Chapter 4: Kerze (Candle)

Chapter Text

Kuroh had to fight the instinct of turning back every step he took away from the building he left Shiro at. He hated to leave the argument at that, but Neko was fast and he knew he had to catch up before she could disappear for good. He caught a glimpse of the running girl a few times before an illusion would make him lose track again, and soon he found himself back to the bridge to Ashinaka Academy.

"What are you doing…" Kuroh sighed, running to the island. The service entrance Shiro had been using was still open and he used that to clandestinely enter the campus.

The school campus was as lively yet peaceful as Kuroh remembered, the only difference being some stalls and kiosks left from the School Festival and a few more Christmas decorations.

Having lost track of Neko, the first place Kuroh went looking for her was the dorm room Shiro had been staying at: he used his powers to jump to the balcony from outside. The room had been vacated and used as storage, full with boxes and props, but devoid of any sign of life. Just to be sure, Kuroh called for Neko several times and looked into every nook and cranny before giving up and leaving the room for good. He glanced one last time at the motifs on the wall, the cosy little kitchen and the small tea table at the centre of the room: there was nothing resembling a home in that place, now. Neko had probably realized this as well.

The lectures had already ended when he walked towards the actual school building, although several students were still wandering the corridors, who for cleaning duties, who for club activities.

"Excuse me, are you lost?" a couple of students approached him at one point. Kuroh knew he didn't look anything like a student, in his ragged suit and sword at the hilt, so he quickly lied to their face.

"I'm looking for my cat," he explained. "It's small and white...pink-ish coloured. Have you seen it?"

One of the students shook his head, while the other one seemed to think about it for a while before answering. "I heard there's a white cat in the old gym storage. Ah, but it's off limits since the rooftop crashed a few days ago."

Of course. That place.

"I'll take a look, thanks!" Kuroh bowed politely before darting away, running across the campus until he spotted the old building.

The shed was surrounded by yellow tape and several warning signs, but its door was slightly ajar. Kuroh sneaked in and, as he thought, immediately saw Neko, not as a cat but as a normal girl -although she had discarded her clothes-, curled on a mattress in a corner of the room.

"Neko," he called softly. The girl winced but didn't move.

Instead of insisting or picking her up, Kuroh sat beside her and started stroking her hair as he'd seen Shiro do. Slowly, the girl began to sob quietly and got closer to the boy, who took off his coat and covered her with it.

Without realizing it, he had dozed off at some point, since he jolted awake when it was already dark outside: moonlight was coming in through the hole in the ceiling.

Let's meet again by sundown .

Would that promise still be valid after their argument? In any case, Kuroh severely doubted Shiro was still waiting for them on that rooftop.

"I already failed…" he murmured.

"What's that, Kurosuke?" Neko sleepily asked, proving she was in fact awake herself, although she was still curled up next to him.

"Nothing," he added. "What do you say we look for someplace warmer to stay? And...let's find you some clothes."

Neko hummed quietly but didn't move.

"Hey, Kurosuke," she called quietly and oddly serious, "why was Shiro so cruel? I really thought he was going to fight the Red King…"

Kuroh didn't think that would have ever happened, but still shivered remembering the tone with which the First King addressed Mikoto Suoh.

"I don't know," he admitted. "He's been alone for a long time before he met you."

"But Neko found Shiro right here," the girl replied, as if that made an argument, "and he was so kind and warm and…" she had to stop as tears had started flowing down her face once again. "I don't want to be alone anymore, Kuroh…"

It was almost unnatural for her to call him by his name, but the whole situation was unnatural for them. Moonlight faded as clouds started amassing in the sky above them, pre announcing another storm.

Kuroh stood up, stretching sore muscles. "Let's find another place to stay. I'm hungry and you probably are as well," he suggested.

"I want to go back to Shiro…"

Kuroh froze.

"Neko, Shiro probably wants to be alone now," he said, slowly, avoiding her eyes.

"Why?!" The girl jumped on her feet. "Being alone is cold! And sad! Why would he want to be alone?"

"Because loneliness is addicting," Kuroh remembered how long it took him to leave the empty house Ichigen had left him and venture to Tokyo, and he couldn't even begin to compare himself to the First King. "And he's been alone for a long time."

