A Dark Vision

Chapter Eight

Drusilla held onto the witch, shushing her sobs. "Now, now, darling, there isn't any need to cry."

She wasn't sure if Willow heard her. But she held on to her, as if Drusilla was the only thing left that she could hold onto.

"What's happened to you, little witch?" Dru asked. "You can tell me."

"Nothing happened to me," said Willow. And Drusilla knew it was true. But something had happened. It just wasn't Willow it had happened to.

"Will you walk with me?" Drusilla asked, stepping away and holding out a gloved hand. Willow eyed it for a moment, as if it might turn into something monstrous and clawed, but she took it, and the two began to walk down the street. Willow didn't ask where they were going, didn't say any word at all, and Drusilla thought that odd. Again, she wondered what had happened.

"I saw your friend earlier," she said to Willow.

"Buffy."

"She wasn't very nice to me. She tried to kill me."

"She's the Slayer," said Willow. "It's kinda what she does."

"She hasn't tried to kill Spike recently though, has she?"

"That's different. He has a chip. And he helped us out all summer, even without Buffy around."

"I'm trying to help you."

Willow said nothing to that. Her silence said enough.

"I could stop this all for you. Make you new, make you strong. Like me. It wouldn't be hard. It would hurt for a bit, only a bit. And when you woke up you'd be all better."

Willow visibly cringed. "Do you really believe that? That, that it would be all better? Is that what happened to you?" Willow asked.

"No," Drusilla said. "No, that's not what happened to me. That's not what happened to me at all." Her mind went back to the events leading up to her turning and she tried to force them away. She couldnt think about those things. Those had happened to someone else. That human girl simply hadnt been her, and Drusilla didnt care about her at all. But then why did her eyes fill with tears?

"Then why would it work for me?"

"If it did, would you want it then?"

"No. Not even then. That's not something I could ever want. Unless I was dying, or... Even then it'd be wrong. You couldn't understand."

"No." She truly couldn't.

They grew silent, but walked on. The streets were almost empty at this time. Why was Willow still out? It was too late for humans, and Willow, especially in this weak state, was a prime target. It wasn't any wonder that Drusilla had already had to fend off one attacker. The sky was already growing light, a pale grey-blue that drowned out the stars.

"Where are we going?" Willow asked at last.

"Home. Don't want to come?"

Willow stopped walking. Drusilla waited for her, knowing she would come. "I'm not sure I should. I was going back to my dorm."

"In the university?"

"Yeah. I can't stay with Buffy, Tara won't let me go back to her. After this, I doubt she'd even look at me. What I did to Dawn…"

"Dawn? The little one?" Drusilla asked her. "I met her once when she was small. I didn't really though. Because she wasn't really born yet. Isn't that strange? Did you kill her?"

"No! Of course I didn't. I just hurt her. She's… fine. Or she was. I hurt her. Maybe badly, I don't know." She turned away. Why did she do that? Drusilla wanted Willow to look at her. Was she thinking of the others, those she called her friends? The ones who had cast her out so callously?

"Did you mean to? Did you want to?"

"Of course not! Why the hell would you say that to me?"

Willow stood still for some long moments. She wouldn't look at Drusilla. She looked away, in the direction she'd been headed. She looked over, feet bouncing softly on the earth, as if torn. Where to go? Drusilla could answer for her, but she knew that if she waited she wouldn't have to.

Willow turned back to her. Her face had shed the fear and lostness it had held moments before, and her mouth was pressed into a thin line of determination. And yet, she seemed upset. Angry? But anger wasn't quite right for that look in her eyes. Drusilla could feel it, without knowing what it meant, and it hurt her, almost scared her.

"I'm coming with you," Willow said. She walked ahead. Did she already know where they were going? She couldn't, yet still she walked ahead. Her stride was powered by a new energy, and Drusilla took a while to catch up.

They arrived at the mansion. Willow stopped and looked at it. Drusilla watched her, tried to see her feelings and her thoughts. Drusilla didn't know what Willow was thinking. Even Willow didn't know what Willow was thinking, she could work that much with only a glance.

Willow took a slow step forwards. She didn't look back at Drusilla. Willow raised her hand and the door opened.

Willow stepped inside. The place was a mess, that much was clear to her as soon as she walked in. She'd thought that no one had lived in here for years, but it looked to her like there were the remains of several vamp nests from over the years. It was sad to see this place go to ruin like that. The architecture was so beautiful, but it really was a wreck. But it was nothing her magic couldn't fix.

