The Steve Exchange

Author's Note: I'm sorry this chapter has taken so long. Real life is being a pain right now. Also, I'm so sad that Daniel and Grace are leaving the show. I can understand their reasons, but still, so sad. At least they will still be part of the task force for the duration of this story.

I hope you enjoy this bit. Next chapter we'll get into some action and I'll try not to take so long to get it written. Mahalo for reading. :)

elf

Chapter Four: Not The Usual Suspects

Five-O Headquarters. Universe A. 1972.

Danno Williams directed Steve B, from the alternate universe, to his usual parking spot. The drive over had taken longer than it normally did because the roads in Steve B's century and universe were apparently different and, even though he was driving uncomfortably fast, he kept taking wrong turns.

Steve B jumped out of the car and grabbed his duffel bag from the back seat. "You say you're in the actual palace?" he asked, and headed that way without waiting for a reply. Danno hurried to keep up.

"So, I've told you about my people," Steve said. "Tell me about yours? Does it sound like they're the same or different? I mean, I'm guessing different, but how different? And how about you? Besides surfing on your day off and dressing like you're actually in Hawaii, what are you like?"

"Gosh. I don't even really know how to answer that. You haven't told me that much about your people, you know. Like, Chin Ho. My Chin Ho is a family man. He and his wife have eight children."

"Eight? Seriously?"

"Yes. He's not raising his niece, though. Is your Chin married? Does he have children of his own?"

"Ah, children, no. My Chin is a widower, I'm afraid. He lost his wife several years ago. He is seeing someone pretty seriously now, though." They were almost at the entrance to the building now and, as chance would have it, Kono Kalakaua was approaching it at the same time.

"What about Kono?" Steve B asked. "Does Kono have any kids?"

"Me? Kids?" Kono answered for himself. "Nah, Bruddah. I'm a bachelor."

Steve B froze and stared at him, a shocked look on his face.

Grinning, Danno made the formal introduction. "Steve McGarrett from the alternate universe," he said, glancing around to be sure no one was within hearing, "meet my dear friend, Kono Kalakaua."

Kono offered his hand. Steve B didn't take it, but rather stood there immobile, mouth hanging open and eyes wide. After a minute Kono put his hand down, uncertain.

"I think you broke our temporary boss, buddy." Danno grinned at Kono's confusion.

Steve B slowly smiled, the expression broadening to overtake his whole face. He pointed at Danno.

"Now I know why you snorted coffee when I showed you that picture."

"What picture?" Kono asked.

"Steve has pictures of his team in his universe," Danno said. "Let's go up to my office and he can show them to you."

"Okay."

Together the three men went in and climbed the koa wood staircase to the Five-O offices. In the outer room, Steve B looked around perplexed at the rows of desks and the buzz of activity. "Who are all these people?"

"Our support staff," Danno said. "Don't you have a support staff?"

"No. Well, not really. I mean, there's always Jerry. And of course we have Charlie Fong and Eric Russo in the labs and Max Bergman. He's the coroner."

"Who's Jerry?" Kono asked.

"He's a conspiracy theorist," Steve said. "We keep him in the basement."

"You keep a conspiracy theorist in your basement?" Danno asked.

"Where else you gonna keep a conspiracy theorist?"

"Right. That makes sense. I guess," Danno agreed dubiously. "We've got a Fong and I think there's a lab tech named Eric Russo. And, of course, we have Doc Bergman to take care of us."

"Your Doctor Bergman takes care of you? Ours is the coroner."

"Ours is the coroner. But he's also our personal physician."

"Your personal physician is the coroner? That's a little pessimistic, don't you think?"

Chin Ho and Ben were waiting by Jenny's desk so Danno was spared having to answer that. He led the way over and made introductions. "Steve McGarrett, this is Chin Ho, Ben, and this is our Steve's secretary, Jenny."

"Wow," Steve said. "Your Steve has a secretary?" He gave Jenny a tip of the head and a courtly half bow. "It's very nice to meet you, ma'am."

"You don't have a secretary?" she asked. "Who keeps you organized and answers your phone?"

He shrugged. "I do, mostly. Most of our files are digital so it's easy to organize them. And I answer my own phone."

"What about when you're out of the office?"

Danno grinned. "He takes his phone with him."