Neko pouted: "Neko was alone too...and I don't miss it."

Kuroh sighed and with a soft smile ruffled her hair. "Come on, let's go." He opened the shed's doors and walked outside just as the first snowflakes started falling.

Neko rushed outside after him, shivering at the suddenly colder air, and closed tightly Kuroh's coat around herself.

"Ah!" she exclaimed suddenly, looking up. "Ahh!" She pointed her finger at the sky.

Kuroh looked up: the sleek white shape of the Himmelreich appeared and disappeared behind the clouds above the island.

"It's Shiro! He came looking for us!"

Kuroh stared at the ship, his lips slightly parted and a dumbfounded expression on his face. Had he been wrong? Did the Silver King really came looking for them? He had to know that their argument was far from over, but was he going to face them nonetheless.

"Ah, of course." Kuroh smiled with relief. "He's a stubborn little shit, after all!"

"Shiro! Shiro! We're here!" Neko called, waving her hands frantically.

The ship kept on circling above them but no gondola descended, even after several minutes. A thin layer of snow had begun to cover their surroundings when Kuroh realized. "He doesn't know where we are."

"What?" Neko cried.

Kuroh clenched his fist, the bird's eye cameras were probably obstructed by the falling snow and they had no way to catch the ship's attention from their position unless they did something showy. The boy actually considered lighting a fire before remembering a peculiar line of conversation from the evening before.

What, do you think I've always been alone?

The Candle.

For a Clansman or King, to light a Candle meant to flare their aura just for the purpose to be noticed, but Kuroh's powers of space manipulation weren't showy or anything, so that left him a single option.

Former Kings used to visit and introduce themselves, and I also invited some regular people who used the Candle from time to time.

For common people, unrelated to the Dresden Slate there was a way to be welcomed on the airship and that was a PDA application, appropriately called Candle, that lit the screen in a bright red, visible from afar. Kuroh quickly downloaded the software and ran it, the screen light almost blinding him for a moment before he raised his arm and pointed it upwards.

"Kuroh?" Neko looked at him, perplexed.

"Please, work," the boy muttered under his breath.

Long minutes passed and Kuroh's arm started to ache when finally a glint of light between the clouds announced the descending of the small oval ship that connected the Himmelreich to the ground. Kuroh finally relaxed, sighing with relief.

As the vehicle landed, a small group of students had approached to see it. Among them, Kuroh briefly spotted some familiar faces as he and Neko boarded the gondola: he took note of coming back and explaining at least some things to Kukuri as soon as he could.

As the cabin rose to the sky, Neko was as excited as one could expect, barely keeping still in the small ambient. Kuroh, although relieved the Silver King had found and picked them up, was still determined to finish their discussion and thus kept a straight face as they slowly approached the airship flying above clouds. Metal doors opened below the nacelle, allowing the gondola to slip into the deck, and closed behind them just moments before the small cabin's doors opened as well.

Kuroh took a deep breath and stepped out, towards the man who was expecting them, as ready as one can be to speak his mind, before he suddenly froze as he saw his expression. There was something more than relief or longing twisting Shiro's face, something wildly desperate, as he lunged towards them and spontaneously threw his arms around them both.

"You came back!" He simply said with trembling voice. "You came back."

Oh .

"Of course, stupid Shiro!" Neko replied, hugging him back while Kuroh was too stunned to react in any way. "You can't do anything without us, how could we leave you alone?"

The man simply hugged them tighter: "I'm so sorry," he continued, "Thank you for coming back, I'm sorry."

Oh . Kuroh slowly raised his free arm to reciprocate the hug, gripping tightly both fabric and hair on Shiro's back. I was wrong. He realized. "Loneliness is addicting, but once you get rid of it, it becomes unbearable."

Shiro slowly let them go and looked at him, eyes wet and a mild smile. "Ichigen's?"

Kuroh bit his tongue, he didn't mean to say that aloud. "Mine," he corrected him, "I just thought it up."

If he thought about it, it had been just a few days since they last fell asleep together on a sofa like that. The circumstances had changed drastically, but it was still the same people, looking for comfort in each other and yet unable to demolish the walls that were created between them. It was this kind of thoughts that kept Kuroh awake through the night, as he stood still, his head leaning on Shiro's shoulder, listening to the other two's slowly breathing.

