Disclaimer: In its use of intellectual property and characters belonging to JK Rowling, Warner Bros, Bloomsbury Publishing, et cetera, this work is intended to be transformative commentary on the original. No profit is being made from this work.

Beta Readers: GaeilgeRua

Prompt: Draco finds Hermione's BDSM challenge list.

Story Warnings: Explicit Sexual Content, Hard Kink, Strong Profanity, EWE, PWP, AU, snarky!Draco, sexgoddess!Hermione.

Prologue

Draco was sitting on the sofa, sorting the laundry to be washed the Muggle way – just as Hermione liked it – when a folded piece of paper fell from Hermione's jeans. Furrowing his brow, he reached down and picked the paper up. Opening it, his eyes widened.

"What in Merlin's name?" he muttered aloud, reading some of the items on the numbered list. "Spanking? Feather play? Collar?"

Draco couldn't believe what he was reading. Some of the things on the list were downright kinky. And he knew without a doubt that it was Hermione's list. It was certainly her handwriting.

Was this a list of things she wanted to try?

The door opened and he knew that Hermione was home. He turned, facing the doorway, smiling at his girlfriend of three years as she came into the room.

"Hey," Hermione greeted, smiling warmly at Draco. "What are you up too? Laundry?"

"Yeah, and I found something," Draco said, keeping his voice steady.

"You found someth—" The words died in her throat as she saw the piece of paper he was holding. "Draco, I can explain!" she said hurriedly, cheeks flushed.

"Hermione, you don't need to explain anything, or be embarrassed," Draco assured her. He stood up and crossed the room to her, paper still in hand. "If these are things you wanted to try, you could have just asked me."

"Really? You won't just go running for the hills?" Hermione teased, causing Draco to laugh quietly.

"No, and I don't plan on going anywhere, so if you're going to do any of these things, it'll be with me." Draco pressed his lips to hers, kissing her fiercely.

Hermione looked into his light grey eyes when he pulled away. "Are you sure about taking on the challenge list?"

"Absolutely positive, so bring it on," Draco responded, kissing her once more. "But after I get this load of laundry in the wash."

Hermione laughed. "I'll make dinner, then. Love you."

"Love you too," Draco responded, smirking at her. He couldn't wait to start the list.