"Huh," Chin said. "That must be an awfully long phone cord."

Steve B gave them his charming grin and showed them his phone, to their collective astonishment.

"Show them your pictures," Danno prompted, grinning. To the others he explained, "Steve has pictures of his team on his phone."

"Yeah," Steve said, playing along. "You want to see them?"

"Sure."

"Sure, Bruddah," Kono said. "I want to know why you give me funny looks."

"Probably the same reason the rest of us do," Chin said.

"Probably not," Steve disagreed, grinning. He sorted through his pictures and brought up the picture of Danny first. "This is my Danny Williams, in a rare moment of not ranting about anything."

Chin, Kono, and Jenny leaned close to peer at the small screen.

"He's very handsome," Jenny said.

"Yeah," Steve laughed. "I won't tell him you said that. I don't want it to go to his head." He pulled up another picture. "This is my Chin Ho. This is a picture of him with Sarah, his niece. She lost her parents and he's raising her now."

"Good start," this universe's Chin Ho said. "He's got a ways to go to catch up with me, though."

"What about Kono?" Kono asked. "What's your other me look like?"

"I'm getting there. I'm getting there." Steve McGarrett pulled up another picture and passed it around. "This is Kono's wedding. That's Kono."

Danno hadn't seen this picture either so he leaned in with his teammates. It had been an outdoor wedding and the picture showed a radiant bride and beaming groom standing under a flowered arch.

Chin whistled. "Wow, Bruddah! Their you is a handsome devil and he scored himself a beautiful lady, too."

Danno choked back a laugh and hid his lower face behind his hand.

"Oh, no," Steve said mildly, leaning in. "That's Adam." He grinned. "Kono's the bride."

5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0

Five-0 Headquarters. Universe B. 2017

Steve McGarrett got out of Williams' black Camaro and headed for the palace.

"Wait. Where are you going?" Danny asked.

Steve gestured behind himself, puzzled. "HQ?"

"You're in the palace proper?"

"Yes. You're not?"

"No, that's a museum. We're in the Ali'iolani Hale. It must be cool to work in the original palace."

"It has its charms," McGarrett agreed, joining the shorter man for the walk across to the Hale. They walked carefully side-by-side, neither leading nor lagging behind. The short stroll felt like an exercise in diplomacy.

The Hale was very nice in this universe. Williams bypassed the elevator and led Steve up an elegant staircase. Five-0 headquarters was separated from the rest of the building by glass doors and marked by an impressive seal in the middle of the floor leading into the area. Inside, there were four good-sized, many-windowed offices flanking the entryway, two on each side, and a fifth, larger office set in the far corner. The open area between them contained only a large table with an odd surface, and a couple of work tables and chairs. A large screen, like a television screen but flat and without picture tubes or speakers, hung from the wall. There were no filing cabinets, no bulletin boards, not even a single desk.

He wondered where the secretary worked.

Three people waited by the table, an older but very fit Hawaiian man, a tall, slender, and lovely Hawaiian woman, and a big, burly black man. Danny Williams left his side and went around to stand with his team.

"Alter-Steve, allow me to introduce my friend and possibly my daughter's future father-in-law, Lou Grover. Lou, you're not on the task force in his world. You're one of Kamekona's fry cooks."

Lou Grover scowled down at the blond. "I know when you're lying. You know that right?"

Steve chuckled and offered the big man his hand. "He's not entirely lying. We have no Lou Grover on our task force. However, I don't know who or what your counterpart may be."

"I'm probably a spy," Grover decided. "I fancy myself something of a Bond."

Danny snorted and moved on. "This is Chin Ho Kelly. I was telling you about him."

Steve had pegged the man as either Chin Ho or Kono so he wasn't surprised. "Lieutenant. It's nice to meet you."

"The same. And, whatever Danny told you about me, take it with a grain of salt."

"You mooks are hurting my feelings here, you know that."

Chin Ho bumped his elbow affectionately into Danny's shoulder as Williams circled him to stand next to the woman. Danny put his arm around her and turned to Steve.

"And can you guess who this is?"

Steve considered, mouth twisting into a reluctant smile. "Not Jenny, I'm guessing."

"No, not-wait. Who's Jenny?"

"Jenny? My secretary?"

"You have a secretary? Really?"

"Your Steve doesn't have a secretary?"

