A Good Man

Summary: Because being the good guy wasn't always easy, because making bad decisions wasn't what a good guy did. Killing his friends wasn't what good men did, betraying the company he worked for wasn't something good men did. He wasn't a good man, he didn't use to be one, never was one and never will be in death, but he would like to think that yes, he was a good man.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything connected to Final Fantasy 7 or all the other games of the franchise! I merely own this short plot!

Rating: T

Characters: mainly Zack Fair

He hadn't always been a good man, oh no.

He had done many mistakes in the past, sins he needed to repent and answer for. And he did.

By Ifrit, he did.

He knew joining SOLDIER wasn't all about fame and glory. He knew becoming a dog of the military wouldn't be as easygoing as running a farm in Gongaga with his father.

He knew killing people for the company meant he had to shut off his emotions if it meant surviving in a world where death was something of a trade.

But he also knew no human could completely shut off their emotions, so he didn't shut off his either.

It had been the night of his first kill, the first man he had been forced to kill. Back then he had been a SOLDIER Third Class, a rookie still a little blue eyed and a hopeless dreamer.

The harsh reality thrust upon wasn't something he had wanted, it was something he had to survive in order to see the day of tomorrow.

He had written letters to his parents, stating he was fine and he joined SOLDIER. He wrote that his parents take care of themselves and he would send a part of his payment to them like the good son he was.

At least, he very much clung to the idea he was a good son. At least something good about him in this sick, twisted world.

He learned SOLDIERs weren't prone to friendly talks and much less prone to even starting a conversation. But he was different. He liked talking to people, finding out more about them, he liked joking around and hearing and making people laugh. He liked having people he could say he trusted to cover his back when he went out on a mission.

And thankfully, he found all of that in another SOLDIER Third Class, Kunsel.

Kunsel had been his first friend prior to joining SOLDIER, he was quite smart, always updated on the latest gossip and intel concerning their company, some information not even he knew. But he was funny too, always there for a good laugh and a good drink after a long day of sparring and fighting.

Zack had found a friend in Kunsel, a friend he deemed invaluable as the years of their servitude to SOLDIER passed them by and soon, both young men had made it Second Class.

Missions were getting harder and the days grew longer, as did his nightmares.

The nightmares started after his first kill, then again after his second one and so on and so on. He had many a sleepless nights, often making up excuses to his worried friend of not managing to sleep because he was busy breaking his record of doing squats in the dead of the night.

But Kunsel knew him better and whenever the cheery, happy-go-lucky Zack would get a clouded, almost depressed look about him, Kunsel took him outside for a long, strenuous sparring session. That always helped, tension left his body, his emotions a whirlwind of conflicted feelings inside him that rattled against the cage he put them in so they weren't released out in the open.

And then he did release them when he had caught his breath and had looked at a worried Kunsel.

He had told him how his nightmares terrified him, seeing the faces of the people he had killed and having lost count to how many there were already. He had stopped counting after sixty-six. Kunsel had stopped counting after forty.

With their hearts on their sleeves and their minds a jumbled mess, they talked. They talked through the night, not bothered at the fact that they would be dead tired tomorrow and no use on a mission. For now, they were what they always wanted to be.

Human.

Simple young men with big dreams and big hearts ready to take on the world and explore its vastness and secrets. Maybe find a cute girl to settle with, maybe start a family, maybe do the odd job here and there but knowing they could always return home to people that loved them.

It was a farfetched dream now, if not a downright illusion. SOLDIERs were known not to live very long, typically surviving past the age of thirty and even fourty was seen as a accomplishment. Only the Elite, the First Classes, were somewhere in their thirties, the other grunts in their late teens or early twenties.

There weren't many First Classes in SOLDIER, as far as Zack knew, there were only three. He had met them on occasion and even talked to Angeal Hewley, who had offered to take him in under his wing and train him.

