Hi there! So, this was my first Elsanna fic, I started it a while ago and now feel I am far enough into the story to start posting chapters. I am aiming to post a new chapter each week as this is still in progress, but never fear, I do intend to finish it- I promise you that, there is nothing more than unfinished stories. This is a slow burn Elsanna and yes, they are sisters, only because the story line wouldn't really make sense any other way. The M rating isn't needed just yet, but don't worry, it will be appropriate in further chapters.

Please forgive any errors, I have no beta. Also, I'm Aussie, so, you may find a few differences in spelling. Anyway, enough rambling from me, enjoy and as always, I don't own Frozen or any other movies/songs etc. I reference in this fic.

Chapter One:
Strike Through the Heart

Elsa sat on the hard, wooden floor, her back leaning against her bedroom door. Her legs were pulled up to her chest, her arms wrapped around them. Hugging herself, her head resting on top of her knees as tears silently slid down her cheeks.

Knock, knock, knock.

"Elsa? Please, I know you're in there! People are asking where you've been. They say have courage and I'm trying to, I'm right out here for you, just let me in! We only have each other, it's just you and me. What are we gonna do?"

Elsa ignored her sister's pleas, she couldn't let her in. What if she hurt her again? She couldn't risk causing anyone any more pain -especially not Anna, their parents were gone, she had no one left and she wasn't about to risk hurting her again, she was better off alone. Anna turned, leaning against the door, her knees gave way and she slid down to the floor. "Do you wanna build a snowman?" She whispered tearfully.

They stayed like that for hours, their backs together, separated by a slice of wood. Their eyes grew heavy, emotionally exhausted -their tears long since dried up they both fell into an uneasy sleep.

Weeks went by and Elsa was still locked away in her room, avoiding Anna at all costs, only coming out for food when she thought she was asleep. This was nothing new to Anna. Her sister had suffered from depression for as long as she could remember, she would spend the majority of her time locked away, only coming out for family dinners at the request of their parents. She would eat very little and mostly just played with her food. She always kept her head down and rarely engaged in conversation. When she did she would only nod, or give single word answers. Anna tried countless times over the years to reach out to Elsa, she wanted to help her, she wanted her sister back. But Elsa just pushed her away. As the years went on Anna began to lose hope. She loved her sister dearly but couldn't handle the pain it caused her and the constant rejection stung. She started knocking less often, she no longer told Elsa about her day - not because she didn't want to - but she felt like maybe it was doing more harm than good. Surely it would be hurting Elsa to hear of all the exciting adventures she got up to and more often than not, the trouble that came with them. About a year ago she stopped knocking on Elsa's door altogether and she had barely seen hair nor hide of her sister since.

Three weeks ago, after thirteen years of isolation, on a Saturday evening, Anna and Elsa were at home whilst their parents were four days into a two-week cruise together. Anna was wondering aimlessly around the house. Her friends were all out, TV bored her and she was too restless to read. She found herself pacing back and forth in the hallway which their bedrooms led off. She kept glancing at her sister's door. She could see a dim light glowing under the crack and could hear what sounded like the rustling of paper. She cautiously made her way to the door, trying to be as quiet as she could. She pressed her ear to the wood and heard the scratching of a pencil against paper. She softly placed both hands to the door. Tracing the outlines of the blue snowflakes that had been delicately carved into the wood by her sister all those years ago. Resting her head against the grain she felt warm tears welling in her eyes. She squeezed them tight, trying to push past the pain and hurt.

"Elsa?" she whispered. "Please, just talk to me! I miss you, I need you! It's been a whole year since I saw you last, I barely remember what you look like any more, how you smell, the way your eyes shine when you smile." A pause "Remember when we were kids? All of those snowmen we used to make? Yours were always so perfect, you meticulously created each every single one like a work of art. Mine on the other hand... well you remember." A sigh this time "What do you sound like now? Do you still sing? You used to sing all the time, you had such a beautiful voice it always filled me with so much warmth. Do you still have that piano in your room? You used to play so well, it was truly magical. I haven't heard you in so many years Elsa. Please, please, just- just talk to me." The tears that she fought so hard to keep at bay now tumbled down her face, gathering on her chin and staining the top of her dress.

"Go away Anna"

Okay, that hurt- a lot. Anger rose from her belly, she felt hot, her head pounded, her hands trembled. Her fingers curled inwards and her nails dug into her palms. She slammed her fists into the door.