Danny laughed incredulously. "No. No secretary."

McGarrett frowned at him and raised one eyebrow. "You keep a conspiracy theorist in the basement but you think it's odd that I have a secretary."

Danny tipped his head. "Okay. I'm going to concede that point. Anyway, no. This is not Jenny. And not anyone's secretary."

"Then she must be Kono." McGarrett grinned as Williams looked disappointed.

"How'd you guess?"

"Your behavior was a clue. I am a detective, you know."

"Ah. Yes. My Steve's not. Yes, you're right. This is Kono." Danny was grinning again.

Kono gave him a charming smile that brought out her dimples and if that wasn't something Steve never thought he'd think he didn't know what was. She could tell, obviously, that there was something going on, but had no idea what it was.

"What?" she asked, still smiling. She was ready to laugh, waiting to be let in on the joke. "Danny? What's going on? Why is it funny that he guessed who I am?"

"The Kono on my team is much larger than you, love," Steve told her. "And decidedly more masculine."

"Their Kono's a guy," Danny clarified, as if it were necessary.

"Oh." Kono's mouth tightened in a suppressed laugh, her eyes bright. "I don't know how to react to that. Though I can tell my friends don't have that problem." The three Universe B men were laughing hysterically.

"We'll have to start calling you 'girl-Kono'," Grover said.

She spoke through a smile. "I'll have to start calling you mud."

Chin forced himself to sober up. "Don't get on her bad side, guys. I'm not protecting you if you get on her bad side."

Steve looked around. "Where does your support staff work?"

"Support staff?" Williams looked genuinely confused. "What support staff?"

"You have no support staff? Who does your legwork? Tails suspects? Runs down routine information?"

"We do," Danny said. The others nodded. "Of course," he added, "HPD lends us manpower if we need it. We tend to call on SWAT a lot. And we use their forensics people. And then there's Max Bergman."

"Ah, yes," Alter-Steve said. "We also have a Doc Bergman. I'm afraid we've all wound up in his skilled hands more times than we'd care to count."

"Our Max Bergman is the coroner who handles all our cases," Lou Grover said.

"Yes, so's ours."

"So, what?" Danny asked, a trifle alarmed. "You're all zombies? Is that what you're telling me?"

"No, of course not. Doc Bergman simply takes care of us in addition to his duties as a coroner."

"Your personal physician is the coroner? That's a trifle dark, don't you think?"

Steve cleared his throat and hefted his bag. "Is there somewhere I can work? I'd like a minute to organize my files before I present you the information I've brought on the fugitives we're going to be attempting to locate and recover."

"Sure. You can use our Steve's office," Danny said. He led him over to the larger corner office and opened the door for him.

Steve went in and looked around. "He doesn't have a phone?"

"He's probably got it with him," Danny said.

"I hope he uses it to take some pictures," Chin said. "I'd like to see what our counterparts look like."

"He will," Danny said confidently.

"That thing you were talking on in the car," Steve said, understanding now, "that was a phone? I thought it was some kind of radio."

"You're not actually wrong about that," Kono told him. "Cell phones-they're called cell phones because they use a battery-are basically complex, hand-held radios. They operate by bouncing signals off radio towers and they work anywhere you're close enough to a tower to get a signal, which these days is almost everywhere. There are still some rural areas where you'll find it hard to get a signal and sometimes in cities the signal can be blocked by the buildings. You can also occasionally lose service because too many people are using their phones at the same time, but that sort of thing generally only happens during something like a large-scale emergency. Overall, cell phones are at least as reliable as landlines, which tend to be scarce now."

"That's all very interesting," Steve said. "But what if I need to contact someone?"

"We have a phone for you." She took one of the devices from the pocket of her jeans and came up to show it to him. It was rectangular, about the size of an index card and less than half an inch thick. The face was mostly glass with a single button and a couple of symbols beneath it and there were a few more buttons and holes on the sides, top, and bottom. "You use this button to turn it on and then swipe your finger across the screen to unlock it. Since this is all new to you, we kept the apps to a minimum."

"Apps?"

"Applications. There are thousands of things you can do with a cell phone, but we've only programmed this one with a few basic ones. This phone icon is to make calls and you can use the contact list to dial numbers for you. I've programmed in our numbers, the governor's office, the lab, and the coroner. Just tap the name of the person you want to call and then tap the green 'call' icon. Try it if you like."

