Team:Pride of Portree

Position: Chaser 1

Written for the Quidditch league round ten.

Write a story inspired by the song One Sweet Day by Mariah Carey and Boyz II Men.

Optional prompts: 1. (location) Godric's Hollow; 4. (Dialogue) How could you possibly think that was a good idea? 13. (word count) 2000

Word count before A/N 2000 according to Google Docs

A/N 1. Strictly Come Dancing is a massively popular UK television show where celebrities are paired up with professional dancers in order to learn a variety of Latin and Ballroom dances. It has become such a huge part of British culture that I decided it ought to have a fanfic written in its honour. I believe there is a US equivalent called Dancing with the Stars. The Christmas special is often on Boxing Day or the 27th of December depending on when the final has been.

A/N 2. I know that all of the time turners were supposed to have been destroyed, however in Cursed Child reference was made to Lucius Malfoy having an illegal one; he probably had much more nefarious uses for it than Severus.

Thanks to Oni and Sarah for beta reading.

Strictly Come Severus

"How could you possibly think that was good idea?" Severus Snape stormed through the door in full Potions master's billow. Hermione wondered how he managed to maintain such a façade of gusting fabric when dressed only in trousers and a plain woollen jumper. She had frequently checked his clothes for enchantments but had found no evidence of magically enhanced tailoring. She sighed in exasperation and fully turned her attention to her irate husband.

It had seemed like a marvellous idea two-thirds of the way down a bottle of Merlot, and snuggled up with Ginny in the perennially cold library of Grimmauld Place. They had been watching Strictly Come Dancing on the charmed TV.

"I wish I could dance like that." Ginny gazed wistfully at the screen. "I can just see me and Harry doing the foxtrot."

Hermione bit her tongue. She didn't mention that keeping Harry's glasses in one piece had been a full time job for her during their schooldays. Instead, she allowed her vision to blur slightly, mentally replacing the dancers on the screen with herself and Severus. The mirage was so enchanting that when Ginny said, "We should go for lessons!" Hermione had found herself smiling and agreeing.

The location of the only available rhumba class—in Godric's Hollow—should have been an omen, Hermione thought. Severus's point-blank refusal to even set foot in the village let alone in a dance class should have put an end to things.

But it didn't.

Hermione wheedled and connived and begged and spent two days sorting Flobberworms in order to secure her husband's attendance at the much maligned class.

"This place is full of Muggles," Severus hissed.

"I'm a Muggle," Hermione hissed back. "And you're a half-blood so get off your high horse."

"It's not a matter of being on my high horse." He looked around, scowling. "But why on earth would I want to learn Muggle dances?"

"Because I want to learn Muggle dances." Hermione slipped her arm around his waist and looked up into his inky eyes, detecting the hint of softness there which was only for her.

He had ceased his complaining then, his arm coming around her possessively as the students were asked to introduce themselves by the instructor — a rather dashing looking Spaniard named Javier. Hermione had waved at Harry and Ginny when they entered but made no move to join them. It was quite enough that Severus was attending the class in the village where Lily and James had lived and died without inflicting the company of the Boy-Who-Lived upon him as well.

Things hadn't started off too badly. Javier had walked them through a few basic steps. The Walks, Spot turns, Basic Movements and Cucarachas had gone reasonably well. Admittedly, Severus looked as though he had swallowed something particularly foul as he danced, but he was there making an effort, and he wasn't nearly as clumsy as Harry, who had upended Ginny twice already.

Then the music started.

"What on earth is this drivel?" Severus stopped dead in the middle of the dance floor causing the couple behind them to crash into Hermione. He scowled darkly at them.

"It's Boyz II Men," she told him, leading him forward which earned her a glare from Javier who had been very clear on the matter of which partner ought to lead the dance.

"Boyz II Men? What a ridiculous name…and what is that dreadful caterwauling?"

"That's Mariah Carey." Hermione desperately steered him into a Cucaracha.

"Does she have some sort of medical condition? She sounds like your feline when I accidentally tread on his tail."

"No, that's just how she sings; she's very popular." Hermione glanced around, desperately hoping nobody was listening to their conversation. To her great relief, the music stopped.

"Now," Javier told them, "this is a song of great passion, and great sorrow."

"The only sorrow is that it was ever written," Severus muttered.

Hermione kicked him.

"I want to see you touch your partner with real emotion. Gentlemen, caress her body as if she is the most precious thing you have ever touched."

Hermione looked expectantly at Severus who was staring at her in abject horror.

"I'm not touching you like that."

"Why not?" Hermione felt herself blush. "You don't normally object to touching me, and last night you—"

"That was in the privacy of our own home." Severus winced at the sight of Harry enthusiastically groping Ginny. "Such activities are not for public performence."

Hermione was almost grateful as the music started up again.

"You know the writer clearly knew nothing of the afterlife," Severus said, making a valiant effort to caress the floor with his foot.

"What makes you say that?" Hermione could barely speak as she was enthusiastically bent backwards at a spine-crunching angle.

"Because, had there been such a depth of unresolved feeling between Ms Carey and her unfortunate friend, he or she would have remained a ghost, allowing her to serenade them endlessly in her own inimitable style." He winced as Mariah struck a particularly high note.

"Oh." Hermione had never really considered the lyrics before.

"Merlin, get me some cotton wool," Severus complained as the song reached its admittedly-ear-splitting climax and he steered her through a series of Progressive Walks.

"You know this song was very popular when we were in school," Hermione said. "It topped the chart in America for sixteen weeks."

