Chapter 6: Night Errand

"Are you a complete idiot?"

And the look of surprise on his face told her that he most certainly was.

Morgana took the blanket from Merlin's hands and began folding it correctly. "You know, I thought you were just a half-wit, but now I know the truth." And she pushed the folded blanket his chest. He caught it. "You are a 'no-wit'." Morgana walked away. Breath in, breath out. She leaned on her bedframe, watching him.

"I-..." And he set the blanket with the satchel they had been packing. "I don't understand."

"Oh really?" She set her hands on her hips. He really was clueless. "It's too dangerous for you."

He opened his mouth, closed it again, then looked down to the ground. "I'm the one who brought him here. This isn't your respon-"

"Responsibility?" Morgana interrupted. He really wasn't saying anything of worth. "Yes, well, I outrank you. Ward of the King," And she pointed to herself. "Lowly servant." Then pointed to Merlin. "So, he is my responsibility. Besides, what would happen if you were caught?"

He didn't open his mouth to answer this time. His lips were a thin, white line and he folded his arms. Good. He knew it was a rhetorical question after all.

"You would be executed. That is what would happen. And so would the boy."

Morgana watched Merlin's eyes flicker to the druid boy who lay in the alcove still, but awake and eating breakfast hungrily. He was propped up with Morgana's entire supply of down blankets for winter. Her heart had soared that dawn when she found that his fever had broken. Merlin's spell really had worked. She would have to learn it…

She caught herself in that thought. Her? Learning magic? Every time she considered it some, strange floaty sensation overtook her. It was now a thing she could do. It was a thing she could always do. That was a comforting thought. Somehow.

Morgana walked forward and picked up the heavy satchel that Merlin had brought with him that morning. It was loaded with supplies for a journey. A journey to the druids. And she set the bag on her bed. Away from him.

"The stakes are much less higher if I am caught." Morgana finished. "I will smuggle him out of the castle."

"I can't let you do this."

"And what are you going to do to stop me?"

Merlin walked over to her little table and sat down. "I don't know." He ran a hand through his black hair. "I'm not going to fight you."

She felt herself frown and think over these words. Were they fighting? This was just a conversation. "Then it is settled." She would have to tell Gwen what was happening. Poor girl. She might not take it well. Morgana's memory of Gwen's imprisonment for witchcraft some months ago grazed by. She let it pass, wincing. Gwen would just have to understand. "I will leave tonight after-"

"No."

"I will, and you cannot-"

"Morgana-"
"The boy is-"

"Stop!"

Morgana's teeth clicked shut. Merlin held his head in his hands. Shuddering. She had a sudden flashback to her dream from a few nights ago.

"Would you just listen?" He looked up, eyes red rimmed, dark bags under his eyes. "For a moment?"

She took a deep breath and nodded. Whatever he was about to say did not matter. If he was executed, she would be losing the only person that knew her. Their eyes met. He knew the real her. She would not risk that. It simply did not make sense to risk it.

Morgana nodded.

A breath. She watched him breathe. Wipe his eyes. Another breath.

He looked straight at her and cleared his throat. "The boy, he called me 'Emrys'."

Emrys? That was...

He continued. "It's the name you heard in your dream about me, Morgana. The boy knows it."

It was strange. But it did not really mean anything. "Maybe he overheard us talking. We were discussing the dream right next to him." Morgana shrugged.

"No, I think he knows it. And I want to know why."

She shook her head. "You cannot go. It's not safe."

"It's not safe for you either!" He bit back. "You don't understand. I haven't been safe for my entire life!" A shuddering breath. "I know what that feels like. You don't."

Morgana felt as though she had been slapped. She opened her mouth but no words would come. She tried again. Nothing. For the first time, she did not have a retort.

A pause. One that gaped between them. She could practically taste it.

Merlin finally spoke again, relieving the silence. "I want to take him so I can ask the druids about that name. I need to know. I think it's…" He trailed off a moment, scratching his head. "I think it's about me."

"Merlin…" She started, but did not know what to say.

