o.o.O.o.o

Hermione entered the reading room and found Severus had transfigured a desk and had some books laid out on it for her. She approached and at his nod she sat down. The earlier warmth had melted away, and she had no doubt that this was Professor Snape standing here, not her Severus. It made it somehow easier to separate the two in her mind, and she had no doubt that it would be completely necessary going forward.

"Before we begin, I need you to put aside everything you know or think you know about the Dark Arts. Among those that practice them, it is known solely as The Art. Magic isn't light or dark, it simply is," Severus said, looking deep into her eyes. "The old ways aren't taught at Hogwarts anymore, and in the wider wizarding world they are seen as regressive and discriminatory. The wider world is as always full of idiots. The old ways celebrate our connection to our magic. It's not just an ability we have, it is part of us. The very first witches and wizards learned to use their will to manipulate certain elements. They discovered how to bend this power to work their will, long before we had wands or latin-based spells. In my mind, the first spells were likely coaxing fire from long dead embers and warding off the cold to keep warm. The magic I intend to teach you has simplistic words and wand movements, because the fuel for these spells comes from within. Dark magic is tied to your intent, your will. Any idiot can say the words of the killing curse and can make the wand movement, but unless they have the desire and power to complete the spell…they're just words. To use any of the Unforgiveables, you need to be able to perfectly marry your desires with your magic, and then force that will upon your target. It's both simple and difficult," Severus said.

Hermione felt a shiver playing along her skin as she listened to him. There was something hypnotic about his words, pulling her in and making her want to know more. She wondered just how things might have been if he had been allowed to teach them Defence for all those years.

"The books in front of you are the best primers I can offer. They cannot come with you to Hogwarts, so you need to commit them to memory before you leave here. Once you've read them all, we will discuss the content. We should have time before we leave to at least introduce you to some spells that will lay the foundation for what you're going to need to do. I have some errands to run today, but I'll be back around dinner," he said.

"Do you think I'll really be able to do this?" Hermione asked, stroking her fingers across the plain black cover of one of the books. Doubt was dangerous, but it was there. It was trying to creep in around the edges of her thoughts and made her chest tight with worry.

"I think that when the time comes, you'll do what you need to," Severus said simply. "And no matter what you choose, it will be the correct decision."

"I hope you're right." Hermione looked down, not so sure.

"I know I am." He nodded. "I'll see you tonight." He gave a polite bow and left the room.

Hermione sighed and tried not to wonder where he was going. No matter what had happened last night, she wasn't his keeper. She picked up the first book and opened the cover. Introduction to the Art by Ecklion Nagel. It seemed innocuous enough, so she settled down and started to read.

The book started off with a general history of magic, taking her back to the days before wands and structured spells. Magic was taught within families, or passed from master to student in small intimate lessons that focused on a young witch or wizard's own innate talents. It used to be about creating specialists, as opposed to today's more general education. The history segued seamlessly into an exploration of elemental magic, something that she'd only touched briefly on in Ancient Runes. Professor Babbling had only really mentioned it in passing. At the time she'd been curious, but there had been almost nothing about it in the Hogwarts Library and her focus had drifted to other things. This book didn't shy away from the topic, instead taking her deep into the finer points of it.

The pages turned under her fingers as she devoured this new information, feeling like she'd discovered a whole new world of magic that had been purposefully hidden from her. She nearly jumped out of her skin when Mips appeared to tell her that lunch was ready. She blinked and looked at the clock, shocked at the hours that had just vanished. She was nearly through the first book and she shook her head a little.

"I'll be right there Mips, thank you," she said and used a piece of ribbon to mark her place. It took effort to put the book down and walk away from it, but she knew that it wasn't going anywhere and she had plenty of time to finish it.

o.o.O.o.o

Spinner's End was a place Severus visited as little as he could get away with. Sometimes, he dreamed about setting the entire block ablaze, as if it could erase all the ugly memories and emotional wounds that he'd suffered here. Something always stopped him, and he wasn't entirely sure what it was. His wards kept muggles well away from the property, so he never needed to worry too much about burglars or vandals. This mouldering ruin had never really been home, not in his heart. There was too much misery built in its walls and soaked into the flaking plaster. He went to one of the many expansive bookshelves that dominated the front room and started pulling texts that he'd need for Hermione. He had only a few short months to impart a lifetime of knowledge about the Dark Arts…it was a herculean task and one that he didn't really want to be all that successful at.

He sighed and rested his forehead against the wall. What in the name of Merlin was he doing? She was nearly twenty years his junior, and there was the very real chance that both of them could die in the coming storm. It was the worst possible time to be complicating things with a mess of emotion, but he couldn't seem to wrestle his need for her down. Were it simple lust, it would have been a small matter, but it wasn't. It was easy to define what his feelings weren't, but putting a name to the tangle of emotion sitting in his chest was a dangerous thing. There was the very real fear that if he named it, others might as well.