The thought came to her unbidden that as long as she was staying here, she could use as much magic as she liked. Dru didn't care if she overused it. Hell, Willow thought she'd be happy about it. She wanted her to use magic. She'd spent a long time trying to get her to in the Bronze the other night. It definitely wasn't something Willow would have to be careful with here.

She cast a spell and something was fixed. The windows. She fixed the windows. A light shone, and the place looked like new. Willow smiled softly to herself. She heard a squeal and a clap and turned to see Drusilla grinning ear to ear. She was so excited, she was almost like a child.

"My wonderful witch," she said. "It's amazing. It's truly amazing. What you can do...Show me more! Show me more!"

Willow smiled, almost laughed. Part of her inside was screaming at her about who this was, what she was, what she'd done, but Willow didn't care. She wanted to be happy. And seeing Drusilla's happiness like this was almost infectious. When was the last time Willow or any of her friends had been that happy? Ever since Buffy had died they'd all been down, and it had hardly got better since she'd been back. Willow remembered what Buffy had said, that she thought she was in heaven. Williow had ripped her out, against her will. And when she'd tried to fix her, to make her forget, everything had gone wrong. Lately every time she tried to help, something went wrong. Maybe it was time for her to simply stop trying to do right.

She cast other spells. Spells that made things, spells that broke things, spells that fixed them again. Drusilla watched her, ecstatic. Willow felt that almost all her strength had come back to her now, and so quickly... joy coursed through her as the magic did, and every cell in her body felt alive.

What could be bad about this? Willow thought. She was exhausted again, but it was different than earlier. She felt safe, and she felt powerful. She felt happy.

Drusilla was beside her, and Willow didn't spend any time at the moment worrying about why it was Drusilla had wanted her. It was for her magic. That was enough for her to know. She could see how Drusilla responded to the magic. She was attracted to the power of it, for the same reason as Willow herself craved it. The magic was the link between them.

Willow would usually find Drusilla creepy, with her childlike behavoir and her being dead and all. But now she found her almost… alluring. She should be scared of her, she should want to run, but when she looked at her now, all she could see was the woman who had tried to comfort her and allowed her a place to stay.

As Buffy and Spike carried her home, Dawn was barely conscious. Buffy told herself Dawn was going to be alright as they carried her. Spike hadn't said a word. Even he was worrried about her. Buffy wondered, was he really worrried for her, or was he just worried because he knew Buffy would be sad? He and Dawn had seemed close at times, but was he just hoping to use that to get on Buffy's good side?

The relatively short journey seemed to take a lifetime. When they were back at the house, Buffy called Tara who came downstairs quickly, fear on her face. She saw Dawn and rushed to her.

"What happened?" she asked.

"I don't know exactly, there was a spell, it was supposed to be for the demon—"

"It was Willow," Spike said. Tara looked at him, unbelieving. "It was an accident. But it was Willow."

"An accident?" she asked. She looked at Dawn. Buffy knew what she was thinking. How could an accident do something like this? Dawn was barely conscious and she was still in pain. What had Willow been thinking?

"Is she going to be okay?" Buffy asked.

"I dont know yet," Tara responded. "I'll have to find out."

Buffy and Spike both stood by anxiously while Tara used her magic to attempt to heal. Dawn opened her eyes and looked around. She looked terrified.

"Dawnie?" Buffy started. "Are you alright?"

"Buffy?" Dawn asked. She sounded so unsure. Her voice cracked as if her throat was sore. "What happened? My head hurts."

"Willow cast a spell that went wrong," Buffy said. Dawn scrunched up her face, and it was clear to see what she was thinking. Not again, that face said. They'd all had enough of magic going wrong recently.

"Where is she now?" Tara asked.

Buffy and Spike exchanged a look. Where had Willow gone? Neither one of them had seen her, but they hadn't been too concerned. But what if she was in trouble? She'd already had problems using her magic, what if something else went wrong? What if she tried to fix something else?

"I don't know," Buffy said. "We haven't seen her. She could have gone anywhere. But she's probably all right."

Tara didn't look very convinced, but she didn't bother asking again. "I'll try to find her," she said. But when she attempted the locator spell, Willow just didn't show up at all. It was like she didn't exist.

"Well that's not good," Spike said.

"What happened? If she's not there, does that mean she's dead?" Buffy asked.

"No, it she was it would still find her, it woud just be different. If she doesn't show up at all, then that means she's somewhere I can't get to her. It means she's hiding."

