Chapter Sixteen: I Don't Need Your Honesty

"You can't be serious," Bertholdt said frantically.

"It's true," Reiner replied. "I have no bloody idea how Wall Rose could have possibly been breached, but according to the commanders, it has."

"How...?"

Mikasa watched as Reiner shook his head with a grim expression. The boy hastily grabbed his uniform and was in the process of throwing it on. She turned towards Bertholdt and squeezed his hand gently before climbing off the bed to stand.

"How has Wall Rose been breached?" Bertholdt repeated, he was growing more frantic with each passing second.

"Titans have been spotted a little ways south of Wall Sina, meaning Wall Rose has fallen. There's no further information on as to how it has been, all I know is that we have to act fast. I was with Connie, Armin, and Sasha when one of the officers told a group of us that the commanders alerted the scouts," Reiner grunted as he shrugged his jacket on.

He fixated his gaze upon Bertholdt who had been silenced in shock. "Bertholdt, Lieutenant Nanaba told me that we are requested to travel with another unit of soldiers to rescue any remaining villagers around the area," he then turned towards her," Mikasa, Armin was summoned by Commander Erwin to meet with Major Hange and Corporal Levi. He wanted me to tell you that you were requested too."

Bertholdt furrowed his brows. "Wait, so, we weren't all—"

"Orders go as followed, Bertholdt. You and I will be joining Sasha, Connie, Ymir, and Krista with the veterans as a search-and-rescue unit. Mikasa will be joining Eren and Armin with the commanders," Reiner finished off as if reading Bertholdt's mind.

"We have to leave immediately. Recon will be at the stables, we'll be given more directives by our squad leader once we join the rest."

"B-But...Mikasa—" he turned towards her with a bemused expression. She knew that he wanted to stay, she knew he wanted to simply be with her because she wanted so badly to do the same.

She watched him gulp, with very few words to speak, much less articulate. With a newfound fervor, she gently squeezed his hand in reassurance once more.

"It's okay, don't worry. We'll see each other within a few days. For now, all I ask of you is to take care of yourself," she whispered before leaning forward to kiss the tip of his nose. "When we get back, we'll have more time."

He blanched. "But..."

"Go, Bertl. You have to meet up with your unit. There's no time."

She knew that was all he wanted—time. Their heartfelt moment had unceremoniously ended far too quickly and she had a myriad words still left unsaid. However, as a soldier, their duties to humanity were far more paramount than amorous delusions. All the things she wanted to say, to do—those words would have to wait.

"W-What about you?"

"Look, I'll find you before you leave. I promise. Chances are, the scouting units will be departing within the same timeframe and I'll try to meet you at the stables before you leave."

"Are you...Are you sure?"

"Yes, I promise," she smiled, but when she saw his countenance, she faltered.

The poor boy looked absolutely miserable—pleading green eyes and a rigid frown that lined the corners of his lips run taught. From the looks of it, he didn't want to leave her side. He'd been fidgeting with the arm of her sweater the entire time, she could feel his anxiety pouring out like plumes of smoke.

In the most diminutive of voices, he bowed his head forward enough for only her to hear. "...But I don't want to leave you..." he whispered and she just about lost it there.

Gripping him fiercely by the shoulders, Mikasa forced him to look her straight in the eye. Piercing grey as cold as steel met with viridescent orbs in a clash of unspoken promises. She had so much to say, but their was so little time. With that need to spill her heart out, a drawn breath away, she closed the gap between them.

Her lips met briefly with his. The kiss, though transient at best, was concise enough to reveal the spectrum of emotions she could no longer articulate soundly.

A thousand words to say, but only a infinitesimal amount of time to speak. She could only hope he knew how deeply she felt for him.

"It's okay, Bertl. We'll see each other soon," she whispered as they broke apart.

Her eyes peered at his bedside where she had laid her outerwear earlier and she reached over. The red scarf lay precariously off of her jacket, folded neatly as it was her most prized belonging.

When she came to possess it, it was a symbol that signified one of her most vulnerable times to which Eren had gifted it upon her. A young child, she had just lost her parents and had nowhere to go. Absolutely lost in the world, Mikasa needed that empty space that was left from her parents departure, to be occupied once more. The Jaeger family had done it—the scarf was but a testament of this. It was love. Like a lost soul, thrown into the jumbled heap of malignancy that plagued this world, she needed that physical article to project all her hope in.

At this time, it seemed that Bertholdt needed that too. That look in his eyes, it was the same look she remembered having all those years ago. Mikasa saw herself in him.