With a bemused shake of his head, Steve tapped the name Danny and then the green outline of a telephone handset. A few feet away, Danny Williams' pocket started playing the theme song from The Twilight Zone.

Chin Ho gave him a sideways look. "Really?"

"It seemed appropriate." He pulled out his own phone tapped the face and spoke into it. "Hello?"

Steve heard him both across the room and, faintly, from the device in his hand.

"You're going to want to either put it up to your ear or hit the speaker button," Lou Grover said.

Steve obediently put the device to his ear, mimicking Williams' pose. "Like this?"

"Exactly," Danny said. "And this is how you hang up." He took the phone down and showed Steve how he hit the red "end call" button.

A little more coaching and Steve felt confident that, if necessary, he could use the device to make a phone call.

"It also has a clock, a calendar, a calculator, and a GPS program that will show you a map of anywhere in the world and give you directions from your current location," Chin said. "Also, there's a text messaging app. That's like a phone call, but you send written messages or photos or files. And the person doesn't have to answer immediately to receive it. It will still be there when they check their phone again."

He pointed out an icon that looked like an envelope.

"Why is there a one beside it?" Steve asked.

"That means you have a message waiting. It must be a test message from when they activated the phone."

Steve tapped the button and a list popped up with a single entry, marked "lab" and showing a paper clip beside it.

"That means there's an attachment," Kono said. "Tap the message to expand it."

He did and it opened to a few lines of text and a picture.

"Welcome to our universe. Testing. Testing." The picture was of a young, shirtless Danny Williams with his hands handcuffed over his head."

Steve raised one eyebrow and looked at the younger man. Kono peeked over his shoulder and giggled (which was another thing he never thought he'd think). "Eric strikes again."

"What?" Danny came over to look as well, then swore and headed for what was, presumably, his own office, pulling out his phone as he went.

His teammates chuckled and Steve was quietly amused to see what he perceived as confirmation of his initial impression that Williams' importance was largely in his own mind.

"It's from a calendar that his force in New Jersey put out," Kono explained. "They're like pin-up calendars for women. A lot of police departments and fire departments make them up with pictures of their members and sell them to raise money for charity. Danny was Mr. November."

Steve went around behind the desk and set his new phone and his bag on the shining wood surface. "I'll keep that in mind," he said.

5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0

Five-O Headquarters. Universe A. 1972

"...so I brought along a small printer," Steve-B took a small machine from his duffel bag, "and a cord for it and I really hope that our universes' electrical infrastructures are compatible. Someone want to plug this in for me?" He plugged one end of the cord into the machine and handed the other off to Kono who knelt and plugged it into a convenient wall socket."

"What if they're not compatible?" Danno asked.

"The printer will probably blow up or catch fire," Steve said, turning it on. Danno, Chin, Kono, and Jenny moved back but nothing exploded. Steve gave them a satisfied grin and turned his attention back to his phone. "Okay, great. So, our task force has captured one of the two men who bought the universe-hopping technology and I've got a list of five people they've been paid to transfer to your world. I got everything we had on those five people and if you've got some blank typing paper, I'll print that out for you. We've also located one of the people from your world who was swapped for one of them, so we have an idea where to start looking. And I understand four criminals from your universe have so far jumped into mine, which means we have four presumably innocent civilians from my world to locate here as well. Is that right?"

"That's right," Chin Ho said. "And we have names for those four. We've got people compiling police reports on them right now. It should only take them another hour or two."

"Hours? For police records?" Steve echoed, dismayed. "Really?"

Danno stepped up. "Why don't we start with what you've brought. We can start printing it off. That will probably take a while."

Steve-B shrugged, took the typing paper Jenny had found for him and put a stack of it into his printer. He fiddled with his phone for a minute, then hit a button and the printer stirred and rattled and then started to spit out pages.

"...or maybe not," Danno conceded. "Your technology is really wild, you know that? What else does that thing," he gestured at the phone, "do?"