Drusilla thought that the witch looked much calmer now, almost as if she'd forgotten about what had happened. On her face was the most serene expression Drusilla had seen a human wear, yet also full of energy. A strange contradiction. But the tears still stained her face, a reminder of how she'd felt only a short few hours ago.

"Do you feel better now, my witch?"

"Yeah," her voice barely above a whisper.

"You see? You dont need them. With me, you can be free. You can be strong."

Willow didnt say anything to that. Wether it was because she disagreed or because she simply couldn't argue with it, neither of them could know. Drusilla walked over and lay beside her, close enough that they could touch. Drusilla's arms were splayed out to her sides as if she'd fallen, her hand so close to Willow that it brushed her sleeve. But Willow didn't move either closer or further from her, though she turned to look at her.

"Your eyes are like oceans," Drusilla said, then shook her head. "No, forests. They're like forests full of shade, deep and dark and unknowable. I could lose myself there."

Willow's lips curled slightly, almost like a smile. "I don't think you could get any more lost."

"You might be right. Do I look lost to you? Don't you think I know where I'm going?"

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going to death. To see all of it burn into ashes, just like me. Wouldn't that be beautiful? A world made up all of cinders and ashes only, nothing left living."

"That doesn't sound beautiful at all…"

"One day you'll see. One day."

Three days had passed. Spike hadn't seen Buffy, Dawn or anyone else of the Scoobies since the demon incident, and he hadn't seen hide nor hair of Drusilla either. Things had been slow. There was a time he'd complain about that, but that was a while ago now. Now he was glad for the rest. Wasn't that strange? If he'd been human, he'd put it down to aging, but of course he couldn't do that. Didn't even have an excuse.

He hadn't been doing that much with his time lately. He'd been avoiding going out to see Clem and the demons he played poker with, maybe just to be alone. So much had happened since the last time. The night he'd spent with Buffy for a start. She hadn't come back to him since then, not in the same way. He'd known that she hadn't the same way about it that he did. But the memories lost not a drop of sweetness because of that. He still remembered the sight of her, the feel of her skin. There had been a ferocity, a hunger in her, like a fire burning. But after it all, she was colder than she'd ever been.

A knock at the door. Who could that be? Only the Slayer of course. Who else would it be?She opened the door without waiting for his answer and walked inside.

"How's Dawn?" he asked.

She looked at him as if trying to work out the question. Why, when it was so simple? But she was probably just still trying to find ulterior motives in his every action, no matter how good.

"She's doing okay. What happened in the caves took a lot out of her, but Tara managed to help her a little."

"Hm. That's good then."

Buffy didn't speak for a few moments, and neither did Spike. He started to wonder what she'd come here for.

"Have you seen—"

"No."

"You didn't let me finish."

"Only one you could be looking for is either Willow or Drusilla, and I haven't seen either of them."

"Do you know where either of them could be?"

"No." He looked Buffy in the eyes as he said that, hoping she'd take that for truth. Of course he knew exactly where Dru was. It wasn't the first lie he'd told Buffy, and he didn't feel bad for it. Of course he didn't, he was a soulless evil thing. How could he feel anything? All the same he'd rather not have to lie to her, but he felt he had to. After all those years, he felt that he owed Drusilla that at least.

"When we went down to the caves, you said the demon had to have been summoned by someone," Buffy said.

"That's right. Those things never leave their home dimension unless called, and they're obedient. Only do what they're told to. Someone out there must have a vendetta against you and yours."

"Do you have any leads on who that could be?"

Leads? It could be almost the entire demon population of the city, not to mention a good chunk of the humans. That was what it meant to be the Slayer. But he didn't say that to her.

"It's sure as hell not Dru, if that's what you were thinking. She wouldn't have done something like that. It's too… On second thought, maybe she would. It's been a few years since I spent any time around her. But my money's on it being a human. Maybe you should ask Tara to help you find it, since Willow doesn't seem to be around. Tara said she was hidden. Think maybe that means she doesn't want to be found?"

Buffy hesitated for some moments in the doorway, as if deciding whether to go or stay. She'd said all she needed to say, that was clear. But was there something more that she wanted? Spike watched her face, hoping for any sign that she might stay just for a while, that he might get to spend some more time with her, just kiss her, hold her once more…

But then she turned and left, and he didn't know if or when she might be back.

Author's note: New chapter! Let's hope I can get some more of these done. For anyone waiting, I hope the next chapter won't take so long.