As he opened his eyes, he saw thousands of tiny droplets of water appearing on the airship's windows, only to be brushed away by the wind in horizontal lines. The panoramic room's lights were off, and the only mild illumination was provided by the lights from the city below and now and then by lightning. Kuroh slowly shifted to look at the other two: Neko was, agreeably with her feline inclinations, curled up with her head on Shiro's legs. Shiro himself was also apparently asleep, but once again it was his breathing pattern that betrayed him. Still, without saying a word, Kuroh found himself staring.

His features relaxed, eyes closed, lips slightly parted, the Silver King looked less ethereal and more like a normal person. A normal young person. Kuroh knew this man had to be close to the Gold King's age although his Sanctum protected him from being affected by the flow of time, but it was actually tough to guess old he exactly had he been when he stopped aging: at a glance he looked like he was in his late 20s, but had more than a few childish habits and a look in his eyes when he was serious that betrayed his actual age. The thought ate and nagged at him until he couldn't suppress it anymore and spoke softly, to avoid disturbing Neko's slumber.

"Can I ask you a question?"

Shiro hummed affirmatively, without opening his eyes or stirring, showing he'd been aware of Kuroh being awake as well.

"It's a bit personal, so feel free to ignore me if it's too far..." Kuroh continued, hiding his embarrassment.

Shiro quietly chuckled, but didn't urge him to continue, so Kuroh ended up waiting several seconds before asking the question lingering on his tongue.

"How old were you when you became the Silver King?"

The way Shiro blinked and looked wide eyed at Kuroh was enough to show just how unexpected that question was. "Where does that come from?" he blurted out.

"I-it's just," Kuroh stammered, blushing red, "I was wondering because, uh...I can't guess on my..."

Shiro burst out in a rather undignified giggle that made Neko stir in her sleep, as Kuroh averted his eyes with embarrassment. When he looked up again, the Silver King had stopped laughing and was instead looking out of the windows, his eyes unfocused.

"We're still below clouds," he murmured, slowly shifting and moving Neko in a more comfortable position before standing up and stretching. "Gonna change course," he said a little bit louder, still keeping his voice down not to awake the sleeping girl.

"I'll wait here, then." Kuroh sighed.

"I'll be back ~" the man nodded. He raised his hand as if to pat Kuroh on the shoulder, but stopped before touching him and quickly walked away.

Kuroh stood still for a few minutes, watching the raindrops rarefy as they gained altitude, slowly pondering on the fact that he definitely avoided the question. Neko mumbled something in her sleep, prompting the boy to stand up before she could invade his space, and she stretched on the sofa.

With a sigh, Kuroh left the panoramic room and walked the corridors up to the helm room: the metal door was ajar and he could hear Shiro's voice from within. Wondering who he was talking to, he approached it quietly.

"...to admit, your clansman took me by surprise." Shiro laughed, despite being alone in the room. Before Kuroh could step in, though, an unknown voice coming from the radio took him by surprise.

"I sent Kotosaka to you as a sign of trust, is it too much of me to ask the same of you?" It was a man's voice, extremely serious and polite.

"You haven't denied your involvement with the Colourless King's actions. Why should I trust you?"

Kuroh clenched his fists, if this was this the man who caused the whole mess then he knew he could not forgive him.

"I apologize." The voice replied in a robotic tone. "I interfered with them but had no idea they would target other Kings."

"What's going on?!" Kuroh barged in the control room, unable to stay hidden any longer. He barely noticed the Silver King didn't appear to be surprised.

"...one of your clansmen?" the voice wondered calmly after a few seconds of silence.

"I don't have clansmen," Shiro replied, "but he's on my side. He'll listen to everything I hear."

"Very well, then. I will agree to your conditions. I'll bring only one person who isn't my clansman with me and you will do the same, as long as we can meet away from the Gold Clan's gaze."

Shiro nodded, although the other couldn't see him. "I'll need time to shake the Usagi off. Let's say a week from now, at the coordinates you sent?"

"Deal." He replied, excitement akin to a child's now present in that voice. "I'll look forward to it."