"NO!" she yelled, "No, I will not let you do this! Can you not see how much you're hurting me? Can't you see how much I miss you! I need you Elsa! I need my sister! You were my best friend, we had so much fun together! Why do you lock yourself in there? God, I can't take this!" Her whole body shook with rage, her vision was blurred and the skin on her hands stung from the splinters caused by the wood. "Elsa please, please I can't live like this anymore!"

A pause

"Then leave!" Elsa spat, her words felt tore through Anna, shocking her to her very core, it felt as though she'd been run through with a shard of ice. She stumbled back a step clutching her chest, she felt cold, her heart seemed to freeze, she could feel it cracking.

"What did I ever do to you?"

"Enough Anna" Elsa growled through gritted teeth.

"No! Why? Why do you shut me out? W-why do you shut the world out? WHAT ARE YOU SO AFRAID OF?!"

"I SAID ENOUGH!" Her sister bellowed, Anna could hear the sound of something smashing against the door, a glass or mug perhaps. She jumped back in fright, suddenly the door was ripped open and Elsa sprinted out pushing past Anna as she flew down the stairs. Anna chased Elsa down the dimly lit hall.

"Elsa! Elsa! Wait! Please!" Anna called for her sister, Elsa had reached the front door by the time had jumped off the last step. Pausing for just a second, Elsa looked up, tore it open and ran off into the night.

"Elsa stop!" Anna grabbed onto the door frame, desperately reaching out for her sister, the last she saw was a platinum blonde braid whipping out of sight.

She fell to her knees sobbing, her legs crumpled beneath her and her hands hit the ground. She had no idea how long she stayed in the doorway, she was so tired -both emotionally and physically- she felt drained. Her eyes had long since dried, tear tracks stained her cheeks but she couldn't find the will to move. So, she stayed in a heap in the doorway and waited for Elsa to come home. She had to come home, right? They had to talk through this, she needed her sister and she knew that no matter how much Elsa pushed her away, that deep down Elsa needed her too. It was a warm night out but Anna felt cold, she pushed herself up to sit against the door frame curling up in the foetal position with her head turned towards the street. Her vision started darkening, the streetlights became blurs and her head started drooping.

Anna jumped awake, something had startled her. Her head snapped up at the sound of the house phone ringing. She ignored it, whoever it was it could wait. She was in no state of mind to talk to anyone right now. But the phone just kept ringing and ringing. Feeling frustrated she dragged herself up, her body ached in protest from being in such an awkward position for so long. She stumbled to the counter and picked up the receiver.

"Hello?" Her throat was dry and hoarse from overuse. What she heard next sent her crashing to the floor. "No! No, no, no, no, no! It can't be! You- you've made some kind of mistake!" her voice cracked and quivered as fresh tears stung in her eyes.

"I'm terribly sorry Miss, there was a freak storm, the ship capsized and their bodies were found this morning."

Anna screamed in terror and pelted the phone at the wall, it smashed upon impact sending pieces flying across the room. "NO! NO! NO!" She cried over and over, her emotions were all over the place, she stood up and starting throwing everything within her reach. Glasses and plates were smashed to smithereens, papers flew through the air and cushions were ripped off the couch. She was panting, furious and devastated. The pain hurt her so much it felt physical. Then she saw it. A family photo that had been taken when the girls were young. Her mother and father stood in the middle, their arms wrapped around each other, they had big smiles on their faces- they looked happy. There in front of them was little Anna, she must have been about five, making Elsa eight. Her auburn hair was tied in her twin braids, her bangs resting neatly on her forehead. She wore an olive-green dress, embroidered with white flowers around the hem of the dress at her feet, reaching up to her knees. Hugging Anna in a tight embrace was Elsa. Her blonde hair was tied in a loose braid, she had a beautiful light blue dress on, it was similar to Anna's except instead of having flowers, it was decorated with snowflakes. The girls looked so happy in the photo, it was exactly how Anna remembered it. The sisters were obviously very close. Were very close. Were. With a swift swipe of her arm she sent the photo flying across the room "Mama! Papa!" she cried. Unable to cope with the grief Anna fell to the floor.

"Anna! Anna! Wake up! Wake up!" Anna began to regain consciousness, someone was crouching over her, a delicate hand clenched her shoulder, shaking her in an effort to rouse her. "Anna! Oh, my god, Anna, what happened?"

