My Feeble Voice

Summary: Hiroaki has a heart-to-heart with his granddaughter following Yamato and Sora's troubled divorce. One-shot. Happy father's day!

Warnings: None, some cursing

A/N 1: Takes place sometime after "Snuff", but before "Adventure V!".

A/N 2: The title comes from this quote: "Grandfather, Great Spirit, once more behold me on earth and lean to hear my feeble voice." - Black Elk

A/N 3: Happy father's day. Appreciate the parents you still have, while you have them.

"Thanks for coming by. It's hard to make it out there when I'm called in to suddenly look at a possible life or death hazard and Jou is working triple shifts at the ER."

Hiroaki smiled. He thought he'd never live to see his son finally working at JAXA, engineering the next confusing space technology, or that Yamato would be happily married to a brain surgeon.

Maybe he was pushing his seventies, but he was still alive and kicking, somehow. He retired to the country in his mother's Shimane home and the five hour drive was nothing to sneeze at, but if there was anything he loved more than Yamato, it was his grandchildren: Tsukuyomi, Hanako, and he supposed, Aiko, too now.

"I already told you I don't mind," he insisted.

"Just... thanks. Don't feel like you have to do this to make anything up. I know how you are," Yamato replied.

Hiroaki bit back a stinging pain as he watched his son leave for work. It reminded him too much of his late ex-wife and when he would head off at all hours for the latest story. In his old age, he regretted working so much, but it was all he knew. His father had been a hard worker his entire life and the Navy didn't teach him anything less. After being so self absorbed, in his eyes, he wasn't sure how Yamato ever found it in his heart to forgive him, especially after everything that happened.

The door locking woke Hiroaki from his life reflections. He looked around the apartment; nearly twice the size of the one he'd raised his family in. The place was sparkling clean—something Hiroaki definetly didn't teach Yamato, something the blond probably learned out of necessitity more than anything.

He finally had the family he always wanted, deserved.

He was still kicking himself for opening his mouth and putting the entire Ishida-Takenouchi marriage in turmoil, but the sound of Aiko ordering Tsuku awake distracted him.

Hiroaki took a seat on the couch. This wasn't his first time babysitting and he knew the kids were self-sufficient enough. He thought about reading a book and looked at the far wall, a tall shelf full of medical texts and outer space books. The entire bottom row was music related with autobiographies, how-to-play books, and guitar enthusiast magazines.

He grabbed one of the magazines. Flipping through, he saw Yamato's old bass and sighed. Hiroaki really wished his son hadn't smashed it in his final years of high school in a drunken rage. He loved that thing.

"Grandpa!" cried Tsuku. He rushed over and knocked the breath out of the old man. Still a heavy smoker, he didn't have much to begin with.

"Did your Dad tell you guys I'm watching you two today?"

"Yeah! Aiko got a new puzzle!"

"Oh, did he?" Hiroaki asked with a smile and raised eyebrow. Last time Aiko had a new puzzle, it took up the entire living room floor. This eventually lead to a game of the "floor being lava" to not destroy it before Aiko could show his father.

Hiroaki shook his head. He wasn't sure what he had expected out of Yamato's marriage to Sora. As far as he remembered until that night, Sora had been a kind and strong woman. Then, Hiroaki met Toshiko and could see why things went down the drain. Sora had always reminded Hiroaki of his ex-wife in that strong, independent woman kind of way, and for Yamato, a less than savory kind of way, but... Jou was something else.

Being gay was never an issue. Yamato being bisexual was never an issue. It was such a silly, waste-of-time thing to get in fights about. Hiroaki was surprised that Takeru was only recently coming to terms with accepting it, since Natsuko had never expressed concern about it. Then, she desperately wanted Yamato to love her again, and alas, that would never happen now.

But Jou... Hiroaki hadn't remembered much about him after Yamato's suicide attempt. He remembered seeing the two talking during VenomVamdemon's revival and a few times when Jou would visit... they seemed like good friends. Hiroaki never got the impression of anything more, but that didn't bother him. If anything, it was a sign of how well things were to become.

