Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Angel the Series.

Author's Note: This is a cracky-fic. I don't intend to take it too seriously, and I hope you won't either. I mean, due to my own hangups as a fic writer, I won't write it as cracky as it could be, maybe even should be, but it will be cracky. So please, read it with that in mind.

Author's Note 2: I've seen several fics recently that operate under the premise that the events of Buffy the Vampire Slayer were a video game, and now Xander is a playable character and starting a new game. They usually mix things up so 'Welcome to the Hellmouth' isn't the same. The premise is a little silly, to say the least, but some of the stories can be good, and even fun reads. The best one that comes to mind is "The Sunnydale Chronicles" by Knife Hand, but there are some others floating around out there of varying quality.

But anyway, they're all Xander-centric. And that's fine. But as someone who is obsessed with Amy Madison, I can't help but wonder 'What if Amy' in any common Buffyerse fandom trope, and so... here I am.

Thanks to Maria, on tumblr, for beta-reading

Sunnydale: Rise of the Coven

By Alkeni

Chapter 1: New Playable Character

"What? Where am I?" Amy shook her head violently and looked around her hurriedly, but despite a sense of disorientation, she didn't feel at all afraid. Which she really should, since she'd been plucked away from where she'd been, at the edge of Sunnydale, watching the whole town collapse into a crater to... here.

Of course, I can't exactly tell where 'here' is. She was surrounded by black. Not darkness. She could see fine... there just wasn't anything to see. An endless expanse of blackness and... that was it.

And why am I not freaking out? I shouldn't be calm. But I am. Why am I calm? Amy didn't take surprises well, and surprises that involved... whatever had just happened were pretty intense surprises that should be setting off every paranoid, defensive bone in her body.

And yet...

"Congratulations Amy Madison! Due to the unexpected popularity of your character, you have been added as a playable option!" A male-sounding voice rang out all around her, sounding like the announcer on a game show.

"What the fuck?" Playable character? What the-

"Oh, right," The voice said less exuberantly. "I keep forgetting I need to explain this part first." The voice paused for a moment, and then she heard the sound of a throat clearing. "Okay, so you're going to just believe all this because I don't feel like dealing with the usual freak out that happens when people realize that everything they know is a video game. I've had a long day and I'd like to get home at a reasonable hour."

"Wait, you're an announcer voice and you have a home?" Somehow, Amy couldn't question the claim the voice had just made - that everything she'd known was a video game. That just... made sense? Somehow?

"What, you think I live here? This is just my job. I have a twenty minute commute. Anyway, back on topic: Everything you know is a video game. Specifically a video game called 'Sunnydale', wherein the characters play themselves. It's complicated and technical and I really don't know all the details, but everything you remember in your life is either built in backstory or events of the game as played by another character."

"But," the voice went on, before Amy could think about what she was hearing, "because your character has been surprisingly popular - for the amount of screentime you had - among the fans, we released a new DLC where you get to be a playable character, and here you are. Speaking of, you get to pick your campaign."

Suddenly Amy found herself staring at a list of 'names' each one with a descriptor, all floating in front of her. Somehow, she knew that each one was a 'campaign', a basic set of assumptions underlying the universe of the game she was about to enter. The narrative operating principles and all that.

Basically, I get to pick what kind of story I'm gonna live in. fun.

"As a new character, you don't get to pick your genre. You have to play something set in base Sunnydale, but you still have a range of options."

I'll say so. Amy looked at the options in front of her. Her eyes lighted on one.

Standard Campaign

The Slayer arrives in Sunnydale, while at the same time a powerful master vampire threatens to rise. Can Sunnydale be saved? And what threat comes next on the horizon after that?

Slayer Options: Buffy Summers, Faith Lehane, Kendra Young

Customization Package Available: Slayer Amy Madison; Slayer Willow Rosenberg

"Wait, I could be a Slayer?" That would be an interesting possibility. She could have all kinds of super-strength and speed.