"Bertl, here take this," she murmured before wrapping the scarf around him. "It'll be cold during the night, this will keep you warm."

He stared at her with wide eyes, his hand trembled as he held the scarf between his fingers. She saw the world in his eyes and it told her that the gesture was more than appreciated.

"Thank you," he said with a shaky voice, holding the scarf as if it were the most sacred thing in the world. "I'll keep it safe until I see you again."

With one last embrace and a few hushed promises, Mikasa bid him goodbye and swept away from the room.

Come hell or high water, she was prepared to see this through.

She was running.

Her heart was beating in palpitations, adrenaline coursing through her veins as she picked up momentum. Her muscles flexed, sinews stretching. With each time she pumped her legs faster and faster, she could feel the steady flow of blood rushing through her veins, feel the nodules in her knees pulling and stretching as she thrust each leg forward. She was getting closer now.

The castle was frantic, soldiers hustled through the halls from the uproar of the commander's announcement. Titans were spotted South of Wall Sina, that meant that Wall Rose had been compromised. Several squadrons had been deployed already and the remaining soldiers were scrambling about to find directives to follow. Luckily, Reiner had told her that Squad Commander Hange had summoned her along with Eren and Armin to meet with Corporal Levi at the armament.

Unfortunately, she had to part with Bertholdt for the time being as he was ordered to form along a search-and-rescue squad with Reiner, Connie, Historia, Ymir, and several other veteran officers. Though her morning was sweet, she had other matters to attend to. Perhaps afterwards, they could pick up on where they left off, but that would have to wait.

Having geared herself up as quickly as possible, Mikasa was currently sprinting to the armament. Veering off another corner and exiting the castle gates, she managed to reach the chamber. As she entered, she was met with Eren, Armin, Commander Hange, and Corporal Levi.

"Took you long enough, Ackerman," the corporal intoned as she took her place in between Eren and Armin.

She mumbled a halfhearted apology before Commander Hange spoke up. The squad commander had been studying some files in her hands, before she fixated her attention to address the entire group.

"As you all must know by now, Wall Rose had been compromised. Several titans have been spotted south of Sina and Commander Erwin has already deployed a few squadrons to locate the breach, along with search-and-rescue teams to search for any remaining civilians across the villages near the wall," Hange spoke after clearing her throat," I know...You all must be itching to go out too, but Commander Erwin has delegated for Corporal Levi and I to lead a Special-Ops squadron to the breach. Specifically, you three."

"Why us?" Eren blurted out.

Corporal Levi rolled his eyes. "Well, isn't it obvious, brat? Erwin picked all three of you deliberately. Who else could possibly transform into a titan? Much to my disdain, you three have proved that time and time again, you are all valuable assets to the survey corps," he scoffed. "Besides, among your class, we can't really trust the others. Especially those two cadets we brought along with you on the last mission."

The other two—was the corporal implying Reiner and...Bertholdt? "What do you mean?" Mikasa felt herself querying.

Hange cleared her throat before shuffling the files in her hands. "Cadets Reiner Braun and Bertholdt Hoover," she read aloud. "As of recently, I did not think of them to be characters of suspicion, however..."

"What? What are you talking about?" Eren interjected, his visage alit with dubiety.

Mikasa for the most part shared equal amounts of his uncertainty as she listened intently to the squad commander. Why would Bertholdt be considered a "character of suspicion?" There couldn't possibly be any evidence to warrant any incertitude of Bertholdt's merit as a soldier. She knew him like the back of her hand...If he had been keeping any secrets, he would invariably tell her...wouldn't he?

"I was finally able to get my hands on the background report for Annie Leonhart. It's taken so long to get because managing these reports is such a mess right now—" Hange perused through the files before pulling out three papers "—according to this, there were two others belonging to the 104th Cadet Corps who came from the same area as her. And it would seem those two are Braun and Hoover. Thanks to the chaos five years ago, pretty much all of their family records are spotty or missing. However...during the long-range scouting formation on the 57th expedition, their unit was given false information. They were among those purposefully told that Eren was in the right wing."

Mikasa felt as if her quickening heartbeat had suddenly stopped. Her chest hurt. It couldn't be true, could it?

"The Female Titan attacked from the right wing!" Armin affirmed.

She looked at him, knitting her brows together in bewilderment. "So, what are you trying to imply?"

"That it's possible they passed on the information to Annie..."

