Chapter 24

Holly spent a long night at Haldir's side. A messenger had been dispatched to the Golden Wood to bring the news of Haldir's injury to Rúmil and Orophin. At break-neck speed, the messenger could arrive within three days, she had been told. She was unsure if they would simply send word back, or travel to Imladris themselves. She hoped for the latter, as she was feeling desperately alone.

Holly took Haldir's hand in her own and traced the callouses and lines on his palm as she had done so many times before. He used to close his hand around hers and brush a kiss on her knuckles when she did so. This morning, his hand lay limply in hers.

There was a soft knock at the door, and Holly turned to see who was there. The twins and Arwen stood in the doorway. Elladan and Elrohir looked ashen at the sight of Haldir laid upon the small bed in the surgery.

"Father says he has been poisoned." Elladan breathed. Holly understood their distress after hearing about Celebrían and her encounter with orcs. "We were unsure, but we suspected as much."

Holly felt a light hand drop onto her shoulder and looked up to see Elrohir's sympathetic eyes, "He will be well, Holly. Fear not."

Holly wanted to laugh bitterly but bit back the urge. She did not have the same faith that these elves seemed to have in their fates. People died, people suffered, it was a fact of life. She sighed, "I wish I shared your confidence."

It was Arwen who spoke next, taking a seat beside her. "The Valar do not act needlessly, Holly. Perhaps it is not this way in your homeland, but we must have faith."

"You forget that I lived as a mortal. In my world, and in this world, there is pain and suffering and there is death. Life is cruel and fleeting. I find it difficult to believe that the Valar would save Haldir simply because I wanted them to. Who am I to them to make such a request?"

Arwen seemed slightly taken aback by her words but said nothing. Her expression soon changed into one of sympathy. Elladan and Elrohir were silent, but observed her closely.

"Indeed, it was insensitive of me to belittle your fears, Holly. You are correct, it is easy to forget that you have not been among us forever. But the Eldar are the most cherished children of the Valar, there is hope yet, for our Haldir. He may not be able to show it, but your presence at his side will be of great comfort to him." Arwen said softly. Holly felt her anger dissipate almost immediately.

"I'm sorry. I am not myself and I am feeling very hopeless at the moment." she said quietly, unable to meet her friend's eyes, "I have never known a life here without Haldir. He found me, he saved me, he gave me a home and gave me purpose. I found more than I could ever have hoped for in a life with him, and it had only just begun. I feel as though something is being stolen from me and I am powerless to stop it. I can feel him now, falling further and further away from me."

Arwen nodded in understanding, but found she could muster no comforting response.

"We will leave you for now. Promise me you will rest and eat, even for just a moment. Haldir would be displeased to awaken and find you withered away." Elladan said, a ghost of a smile on his lips. Holly matched his expression briefly before it fell again.

They took their leave and Holly was, once again, alone.

"Ada, I must speak with you." said Arwen, pushing her way through the door to her father's study. He sat, as usual, behind his desk overlooking his various correspondence. Lord Elrond looked up and motioned for her to enter.

"What is it, iell?" he asked. Arwen took the seat and leaned in closer to her father,

"It is Holly, Ada. She despairs over Haldir."

Lord Elrond furrowed his brow, "Her upset is to be expected. It was my understanding that she and the Marchwarden had become close."

Arwen nodded, "Indeed, but I fear it is more than that. She spoke today of her lack of faith in the Valar, and her hopelessness over Haldir's fate. She fears he will be taken from her."

Elrond looked pensive for a moment as he turned over these words in his head. "She is unaccustomed to our ways. Mortals do not share our conviction, iell. They are short-lived and their lives are often brutish and unsparing. They anticipate the worst for they have seen many trials in their short time. They are not gifted the opportunity for time to heal their wounds, as we are."

"Yes, but Holly is no longer mortal. I fear her despair will overcome her. You know how the Eldar suffer anguish. I fear she may fade."

Elrond stiffened at this. He understood all too well the power of anguish. "I will think on this. I cannot take action before conferring with the Marchwarden's brothers. They must be included in whatever decision is made. Perhaps word from them will lift Holly's spirits."