"E-Elsa?" Slowly her eyes began to open, everything looked blurry, the sun was now glaring into the room, she must have been out for hours. There was a throbbing pain at the back of her head. She tried to sit up but the room began to spin and she fell back down again.

"It's okay Anna, I got you." Elsa cradled Anna's head in her lap, tenderly pushing her bangs back.

Anna felt groggy, she tried to remember what happened and how she ended up on the floor. Then it all came flooding back. The memory of the phone call ripped through her soul, crushing her chest. She rolled off Elsa's lap, pushing herself up onto her hands and knees and heaved violently onto the floor. Elsa rubbed her back as her sister wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. She turned and looked at Elsa, tears streaming out of her eyes.

"M-Mama a-and P-Papa. Th-the b-boat." She sobbed, she was so wracked with grief that she couldn't even think coherently.

"W-what? Anna, t-tell me, please, Mama and Papa are f-fine r-right? They- they're just on holiday, th-they're coming b-back s-soon. Right?" Panic and fear rose within Elsa, her voice shook as she looked at Anna. Her hands trembled, tears welled in her eyes and Anna's face was one of utter despair.

Anna shook her head "S-s-storm. S-sunk. G-g-g-gone." She felt sick again, she pushed herself up and clumsily raced to the bathroom. She heard Elsa's screams coming from the living room. She cried out for their parents, over and over she repeated their names. Anna could hear the sound of Elsa running up the stairs, her bedroom door slamming and the unmistakable sound of items being thrown around the room. The girls stayed where they were for the rest of the day. Too emotionally distraught to move.

Two weeks later Anna buried their parents alone. Elsa once again locked herself away, unresponsive to Anna's pleas, her cries and calls for help. She needed her sister now more than ever, she was all Anna had left. She had never felt more isolated.

Anna slept outside her sister's bedroom door each night, she needed her close and since Elsa refused to even acknowledge her this was as good as she was going to get. Elsa had nightmares constantly. She would dream of her parent's death, their boat sinking beneath the waves. Sometimes they would be trapped below the deck, other times they'd float endlessly, desperately clinging to a piece of the wreckage. The worst dreams featured Anna, she had gone with their parents, she was drowning in the water, unable to swim, her hand extended calling out for Elsa to save her. But she was always too far away. No matter how hard she tried Elsa could never reach in time. She would wake up screaming her sister's name, sweat and tears soaking her pillow, her heart would be pounding and her body shaking. Anna would wake with a start, she could her the terror in her sister's voice as she yelled her name. Anna desperately wanted to get in the room to comfort her sister but the door was always locked.

The first night that Elsa screamed her name Anna had woken up in such a panic that she tried bashing the door in but only ended up severely bruising her shoulder and arm. Anna would call out to Elsa, reassuring her that she was okay, she was still here and wasn't going anywhere. It was killing Anna to know how much her sister was suffering and that there was nothing she could do to help. She felt so helpless, she had tried everything to get Elsa to open up, or even just to respond to her but it was all to no avail.

Four months after their parent's death Anna was at her wits end. Something needed to change, she couldn't go on living like this anymore. So, she devised a plan. She was going to get ready for bed as normal, turn off her lights and pretend to be asleep. She would wait up until she heard Elsa leave her room and then she'd steal herself across the hall and sneak into her sister's room. Her first attempt was a complete and utter failure. She had positioned herself by her door, laying down on the floor with her head facing the gap underneath so she could watch for the first sign of movement. Unfortunately, Elsa had had multiple nightmares the previous evening and Anna hadn't got much sleep. It was shortly after midnight that Anna drifted off in her position by the door.

Her second attempt started off according to plan, she managed to stay awake, at around one in the morning she heard Elsa's door open, she waited until the sound of her footsteps had died off before opening her bedroom door. Peering across the hall she noticed that Elsa's door was shut, as quietly as she could, she tiptoed across the floor, grasped the handle and began to turn the knob. Suddenly she heard Elsa's footsteps coming up the hall, losing her nerve she turned and fled back into her own room.

On the third night Anna was feeling confident. She knew she was going to be successful tonight. She wasn't feeling tired at all and she was ready. I was born ready! At eight she took a long shower, relaxing under the hot spray as she hummed softly to herself. She towelled off her hair, dressed in her pyjamas and went downstairs for a mug of hot chocolate. After savouring every single last drop of the heavenly drink, Anna rinsed out her mug and placed it in the dishwasher before heading up the stairs to her room.