Morgana sighed and looked away, away to the floor, the window, the druid boy in her blankets. Anywhere, but Merlin's face. He was crying. She was not sure how to go about giving him some privacy. So she just turned away. Despite what he wanted, it was still idiotic. If he was caught… Her heart's fibers twisted painfully again. No, do not think about it again. The gleam of an axe. A deep, thick, swish through the air.

But he was still trying to understand himself. Like her. Morgana slowly rubbed her hand; it was still vaguely sore from when she had slapped him the other night. She was still trying to understand. So together, they would make sure he found his answers. Together, they would not let Merlin get caught. If he did… Best not to think about it.

"Okay." Morgana turned back to him. "But we work together."
"What?" Merlin looked up, sniffing. He had been staring at the floor. Silent and still.

"You are right, you should go. But I will help you."

"Are you-"
She stopped him, picking up the satchel she had taken and setting it on the table before him. "No arguments. I want to help. But, I will stay here."

Merlin nodded again, silently.

"Merlin?" And she sat down in a chair beside him. "What is your plan?" And when he looked up, she smiled at him.

He tried to smile too, but it was more of a grimace. But, at least he tried.

"There's a secret door in the armoury. It leads to the Lower Town. I can take him out that way."

Morgana nodded and took a deep breath. It did not sound like terrible plan so far. Merlin probably knew more about the ins and outs of Camelot than she did. Strange. Since she had lived her longer than he did. "I understand. What can I do? To help?"

Merlin furrowed his brow and seemed to think for a moment. "Well, I need the key to that door. And a cover story."

"I can do both."

"Actually-"
"Where do I get the key?" Morgana asked.

"Umm, well…Arthur."

"What?"
"Arthur has it."

Morgana snorted. "Just our luck." Merlin smiled at this. "Leave it to me. I know how to slip it off of him."

"You sure?" His grin as he asked this told her he was only teasing.

"Oh yes." She twirled her finger in the air, to demonstrate. "I will run rings around him."

"Okay." He looked back down to his lap, still smiling. He looked a little cheered up. That was good. "Okay, well, I need a cover story too."

"Hmm." Morgana rested her chin in her hand, thinking. What was normal for Merlin to go do? Something that might take him away from the castle for a day or so?

"Gaius sends me out for a day or two, sometimes, to collect herbs and flowers and stuff." Merlin offered.

"That's perfect! You could go on an errand for me."

"What should I collect?"
Morgana's thoughts slid to a stop. What might she want from the forest. "Oh." And she frowned.

"Some flowers?" Merlin got up and walked over to the druid boy, sitting down beside the alcove with him.

"And all ladies want flowers?" Morgana sighed and leaned back in her chair. Did she want flowers. Did she like flowers?

"Flowers are pretty."

When Morgana looked over at Merlin and the boy again, they were playing some strange hand game. Something the village children played. It looked akin to pattycake, a game she had used to play as a little child. And Merlin was teaching it to the boy. He looked back at her, shrugging. "Doesn't everyone like flowers?"

"I'm not sure."
"It would have to be a wildflower." Merlin turned back to the hand game he was playing. "Something that grows naturally, and far enough in the forest to explain why I'm gone for a while."

A hot and sour thought occurred to her. How long would he be gone? Would he even come back? What if… What if…

"And how long do you think it will take? Until you get back, I mean?" She asked, standing up again.

"Oh, I'm not sure." His back was to her as he and the boy clapped hands.

The boy was giggling when he made a mistake, giggling as Merlin corrected him.

Morgana watched them for a moment more, then began to pace. "A week?"

"No…" The clapping stopped. "Not that long. Why-"
"Do you think you will stay?"

"Stay where?" She heard him get to his feet. "Morgana-"

And the sour thought bubbled from her lips. "Would you come back for me? If you decided to stay with them?"

"Them? You mean the druids?" He was frowning. He was confused. Or playing at it.

"Yes!" Morgana pointed to her window, roughly in the direction of the forest. "They may know something about- about your...abilities. What if they want you to stay with them? What if you might be happier with them?" Her words were fast and strong and she could not stop them. They sounded angry after she had said them. Was she angry? Morgana took a breath. "I want to help you. And I will. I want to help him." She pointed to the druid boy. "But, I… I don't want to be left here, Merlin. If you go, I go." She shrugged. "I'm ready."