"We can only hope they arrive quickly enough." Arwen said in agreement. She took her leave of her father then, and returned to her chambers, thinking all the while of her friend.

Holly returned to her room for only a moment, to change her clothes and bathe. She allowed Arwen to bring her food in the surgery. She had little appetite but nibbled on some fruit and cheese. She noticed that Arwen had also brought her a small cup of strong wine.

Fortification? She wondered and took a sip.

She looked at Haldir's face and he seemed restful. He had not yet moved and she yearned for any sign that he would awaken. She moved closer to his face and searched his expression,

"Haldir, can you hear me?" she whispered, letting her fingers trail over his cheek. "Please, if you can hear me, do something. Anything."

Her voice was pleading but he did not respond. He remained still and grew more lifeless by the moment. Holly felt the tears well up in her eyes and brushed them away, "I don't know how to live in this world without you."

Four days went by with no word from Lothlórien. Lord Elrond assured Holly that word would come.

Holly spent every sleeping and waking moment by Haldir's bedside, willing him to awaken. His physical condition was now stable, Lord Elrond had informed her. His wounds were healing quickly. Unlike the conscious Haldir, the sleeping Haldir did not push his limits and exacerbate his wounds with his reluctance to rest and set aside his duties for the sake of his health. Sleeping Haldir was a model patient who never left his bed.

Lord Elrond began to grow concerned for his pupil. She took no interest in anything but the ailing Marchwarden. She had forsaken her studies, her research, her friends, to sit by his side. Elrond re called the days following Celebrían's attack, and remembered feeling much the same. Only his children had given him purpose in those dark days, but Holly had no family to pull her from her desperation.

Holly began to sleep fitfully. They had moved a cot into the surgery so she may rest with Haldir, but she could find no respite. Here, at least, Elrond could help.

"Holly, drink this. It will help you rest. You have not been sleeping. The vigor of the Eldar is strong, but not so strong as to sustain you completely. You must sleep and eat. Here," he said, passing her a cup of what appeared to be tea. She eyed it dubiously and did not take it,

"I don't want to sleep." she whispered, "When I sleep I dream of his death."

Elrond pressed the cup into her hand, "You will not dream. You will rest."

She took the cup and downed the tea in three quick gulps. She sat on the chair beside Haldir's bed and Eldrond took his leave. After what felt like a few moments, she drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

When the twins found her, asleep in the chair, they lifted her gently into the cot and removed her slippers. Pulling a sheet over her, they each pressed a kiss to her brow, wishing her peace, even for just a few hours.

When Holly awoke, she felt refreshed, her mind was reeling. She turned over in her cot and saw Haldir, unchanged. She sighed and swung her legs over the side of the small bed and stood carefully, stretching the sleep from her body. She sat in the chair at his side and admired his face. His strong features looked utterly at peace in his deep sleep. His arrogant brow rested serenely – there was no attitude, no teasing there. She leaned over and pressed her cheek against his, relishing the warmth of his skin that told her he was still alive, still there with her.

She breathed in his scent, barely noticeable beneath the scent of poultices and salves. She could hear his pulse, and felt it as she pressed her hand to the side of his neck, holding him to her. A thought came to her mind then. She had only tried it a handful of times, and she had only succeeded at making the connection once. But surely it was worth trying? Surely Elrond had tried...but perhaps if she could see what ailed him, she could help figure out how to cure him...

Holly pushed these thoughts out of her mind. If she was going to do this, she needed to focus. Not moving from her position, she pressed the side of her face closer into Haldir's, telling herself he wouldn't mind. Not if it saved his life. Inside her mind, she felt her own fëa glow and swirl. She visualized it untangling itself from around her core and sending streams of light, like branches reaching for the sky, outward. She envisioned them reaching for Haldir, reaching to touch his fëa. She saw his fëa in her mind then and she nearly recoiled at the sight.

As if shrouded and chained in darkness, she could barely see the light. It poked through in places, but hardly enough to reach. Fearing the consequences of pushing too far, she withdrew her fëa and severed the connection.