Whispers of Yamato insisting, "I didn't sleep with her Dad! Why would I; I can only see M... Natsuko. I promise I don't remember anything!"

Hiroaki had looked into Toshiko's face and to Sora. She didn't look sure and Yamato had been adamant. Hiroaki wished part of him had stepped in, but the truth was... he didn't really believe Yamato then. The horrible truth was Yamato had been right and Sora's mother had been right. He didn't remember anything, but the two had...

"I'm depressing myself," Hiroaki sighed. At this, Tsuku broke his hug and frowned.

"Don't be sad, grandpa. I'm sure Aiko-niisan will MOVE HIS ASS!"

Hiroaki laughed and waved his finger at the red headed pre-teen. Tsukuyomi jumped down and rushed down the hall.

Hanako yelped as her younger brother rushed past and then stumbled out of the hallway rubbing sleepy eyes. She reminded him of Yamato as a teenager, with sharp blue eyes and long, blonde hair. Her nightshirt was growing short as she aged and Hiroaki made a note to get her more for Christmas in the back of his aging mind. "Hello, grandpa."

"Hey there, Hanako-chan."

"Mm."

Hiroaki turned back to the magazine. He honestly wasn't sure how Jou or Yamato raised a young woman. She was reaching that age where the conspiracies of the trial and what happened to her father in his youth would begin to make sense... and that worried him.

"How are you, Hana?" he asked, not looking up from the magazine.

She went into the kitchen and grabbed a bowl, cereal, milk. She looked so much like her father. Hiroaki hoped karma wouldn't be a bitch to his son, in this matter. She didn't answer for some time. When she put the milk back in the fridge and the boys' laughter signaled the household was awake, she responded:

"I miss Mama."

Hiroaki hated the irony. He had begged Yamato to admit those words his entire life and now his daughter was freely offering them up under just as horrible circumstance. He wasn't sure what to say, so he spoke bluntly. "She'll have you kids next weekend."

"Grandpa..." she whispered. "Can we talk?"

Hiroaki's eyes widened. "Uh, s-sure."

Hanako brought her cereal over and plunked it on the coffee table. She sat on the floor and stared at the bowl. Hiroaki knew to be patient... kids would speak when they wanted to. They were just like adults in that way; you couldn't force it.

"When you divorced grandma," she began. "did you hate her?"

"Of course not." Despite what had happened, even if Natsuko had been fully to blame, he could never hate her. He loved her. However, Hiroaki wouldn't lie; Yamato probably hated Sora more than he hated his mother and that was a feat in itself.

"Momma hates Dad now, so... is that why she's getting remarried?"

This was the first Hiroaki heard of that. He didn't have many memories of Yutaka except when his name was mixed with a slew of curses after late night band practices and Yamato came home smelling like gasoline.

"Sometimes, Hanako..."

"Don't start with that," she snapped. "My parents hate each other because of me, don't they?"

"No. Hanako, no. I know everyone keeps telling you that, but it's the truth, no matter how much you want to feel responsible. What happened between your parents has nothing to do with you. If anything, I'm probably more to blame."

"...you blame yourself, Grandpa?"

Hiroaki paused. He leaned over the table and pulled an ashtray over. He lit a cigarette as he thought about what to say next. The truth. "Yes, I do, a little. I wasn't the best father to your father."

"But Daddy loves you."

Hiroaki knew that in the depths of his heart, but still his fatherly pride prompted him, "He does?"

"He always talks about how because... like, because you always loved him, Dad will always love me."

"That's a good thing, isn't it?"

"You shouldn't feel bad for things that aren't your fault, Grandpa."

"Well, these things aren't your fault either, Hanako."

Hanako managed a smile. Was that the first time Hiroaki saw her smile, ever? She then spoke again as her cereal turned soggy: "I feel bad for Aiko, who doesn't have a Mom anymore. I shouldn't be so selfish... I have a Mom, even if I don't get to see her that much."

"...that's a good way to look at it. Promise your grandpa something, Hanako?"

She shot up, blinking.

Hiroaki continued: "Don't hate your mother. She loves you. She just shows it in ways that make things difficult. She'll always love you. She doesn't blame you."

"...thanks, Grandpa."