Takeshi didn't know how, didn't know why, but he blamed Reborn for this. Possibly Lambo too. Either way, he did not appreciate to find himself in the future. He definitely didn't appreciate learning that Tsuna was dead in the future.

(He had so many questions and no one was answering them. Not to mention, examining the reasoning that probably landed them in the future, he really didn't like that thought process. It implied a level of ruthless in Tsuna that Takeshi didn't think was possible.)

Tsuna was strange, not cruel.

But still the future. The future where they're at war (and damn that was horrifying by itself) with another mafia family and Tsuna was dead. Dead and with a plan that used their younger selves like chess pieces and Takeshi hated this with the passion of his soul.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

He may have vented most of his frustration on Genkishi.

For the record, it was a short fight.

Genkishi was down for the count by the time Hibari showed up.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Then came the Arcobaleno Trials.

But mostly, Verde.

"You have got to be kidding me," Takeshi shouted. He shoved Tsuna behind him, sword leveled at Verde. "How many times do I have to tell you, stay away from Tsuna!"

Reborn blinked, confused. "How do you two know Verde?"

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

It was an odd twist of fate that Tsuna met Verde.

You could call it odd, if one considered the chaos theory in full effect to be odd. Personally, if asked, Takeshi would describe it as the stars aligning just right in a way that Tsuna got exactly what he wanted: someone who could teach him how to build robots and had the supplies to do so.

(To this day, Takeshi refused to ask how it happened. He could handle Dying Will Flames, babies not being real babies, even the mafia. He drew the line at giant robots.)

"Interesting," Verde said, pushing up his glasses. He hadn't expected his small detour to Japan to involve meeting a small child.

Twelve-year-old Tsunayoshi looked at him full of hope. Here was someone who could teach him how to build robots! This was such an amazing thing.

"Very well," Verde said. "Let me show you how to build a robot."

(Somewhere a chill ran down Takeshi's spine and he immediately scrambled to find Tsuna.)

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"Impressive," Verde said. "I didn't think you would pick it up so fast."

It had only been an hour since he had begun his lessons and Tsuna had surprisingly picked it up with ease. There in front of them stood a ten-foot-tall robot. Sure it had been half assembled, but under Verde's guidance, Tsuna had completed the program and framework.

Voila, one giant robot.

"I can't wait until we turn it on," Tsuna said, bouncing.

They didn't get a chance.

"Shajiku no Ame!"

Takeshi burst onto the scene, placing himself in between Verde and Tsuna. "Stay away from Tsuna!" Takeshi shouted. He shoved Tsuna behind him.

"Hmph, and who are you?" Verde said.

"Takeshi, we built a robot!" Tsuna said, beaming.

Takeshi glanced at robot; a look of apprehension forming on his face. "I can't believe you actually found someone to teach you that," he said with a grimace.

"We're about to turn it on!" Tsuna said, smile growing even wider.

Takeshi panicked. "No Tsuna. That's probably a bad idea."

"But," Tsuna started with a pout.

Takeshi shook his head, panic growing stronger. "Tsuna, it's the same reason why you and Hana aren't allowed to partner up in our science classes anymore. We don't need another plant frenzy incident, or the KO incident. Hibari-senpai hasn't forgiven us for the jello incident yet either."

Tsuna wavered, hesitating.

Takeshi went for the kill, pulling out his trump card. "Please, Tsuna. For me?"

Tsuna folded like a wet napkin. (It was a powerful trump card, not to be abused lest it lose its power). "If you think it's that bad of an idea," Tsuna trailed off, wistfully looking at the robot. "Maybe next time, Verde!"

Takeshi glared at Verde. "Stay away from Tsuna!" he hissed, herding Tsuna away.

Namimori didn't need giant robots.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"Verde!" Tsuna said, pushing himself forward and out of Takeshi's protective stance. "I finally found a good chance to power up the giant robot! It worked brilliantly and Xanxus didn't stand a chance!"

Verde smirked, light bouncing off his glasses. "Is that so? Excellent. Better late than never." He tilted his head, looking at the group. "Why don't I give you my seal, we'll skip the trial and we can build a bigger giant robot?"

"Sure!" Tsuna said with a wide smile.

"No!" Takeshi said at the same time.

