Author's Note: I'll be honest I'm not too crazy about this chapter I re-wrote it a couple times. For this story I decided to slow down the pace of Bella and Carlisle's relationship. Let me know what you think. I'm currently working on Chapter 3. Sorry about the notification there was an issue updating.

Chapter 2 - What's the reason for your happiness?

The sky was its usual shades of gray and covered by clouds that would soon release raindrops. Despite the bumper to bumper traffic on my way into the city I arrived at the doctor's office with some time to spare. I parked in a nearby garage and slipped into a café across the street just as the rain started. It wasn't busy only one person waiting for their order, and a few more seated at the tables scattered across the room. I walked up to the counter and placed my order.

Although, it wasn't busy there were no empty tables, empty spots at tables yes, but I wasn't in the mood to sit at a table with a stranger. Looking around I found and empty spot at the bar, next to a guy with curly blonde hair reading a book.

"Hey," I greeted him politely before sitting down at the corner of the bar, and placing my coffee, phone and egg and cheese bagel on the counter. "Hello," he nodded in my direction only slightly turning his head. The little café's walls were red with gold trim and black lettering all around the room to what looks like poetry and/or song lyrics. There's a stage and I wonder what kind of shows they have here. I made a mental note to check this place out again after I moved.

My phone vibrated loudly on the bar top, I quickly snatched it up to lessen the amount of noise it was making. Jacob's name came across my screen, I sighed before picking it up. "Hello."

"Bella, where are you?!" his voice dripped with irritation. I rolled my eyes. "I told you already I had to come to Seattle to finish some last-minute things for graduation." Even though I was annoyed I still felt a ping of guilt for lying to him. "This couldn't wait until I could go with you" He bit out.

"I didn't ask you to come Jay I knew you'd be busy," I answered more calmly than I felt. I took a deep breath and felt I wave of calm settle over me. The blonde-haired guy's phone next to me rang and he answered it. His voice deep with a slight southern twang. "Who the hell is that!?"

Jacob growled on the other end of the phone. I turned my back to the blonde worried he could hear Jacob. "No one." I hissed in embarrassment. "I'm at a coffee shop eating breakfast, alone." I added. I had no desire to have this conversation with him. "Look I'll be here until after graduation. I'll call you later." I hung up before he can say anything else. I turned back around to face the front of the bar. My elbow knocked over my coffee cup and spilled it all over the book the man sitting next to me was reading. I watched in horror as the puddle of coffee grew larger. "Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry," I told him taking action and patting dry the coffee with a napkin.

I lifted the book and he watched coffee drip off the corner before taking it out of my hands. "No worries darlin'," he wiped the back of the book with a napkin. "I'm so sorry," I murmured my cheeks red with embarrassed. "Thank you," he smiled at me timidly, while I handed him a napkin. "I'm Jasper," he didn't offer his hand. "Bella." I smiled. He placed his book in the now dried spot.

"Cold Mountain, isn't that about the Civil War?" He smiled wider. "No, it is set in the Civil War era."

"There's a movie too," I stated more like a question. He rolled his eyes, but the smile was still present on his face. "Ah, you're the prefer the book, and look down on the movie kind of guy?" He arched an eyebrow "You're one of those I'll just wait until the movie comes out kind of girls? I scoffed, and he chuckled.

"It seems we've both assume things that are untrue about each other." "I like books," I shrugged. "I like movies," he shrugged. We both laughed. I took a bite of my bagel its already cool after the interruption from Jacob and spilling my coffee. I wasn't much of a coffee drinker until moving to Seattle, and now I need it to function. Another cup of coffee was placed beside me. I looked up in confusion "I didn't order this." Jasper bumped my shoulder. "I ordered it for you, it was nothing." He said quickly before I could reply. "Enjoy your day Bella."

I finished my bagel, and worked on some designs for a building AG4 is working on. No one will never ask an intern for the ideas on the building but I plan to use it as practice. Ten minutes before my appointment I was in the waiting room.

The waiting room was white and sterile, it reminded me of a hospital or a mental health institute where they try not to stimulate the patients with too many colors. It smelled like leather and wood polish the place is clean almost too clean. That didn't help my nerve going into this. Everything was too in order, nothing out of place. The magazines on the table were neatly fanned out equally spaced out too it looked. What would happen if I moved the Vogue magazine a few inches? What kind of chaos would that introduce?

I slightly rotated the Vogue magazine now satisfied with a little disorder. The sound of the receptionist quietly typing into her computer was the only sound in the room. It made me uncomfortable afraid to move, cough, or even swallow, as not to disturb the silence. Damn it! I need to cough.

