Author's Note: Well, it took longer than expected, but it's ready now. Heeeeeeere's Kitty! (That was a reference to "The Shining," but with Kitty instead of Johnny.)

There's a Tumblr user called FountainPenguin who sort of helped to create a headcanon about where ghosts can have children and where they can't. I've alluded to that (hopefully not too graphically) in this segment. Enjoy!

Kitty 13

How can I answer that question? I already have a boyfriend! A boyfriend I've been with since the night I died, might I add!

But if you're asking me to pretend Johnny doesn't exist, then … well, I guess I wouldn't mind dating Danny Phantom instead.

The trouble is, I don't really know him. There haven't been many times when Danny and I came face-to-face in battle. I pounced on him once because he was attacking Johnny and almost killed him (again), but that's it. Danny's not really an enemy. Just an annoyance.

Even if we were never truly foes, I don't fancy being his friend, either. Johnny's the one who comes over to his house to talk about the Ghost Zone, not me. I still don't fully trust those human beings. They're singing our praises now we've saved the world, but how long will it last? When will they start rudely sucking us out of their houses again?

Actually, humans aren't all bad. I used to be one, so I guess I can't get too huffy. And I did have a lot of fun messing around with Danny Fenton in Paulina's body.

I was sick of Johnny flirting with other girls in front of me. I needed a break, and something pulled me to Danny telling me I would find something good there. I probably shouldn't have overshadowed Paulina to get closer to him, given that she was one of Ember's friends, but the desire to see what it was like to be beautiful was too strong.

As Danny and I "dated," I got to see another side of him, the side that didn't try to bother the ghosts. He showered me with compliments. He covered his locker with photos of the two of us. He went on picnics with me. He took me to all the best places in town. He "helped" me get a strike at the bowling alley. He would do whatever it took to make me happy. I felt warm and fuzzy around him, even though it was just a lie because he thought I was someone I wasn't.

Huh. Maybe I had more fun with him than I realised.

No. Forget him, Kitty. Johnny's your man and he always will be.

We met when I was sixteen and working as a waitress in a diner. Our town sat in the middle of a desert, so business was always slow. Still, it gave me experience with difficult customers, and I did earn a little more money for college.

One day, a guy in a leather jacket parked his motorbike outside and strolled in. His hair was shaggy, blond and dirty. He spent a long time staring at me before ordering some generic breakfast dish. He barely ate the food when it came. He just swirled his fork through the egg yolk while his tired green eyes followed me around the room.

Maybe I should have been creeped out. I know a lot of girls who would have kicked him to the kerb for leering at them. But I enjoyed the attention. It made a change from the balding old guys who usually dropped in, the ones who buried their heads in their newspapers and never gave me a second glance.

The stranger came back the next weekend, and then we started bumping into each other in the street, and then it got to the point where not seeing him became the exception rather than the rule.

With each meeting, I found out more about him. His name was Johnny Thornton. He was twenty years old. He used to live on the West Coast. He was the captain of the football team in high school. He once asked an unpopular girl out for a dare, stood her up, and turned on the news the next day to see that her house had burnt down – with her still inside. Since then, his life fell apart. He dropped out of high school and rode away on his motorbike, finding and losing different jobs every month, never remaining in one place for too long.

Until he met me.

Johnny wanted to stay in this town, so he worked for a few days with our local mechanic, fixing up old cars. The boss let him go after he accidentally set somebody's Mustang on fire. When he ran out of money to pay for his motel, I invited him to stay at my place. To say my parents were not happy about that is like saying the Beatles were popular. They told me he was clearly bad news. I told them I was sixteen now and they couldn't boss me around anymore. Ten minutes of bickering later, they threw their hands up and said that if I wanted to go out with a degenerate and ride on a death trap, so be it.

They didn't realise how literal they would be.

The relationship soon got serious. Johnny pulled out an emerald ring and offered it to me. He'd won it in a poker game and hung onto it in case he needed to sell it for cash. The previous owner told him it was cursed. He laughed at them. Anyway, he gave me this ring and asked me if I wanted to get out of this town. He promised me adventure. We were going to see the whole country: the mountains, the forests, the prairies, the beaches, the cities. We wouldn't worry about finding food or getting jobs or buying a house. We would let the road take us wherever it wanted us to go.

I had to think about it – for three seconds. I let him slide the ring onto my finger. It was a date.

Later that night, while my parents were sleeping, I got dressed and put on my two favourite things: a bright red jacket and a purple scarf. I knew Johnny thought they made me look hot. I climbed out the window and we set off on his motorbike.

We didn't get far before we reached a level crossing. There was a train coming. He revved the engine and took a chance.

"We're not going to make it, Johnny!"

"Oh, yes, we are! I'm feeling lucky tonight!"

A snarling green-eyed creature flickered across the train's headlight.

Johnny and I screamed.

The journey ended.

At least, I thought it had. For the longest time, we were floating in obscurity. Then the bike roared into life again, we sped up, and the blackness cleared out to reveal a swirling green wasteland.

We didn't see much of America on our road trip, but we did get to explore a place neither of us had been before: the Ghost Zone.

I didn't have time to be mad at Johnny for killing us both. I was too busy fighting off the skeletons that chased us up and down and between the floating purple doors. Luckily, we still had time to squabble about his bad driving while I whipped the monsters away with my scarf.

"Look at us," I said once we'd outrun them. "We're already like an old married couple."

"I want a divorce," he grumbled.

Those first few days were chaos. As if the unfriendly faces weren't enough, we had to deal with the shady character we'd seen by the train, who kept following Johnny around like a puppy. A puppy that drove its owners to their death and brought them nothing but bad luck in the afterlife.

Things were tough for a while, but we're used to this place now. We've figured out how things work. We've got everybody's lairs mapped out in our minds. We've learned to recognise when a portal is about to open and about to close. We've tamed Shadow (as Johnny called him) and we can call on him to help us out of sticky situations. As long as we all stay together, nothing bad happens and no-one bothers us.

The Ghost Zone might be fun to explore, but Johnny and I like returning to the Human Realm, too – and not just to see the sights we never had the chance to visit while we were alive. It's been said that ghosts can only have kids if they're in the Ghost Zone. There's no risk once they step outside. Romping in the Human Realm is the best form of birth control ever. Believe me, I've tried it.

Spectra did a lot to help us find out where we were and what we could and couldn't do. We don't hang out that much these days, but when we do, we get along pretty well. She's quite witty when she wants to be. It's hard not to laugh when she's making fun of those overly perky psychiatrists, hopping all over the place and talking about "acci-don'ts".

I've even made friends with Johnny's ex-girlfriend, the one who set herself on fire. It took a while for her to trust me, and it took a while for me to forgive her for hitting Johnny the first time we found her. But we're cool now. Ember's an awesome girl. I can talk to her about anything. If we were still alive, we'd have slumber parties and paint each other's nails and complain about boys and spill our deepest secrets.

One of her secrets is that she thinks she has a crush on Danny Fenton. She prefers him when he isn't being a superhero, when he's an average kid who can't stand up for himself.

Do I like him, too? I don't know. I'm not sure which half I would prefer, the ghost half or the human half. Wouldn't it be pointless to pick a side? I mean, it's not like you can separate the two. There's only one Danny. If I really had to choose, I'd go for the ghost, simply because his white hair makes him look cute. But that's completely hypothetical. Isn't it?

Sometimes, a pretty boy catches my eye. I think that happens to every girl, single or not. But ultimately, it means nothing at all. Johnny and I have been through far too much for me to break it off now. I can't imagine spending my afterlife with anyone else. Not even someone as handsome as Danny Phantom.