"If you wanted. You're the main character this time around, after all. But you can't be a Slayer and a witch at the same time. Game balance issues."

"Well then fuck that." Amy had no interest in giving up magic. She looked at the next one.

Rise of the Coven

Magic takes front and center, with witches as the main heroes and main villains. Form a coven in Sunnydale and combat other, invading covens. Hoard magical secrets and grow your power!

Potential Coven Members: Amy Madison, Willow Rosenberg, Tara Maclay, Jonathan Levinson

Customization Package Available: Warlock Xander Harris; Witch Buffy Summers

Amy didn't need to look at the rest. This was the one she wanted. One of her favorite moments in High School had been when she'd worked with Willow to cast that spell for Buffy's birthday. Because it had meant doing magic with Willow - who she'd still been crushing on so hard, at the time.

Of course, the whole thing was ruined a few days later by being nearly burned at the stake and getting stuck as a rat for three years, but still.

Besides, now I know that Willow is gay. Amy would be lying if she said, despite all her resentment of Willow, she still didn't wish things had gone down differently in High School. If she'd just known that Willow wasn't actually straight... And now...

She'd have the chance. And she'd get to stay a witch.

"I'm going to take this one." Amy said, gesturing to the 'Rise of the Coven' option.

"Alright then," the voice said. "Time to enter character customization. You have some points to spend, but you can't get rid of your locked traits."

"Locked traits?"

"Every character has three locked traits - one boon, one bane and one neutral trait. They're essential to your character and cannot be changed. But you can customize your stats, boons, traits, et cetera, beyond that, as you wish."

The campaign options in front of her vanished, to be replaced by a character sheet. A picture of her when she'd been in High School was off to one side, along with a number of stats - magical power, magical control, agility, luck, charisma. That sort of thing. Next to them were certain vital statistics – height, weight, eye color, and so on. Including sexual orientation. Which listed Amy's accurately as 'bisexual'. Damn right.

And then there were her traits. Amy took a look at her 'locked' traits, wondering what was 'essential to her character'.

Locked Boon: Magical Legacy

Coming from a long line of powerful witches, Amy gets a +3 Bonus to 'Magical Power' at character creation.

"Well, that's cool." Amy knew full well that her family was a long line of witches. She knew for sure at least back to a great-grandmother, and probably more. Of course, like Catherine, they'd all been evil little fucks... but still. Power. That was always nice.

Locked Trait: Dark Temptations

The dark legacy of Amy's ancestors gives Amy a +2 to all Dark Magic spells, but a -2 to all attempts to resist corruption and temptations in relation to Dark Magics and Dark Powers

"That - that's not fair, at all!" Amy protested. "I can resist just fine, thank you very much!"

"And who was it that was using magic to get out of homework assignments?" The voice asked, and Amy swore she could almost 'hear' a raised eyebrow in its tone. "And who went to Rack time and again? Face it Amy, you're on the edge sometimes, when it comes to dark magic."

"You have no idea what you're talking about," Amy muttered, but then moved on to look at her bane.

Locked Bane: Mommy Issues

Being raised by Catherine Madison has given Amy significant baggage. Amy begins play with Hyper-aware Defensiveness, and has a greater likelihood of manifesting paranoia.

"Great. Called out by a video game." Amy didn't bother arguing her bane with the voice. Not only was it going to be pointless, it seemed, but it wasn't like Amy didn't know. Mommy dearest had given her baggage.

Looking over her sheet, Amy decided where to spend her small allotment of character improvement points. She increased her dangerously low magical control score, and upped her charisma and agility by one point each. Then she bought off her 'unathletic' bane. Since she was improving herself for a re-do, might as well get rid of the little things that bothered her.

"Okay, so now what?" She asked the voice.

"Now you get to pick your party. You can pick three people to be your compatriots and allies. Later on, you'll be able to add people onto your party. You also will be allowed to customize your party members with a small pool of improvement points for them," the voice explained.