Her eyes flew open and she moved away from Haldir as though she had been burned. She sat back in the chair and let the tears fall freely from her eyes.

"Now you know what darkness he faces, Holly." Elrond said, sadly. He was standing in the doorway. Holly did not know how long he had been there and how much he had seen, but she did not hide her face from him when she spoke,

"What can I do for him? I don't know what to do." she sobbed. Elrond came to stand beside her,

"We can only attempt to free him from the darkness, but I will not attempt it without consulting Rúmil and Orophin. It is not without great risk, and they must be made aware."

Holly looked up at him, with carefully guarded hope in her eyes, "So there is something, then?"

Elrond nodded, "Yes, there is one thing."

Just then, there was a sharp knock on the door and Elladan flew in, not waiting for an answer, "Ada, the party from Lothlórien has arrived."

Holly jumped from her seat and pushed past Elladan, making her way as quickly as she could to the gates. She could hear Elrond speaking with Elladan, but then she was too far away to hear them. She took the steps two at a time down to the archway that marked the entryway to the Last Homely House. There she saw two broad ellyn dismounting their horses, golden hair fluttering around their shoulders in the breeze,

"Rúmil! Orophin!" she called to them. Orophin spun around quickly, just quickly enough to catch her as she tumbled into his arms, "I'm so glad you're here."

Orophin returned the embrace and released her, only for her to throw herself onto Rúmil and bestow him with a similarly rib-crushing hug.

"Holly, I am glad you are well. Where is Haldir?" Rúmil asked, holding her at arms' length and surveying her appearance. It was plain to him that she suffered. Her skin was losing its light and her eyes, normally alight with amusement and good nature, were dulled and red-rimmed.

"Follow me, I will take you to him." she answered, walking ahead of them. Elladan and Elrond were making their way down the steps as she guided the brothers up to the surgery. Orophin greeted them politely in passing, but was waved off by Elrond, who told them formalities could wait, and to see to their brother. Elrond requested that Elladan tend to their horses.

"He has not yet woken, not even for a moment." Holly said, wishing there was more she could do to prepare them for the sight of their brother, prostrate on the surgery bed. She opened the door gently and let them in, hanging back in the doorway so as to give them space. They knelt by his bed and whispered quietly to each other. Holly did not listen, not wanting to trespass on their moment. She snuck quietly out of the room and sat on the bench outside, waiting for one of them to leave.

That is where Arwen found her a little while later.

"Ada has requested that I fetch you and Haldir's brothers. He wishes to speak with you regarding what steps are to be taken."

Holly nodded in understanding, "I will get them."

She stood up and entered the room. Orophin was sitting in the chair, eyes fixed on his older brother. Rúmil was standing in the corner, stone-faced. Neither looked up as she re-entered,

"Rúmil, Orophin," she began. She met their eyes then and gave them a sad smile, "Lord Elrond wishes to speak with us. Arwen will stay with Haldir."

Without a word, they followed her out of the room, passing Arwen as she entered. Orophin fell in line beside Holly, and Rúmil walked behind them. It was Orophin who broke their silence,

"Holly, what has happened between you and Haldir?" he asked, stopping her for a moment. Rúmil made to walk on, but Holly stopped him with a hand on his arm.

"We have grown closer." she began. She meant to continue, but Rúmil interrupted her,

"You may speak honestly with us, Holly. Haldir would not have you hide the truth. Your eyes betray you, at any rate. It is plain that you have been crying for days."

Holly gave him a grim smile but nodded her head in acquiescence, "We have begun...courting? We are romantic? I don't know what you would call it, but things have changed. I would tell you more, but we haven't the time."

Orophin could not suppress the smile that graced his features. Holly's heart nearly broke at the sight – he looked so much like Haldir. "Finally! I am happy for you both. Eruana will be pleased."

Holly could barely hold in the tears that welled up in her eyes or suppress the catch in her throat, "Don't say that. How can you be happy for me when I've finally found him and now he is being ripped away from me."

The brothers fixed her with a sad look. Rúmil took her hand in his, "He lives, Holly. There is hope."