That day was where he learned to trust an older man that wasn't his father but very well could be. The physical resemblance aside, both shared similar attitudes, even if Angeal was the calmer of the two.

Zack's fighting prowess and sword skills had improved immensely but he never got rid of that playful side of him, the jokester and the clown. He wouldn't survive this hellhole if he ever let go of them.

Zack and Angeal had grown close, and Zack couldn't find any reason why their newfound friendship and deep connection as student and mentor should be endangered.

Then, the missions started again. Angeal had gotten called away often with his best friends, the other Firsts, Genesis and Sephiroth. He had only ever heard stories of them but found not all rumors to be true.

Angeal was the heart of SOLDIER, but he wasn't cold.

Genesis was a temperamental man with a flair for drama, but he wasn't a killing machine.

Sephiroth was a bit scary and intimidating, but he was no monster.

And soon, he had been able to call them friends as well. Genesis would often offer advice, concerning SOLDIER and at times women. Angeal would be the unbreakable force behind him and offer his support and understanding whenever Zack needed it. Sephiroth would be the stern but helpful and kind teacher he never had, offering to train Zack at times and even fulfill missions together. He also taught him of things Zack hadn't understood at that time, things about friendship and bonds, about comrades and betrayal, but also about death and destruction and about how fame could quickly go over your head if one wasn't careful about setting their priorities straight.

He liked to think he was a good man then, fighting to help people.

Zack had learned a lot from Shinra, but the company had taken a lot from him too. His family, his friends back at Gongaga, relationships, the ability to walk like any normal man down the street and be bothered by every day worries of the world. Instead, thoughts of death, his possible survival and everything in between would cloud his mind like a poisonous fog.

But Zack remained an optimist, he refused to believe that was all that life had to it. He was a country boy at heart, he knew life didn't offer sugar coated words and a comforting silky embrace, he knew he had to bite down on his pride to achieve some things and grow.

But SOLDIER, Shinra, had shown him just how cruel the world could be at its darkest hour. Killing a man who was on the verge of tears and well beyond the point of begging for his life had never been on Zack's to-do list.

But he did.

Eradicating an entire company just because their alternative energy fuels would disrupt some of Shinra's workings and chase away their clients.

All hail Shinra, huh?

It had been another year when Zack had been appointed First Class, his long lasting dream, but he didn't feel joyful, oh no.

Two days before, he had learned Genesis and Angeal had defected from SOLDIER, abruptly left the company, reported sightings of them had been near their home village of Banora. Back then, Zack's heart had ached with hurt and betrayal and confusion, not understanding what could have drove them to just up and leave.

Sephiroth had remained silent, a silent vigilant nearby who these days had only offered distanced looks and sparse words. But that had been alright, after a confrontation with Genesis and Angeal, Sephiroth had offered encouraging words to Zack and kind but small smiles.

He couldn't even imagine the pain and betrayal Sephiroth must have been feeling, being left out by his closest friends like this. But they pushed on. They obeyed orders. Just like soldiers did.

But then Lazard gave the order to eliminate them. The threats. Former loyal and devoted elite First Classes that had pledged alliance to SOLDIER, be eliminated like the common enemy. Nausea had settled in the pit of Zack's stomach and that time, he could only wonder what Sephiroth thought of that.

They had come close to capturing them too. But surprisingly, Sephiroth let them escape. He reported them for dead. For dealt with.

And Lazard found out.

Another mission. Another escape. Another sting of betrayal.

It was the attack on HQ that had ripped him away from the slums, just when he wanted to see the beautiful flower girl that had captured his heart so. They were under attack, by Genesis no less. So Zack set out and met him.

Angeal.

But not as an enemy, no, as comrades. Allies. Zack had been relieved to find out the good in Angeal hadn't vanished, that he left SOLDIER to protect Genesis and in extent, Zack and Sephiroth.

He revealed secrets about SOLDIER not even the ever informed Kunsel knew, twisted plots, sick experiments done by Hojo and a bitter rivalry between Hollander and Hojo.