"Goodnight Elsa." She called. No reply as usual but tonight it didn't bother her. Tonight, she knew she was going to get to see her sister again. She walked into her room, shut the door and strode over to her bed. She pulled back the covers and sat down briefly. After half an hour, she switched off the light and as quietly as she could she made her way back to her spot on the floor.

Three agonising hours later her ears pricked up at the sound of the metallic lock clicking over, the door squeaked slightly as it was slowly pried open. A pause- and then the shuffling of slipper clad feet drifted down the hallway. Through the gap under the door Anna could see the light coming from Elsa's room. She's left the door open! She thought. She waited for another minute, the soft clinking of a glass, followed by the running of a tap told Anna that Elsa was in the kitchen. She stood up, her heart began to drum in her chest, her sweaty palms grasped the knob and slowly turned. She opened the door an inch, pressing her ear to the gap, listening for any signs of movement. She deemed it to be safe and slipped out into the hall. She took a deep breath to steady herself and slid into her sister's room.

It was just as she remembered it. The walls were painted a pale blue with a snowflake boarder around the top, they drifted down like a gentle snowfall. Against the wall to the left was a queen-size four poster bed with white lace drapes and a dark blue bedspread. At the back of the room sat a large oak desk, it was littered with scrunched up pieces of paper and drawing implements. On the wall above the desk hung an exquisite artwork of grand palace sitting atop of a large snow-capped mountain. The palace had been coloured in light shades of blue and appeared to be made ice. It was incredibly detailed and seemed to have simply risen up from the mountainside itself.

Turning to her right Anna spied her sister's beloved piano. The girls had spent many hours together in that very spot. Elsa would play magnificently and they would sing together. Elsa tried to teach Anna how to play over the years but she was too impatient and would often get carried away, hitting the wrong keys and getting frustrated. Besides, Elsa was so perfect at playing that it would have been a crime for anyone else to even try and compete with her.

The nostalgia of the room hit Anna and tears began to well in her eyes. The sound of the toilet flushing brought Anna out of her stupor and she quickly sat on the edge of Elsa's bed, her body facing the door. Her heart was pounding in her chest, threatening to burst right out and flop about on the floor. Her eyes flicked nervously from the door to the ground and back up again, her fingers twisting around themselves in her lap. She wriggled in her seat, her foot tapping against the floor. She heard Elsa's footsteps draw closer, sucked in a deep breath and held it.

Elsa's form appeared in the doorway, her head looking down to the floor. She was hunched over slightly, giving the impression that she was carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders. Time seemed to slow right down as Elsa shrugged into the room, turned, shut the door and locked it once more. She turned to the bed, took three steps and screamed.

"ANNA!" Elsa clutched at her heart with one hand and the other flew up to cover her mouth. Her faced was contorted in shock as she locked eyes with her sister. Anna stood up from the bed, her hands raised in front of her.

"Please Elsa, I just want to talk. Please don't run away again, please don't lock me out. I need you and I know you need me too."

Elsa's eyes flicked around the room, desperately searching for another escape route. She looked back to Anna, her teal eyes pleading with her sister. She didn't know what to do, she wasn't ready for this. She backed up until she hit the door, her hand reached around behind her, searching for the knob.

"No Elsa! Please don't go! You can't keep running from me, we need to fix this. Look, whatever it is that I did to you I'm sorry okay! God, Elsa, we were so close. We can be like that again!" Anna stood up from the bed, she took a few steps towards her sister, her hands still raised to show she wasn't a threat. Elsa peered up at Anna, her icy blue eyes grew wide with fear as she flashed back to that day.

It was the first snowfall of winter, Anna had woken Elsa up early that morning, the sun hadn't even started to rise. "Elsa! Wake up, wake up!" she told Anna to go back to sleep, "I just can't! The sky's awake, so I'm awake, so we have to play!" she had proclaimed, begging Elsa to build a snowman and they snuck out of the house before their parents could wake up. She and Anna were out playing in the snow together at the park across the road. They were pretending Elsa had the power to control the ice and snow, they were having so much fun. Anna sat on the park bench, swinging her legs and giggling, her hands pressed into her cheeks pulling a funny face as Elsa created a snowman in her image, Olaf, they called him. The playground was surrounded by large rocks, each one taller than the last- just like oversized stepping stones. Anna climbed onto the lowest one and proceeded to jump from one boulder to the next whilst Elsa shot her arms out, pretending to create them from snow. But the stones were slippery and Anna was clumsy, she never thought ahead, she would get caught up in the excitement of their games and would rush forward. Anna was now over two meters in the air, "catch me!" she squealed as she leaped to the next boulder. "Wait! Anna slow down!" Elsa warned but it was too late. Anna slipped on the snow, she tumbled to the ground, her head hitting the ice. Elsa raced over, cradling Anna's head in her lap. "Anna!" she cried. "MAMA, PAPA!" Elsa called out for their parents, she started sobbing. "You're okay Anna, I got you." Their parents came sprinting across the road "Elsa what have you done?" Her father scolded.