Before her were three slots, each one empty. She reached out and tapped one, and her 'screen' changed to zoom in on a whole selection of characters. She recognized a lot of people from Sunnydale High – Xander, Buffy, Jonathan, Cordelia, Oz, et cetera. And of course, Willow.

Well, she's the first pick.

As she waited for Willow's sheet to load, Amy had already decided that, if it was at all possible, she was going to change Willow's sheet so that the redhead knew she was gay in High School. Would save Amy a lot of time and energy.

And sure enough, when she got a look at Willow's sheet, she saw, among her other banes, 'Compulsory Heterosexuality.' The name basically said it all.

Amy bought that off immediately, watching the bane vanish from Willow's sheet. None of that now. Willow's gay, and she may as well be aware of it sooner.

Waiting to spend the rest of her points once she'd decided on her party, Amy looked at the roster of available characters. One of them caught her eye. Tara Maclay.

Briefly, Amy entertained the idea of adding the blonde Amy had met only briefly to her party. Since this campaign was supposed to be all about witches, having another witch in her party could only be a good thing, right?

But the idea was rejected as soon as she considered it. She wasn't going to risk Tara swooping in and stealing Willow. And what little she did know about the girl, largely inferred, was that Tara was kind of a magical stick in the mud. Amy could do without that, thank you very much.

But Amy did select a different blonde – Buffy Summers. Even if this campaign was going to be mostly about magic, some instinctive understanding of game logic – probably courtesy of the voice – suggested to her that it would be useful to have a Slayer on her team. The combat skill could afford her a certain amount of flexibility.

The third choice, though, was a lot harder. She looked over several characters, trying to decide what made them useful additions to the team. Xander was an obvious option, and his high luck stat meant he'd have a penchant for showing up in the right place at the right time. Cordelia offered social connections and money that could be exploited usefully. Oz had his insights and the option for her to make him into a werewolf from the start. Jonathon was another spell caster, and while his magical power was low, he had a high control score and high intelligence/research scores to go with it.

Amy considered those four and others. Idly, she wondered why Mr. Giles, Buffy's watcher and their librarian, wasn't an option.

After some time – Amy wasn't sure how much, since there wasn't a clock – she finally settled on picking Xander. She knew he would work with Buffy and Willow. She knew him. He was a safe choice for now.

With her points, Amy decided to focus on improving the character's strengths and rounding them out, rather than removing more of their banes. They all had some, locked and unlocked, ranging from Xander's 'Sometimes I Shouldn't Say Words'to Buffy's 'I Just Want To Be Normal'. But buying off a bane was expensive, and she'd already bought off one of Willow's. Maybe she could buy them off later.

So with her points, she increased Xander's self-confidence a little bit, improved his already high luck further, and gave him a point of perception. For shits and giggles (and for no point cost) she changed Xander's sexual orientation from 'heterosexual' to 'bisexual'.

For Buffy, Amy upped her endurance score and also bought her the 'Magical Resistance' boon, that gave her, as the name suggested, a bonus to resisting hostile magic. Together those increases should make it so Buffy could take more punishment.

When it came to Willow, Amy was somewhat hampered by Willow's locked trait: Untapped Potential.It meant that Willow couldn't start with any points in magical stats or boons at all, but that there would be a 50% discount when she increased Willow's magical skills with points earned through play.

Would explain how Willow always was able to do things faster and better than everyone else with less training. She has a built in cheat. Okay, so it wasn't a cheat, but close enough.

Still, after some consideration, Amy spent the last of the points upping Willow's self-confidence and wisdom scores.

"Do you wish to confirm these characters and begin play?" The voice asked, sounding just a little bored. "Please say yes, because it's getting close to closing time and I'd like to go home. I can't stay here, after all."

"Yes, fine, I'm ready to start." Amy said after a moment.

For a split second, Amy lost all sense of consciousness… and then….

The game began.