I try my best to hold it in as much as I can, but I can feel it creeping slowly up my throat tickling and scratching, trying to reach the surface. I cover my mouth and just let it out. The typing stopped and I looked up to find the receptionist staring at me, I offered her a small smile, but flipped her the bird in my head. After a moment the typing was back, but the more that I think about it the typing and the silence contradicted each other, yet both were present in the small room. It was like the silence sat across from me, to mock me with conniving smiles, and alluring expressions. I mentally shake off those thoughts, sometimes I let myself get too carried away, because the quiet makes me nervous, or my mind is always restless.

I don't know. I have issues, that's why I'm sitting in the psychologist office waiting to see the doctor. I drove all the way from Seattle to come here, in hopes no one from Forks or worse La Push would see me. My boyfriend Jacob was out hanging out with his friends from around the reservation again. So, he wouldn't be able to question where I've been. I'm hoping this will work.

"Ms. Swan." I looked up at the sound of my name being called. A tall man above 6' with blonde hair, and unique yet beautiful golden eyes calls me over to him. "I'm ready to meet with you," he smiles and my breath hitches. I walk over to him, folding Jacob's jacket I'm borrowing over my arm and hold out my hand. "Thank you, Dr. Cullen." His cool hand slips into mine, and I shiver as tiny jolts of electricity run through our connected hands. I looked up into his eyes and he stared at me in a way that was familiar. I've seen some of the Quileute boys look this way. He cleared his throat and dropped my hand. "No problem." He smiles softly and opened the door wider inviting me in.

"Have a seat. Would you like any coffee?" He asked me while ushering me to the couch. He smiled as he waited for me to sit before he gracefully folded his long body into the one sitter. He wasn't big just long with a swimmer's build. I shake my head in the negative, trying to ignore the feelings I felt with his hand on my lower back. "No thanks."

He nods and pulls it slightly closer to me. I nervously tap my fingers against my leg. As I watch his golden eye assess me intently. He scribbles a couple of things on his notepad before looking back up at me, with a smile. "So, Ms. Swan how may I assist you?"

"Call me Bella."

"Alright Bella. What brings you in today?" I didn't think about how embarrassing it would be to sit down and talk about my particular kind of problem with a therapist. My eyes searched around the room, deliberately not making eyes contact. "I-I'm.. I have a problem." I sighed without continuing. He didn't say a word he waited patiently. I lifted my eyes to look at him his facial expression open, and curious, his eyes kind. He was silently watching me; it was both unnerving and excited.

"You're nervous," it wasn't a question but I nodded anyways. "What are you nervous about?"

"I don't want you to judge me," and I think your hot I added in my head. He looked taken back. "Why would you think that?" I looked up at him wide eyed it sounded like he was answering my unspoken comment before I realized he wasn't. I looked down at my lap and focused on playing with my hands. "My issue is very personal and aren't we all afraid to admit weaknesses or fears. "He leaned back into his chair. "I understand, but this is a judgment free zone. You're safe here. OK?" He asked his voice softening. I nodded my head.

"Ok, let's start with lighter conversation. Do you have any pets?" "No," his eyes narrowed slightly and if I wasn't looking at him so closely I won't have noticed. "No dogs?" I eyed him suspiciously, why would he ask that? "No, I'm not much of a pet person," I replied.

He smiled, and I melted into the sofa with what I'm pretty sure is the goofiest grin on my face. God, he's so gorgeous. But, I have a boyfriend Jake, and that made me feel the guilt from lying to him all over again.

"Are you in school?" He scribbled something onto his note pad, and placed it down coming over to the couch and sitting on the opposite end of the couch. "I'll be a student for a few more days. "What are you studying?" He folded his long leg over his knee. I smiled perking up. "Architecture." I loved designing and building, buildings and I loved talking about it. "Architecture, wow." He said looking impressed. My chest warmed at the thought of making this beautiful stranger proud of me.

I talked about my favorite buildings and dreams of designing something on all 7 continents, we discussed places I'd like to travel, and places he's seen. I talked about my mom and dad and transitioning with living from one to the other. Living with Charlie was much different from Renee. My mother was very spirited, passionate, and a little flaky. She was moved by a lot of things and wanted to experience everything the world had to offer. That didn't make her a bad person just a tad bit irresponsible. I was more than happy when she found Phil, my step father keeps her grounded, and she keeps him young even though she's older. My father on the other hand is my best friend and had been for as long as I can remember. We talked almost every night on the phone, and I would visit him every summer. Our relationship only got stronger when I came to Forks to live with him. Carlisle listened to my tales of living with divorced parents, he asked questions, made remarks, and not once did he pick up his note pad.

He told me about his family, he lives with his cousins and their significant others. They lost their parents in the same accident during a vacation and they really grew close while in the system.