"But Takeshi!" Tsuna wailed. "What do you have against robots?"

Everything! Tsuna's grand plan was learn how to build robots and then replace himself with one. That was the highest level of bad ideas ever! Takeshi liked Tsuna for Tsuna. Not because he was a robot!

"A giant robot does sound cool," Gokudera said thoughtfully. "I mean, we saw how it beat Xanxus. Maybe we can use them against Byakuran."

Damnit Gokudera. You weren't helping!

"Then it's settled," Verde said with a smirk. "Let's go build some robots."

"It'll be fine, Takeshi!" Tsuna said, reassuring his best friend.

Takeshi grit his teeth. No, no it wouldn't be. He vowed to destroy any robots built today. It didn't matter how much Tsuna cried. For the sake of his own sanity and for Tsuna's safety, all robots were being destroyed today.

He turned to glare at Reborn, still convinced that this entire nightmare of traveling to the future and dealing with these trials was the hitman's fault. "I have spent the last two years trying to keep Verde out of Namimori because he kept trying to kidnap Tsuna as his robot building assistant. I should have known that he was your friend."

Reborn scoffed, miffed. "Verde isn't my friend."

"When we're overrun by giant robots, I will blame you," Takeshi said.

Colonnello twitched. "You know, we should probably keep an eye on them. Make sure they aren't going overboard."

Finally! Another voice of reason!

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"-then I had to spend all my time washing glitter out of my hair and praying the police didn't catch onto what Tsuna was doing."

Asari nodded sympathetically. "That sounds just like Giotto. There was a time where Giotto had this brilliant idea to break into people's houses to steal their left shoe. Don't ask me why or how, but their left shoe. And he somehow got Alaude to help him."

"You mean it's genetic?!" Takeshi blurted out.

"Looks like it," Asari said, patting Takeshi on the shoulder. "I don't even need to test your resolve. If you haven't run for the hills by now, I doubt you will later down the road. In fact, let me just give some pointers on redirecting your Sky's attention."

At least someone understood!

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"The first boss of Shimon was betrayed by Vongola Primo and left him to die," Enma said.

Before he could continue, the entire room was slammed with Rain Flames. Everyone staggered, energy instantly drained.

"What is this pressure?" Adelheid asked, struggling to remain standing.

"First off, did you have to stab me, Kaoru?" Takeshi said, stepping into the room.

"Takeshi! You shouldn't be out of bed!" Tsuna called out.

"And let this insanity run rampant?" Takeshi shouted back. He turned back to the Shimon Family, the pressure of his Rain Flames increasing. "Second, you should check your history books!"

He still couldn't believe Tsuna was going through with this madness, but stopping Tsuna was always an exercise of patience, especially since Takeshi had spent the last several days in bed. Who knew what kind of plans Tsuna came up without Takeshi around to keep an eye on him? (Plus, everyone else was utterly useless in stopping Tsuna.)

And since Tsuna was determined to be a mafia boss, Takeshi had spent those last several days in bed, pouring over Vongola's many treaties and history books, taking note of allies and enemies. Asari had been a great help, popping out of the ring as Takeshi had loudly complained over the terms that some of the treaties had in place.

("Why do we have a treaty with Dino's family to send him ten baskets of apples and he'll send us back ten baskets of bananas?"

"Because Giotto liked banana bread and we had too many apples."

"...Really."

"Yes. You should see the strange treaty we had with Cozarto.")

Takeshi paused. "Unless this is about how you've been missing out about 200 years of cake and crossdressing opportunities. We can do something about the cake, but I'm not letting you take Tsuna out on crossdressing dates."

Enma blinked. "What?"

"Ask your ancestor!" Takeshi shouted. "If you're here about the cake, Shimon owes Vongola 200 years' worth of wine and crossdressing opportunities. Heaven knows what Giotto and Cozarto were thinking when they made that treaty."

"They weren't. They were actually quite drunk that day," Asari said, popping out of his ring. "And really, the crossdressing was for Daemon, not Giotto. He lost a bet with Elena."

Julie twitched in the background.

"...I can't believe I'm saying this, but Mukuro could pull it off," Takeshi said, glancing over at the Mist Guardian. Mukuro predictably flipped him off.