Her whole world had changed. She wanted to change with it too.

He watched her a moment. "I understand." And something flitted across his features, a frown, a smile, a little laugh. "Morgana, if you wanted to go, if I wanted to go- Yeah, of course." That little laugh again. "I can't tell you what to do. But, yeah, I'd help you leave Camelot, if you wanted to."

Something in her belly relaxed. She had not realized how tense she had been. "Right." She nodded. She was not sure what she had been expecting, but it was not that. He just said 'Yes'? He was not arguing with her?

"Bluebells!" Merlin cried.

What?

Perhaps he had gone insane. Morgana put her hands to her hips. "Merlin, what-"

"I forgot, I completely forgot." He ran a hand through his hair, brushing the bangs back. His forehead was white. Pure white. The rest of his face was tan. That was the price you had to pay for bangs over your forehead. Morgana stifled a laugh and averted her eyes from the tanline on his face.

Merlin kept talking. "The bluebells, they should be blooming all over the forest right now. They only grow deep in the forest. Carpets of 'em!" He seemed to grin in pride. "I'll go fetch you bluebells and it'll take me a few days. It's the perfect story!"

Morgana felt herself getting swept up in his excitement. "I am glad you thought of something. So…" She thought back to their plan. "I shall get the keys. Where will I meet you?"

He was quiet for only a moment. "In the armoury." He paused. "Tonight."

Morgana nodded

Merlin continued. "I'll bring the rest of the supplies, you bring the key and our… ahm, friend. That should be it. I think." And unsaid, the words "I hope" hung in the air between them.

"I'll be there." Morgana smirked.

Hours passed. She paced and paced her room a hundred times over. The druid boy watched her with big, blue, wet eyes. Slipping the key off of Arthur was simple enough. She had done it many times before when they were just children. She would pickpocket him and wait until he figured it out. Then he would run to his father and tattle on her. All she had to do was give the trinket back. And she usually had. Besides, it was only the 'taking' that was fun, not the object itself.

Once she had the key in her hand, her heart started pounding and would not stop. It thudded as she dressed the druid boy in his grey-green cloak. Racing as though she were running as they crept down the corridors of the castle. When they slipped into the armoury, closing the door silently behind, she was frightened that her pounding heart would give them away. Frightened that someone could hear her fright. Merlin was not there. Not yet.

But Merlin would be there soon.

She and the boy waited in the armoury. Seconds ticked by. Morgana could not calm herself. Digging into her fingernails into her palm, she paced as quietly as she could. Waiting. And waiting.

Minutes passed. Where was he?

The druid boy tugged on her cloak and Morgana took his hand in hers. They waited in the dark. His hand was so small. She could hear footsteps down the corridor outside. Growing louder.

The boy squeezed her hand, hard.

Morgana squeezed back.

The footsteps stopped in front of the armoury door.

Morgana backed away, looking for somewhere to hide. A table? A closet? Nothing! She tripped and knocked over a shield. It thumped to the floor.

She frozed, panting.

"Is anyone in there?" A deep male voice. A guard!

Morgana clasped a hand over her mouth. She could feel the boy shaking beside her. The door began to creak open.

Merlin wiped his eyes and dug his fingers into his hair. Gaius would be home soon.

This wasn't going to work.

A sob escaped him. He shuddered with it. Pulled his knees to his chest and began to cry.

This wasn't going to work.

You and the boy are as different as night and day.

He had been lying to himself.

You would be executed. That is what would happen. And so would the boy.

The voices of the Lady Morgana and the beast in the dungeons raked through his ears, blending into one.

No one is like you, Merlin.

He should be there by now. He should be in the armoury. He should be with the Lady Morgana. He should be helping the druid boy. But he was here, slumped on the floor, useless, weeping. It was past time. She would be wondering where he was. But try as he might, he couldn't stop crying and he couldn't get off the floor.

Merlin wrapped his arms around his knees and tried to draw a breath.