Holly pressed onward toward Elrond's study, "Everyone keeps saying that."

"We have a letter from the Lady Galadriel." Orophin said, offering the letter to Lord Elrond, who took it and scanned it quickly. His features were inscrutable as he glossed over the words and folder the paper.

"There is hope." he said quietly. His eyes turned toward Holly, then, "You have seen the darkness that surrounds Haldir's fea, Holly."

Holly nodded dumbly, not understanding. Elrond continued,

"Did you attempt to free it from the blackness you encountered?" Elrond asked. Holly shook her head,

"No, I knew not how to do it."

Elrond nodded. "I will show you. But you will not be enough on your own. Rúmil, Orophin, you will have to lend your fëas to the task as well. This will require more than who is close with the Marchwarden. His fëa must be drawn to yours, else it will not respond. This is old magic, but Galadriel has given me reason to believe it may work."

Holly, Rúmil and Orophin shared a look and agreed.

"Whatever it takes.", Holly said, nodding vigorously. She felt renewed by this information. If the Lady Galadriel though it was worth trying, then it must be. She allowed a faint glimmer of hope to nestle its way into her heart.

"For our brother, we would do anything." Orophin added. Elrond stood from his desk,

"Very well. You will rest, and we will reconvene at daybreak in the surgery. I will leave you for now. Holly here is familiar enough with Imladris to see to whatever you will need. A room has been prepared for you beside hers and Haldir's quarters."

They followed him out of the study. Holly motioned for the brothers to follow her down to the visitor's quarters. She stopped in front of her own door, "Would you like to come in? I can explain a little of what's changed since we left you."

"Have you any wine?" Orophin asked, dryly. Holly grinned,

"Why yes, yes I do."

"I could use a drink.", Rúmil agreed.

She led them into her small chamber and they sat in the comfortable chairs in the sitting area. Holly sat a few feet away on her bed, as there were only two chairs. She poured them each a nearly overflowing cup of the strong wine Arwen had taken to leaving her (somehow that elleth knew just how the elves of Lórien dealt with their problems).

She spoke in Sindarin for Rúmil's benefit. In truth, her Sindarin had improved so much, she no longer struggled overmuch,

"So where would you like for me to begin?" she asked. Rúmil took a big gulp of his wine and set it down on the arm of the chair,

"How long have you known you are madly in love with my brother?" he asked with a teasing smile. Holly dropped her head into her hands,hiding the heat that was growing on her face,

"Somewhere between leaving Lórien and arriving in Imladris?" she offered, not really knowing the answer, "Perhaps before? I don't know. I think I had been denying it for so long, I couldn't recognise how I really felt. During our travels, he brought me to Eregion. He said it was my namesake..."

Her words drifted off there and she found she could not complete the thought. She hoped desperately that they could return there, one day, together. The brothers seemed to sense her feelings and they did not press her. Orophin took another sip of wine before saying,

"I am no expert on matters of the heart, but Eruana insisted you were perfect for each other. She said you were Haldir's match in every way. She all but predicted that you would return from Imladris completely in love with each other. She said all that time alone, with nothing but your suppressed feelings, it was bound to come out."

Holly laughed for the first time in days, thinking of her friend who was must wiser than she was, "If you told me that Eruana and Lady Galadriel conspired against us to sent us to Imladris and nudge this whole thing along, I think I would believe you."

"She will be pleased to call you sister. I speak for my brother and myself when I saw that we are." Rúmil said, in a rare moment of sincerity. Holly gave them a sad smile in response and finished her wine.

They talked a little while longer, of Holly and Haldir's journey. She told them of the orc attack, of her studies in Imladris. They spoke of their journey and updates from the Golden Wood. Feeling heartened by the presence of her friends, and feeling not quite as alone as she had felt in days, they decided to retire, hoping that their actions tomorrow would bring Haldir back to them.

A/N: Lol,hi. Surprise? Quarantine boredom got to me. Enjoy! I won't make any promises about updating. I had a baby! So I'm pretty busy. Maybe I'll write some more this week :)