"Daemon made a pretty lady as well," Asari said agreement.

Julie twitched harder in the background. "That's not what this is about!"

Takeshi stared at him for a brief moment before turning to Tsuna. "Tsuna, did you go ahead with your Plan Celebration even though I told you not to?"

Tsuna, the only person still standing under the pressure of Takeshi's Rain Flames, shifted nervously. "Maybe…" His eyes darted back and forth. "It was a good idea, Takeshi!"

"Go ahead and push the button," Takeshi said.

Tsuna jumped for joy. "Really?"

"Is that such a good idea?" Asari asked.

"Controlled chaos is always the better choice," Takeshi said.

Tsuna pulled out a box with a red button promptly hitting it. As the giant robot burst through the wall, Takeshi ushered Tsuna out the door.

"Ehh? But shouldn't we stay to watch?" Tsuna asked.

"I'll buy you ice cream," Takeshi said. He didn't want to be in the room when Plan Celebration went off.

"Oh, okay!"

Explosions went off behind them.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

No one spoke of what happened in that room after Tsuna and Takeshi left. It did result in Reborn, scowling and firing real bullets at Takeshi who calmly deflected them.

"I hate you," Reborn said. His hair dyed a bright orange.

"Now you know how I feel," Takeshi shot back.

Enma had appeared several days later, sparkling in the sun from what Takeshi assumed was glitter. He apologized to Tsuna about the misunderstanding and left in a daze.

"Daemon appeared out of nowhere, swearing about how Giotto's craziness was genetic," Asari said, appearing a few hours of Enma. "I tied him up and left him to Giotto's tender mercies. Maybe he'll stop being a pain after this."

"I destroy my enemy by making them my friend," Takeshi said. "If Giotto is anything like Tsuna, that will be fairly easy."

"How long until everyone stops being angry at you?" Asari asked.

"I give it a couple more days," Takeshi said, flipping through his manga. He was hiding on the rooftop of the local department store. Tsuna was suitably distracted with a sniper rifle he had stolen from Reborn's stash. "I have Tsuna with me and I'm his favorite."

A crack followed by the crisp breeze of frost drew their attention. Takeshi blinked, looking at the now frozen bird laying across the rooftop.

"Did you just convert that into a freeze gun?" Takeshi asked.

Tsuna grinned, bouncing in excitement. "Yes!"

Takeshi looked up to the sky. "I shouldn't be surprised anymore. I shouldn't."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"So, let me get this straight," Takeshi said slowly. "There's someone, the Man in the Iron Hat, who picks Arcobaleno and he has offered a trial to return you back to your adult selves?"

Hah! He knew it. There was no way Reborn and his friends were real babies.

"Basically, yes," Fon said.

"And what happens to the rest of you?"

The entire room froze.

"Um, I guess we remain stuck?" Skull said.

"Hmm, and what happened to the previous Arcobaleno? Do you know any previous Arcobaleno who went through this trial and returned to their former station in life?" Takeshi asked.

Sometimes he wondered about the type of logic the mafia used. Surely these types of questions had to have been asked before.

"No," Reborn said with a frown. "No one knows any of the previous Arcobaleno."

See, Reborn was a jerk. (Which, again, Takeshi would never say to his face because that was rude. He was pretty certain Reborn knew that Takeshi thought of him though.) But that didn't mean Takeshi wanted him dead. That was the most likely end result of this trial.

(And Tsuna would crushed if Verde died. The others too, but Verde was still teaching him how to build even bigger giant robots.)

Well, there was only one way to handle this.

"Tsuna," Takeshi said, turning to his best friend. "You have my permission to improvise."

"Really?!" Tsuna gasped, tackling Takeshi in a hug. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" He grabbed Spanner and Shoichi and dragged the two startled teens out of the room.

"Why did you do that?" Hibari said, jumping to attention, eyes wide.

The entire room grew quiet at the realization that Hibari was panicking.

Takeshi smiled serenely at him. It was nice when other people panicked over Tsuna's strangeness instead of Takeshi. Pulling out his phone, Takeshi fired off a text message to his dad to leave town for the next couple days. It was going to get dangerous in Namimori.

"VOI! What did you do?" Squalo shouted at Takeshi.