Carlisle had just told me a hilarious story about his cousin Emmett. I was in the middle of a gut wrenching laugh when I noticed he stopped laughing. He had that same look on his face an emotion I couldn't quite decipher. "What?" I asked feeling nervous. "Your laugh is beautiful," he beamed at me. My heart skipped a beat. "Thank you," my face heated up with a blush. Throughout our conversation I hadn't noticed how much closer we were moving towards each other. We now sat in the middle of the couch, almost mirroring each other. His left leg and my right leg folded underneath us, our bodies facing each other. His elbow on the back of the couch and his head rested in his hand, he looked comfortable and very much at ease. But really drew my attention was my right hand sitting on top of his knee. Oh my Gosh! How did my hand get there!? He must think I'm such a creep. Did he even notice?

I removed my hand from his leg and scratched my eyebrow so it wouldn't be too obvious.

He cleared his throat and picked up his clipboard and pen, and just like that our roles were once again defined. He's my therapist, and I'm his patient. He scribbled a couple of things down.

"How is your relationship with your boyfriend?" It may have been my imagination but the word boyfriend sounded as if it strained him to say. I mentally sighed I had almost forgotten the reason why I was here. The conversation between us had flowed so easily and he seemed genuinely interested. But, then again wasn't it his job to be interested in my mental health.

"Jacob is… Jacob and I are," I sighed heavily. "As cliché as it sounds we're complicated." He raised an eyebrow challenging he wasn't going to accept my vague answer. My fingers tapped lightly on my knee. "Well, he's different or maybe I'm different too."

"How about we start with when things changed between you two?" I turned around, my back leaning against the couch. I stared at the certifications and plagues lined on the wall behind his desk.

"The trouble started about 3 months after he joined the police department. The first 3 months he was attentive he'd call, text and made time to see me even more so than he originally did. Then afterward he'd still call and text but he stopped showing up." I shrugged. "We fight a lot more now, sometimes over little things and he gets so angry. I shook my head lost in my story. "So, so angry his whole-body shakes." I crossed my arms over my mid-section and my left leg bounces up and down.

Turned to look at him. His eyes still so kind, so concerned it makes my own eyes sting. "I'm not happy, but I'm not my mother."

He leaned forward to catch my eye. "Why would you need to clarify that?"

"Because I my mother is flighty, and Forks is a small town everyone knows my mom left my dad and that he still 'til this day loves her so much. I've heard the whispers, they expected me to leave too. When Jacob and I got together they expect me to leave him. My father is a police man married to his job at the time, and tied to the town, and now Jacob is an officer too. I have no problem with staying in Forks, and settling down but I want to see the world too. Ultimately, I-," I took a deep breath, and looked at Carlisle the beginning of tears streaming down my face.

I averted my eyes again. "I – I don't even know if you're the right kind of doctor for this problem, but I wouldn't know who to go to I mean are there specialist therapist for sex related issues, would you need a prescription for it, or can you just go, or is that something you can help me with, because I think there's something really wrong with me and he looks at me like it my fault. I can't help-." My rambling stopped when I felt a cool hand on my knee. I looked up to find gold eyes staring at me, still so kind. "Take a breath, Bella." I did, my shoulders dropped as I released the breath.

He placed his clipboard behind him and ran his fingers softly under my eyes and wiped away the tears I didn't realized were streaming down my face. "It is not your fault," he whispered his hands still framing the sides of my face. I sniffled lightly. He let go of my face and pulled he into a hug.

"I tried, I have been trying," I spoke my face buried in the crook of his neck. One of his hands gentle stroked my hair from scalp down to the ends, while the other held me close to him. Something changed in that moment a new part of my unlocked. The most intense feeling of belonging, enveloped me. A feeling of almost overwhelming contentment I've never experienced settled over me. I felt a warmth travel from the chest to up to my head and down to the tips of my toes. My skin tingled as the hairs all over my body stood on end. Every single beat of my heart had meaning. My fingers curled against the back of his crisp baby blue long sleeve shirt.

"Wow, I feel better." I said pulling away from him. "I didn't think I'd make any progress the first session." He didn't respond his eyes were wide, and glued to mine, his lips slightly parted. I frowned and started to scoot away from him afraid I've cross some line between us. He blinked and his lips curved into a smile that reached his eyes. We sat there both content in the silence and this time it didn't make me nervous at all. The alarm on his watch beeped twice.

He stood up and held out his hands to help me up. Once I was standing he squeezed my hands softly. "I want you to go home and think about what makes you happy, and then filter out all the things that don't."

I looked down at our hands before looking back up into his golden eyes. "I will Carlisle. Thank you."

He nodded and released his hold on my hands. With a hand on the small of my back he lead me to the door. "Your next appointment is for next week." He turned to look at me. "I'll see you then."

"Thanks again Dr. Cullen." I walked out into the hall, down to the main floor, and into the parking garage. That feeling of contentment to my surprise hasn't faded. I thought about my happiness, I had been thinking about that for 3 months. But now I know I need to break up with Jacob.