Severus walked over to his couch, sat down heavily, and tipped his head back to look at the cracked ceiling. He hadn't lied to her that night when he'd told her the truth about his past. She was uncomfortably like him, and yet so very different. By her own admission, there was darkness in her, but under it there was an intrinsic goodness that he'd simply never had. She saw the grit and grime on the world, but she could still imagine a future where it didn't have to be there. He also had absolutely no doubt that she would be content to dive as deeply as she needed to, as long as she thought there was light at the other end. Could he really let himself feel this again? Especially when it was doomed to end badly. Men like him didn't get happy endings. That was a truth he'd accepted a long time ago.

The memory of her relieved face, when he'd come back into the bedroom this morning, hit him hard. It had felt so right to be there with her, even with his mind screaming the opposite. He would fight as hard as he needed to keep her, for as long as he could. It would be worth it, just to feel that warmth for a little while longer. He basked in that simple memory for a while, before getting up to head down to his potions lab in the basement. If they were going to be conducting an illicit affair, he would make sure she was as protected as he could make her. The very last thing either of them needed was an unplanned pregnancy complicating matters.

He also grabbed some of his extra equipment so he could get a small lab set up at the London house. It was the best location and the feel of those wards was just right for a defensible fortress. The paranoid voice in the back of his head was telling him to make the protections on it utterly complete with a Fidelius Charm. They would need to discuss that tonight. He wanted to give her somewhere completely safe to retreat to, and if he was her Secret Keeper, he could ensure that she was properly protected.

o.o.O.o.o

Hermione had moved from the transfigured desk to the more comfortable sofa after lunch. It was there that Severus found her. She looked up from the book as he came into the room. The sight of him standing there filled her with warmth and drew a soft smile across her lips. She used the piece of ribbon to mark her place and set the book aside.

"You seem to have had a productive day." Severus smiled and approached.

"I couldn't put it down actually." A wash of heat spread her cheeks. People teased her all the time about her unnatural obsession with books, but they had been her first friends as a child. Even now, it was where she went when things were just getting too crazy in the real world. A safe, familiar escape.

"It is a riveting read." He chuckled and sat down beside her. He reached into his robes and withdrew a capped vial filled with a peach-coloured liquid. "This is for you."

"What is it?" Hermione asked as she reached out and took it.

"A long acting contraceptive," Severus said. "This will work retroactively for forty-eight hours and is designed to last for three months. We were both careless last night," he said.

Hermione took a deep breath and nodded. He was right, neither of them had thought about casting a charm last night, and it had been reckless. While she did want a family one day, it wasn't something she was even remotely ready for. She used her thumbnail to break the wax seal on the vial and drank it back. It had a light, pleasant taste that didn't cling to her mouth like most potions she'd taken over the years.

"Thank you," she said.

"I also brought some supplies to set up a potions lab in the basement as well, I hope that's alright?" he asked.

"Of course. It's a good idea, especially if this ends up being a retreat for us during the war," she said. There was no question for her that Severus would be here too, and it startled her a little that having him beside her was becoming so automatic. It wasn't just because of last night, no…it went back further than that.

"To further that, I would also like you to consider placing this house under the Fidelius Charm," he said.

"Would you be my Secret Keeper?" she asked him after a moment.

"You need only ask," he agreed and reached over, taking her hand.

Hermione's heart beat a little fast as his fingers slipped between hers, a small play of skin that send heat spreading through her body. She gently squeezed his hand. It had felt different last night, as if the darkness had given them permission, but here in the well-lit room it felt even more forbidden. Almost as if someone would come along any moment and catch them. A ridiculous fear, but it was there all the same.

"I wouldn't trust anyone else," Hermione said sincerely. He claimed he wasn't a good man, but he was. He was the only one who'd spent even a second to notice that she'd been drowning under the weight of Dolohov's curse and what had happened to her. There were still nights when she'd wake up, bathed in sweat and her heart racing from a frenzied flight through an endless labyrinth made of black tile. It was less frequent now, thanks to Severus teaching her Occlumency, but she also knew those dreams would probably never go away entirely. If not for him, those dreams would have driven her mad. He'd saved her, even if he didn't want to admit it.

"I'll guard your secret with my life."

"I know." Hermione smiled and leaned over, brushing her lips against his. He remained passive, and she smiled into the kiss. She knew that he worried about taking advantage, so she wanted him to know that this was what she wanted. She shifted, carefully straddling his lap as she deepened the kiss. His hands settled on her hips, returning the languid kiss. There was no urgency to it, as if they had all the time in the world. A little *pop* caught her attention and she moved back to see Mips shifting from foot to foot uncomfortably.

"Yes Mips?" Hermione asked, trying not to be embarrassed. This was her house and if she wanted to straddle a man and kiss him senseless, that was entirely her prerogative.

"Dinner's ready Mistress and Mistress'…friend." The little Elf then disappeared quickly. Severus chuckled a little under her.

"I think we've scandalized your Elf." He nuzzled against her throat, pressing soft kisses along the soft skin.

"Just a bit." She gasped as he nipped right over the purplish bruise from last night. Suddenly, she didn't really care how sore she was, she wanted him again. Right now.

"We should go and eat," Severus murmured against her neck reluctantly.

"You're probably right." She took a deep breath and moved off him, shivering a little at the look in his dark eyes. She had a feeling that he was fighting just as hard as she was against the desire simmering between them. He stood and offered her his hand and escorted her to dinner.