Elsa turned her back to Anna, looking down to the ground she wrapped her arms around herself, hugging her body. She couldn't tell Anna that it was all her fault, that she had given her the idea despite knowing just how accident prone her sister was. She was the reason why Anna ended up in a coma for a whole month, she was the reason why her sister suffered memory loss from that day and why Anna now had a scar along the back of her skull. Elsa never forgave herself, she could never forgive herself or allow Anna to learn the truth. Anna would surely hate her for it, she would think she was some kind of a monster and that was only the tip of the iceberg.

"Just let it go Anna! Please! Just leave me be! Yes, I'm alone but I'm alone and-"

"What? Free?" Anna scoffed. "No Elsa!" she was getting frustrated now, what ever happened was in the past, Elsa could stop beating herself up over it! She needed to somehow help her sister through this. "Gah! We're just going around in circles. Look, you don't have to tell me why you've shut yourself away for all of these years but Elsa, we only have each other now, It's just you and me."

"I'm just trying to protect you."

"You don't have to protect me! I'm not afraid!"

Elsa sighed, her sister was nothing if not persistent. She knew that Anna wasn't going to leave her alone anymore and as much as she was absolutely terrified of telling Anna the truth, she knew that at some stage she was going to have to answer Anna's questions.

She felt so torn, she wanted to protect her sister from herself, she had almost cost Anna her life and the guilt of that was eating away at Elsa. But she also knew, that deep down, she yearned for all those years they'd lost. That she desperately wanted to mend the icy break and move on from the past. And now that her sister was right there, in the same room as her, it became so much harder to push her away. The thing was that she didn't know how to do that without explaining to Anna why she shut her out in the first place. She took in a deep shuddering breath, held it for a minute and exhaled.

"Okay." She whispered. "Okay." Slowly she turned back to Anna, she was trembling all over, her hands twisting in front of her, her palms were sweaty and her eyes kept darting about the room.

Time seemed to come to a standstill as she made her way over to the bed. She sat down on the edge, facing the headboard with one leg pulled up under her body. Her fingers nervously picked at the loose threads on the quilt. She felt the bed sag slightly as Anna's body shifted into her peripheral vision. They sat there in silence for a few minutes whilst Elsa gathered her thoughts. Tenderly, Anna reached out to grasp at Elsa's fingers. Instinctively she pulled her hand away, the physical contact terrified her.

"Elsa, it's okay. You don't have to tell me, not yet, not until you're ready." She tried to reassure her sister, she desperately wanted Elsa to open up to her, but she knew that pushing her, before she was ready, may only drive Elsa further away. "Elsa, please, just look at me," Elsa's gaze firmly remained on her twitching fingers. "Please."

With a long sigh, Elsa looked up from the bedspread and met her sisters gaze. Anna's eyes were pleading but they too shone with understanding and love. Timidly Elsa reached out with a shaky hand, her fingertips barely grazing the top of her sister's palm. She paused for a moment before settling it on top of Anna's.

"I- I can't tell you that Anna," Her sister looked defeated, disappointment shone in her eyes.

Anna broke the contact, she wrapped her arms around her torso and stared at the floor. Elsa placed a finger under Anna's jaw and gently tilted her head up again. She waited until the redhead's eyes flicked back up and met hers, she just hoped that her sister could see the warmth within them.

"Not yet, I'm not ready, but when I am, I promise that I'll tell you. I just- I just need time, to gather my thoughts and figure out how to go about this. But when I'm ready to talk ill come to you okay?"

Anna's gaze softened, "Okay." She whispered. Cautiously Anna unwound herself and slowly reached out to her sister, capturing her in a tender embrace. She felt Elsa's body tense within her arms for a moment before she relaxed and returned the hug. Soft tears rolled down their cheeks, their heartbeats slowing as they stayed like that for what felt like forever.