"Dunderheads."

And so it went on for the entire ninety minutes of the long awaited class. The irony was that, when he was distracted from his unholy hatred of Mariah Carey, Severus was actually rather an adept dancer. Hermione longed to enjoy the dancing without the mingled soundtrack of Boyz II Men and Severus Snape complaining.

The fight that had ensued upon their arrival home had been short and vicious and had resulted in Severus spending a long and penitent night on the lumpy couch in the living room.

A week later, he had watched in silence as Hermione changed into her specially purchased jazz pants and leg warmers and packed her shoes and a bottle of water into a rucksack.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm going to our dance class."

Severus folded his arms across his chest. "I made my feelings on that particular form of entertainment quite plain, Hermione."

"I know that, Severus." She took a handful of Floo Powder from the pot on the mantelpiece. "That's why I'm going on my own. Javier says he will partner me if there aren't any single men." She felt a thrill of vindictive pleasure at the look on her possessive husband's face as she stepped into the floo.

Ninety minutes later, she was unsurprised to find Severus wearing out the rug in front of the fireplace.

"How was your class?"

Hermione gave a tired sigh. "It was fine, thank you."

"Did you find a partner?"

"Yes I did."

"And was he…acceptable?"

"Yes, he was fine."

"Then why do you look so unhappy?"

She sighed again. "Because I didn't want to dance with just anybody, Severus. I wanted to dance with you."

She walked past him into the bathroom, closing and locking the door firmly behind her.

It was Christmas Eve and Hermione tumbled, slightly tipsily, out of the floo. She and Ginny had been watching the thrilling climax of 'Strictly.' Hermione looked around the usually sparsely furnished living room in confusion. It was warmly lit by hundreds of candles and the sofas had been pushed back against the wall to create a small dance floor.

"Severus?" Hermione called uncertainly, wondering what in Merlin's name was going on.

There was no response, but to her surprise music began to play. To her even greater surprise it was the dulcet tones of Mariah Carey mingled with those of Boyz II Men. Her husband stepped through the doorway and Hermione gasped. It would have been a step too far to expect Severus Snape to eschew his habitual black, but he had invested in a pair of form fitting tuxedo pants and a matching silk shirt. His freshly washed hair was tied back from his face in a style favoured by Javier. He looked only mildly self-conscious as he strode across the room and offered her his hand.

"May I have this dance, Madam Snape?"

Hermione smiled and dropped her handbag on the floor as she reached out to place her fingers in his.

"You may," she said.

"So tell me again exactly what happened?"

Hermione was once more snuggled under a blanket on the moth eaten couch at Twelve Grimmauld Place. The Christmas special of Strictly Come Dancing was about to start and Harry had been dispatched to Muggle London to source a Chinese takeaway.

In response to Ginny's question, Hermione rolled her eyes and prepared to retell her story.

"Well, I got home the other day and Severus had set up this whole romantic scene, candles, dance floor, he'd even dressed himself up like a proper Latin dancer." Hermione pretended not to see Ginny's grimace at the thought of the austere Potions master revealing his more sensual side. Ginny tolerated Hermione's relationship with Severus with remarkable sangfroid, but that didn't mean she liked to imagine that he and Hermione did anything more in the comfort of their own home than brew potions and examine rare texts.

"And then what happened?" Ginny's squeamishness regarding Snape was clearly overcome by her curiosity.

"Well he put on that song that was playing in the first class, you know, the Boyz II Men one."

"Oh yes, 'I know you're smiling down on me from heaven…'" Ginny wailed causing Hermione to clap her hands over her ears.

"Yes, that's the one," she agreed. "Please don't ever sing in front of me again, Gin."

"I won't if you tell me the rest of the story." Ginny was sitting forward on the couch, hands resting on her knees like an enraptured child.

"So then he asked me to dance, but he was amazing, Ginny. I couldn't believe how good he'd become."

Ginny frowned. "He didn't seem bad, but he wasn't that good at the class we went to."

"I know, but after I told him how important it was to me that we dance together, he started taking lessons secretly. He's been practicing every day." She lowered her voice. "He even borrowed an illegal time turner from Lucius Malfoy so he could make more time to practice. No wonders he's been exhausted recently, he's been putting in sixteen hour days!"

"Woah." Ginny's brown eyes were like saucers. "Don't tell Harry that part; I don't think he'd approve of two Ex-Death Eaters playing around with a time-turner."

Hermione waved a hand airily. "Oh I'm not worried about that, neither of those two want to bring back Voldemort; their lives are much too comfortable with him safely dead."

"You're probably right." Ginny took a sip of her hot chocolate, and wiped the whipped cream moustache from her upper lip. "Well I have to admit it, Hermione, Snape may be a greasy git but he certainly knows how to woo a lady when it suits him."

"Yes," Hermione agreed, avoiding Ginny's eye and biting her lower lip.

"So what's the problem?" Ginny instantly picked up on her friend's discomfort.

"Well, it's great that he wants to be romantic and everything, I really do appreciate the effort he's gone to…"

"But," Ginny prompted.

"It's just, he thinks I really love that song"—she held up a hand to prevent Ginny from exercising her dubious vocal talents again—"we've listened to it every day since Christmas Eve. He's always humming it, he even puts it on when we…well, you know."

Ginny shrugged. "So what? It's a great song; it was Billboard's most successful song of the 1990's after all."

Hermione bit her lip again. "I know, Ginny, and it's lovely that Severus is making an effort; that's why I don't have the heart to tell him that I actually can't think of a song I hate more!"