The way his eyes cast about Lowtown told me he was feeling paranoid about any men that might have been sent by my uncle. It made me feel cautious as well, pouting just a bit as I dipped below the arm propping the door open.

"Fine," I sighed.

The pleased beam he lobbed my way did messy things with my heart.

Messy things that disappeared soon as we climbed the stairs to Varric's table and my eyes promptly locked with Isabela's.

That was not a pretty face.

The ugly look quickly brightened, however, when her eyes found Garrett.

"What's this, Hawke?" Varric asked from the head of his table, surrounded by papers. "Does our lady have another quest for her valiant knights?"

"Something like that," he replied vaguely with a cheeky grinned. Maybe he liked the thought of being my knight? I rolled my eyes with a soft smile. He would.

I blinked as I was suddenly shoved aside—I was standing in front of Garrett, after all—sucking in a gasp of air as my shoulder slammed into the wall.

"Garrett!" I heard Isabela cry happily—it was pretty obvious that she was the reason for my bruised shoulder.

Turning with the intent to send her a death glare, I paused at the sight of her pressing her most likely diseased lips against Garrett's, pulling him down for a rather raunchy display of tongue and saliva.

I felt the tell tale drop of my stomach, the chilling of my limbs, and then the white hot fury of jealousy.

Dammit, I was infatuated.

Knew I should have stayed outside.

My eyes flickered away from the spectacle as Anders seemed to appear at my side, the medic in him answering the pain in my shoulder. He shot a glare Isabela's way on my behalf before holding a hand above my shoulder. Too bad his soothing mana couldn't heal my pride.

"Sorry," he muttered. "Seems you've gotten a little too close for her liking. She gets that way with everyone."

I forced a smile for Anders but I could tell he could see the hurt in my eyes. "Thanks." It was just like old times. All that I needed now was him tooting at me for being careless.

"You can't be careless, especially with who's after you and with her waiting in the shadows," he told me quietly.

There it was.

I let out a soft giggle, my smile finally feeling genuine on my lips. "That seems so like you to say, Anders."

He rolled his eyes at me, easily slipping into the comfortable pace. "And it's so like you to be.. careless..." he paused, staring at me strangely for a moment. I could see the confusion there—this was a conversation we'd used to have whenever Wynne didn't have the time to heal me.

I just kept smiling. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad for him to know it was me.

"I said no!" Garrett bellowed just as Anders took a step back. The look on his face hinted at what was to come. A moment later, I felt Garrett's large hand yank at my arm before I was suddenly hoisted upwards. "No means no, Isabela!"

I flailed momentarily, arms wrapping around Garrett's neck as one of his arms kept me secure by wrapping around my thighs. At least he hadn't thrown me over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

"We're leaving, Fenris, Varric!" Garrett barked before he stomped down the stairs and through the tavern.

Looking over his shoulder, I could see Isabela standing at the top of the stairs, the fury in her eyes dark and threatening. I could definitely consider this 'hastening it along'. Dammit, she was going to try to kill me, I just knew it.

By the time we were outside, both of Garrett's arms had found their way around my frame as he breathed hard. Obviously, Isabela's little attempt to retake his affections had failed horribly and managed to piss him off more than his mother.

I was positioned a little higher than him with the way he held me—for the first time I was taller than him. I didn't expect this to last at all. I unwrapped my arms from around his neck, knowing he wouldn't drop me before I carefully smoothed his hair down. It looked like Isabela had attempted to run her fingers through it and when he'd tried to pull away, she'd probably yanked on it to keep him there.

She was such a bitch that way.

"..Are you okay?" his voice was quiet, barely contained. Fenris and Varric had yet to exit the Hanged Man, most likely giving him a chance to calm himself. A pissed Hawke was a scary Hawke. You didn't know how he'd react occasionally.

"Mhmm. Anders looked over my shoulder." I kept my voice light, trying to soothe him.

He gave a small grunt, his golden eyes spearing me. "Anders was one of your companions once." It was a statement, not a question. Anders had no doubt told him.

I nodded, slowly threading my fingers through his hair. "Once. We weren't overly close, but he patched me up quite a few times."

"I should have healed you."

"You were busy," I acknowledged.

He grunted something under his breath just as Fenris and Varric decided to step out of the dirty bar.

"Hope we aren't interrupting anything?" Varric ventured with a smirk, eyeing me in Garrett's arms.

"Nope," I assured, wiggling until Garrett decided it wasn't worth it to try to keep me in his arms. He set me down gently with a small huff causing Varric's characteristic grin to widen.

"What is on the schedule for today?" Fenris inquired in his broody way. "More thugs in alleyways?"

"Nope," I repeated with a sigh, preparing myself to get down to business. "Firstly, I have to get a templar in my pocket."

"A little bit of political intrigue?" Varric looked far too happy about that. No doubt it'll become fodder for one of his stories.

"Indeed," I nodded, looking up at Garrett. He gave me his best reassuring smile, but I could tell he wasn't happy about it. For some reason, he was slightly jealous of my former companions.

Garrett took off, leading the rest of us and I was more than happy to let him lead. It wasn't something I wanted much to do with in this life.

Several deep breaths couldn't fight off my anxiety, causing me to shove through it as I followed after him. In the distance the Gallows loomed with its chains, pain, and oppression.

And with it, Cullen.

Author's Note: *Pokes head out of hiding place* So.. I know it's been awhile, but forgive me?

Sorry, everyone! Married life and plotting an original story (webtoon, super excited) has kept me fairly busy. Excuses, I know. I'll do harder to be here. Especially since I've got plans for our Lillian through several fandoms and we aren't going anywhere with me stalling over here.

That said! If there are any scenes you would be interested in seeing (I am making this for you), let me know! Writer's block is a harlot and hounds me occasionally. It doesn't hurt to get some fresh ideas to make you all happy. I'm planning on introducing Solas in DAII, so we have that to look forward to. I'll also let you guys decide if you want me to have Lillian stick around for DAI or if you'd like to see something else. (Got plans for Skyrim, Lord of the Rings [mmm, legolas], Harry Potter, Marvel [hugh jackman *swoons*], Twilight [I'mma make is so much better #jasper], and a few more.) Tell me your favorite fandoms!

As always- till next time!

Jane