Everyone looked nervously at Takeshi.

"The last time I gave Tsuna permission to improvise," Takeshi said slowly. "We were working on a project for our Japanese Literature Class. We had to write a short story."

"Tsuna decided the best way to write a story was to acted it out in real life. For the record, our story was about aliens invading and zombies fighting back. There were tiny little drones flying around Namimori, firing lasers at people. He infected about 80% of our school with his 'zombie' virus. It was a warzone for about oh a week, absolute chaos. About one fifth of the town had been destroyed in the process, the hospital was packed for days and everyone gained a healthy dose of fear of Tsuna," Takeshi said mildly.

His smile grew wider at the look of horror on everyone's face. "We were eight. Tsuna didn't have the skills to build giant robots back then. Even what Tsuna did during the Sky Ring Battle won't compare. Even Plan Celebration wasn't that bad as far as Tsuna's ideas go."

"Oh my god," Colonnello said.

"You're kidding," Enma said, pale. "Worse than Plan Celebration?"

"Go and stop him!" Hibari hissed.

Takeshi checked his watch. Fifteen minutes had passed. "Well there's no stopping him at this point. Best to wait for the explosions."

"I'm starting to question your sanity," Reborn said flatly.

Takeshi refused to respond to that.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Namimori was up in flames. Not Dying Will flames, but normal regular flames. The sounds of explosions drowned out the screams from of the civilians fleeing for their lives and a giant robot crushing buildings in the distance. Scouters flew around, blades whirling and lasers powering up. A cloud of blue glitter was launched into air as the giant robot launched its canon.

From the safety from a hill overlooking Namimori, everyone watched in horror. Hibari was knocked out by Takeshi's Flames, sedated as his beloved town was destroyed into pieces.

"What the fucking hell," Xanxus said.

"Reborn would have won by default if this was what Tsunayoshi is capable of," Skull said.

Takeshi sat sipping tea, watching the carnage unfold.

A pillar of Sky Flames rose to the sky before it crystallized into ice. The giant robot threw something in their direction, and seconds later, a pair of Vindice agents came flying at them. Takeshi slammed them with his Rain Flames, ensuring they're knocked out.

"How are you doing that?!" Lal demanded to know.

Takeshi gave her a flat look. "I have to keep up with that," he said, gesturing to the chaos.

"I think we should still be out there helping Juudaime!" Gokudera said.

"You're welcome to go," Takeshi said.

Another explosion, a crack of lightning, followed by a cloud of purple smoke rose in the distance.

"On second thought," Gokudera said, sitting back down.

"How long is this going to last?" Reborn asked.

Takeshi shrugged. "As long as it takes Tsuna to find the Man in the Iron Hat."

Right on cue, the Man in the Iron Hat came crashing into the ground in front of them. The pacifiers of the Arcobaleno began to glow before shattering into pieces, engulfing everything in light. As it faded away, gone were the babies and in their place, adults.

"We're back?" Skull said in disbelief. He patted his body down, not really believing it.

"Takeshi!" Tsuna came out of nowhere, holding a golden jar with seven glow flames. "Look, look! I figured out how to break the curse," he said smug like a cat bring home a dead mouse.

Takeshi patted Tsuna on the head. "Good job," he said.

"Impossible, how," the Man in the Iron Hat said. His disguise faded away, leaving behind his true identity, Kawahira.

"It's Tsuna," Takeshi said. Why no one believed him, he never knew. But maybe now after this incident, everyone will have a healthy dose of fear and respect for Tsuna. If people listened to him more when he warned them against Tsuna's strangeness, that was a good bonus too.

Most likely not, but Takeshi could dream.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

-Ten Years Later-

"Is it… always like this?" their newest hopeful ally asked.

Takeshi looked in the direction the don was pointing in. The wall of the living room was gone, the outside covered in a blanket of green snow. In the distance, Gokudera launched a bomb at Ryohei only for Ryohei to kick it up into the air. Before the two could react, a shot of Sky Flames came from the second floor, encasing them in ice.

"Yes," Takeshi said with a wryly smile. "You learn to roll with the punches."

Ahaha I wasn't gonna add another chapter but you guys fed the plunny enough so here we go. Careful Takeshi, it's a slippery slope -snicker-

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