A/N. Marichat because it is my favorite side of the love square.

-The Right Cattidude-

When the guy that slid into the stool next to her said he was Chat Noir, Marinette almost spat her drink out.

For a split second, she thought Chat had discovered her identity and had chosen to reveal himself to her, but she took one look at the guy and nope there was no way this douchebag was her Chat Noir. As he smirked what he probably assumed looked like Chat's signature smirk, Marinette spotted at least a dozen differences that instantly told her that he wasn't her Chat. For one, his teeth were slightly crooked, not like the flawlessly straight teeth that Chat flashed her during every patrol. Secondly, his eyes were green, but they weren't the right kind of green. True, Chat's eyes were more like a cat's with his green sclera, and when she was out of costume, the miraculous magic never allowed her to remember their exact shade, but she knew this wasn't it. Chat's eyes were brighter, somehow. Livelier. Always alight with laughter and mischief. All she saw in this guy's eyes was arrogance.

She downed the rest of her shot and turned to raise an eyebrow at the Chat impostor. Even his entire aura felt wrong. Chat could be cocky, yes, and sometimes it could be annoying, but never in the you-kind-of-want-to-make-me-punch-your-face-in kind of way. "Oh, right, and I'm Ladybug," she told him, hiding a smile at her own private joke.

"I swear, I'm Chat Noir. The only reason I'm telling you is because an akuma sent me back in time and I know you're the only one who will believe me. We need to go someplace more private so I can tell you all the details," he said. He waggled his eyebrows at her in a way that made Marinette think of a caterpillar having a seizure.

Marinette could feel Tikki giggling in her purse. Did some women actually fall for this kind of crap? She swept her gaze around the room before landing on Alya and Nino as they moved around on the dance floor. Looks like she's on her own with this one.

When she didn't answer right away, the guy mistook her silence for consideration and quickly reached for her hand. "Help meow-t?"

Oh hell no. Marinette felt everything inside of her recoil as she yanked her hand away from the impostor. "What the actual fuck?"

The guy blinked in surprise. "Is there a purroblem? What's with the sudden cattitude."

"Nope, nope, nope, I'm out of here," Marinette said, and quickly got off of the stool. She'd just text Alya that she decided to leave early. As she stood up to leave, the guy decided that spouting even more cat puns would get her to believe his story. It was flat-out wrong to hear Chat's puns come out of that mouth. Cat puns were her kitty's territory and only her kitty's territory, not this cheap knock-off's. "That was horrible. If some girl actually falls for that, I will officially lose faith in humanity," she managed to say to fake-Chat on her way out.

He gaped at her like he hadn't expected that kind of reaction from her. Heh, looks like a cat's got his tongue, she thought amusedly, how's that for a Chat Noir pun? She prayed that her infamous clumsiness wouldn't strike as she made her way out in the five-inch heels Alya insisted that she wear so that she could get Adrien's attention—not that it mattered since the blond had to cancel because of an extended photoshoot.

By the time she was back on the street, Marinette felt like every part of her exhaled at once. This is why she didn't go to clubs. In between the loud music and claustrophobia inducing stuffiness of the place, it was full of jerks that apparently have taken to turning one-half of Paris's superhero duo into a pick up line.

She ducked into an alley to transform so that she didn't have to walk home in her killer heels, but she quickly found out that she picked the wrong alley to duck into.

"Well look at what a pretty little lady stumbled in, fellas," one of the three guys crooned as they approached her.

Great, as if her night wasn't going badly enough. Three thugs with nothing more than a couple of switchblades were child's play to her, even without the Ladybug costume. She hadn't been fighting crime for the past three years for nothing. Maybe it would be good to let off some steam by taking it out on a few punks.

The first guy suddenly rushed towards her, switchblade glinting in the moonlight, and Marinette braced herself to dodge and go on the offensive when a shadow dropped on top of the man and knocked him out cold. The other two guys recoiled in shock as the figure rose up.

Of course, Marinette thought as she watched Chat extend his baton. Even as a civilian, Chat always had her back even if he didn't know it. "You okay, Princess?" he asked without looking back at her.

"I'm fine," she said, taking delight in the way the other two guys watched their exchange with fear. There was an anger in Chat's eyes that she'd never seen before, something hard and dangerous instead of the silly kitty she had grown to know.

"You have two options," he said, "you can get your ass handed to you or you can run." The two men ran and the anger in Chat's eyes faded to amusement. "Smart choice." He turned his attention to her, shooting her a slightly apologetic smile as he said, "Brace yourself, Princess."

"Brace myself for—Chat!"

He had swiftly picked her up bridal style and bolted himself over the roof after roof. The view was nothing that she hadn't seen as Ladybug before, but there was a different kind of thrill to this. As Ladybug, she trusted her yo-yo, her battle-tested reflexes, and her skill. She felt safer doing parkour as Ladybug than she did as Marinette crossing the street. Now, it was different. There was no mask, no yo-yo, no magical suit to protect her, but she didn't feel any less safe. Chat wouldn't drop her, she knew, and the leather beneath her fingers brought a different kind of comfort.

Before she knew it, she was on her balcony and Chat was setting her down gently. "Have a nice night and try to stay out of trouble, Princess," he said, and poised his baton to leave.

"Wait! Tell me a pun," she blurted out, and Chat paused as he blinked at her in surprise.

"What?"

"I—I", she stuttered and felt her cheeks begin to redden. She probably sounded like a crazy fan girl, but she couldn't exactly take it back now. "It's just that a guy in the club was hitting on me by saying he was you and using all of these really horrible cat puns that are nothing like yours because he doesn't say it right and now that you're here, I guess I just wanted to—"

"Meow-ch! Sounds like all the cats you Noir full of the wrong cattitude if you feel that strongly after a little chat," he said with a smirk that was so Chat Noir that it made her heart stutter in a funny way that didn't usually happen.

"Thank you," she said, surprised at how her voice was a little breathless.

His eyes lit up as his smirk faded into something more honest. He gave her a two-fingered salute and a wink before launching his baton. "Anytime, Princess," he said, then he disappeared into the night. Marinette stood there a second longer, eyes lingering on the place he had previously occupied before shaking herself out of the strange little daze that she found herself in.

"Stupid cat."

A/N. Dunno if I have plans to continue this, but it's been on my computer for a while and I figured I'd post it.

Please leave a review to let me know what you think and if you think that I should just leave this as a one-shot.

-Indy