That's when the whole nightmare really started. Zack had fought Genesis and Genesis presumably died, driven to suicide by the company he worked for.

Zack had been forced to fight Angeal, had been forced to kill him. But Angeal had smiled in his final moments, given him the Buster sword, his family's honor and left the world of the living with a smile, a death worthy of a true hero.

And Sephiroth? He hadn't shown for a couple of days, mourning for the loss of his best friends, before he had arrived with the sightings of Genesis copies and had confronted Zack if Genesis really died.

They set off to finish the job.

And this time, Zack thought he did.

Engaging Genesis in battle, he defeated him, his degradation already in full effect by the time he found him, in desperate need of S-cells, the Sephiroth gene or Jenova's will.

Would a good man kill people that were dear to another? Would he? Zack wouldn't know.

Now it was just the two of them, Zack and Sephiroth.

Zack had come to terms with what happened, slowly but surely and had realized something about the company he was still working for.

It was only after slowly discovering Shinra's deeper mechanics that Zack had taken to calling the company what he was now.

A den of monsters.

So much he has also told Cloud. He had met the blond while out on a mission, a mission to search for the defected SOLDIERs Genesis Rhapsodos and Angeal Hewley.

Since the incidents, they had become good friends and Zack had been relieved to find Kunsel and Cloud were willing to stay by his side. Sephiroth had been good support as well, but never showed his own emotions concerning the death of his friends.

And then, the mission to Nibelheim.

They were to investigate a mako reactor that had some disturbances and so they set out, to Cloud's hometown.

None of them expected to find there what they did.

Jenova's remains, an extraterrestrial being that had planned on taking over the world and destroying it, Sephiroth's links to her, the super SOLDIER Shinra created for their benefit...

Sephiroth's one way road to madness.

And the burning of Nibelheim.

He met a girl there, Tifa, Tifa Lockhart. Pretty little thing and a sweetheart, Cloud's sweetheart, and Zack never wanted to meet someone under those circumstances. Rescuing them from his own friend gone rogue, her father killed by Sephiroth's hands and she mortally wounded.

He never found out if she had survived or not. Sephiroth had been to powerful, Zack's own injuries prior had been too severe and the SOLDIER fell.

Cloud had rushed in to deal with Sephiroth and after his victory, Zack thought all was well.

But the nightmare started again.

When he had woken up again, he was in a test tube, filled to the brim with mako.

When he broke out of it and discovered Cloud in the same tube, he knew it wouldn't end well.

Mako poisoning, a potentially lethal consequence of a too high dosage of mako too quickly for the inexperienced. One of SOLDIERs joining criteria was receiving the mako injections well, otherwise you were unable to join.

And so they escaped, Cloud slung comatose on Zack's back and they trekked through half the world to arrive to Midgar, their home, freedom.

Freedom that was never destined to be theirs.

Shinra came, SOLDIERs came and Zack's time came.

He had fought with everything he had and then some, killing people he used to work with, people he used to call comrades, people that worked for the same company he used to.

People that stood in his way and were a threat to Cloud.

But what good man would kill his own friends?

And when the rain started falling and Zack had looked upon Cloud's now awake but confused state, he had smiled, had given him the Buster sword, told him to be his living legacy...

...and died.

Died with a smile on his face, he had no regrets, his only concern had been not seeing Aerith for the last time and explain everything to her before he descended into the Lifestream.

But he was free.

Death granted things called freedom.

And he met Angeal again.

That was good.

Hey, would you say I became a hero?

Zack smiled, staring down at the now adult Cloud living together with Tifa, who had thankfully survived the Nibelheim incident, and two children they adopted.

And he met Aerith again and he thought that this time, all was going to be well.

Now he could live the life he wanted.

Because that was all I wanted to be.

Because that was all I was.

A good man.

I hope everyone enjoyed the read! Thank you for reading and leave a review! :)