a/n: After seeing so many amazing Harry Potter and FMA crossovers, I decided to try my hand at one. The story follows the Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood/manga timeline. Most of the perspective is Ed-centric. (Rated T just to be safe).

Oh, right, I do not officially own Harry Potter or Fullmetal Alchemist, unless you count buying all of the movies/books/manga as owning it. My greatest thanks go out to J.K. Rowling and Hiromu Arakawa who created these two amazing worlds, and also to my friend Blake. I was going to have him read over this first, but he was diagnosed with cancer, so this story goes out to him.

Anyway, I really hope you guys like this, as it contains many of the things I would want to see if Ed ever did really come across Hogwarts.

Chapter 1: How to Bribe an Elric

"The hell is this, Mustang?! Transfer orders? The war's finally over!" Edward yelled as he kicked down the door and came storming into Roy's office a month after Father's defeat. Roy stayed relaxed, feet up on his desk, as Fullmetal slammed the papers Mustang had sent him onto the wooden surface with a harsh bang.

"Fullmetal," Roy started. "Sit down and we can talk about this."

"No way am I leaving now!" The blond Alchemist interrupted before he could go any further, "Al's finally back!"

"Are you volunteering to be a paper pusher, Fullmetal? There are plenty of documents that need looked over and organized."

This shut the short-tempered young man's mouth as surely as if someone had taped it closed. He muttered something about "Hot-headed–" that Roy didn't catch, but the blond sat down.

"I don't see why I can't keep helping with the restoration efforts." Ed grumbled, his stubborn streak refusing to be beaten down as he crossed his arms and legs in front of him.

"You know as well as I do, Fullmetal, that there isn't much work left to do with all the help they've been getting from a certain golden-haired duo that were supposed to be taking it easy instead of working over-time." The short glare the flame alchemist sent at Ed was easily met by those dominating golden eyes. "A request from a foreign country has come in asking for an alchemist to–"

Roy got no further, as Ed abruptly shot out his seat again. "Foreign country!" He spluttered. "Why should I go help some other country? I'm in the Amestrian military, remember?"

"I know that, but the higher-ups thought it would be good to start reaching out to other countries as allies. We're not exactly at full strength right now, if you hadn't noticed, Fullmetal. What would happen if one of our neighbors decided to invade?" Roy placated, gesturing at the regional map on the wall behind him.

"General Armstrong would never let anyone past Briggs." The elder Elric objected. "Drachma–"

"Isn't stupid enough to try anything…yet, but what about the nations south of us? We know Xing won't attack, but they can't exactly come help if a war breaks out– there's a desert in the way."

"Yeah, but–" Whatever Edward would have said next was stopped by the sound of a gun being cocked.

"Stop arguing and let the Colonel explain the details, Edward." The voice of Riza Hawkeye came floating over from the adjacent room, causing the defiant light in the state-alchemists' eyes to die. Both men shivered unconsciously before continuing with the conversation in a decidedly more productive and polite manner.

Riza took a sip from her cup of coffee and smiled as if enjoying the flavor, and if any of Team Mustang noticed how her other hand was still hovering over the loaded gun sitting on her desk, no one said a word.

"Alright, so maybe it's a good idea to investigate other countries," Ed conceded. "But why would you send me? I'm not exactly fond of the 'diplomatic' approach."

"You can at least act friendly, can't you? Don't answer that." Roy quickly added, seeing the young alchemist about to interject with most likely another objection. "The requested job requires both a wide spectrum of alchemic knowledge and combat expertise. Believe me, I would love to send someone else, but as far as state alchemists go, you're the one that fits the bill."

"Combat expertise?" Ed raised an eyebrow. "What do they want me for? Don't tell me I'm supposed to join So-in-so's military."

"You know our military wouldn't let you go that easily. No, apparently, a convicted murderer is on the loose, and the request asked for someone who could provide extra security."

"You're kidding me." Ed deadpanned. When he realized Mustang was serious, he wasn't too happy. "Why do I always get saddled with the psycho killers? What's in it for me if I take this?"

Roy was silent. The Flame alchemist let his gaze wander up and down his subordinate, determining how far he would have to go. "A two week vacation when you get back."

Ed cocked an eyebrow. "Two weeks?" He waved the words away. "I could get that on my own easily enough. Besides, I don't know if I could sit still that long."

"No annual assessment while you're away." Roy tried.

"I would be in a foreign country." The young alchemist laughed at Mustang's attempt to bribe him. "I doubt the higher-ups will make me take it anyway."

Roy intertwined his fingers, resting his chin against his hands. He had one last card. "You are researching chimera reversal, correct?"

"Yeah…" Ed narrowed his eyes with suspicion. Would Mustang bribe or threaten him?

"…They have offered to give you access to the largest library in their country."

~o(0)o~

That was how, two months later, Edward Elric– State Alchemist, Hero of the People– ended up on a train traveling further and further away from the country he knew so well and closer towards one he could hardly guess at its contents. Ed's old suitcase sat on the seat beside him, but even the familiar leather seemed different this time.

I wish Al could have come. He thought glumly as he stared at the rapidly moving countryside beyond the train. Traveling isn't nearly as fun without him. Still, Edward understood why his brother hadn't come along; the younger Elric was still recovering from his ordeal coming back from the Gate, and he could barely manage to move around the house by himself– much less travel around the world for a military he didn't belong to!

He looked down at the letter held in his gloved hand, his gaze sweeping over the fancy writing in the now-familiar language he had already read a thousand-and-one times, as if it would suddenly change into something different. Hopefully less insane, The golden-haired alchemist thought absently. Even if it did, there was nothing he could do about it now: he was already on his way to meet one Albus Dumbledore of Hogwarts School (absurd name) of Witchcraft and Wizardry (like he believed that) to comply to his request for an…alchemy teacher.

a/n: Tune in next time to see Ed accidentally knock out Dumbledore and consequently be forced to impersonate him for the rest of the Harry Potter series!...Just kidding. Though now that I think about it, that wouldn't make for a bad story...