"In my universe? Lots of stuff. In this universe? Not much. It relies on an infrastructure that you simply don't have. It will tell time and you can look at pictures and watch videos that I have actually downloaded to the phone's memory, or that I've taken with the phone. I can take pictures or videos, use the clock and calculator and listen to music that, again, I have on the actual phone." Steve looked around and registered the dazed looks on the team's faces. "But, hey," he said, trying to make them feel better, "you guys have some pretty awesome stuff too. Like the classic cars! Let me tell you, they don't make them like that anymore. And great music. And what is this thing?"

"That?" Danno blinked. "What's that?"

"Yeah. This thing here. What is that?"

"It's...an electric typewriter."

"Really?" Steve was impressed. "I've heard of those!"

5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0

Five-0 Headquarters. Universe B. 2017.

Steve McGarrett laid out his four file folders neatly. They were thin-he'd left before they had time to compile much more than a list of names, a few rap sheets, and the results of interrogating the black market "travel agent" they'd arrested who had been one of the buyers of the stolen technology. He wanted a few minutes to compose himself before diving into the case and he wanted to get a better idea of how this team really worked.

Lou, Chin, and Kono were still gathered around the table. Danny had retreated to the office diagonally opposite his own and Steve could see him through the window pacing and waving his arms as he talked on the phone. Steve wondered if he was ever still and considered that it would be impossible to take him on a stakeout.

The desk he was sitting at was spotless and polished to a high gloss. On one corner there were two framed pictures, one of two women, one older and one younger, and a small girl. The other picture was of a distinguished older man in an HPD uniform. The walls were also covered with pictures and framed certificates and Steve rose and went around to look at them more closely.

There were several pictures that Steve attributed to his counterpart's military career, as well as a presentation flag in a frame and a number of medals and certificates for various achievements. He circled, studying them, and his eye was drawn to a framed picture from a newspaper, a large, likely front page picture with a headline below it. Danny Williams, in black tie and tails, stood next to two taller, dark-haired men who were similarly attired. The three men stood at attention in front of a small, white-haired lady. The headline read, "FIVE-0 LEADERS AND BRITISH AGENT HONORED BY THE QUEEN".

On the other side of the door there were several framed pictures of the Five-0 team, including one of the dark-haired men from the newspaper. This, then, must be his Universe B counterpart. Steve studied the man. He was younger, athletic, with an open, easy face. A couple of the pictures were just of Steve and Danny, laughing, with their arms around each other's necks. There was one picture of Danny, in a suit, and Steve, armed and wearing all black, flanking Grace Williams, who was wearing a formal. The three, arms firmly around one another, beamed at the camera while armed men and weeping, well-dressed teenagers milled around in the background of a decorated ballroom.

He paced a little more and found a grouping of children's crayon drawings, all carefully framed and proudly displayed. A crude drawing of a racecar was signed "Charlie" in awkward script. Under that, in pen, was written, "now that you have your own racecar, maybe you can let me drive mine sometimes." Under that was written in another hand, "as awesome as Charlie's car is, not a chance." One drawing, yellowed and obviously the oldest on the wall, featured three stick figures. A young girl figure held hands with a tall stick man clad in black. They stood next to a high bed where a yellow-haired stick figure lay under a white sheet. Squares beside the bed suggested machinery. It was inscribed by what looked to be a second- or third-grader.

"To Uncle Steve, Thank you for taking care of my Danno when he was sick. I love you. Gracie."

Steve McGarrett paced back to the desk, more puzzled than ever. One thing was certain about the relationship between these men. It was not simple.

5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0

Five-O Headquarters. Universe A. 1972.

Steve B had taken the reams of files his printer produced and gone into their Steve's office to sort them out. "It's only a small portable printer," he had said apologetically. "It doesn't collate."

With him gone, Jenny and the three junior members of the task force gathered around Jenny's desk and leaned in to talk.

"I'm telling you," Danno said, "this is the wildest thing I have ever seen. I don't even know what the craziest part of it is."

"I do," Kono said. "Did you see that picture of their universe's Danny Williams? He's got Steve's hairstyle. It's freaking me out, man!"

5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0

Five-0 Headquarters, Universe B. 2017

With their visitor lurking in Steve's office and Danny still in his own office, ranting at Eric, Chin, Kono, and Lou gathered around the smart table and leaned in close to talk.

"Did either of you notice," Chin asked, "that Alter-Steve has Danny's hairstyle?"

Kono nodded.

"Did I notice?" Lou echoed. "Heck, yeah, I noticed! And it's freaking me out, man!"