He was going to help a druid escape Camelot. If he was caught, he was sure to be executed. What would Gaius think? What would his mother think? But he had to know. He had to know what the name meant. Both Morgana and the druid boy spoke it. And the dragon. Everyone seemed to know him by this name except himself. He had to know what that meant. The druids would surely know. And maybe… Maybe things would make more sense after that? If he survived.

Merlin tried to control his breathing. In and out. But his breaths were too fast. Too little. The room seemed to spin a little. His lips tingled.

And Morgana knew that he had magic. She knew him now. And she knew about herself. Was that the right thing to do? What had he done? Had he undone everything?

He couldn't breathe.

"Emrys!"

The voice struck into him, into the deep parts, and took hold of his heart. He felt as though he had been slapped. Looked up, instinctively. Of course, there was no one there. It was the boy, calling out to him again.

Merlin swallowed hard and let his head fall to his arms again, curled into himself on the floor.

"Emrys, where are you?! Please!"

Merlin screwed his eyes shut against the screams.

"Someone is coming!"

He clapped his hands over his ears. Why didn't he move? Why wasn't he there?

"I'm scared, Emrys!"

So am I, Merlin realized.

"They will kill me, please. Don't do this!"

Merlin felt that he was was shaking. The voice filled everything. He could almost taste it.

"I thought you were my friend!"

Morgana's face swam before his eyes. The Lady Morgana. The one person who really knew who he was. The one person he had met who really understood. Why would he lose that? Why wouldn't he fight for it?

"Emrys!"

A rushing. The room spun. Like a stream of hot water, he felt the magic flow through him, flowing out to every limb. A pulse. He felt the heat behind his eyes. Then nothing. Gone, as quickly as it came. His body grew quiet. Merlin realized he was standing.

The voice had fallen silent. He had to go.

Right.

He had to go, now!

He grabbed the satchel that he had packed, a few more bits and bobs, and made for the door. Gaius was just coming in, closing the chamber door behind him.

"Merlin? Where are you off to at this hour?" The old man set down his own bag.

Merlin brushed past, opening the door again, arms full and stumbling. "Off on an errand. May be gone for a few days."

"An errand?" Gaius's back was turned as he poked the fire that crackled softly in the fireplace. "A few- Why not leave in the morning?"

Merlin strode back and wrapped his arms around the old man. One last hug. "Last minute, you know. I'm off to pick bluebells for Lady Morgana." And he rushed out of the door.

Before he heard the door thump closed, Merlin could hear Gaius softly repeat: "Bluebells?"

And Merlin was racing down the dark corridors of the castle. Hopefully, he wasn't too late. Hopefully-

He skidded around a corner, spotting a guard just in time. He waited until the guard passed then continued towards the armoury. He tried the door. Locked. Strange. He heard another guard talking somewhere. With all the echoes from corridor to corridor, it was difficult to tell. But Merlin did not want to be spotted. He tried the door again. Definitely still locked.

Merlin softly knocked. "My lady?"

Nothing.

He tried again. The voices were growing louder. He could hear footsteps now.

"Lady Morgana?" He whispered.

Merlin heard the heavy bolt on the door shift and the door slowly opened a crack. The Lady Morgana's face was half in darkness, half in the light of a nearby torch. "Merlin?"

"Let me in."
The door creaked open a little more and Merlin slid inside.

The Lady Morgana and the boy stared at him.

The Lady spoke first, hissing. "Where were you?"

Merlin looked to the floor and made his way to the little door at the far side of the armoury. "I got held up. I'm sorry." He pulled a few shields aside as quietly as he could, revealing the little door set into the rough stone wall.

"I am not so sure- Something very strange-... I do not know…" She seemed frightened.

Merlin turned back around and saw that the Lady was wringing her hands. "What?" He asked.

"I do not know what happened but all of a sudden the door locked us in. All by itself!"

Merlin frowned. "How?"
"I told you, I do not know!" The Lady threw up her hands. "It just happened. One moment, a guard was about to open the door, and the next it locked itself. He is gone, but not for long. I think…" And she leaned in close. "I could hear them speaking. Other doors locked themselves too, all throughout the castle. I do not like it. Something strange is happening."