The radio turned off and Shiro sighed wearily, pinching the bridge of his nose: "...why is it so…" he muttered, before spinning on the chair to face Kuroh. "Sorry about using you like that, dealing with Kings is more of a hassle than I thought it'd be."

Dealing with Kings. So that only left one option about the voice's identity: "The Green King?"

"The parrot we saw earlier was his clansman and proxy. He requested a meeting, I declined, he then contacted me directly here and there's no saying he's not listening even now." Shiro explained.

Kuroh nodded, he'd listened enough to understand the rest of the situation. It was something else that bugged him: "You still don't intend to have any clansmen, do you?"

The man gave him a sheepish look: "It's complicated. I'll protect her but I can't make her part of my clan just yet."

An awkward silence filled the room, as both of them didn't know what to say next. Kuroh was about to leave when the Silver King spoke again.

"Almost 23," he said, quietly. "Klaudia was 25 and I was almost 23 years old at the time of the Dresden bombing."

Kuroh couldn't help but stare: this man was - albeit just physically - only three years older than him. And yet he was talking about it as if that was the day he stopped living. In a way, Kuroh knew, this was true and probably the reason he was hesitant to answer. He studied the details of his expression, wondering how long it had taken him to realize he was unable to die or age or change at all.

"You don't wear it well." Desperate to enlighten the mood this was the first thing that slipped from his lips and he desperately beat himself mentally for saying something so ill-mannered and out-of-place.

Shiro's expression slowly morphed into surprise before he suddenly burst into laughter to the point of tears forming in the corner of his eyes. Kuroh just stood still awkwardly, unable to understand why in the name of sanity that was so funny.

"Sorry, sorry," Shiro said when he was once again able to formulate words. "Nobody ever said something like that to me, I guess it's pretty ironic! You know I'm pushing a century..."

"I guess that's true…" Kuroh grumbled, "Anyway, 22? You were the leading researcher of the König Projekt at...what, 20? That's pretty impressive!"

Shiro laughed bitterly: "I got my Biophysics degree at 18. I guess that saved my life, in a way. I would have surely ended up in a work camp with a pink triangle on my clothes if I hadn't proved the country that I was a genius."

Kuroh shivered at the light tone he used, in spite of the subject matter. "Sorry," he looked down, "I didn't mean to make you recall anything bad."

"It's fine," Shiro stood up and Kuroh felt cold fingers gently brushing against his cheek. "You want to know me, and you have every right to. I also want to know about you, when you will feel like it."

The incident. The fire. The old man who abused him and abandoned him in the mountains. Yukari's betrayal. Ichigen's illness and death. "Mine's not a nice story," he admitted, but didn't shun the sign of affection.

"Neither is mine, but we don't have to hold their weight on our own anymore, isn't that right?"

"I! Found! You!" the metal door slammed open and Neko ran into them, tackling them both to the ground. "I found you!" she joyously repeated.

Shiro laughed, not showing any sign of wanting to stand up: "You defeated me!" he struck a dramatic pose, moving a hand to his forehead: "Please spare us, O mighty feline!"

"Nevurr!" she proudly arched her back, playing along.

Kuroh sighed, massaging the shoulder that painfully hit the ground when he fell.

"You hurt?" Shiro wondered as he saw his motion.

"Not really," he let it go and sat straight up. "I understand you're enjoying the floor, but I'm exhausted now: I think I'll go to sleep."

Shiro nodded, still not moving from under Neko's weight. "Actually, why don't we eat something before we go to sleep?" he suggested as Kuroh walked towards the door. The girl nodded vigorously.

Kuroh scoffed at the suggestion: "You're aware it's three in the morning, right?"

"Yup." The man replied without any hint of shame. "And we haven't had a proper meal since yesterday's breakfast, ludicrous."

"I want some food!" Neko butted in.

Kuroh gave up: "All right, but I'm tired so I can't promise anything…"

"Thank you, wifey!" Shiro said in a sing-a-song tone.

Kuroh's hand on the door twitched: "You stop it with those jokes and stand up that's disgraceful ."

If something, losing his temper had the opposite effect than he desired, as the other two burst out laughing. Kuroh sighed, but had to turn around to hide a small smile that involuntarily appeared on his lips. For the first time in those last chaotic days, he finally felt like things were starting to work out.

Don't let him.

He wouldn't.