CHAPTER 19

This is the last chapter of this little saga. I hope I did Kristy's idea justice.

Two weeks later, Starsky was strong enough that the doctor decided he could return to Bay City. Rachel was disappointed to see her son leaving, but she knew it was time. She knew with Hutch at his side, he was in good hands. Their last night together was bittersweet, and a few tears were shed. Hutch lingered in the background, allowing mother and son to share their last evening together.

"I'm going to miss you," Rachel admitted with a tender smile.

"I know." Starsky smiled reassuringly. "But, we both knew this day was coming sooner or later. I love you, and I'll miss you too. But, Bay City is my home. It has been since I was fourteen."

"You have no idea how many nights I've regretted sending you away…" The sadness in her voice tugged at Starsky's heart.

"You did what you thought was best…and it was. If I'd stayed in New York, I'd probably have ended up another street punk just like Nicky."

"I tried so hard with your brother…but, he just wouldn't listen…and now it's too late."

"It's not your fault, Ma. Nicky made his own choices."

"A mother loves her children no matter what they become…but, as a mother, you also blame yourself when they turn out the way that Nickoli has. You ask yourself what you did wrong…were you a bad mother?"

"No, don't ever think that you were a bad mother," Starsky told her firmly as he grasped her hand tightly. "You had some hard choices to make, and you made the only ones you could at the time. I didn't understand that at the time but, I do now. I'm the man I am today because you were strong enough to send me away to save me from myself."

"When I thought you were dead and then Nicky disappeared too…I was so afraid I had lost both of my sons." A single tear fell down Rachel's cheek. "And it hurt so much…I just wanted to be with you both…I didn't think I could face the future alone…then I got the call from Nicky and your rings in the mail…and suddenly, there was hope…a miracle from God."

Unable to hold back any longer, Rachel began to cry heavily. Starsky gathered her in his arms and whispered comforting words of endearment in her ear. Hutch felt the burn of unshed tears in his own eyes. He felt like an intruder, eavesdropping on an intensely private moment between Starsky and his mother.

He locked eyes with his partner over Rachel's shoulder. Starsky smiled gently, consciously including Hutch in the moment. They had done their share of talking over the past few days, and Hutch had shared his own fears and insecurities.

Rachel composed herself and straightened up, brushing the traces of her tears from her face. "I'm sorry…you'll have to forgive a foolish old woman…"

"You're not foolish, and you're not old," Starsky told her.

"And you're a charmer just like your father. You're like him in so many ways."

Starsky smiled, but kept silent. All his life he'd heard how much he was like his father, both in appearance and in temperament. He had followed in his father's footsteps with pride. But, almost dying at an early age like his father had never been part of his plan. Coming so close, especially twice within the past year, had led him to believe that God still had something in mind for him.

Starsky may not have been as observant as he should have been, but he still celebrated the Hebrew high holy days. And he believed in God in his own way. As a child, Rachel had insisted that her sons attend Sabbath with her every week. Michael Starsky usually had to work, but he joined his family on the rare occasion when he had the day off.

When Starsky moved to California, he found himself in a curiously blended family with his uncle being Jewish and his aunt being a Gentile. The Holy days were still observed, but attending Sabbath was no longer required. Instead, he was exposed to the Gentile holidays of Christmas and Easter.

"Is Nicky back home?" Starsky asked.

"Yes, he came back last night. He said he met someone and was 'just getting to know' her." There was no bitterness in her words, just a weary acceptance of her youngest son's shortcomings. "I should go. It's getting late, and you have a long day tomorrow."

"I love you, and I promise to call every Friday, as usual," Starsky promised, keeping hold of his mother's hand as she stood up, then leaned back down to give him a final kiss goodbye.

"I love you too, baby." She let go of Starsky's hand and turned her attention to Hutch. She gave him a hug and a kiss. "I love you too. I know you will take care of him for me."

"You can count on it," Hutch promised her with a grin.

As she left the room, Hutch moved to take her place, sitting on the edge of the bed beside Starsky.

"She's right. Tomorrow's going to be along day. We should get some sleep."

Starsky nodded and both men prepared to turn in for the night. Tomorrow they would head home, to a life that would be different from the one they left behind. Too much had happened in the past few months to be ignored or forgotten. Starsky's future as a cop was still in question, but no matter how things turned out, the one thing that would never change would be the two of them, united as one, for the rest of their lives. Me and Thee…the motto they had lived by and would continue to live by, side by side.

THE END