Had he done that? Merlin noticed the that the druid boy was staring up at him and had been since he got there. He avoided the boy's eyes and looked away, anywhere, but there. "The key?" He whispered.

The Lady reached into her cloak and produced a little metal key. "It is how you described it. Down to the little notches on the stem."

Merlin took it. "Thank you, my Lady."

"Morgana."
"Hmm?"
"You can call me 'Morgana', you know. I do not mind." And in the dim light, he could see that she was smiling.

Merlin tried smiling back but it was difficult. "Thank you." He nodded and went to the door. Unlocked it as quietly as he could, and opened it. The tunnel yawned before them. Merlin swallowed hard.

"You have enough food?" The Lady asked.

Merlin held out his hand to the boy, to help him into the tunnel. The druid hesitated. Then took it. "Yes." He answered Morgana, boosting the boy into the tunnel. He slung the satchel over his shoulder. "We should have enough for a few days."
"Are you sure? I could have Gwen-"

They had already had this conversation. Merlin had make sure not to involve Gwen. She had spent enough time in the dungeons, after all. She didn't need to again. Merlin shook his head. "I have enough. Thank you." He held out his hand to Morgana, for her to shake.

She took it, and gripped it hard. "Good luck." Morgana whispered.

"Yeah, I need luck to pick all those bluebells." Merlin grinned.

A small smile. "If you happen to find any, bring back some."

"It's why I'm leaving, after all." And he slipped into the dark of the tunnel.

He heard Morgana close the door behind him and the boy. And they were off. Merlin stumbling after the boy. And the journey seemed to take forever.

He felt the blood leave his face when the warning bells began to ring.

The boy stopped and turned back, Merlin could feel him looking to Merlin for help. Merlin gripped the boy's shoulder and guided him forward. "Just-...Just a bit further." He was breathless himself. The darkness was stifling. "Just a bit further. It's okay. It's okay." He whispered.

The emerged in the Lower Town to the smell of livestock and the light of the moon for guidance. Bright and stark, and revealing. Merlin helped the boy stay in the shadows and they slid closer and closer to the city gate.

"It's going to be okay." Merlin whispered. "It's going-"
He heard shouts behind them.

The clank of armor. And weapons. Guards.

Merlin turned back, pushing the druid boy into a run as he did so. Torches bobbed their way through the Lower Town. Down towards the city gate. Towards them!

"Run!" Merlin hissed, taking the boy's hand in his.

The druid's grip was strong.

And they ran.

They ran, and they ran. Merlin dashed through the maze of the city streets, down alleys and up muddy roads. The voices got closer and closer.

At this point, he was looking for somewhere to hide. Sweat poured down his back and he was shivering. Was he cold? Was he hot? He couldn't catch his breath. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't breathe.

Merlin turned the corner and saw his end.

He stumbled to a halt before the guard even ordered him to halt.

He didn't let go of the boy's hand.

A pressure in his back. A sword tip!

"Halt, or I'll run you through. Show yourself."

That voice. Merlin closed his eyes and swallowed.

There's no one like you, Merlin.

I thought you were my friend!

He let go of the boy's hand.

RUN! Merlin screamed the word in his head, in his thoughts, to the boy. The Druid left his side.

A spell. A spell for distraction. Something big. Something loud. Something bright.

A fireball.

He called it to him, called the flames. Something bright and fiery. Called the noise to his hand. Something harmless. Something distracting. Something for an escape. He whispered the words for the spell. Under his breath. Hot breath. Hot flames. Loud. An explosion. Ringing ears.

Merlin's vision cleared. Lying on the ground. Clothes singed. The guards had recoiled. And the boy. Looked around. Slowly, the sound of retreating footsteps reached him. Merlin saw the boy turn a corner, disappearing. Merlin shook his head. His ears still rung.

A sword point was pressed to his neck. Cold. The Prince stared down at him, mouth agape. "Merlin?"

Merlin closed his eyes and lay back onto the cobblestones. His ears ringing.

Faintly, he heard in the distance, perhaps only a street over. "We caught the boy, Sire!"