"Hey, hold on a minute, Armin," Eren began," You can't just—"

"I know that, Eren," Hange interposed. "By itself, that's not enough to prove anything...So, just in case, I'd like to hear from you about how those three interacted during training. Know anything?"

"...I know Reiner and Bertholdt were from the same place, but they didn't seem close to Annie," Armin admitted.

"I agree. I don't recall seeing those two talking to Annie that much...But, Mikasa—she's been close to Bertholdt. They were...uh, together," Eren said before turning towards her. "Right, Mikasa? If Bertholdt had anything to tell you, he would've."

"I don't know...He never really said anything about Annie or his hometown." Her voice was weak.

When she attempted to recall some of their memories together, the stories of his childhood and his hometown had always been vague, never really divulging too many nuances. She couldn't believe what she was hearing, nothing was making any sense. Bertholdt had told her he loved her too many times to count, wasn't candor an integral part of love? If he had something to tell her, he would have. Wouldn't he?

"As their comrade, I'd find it hard to believe," Eren continued. "Set aside Bertholdt, who doesn't even say much. Reiner is like everyone's big brother, I don't think he's devious enough to deceive all of us."

Armin nodded. "I agree. Reiner gave everything he had fighting the Female Titan with me. He would have gotten crushed in her hand if he hadn't—" he faltered, eyes widening as if in realization. Both Eren and she knew this look, they knew Armin had something to say. There was something else.

"What?" Eren questioned.

"Reiner managed to escape, but...Annie suddenly changed her course...and ran in the direction of Eren. I did mention that Eren might be at the center of the rank...But, Annie was too far away to possibly hear."

No, it was impossible. This couldn't mean...

"Seriously?"

Hange narrowed her eyes as she scratched her chin, mulling over the new information. "Did Reiner seem overly interested in Eren's location?"

Mikasa watched as Armin's eyes flickered back and forth, she knew for a fact that he was meticulously analyzing his memories. The boy was always precocious like that. And when he hypothesized things, chances were, he was indefinitely right. But for once in her life, she didn't want him to be.

"It can't be..."she heard him mutter to himself. "I only started talking about Eren's position because Reiner was the one who asked about it first. Furthermore, when that happened, the Female Titan was staring at her palm. When he escaped from being crushed...He may have written a message with his blades in her hand. Reiner could've..."

No, it was impossible.

"What the hell?" Eren questioned, but his voice died off in the silence of the room.

"Why...Why are you saying things like this?" Mikasa felt her voice trembling. She just couldn't believe what Armin was saying. It couldn't possibly be true.

The room was suddenly thrown into an agonizing silence, too tense for words.

"Alright, everyone listen up!" Hange bellowed. "Suppose if we find Reiner and Bertholdt, act in such a way as to not reveal any suspicions. Of course, do not make any mention of Annie Leonhart either. Regardless if they're Annie's accomplices or not, we need to lead them deep underground and confine them. Does everyone understand?"

Eren and Armin nodded in ardor, whereas she could only agree weakly.

She still couldn't believe what she was hearing, it just made absolutely no sense at all. Bertholdt was the kindest person she knew, he couldn't be conspiring with an enemy to mankind. He couldn't be a murderer like Annie. She loved him too much to believe any adverse implications thrown at his character, it couldn't be true.

"Alright, now that we have that out of the way. We must discuss the mission objective in hand..." Hange began and the topic of Bertholdt and Reiner had dissipated from the conversation as briefly as it was brought up.

"Eren," Commander Hange said solemnly as her hand reached out to grip his shoulder. "Wall Rose has been breached, we cannot afford to allow another piece of territory to fall into the hands of more titans. We need to close that wall."

"...Okay, but what can we do about it?"

"Before Annie Leonhart was captured, she was able to crystallize herself in an impenetrable material—do you remember?"

With a pained expression, Eren nodded his head. "...Yeah, I remember..."

"That same material is what makes up the walls that protect all of mankind's territory. And only can that material be produced by titans," her gaze zeroed in on Eren once more," Eren, I need you to close that wall. Your Titan form, could it perhaps have the ability to harden like Leonhart's?"

"I...I don't know..."

At this point, Mikasa could not bear to listen anymore. Her mind was too fixated on Bertholdt and the possibility of treachery. That couldn't be right, using his name and the act of treason within the same sentence felt completely wrong. Bertholdt would have told her if he kept any secrets, she was sure of it. Perhaps all the suspicion was merely an outlet to project all of the Survey Corps problems to, perhaps they were simply using them as scapegoats. Perhaps...

It just didn't make sense.

Before their departure, Mikasa hastily made her way to the stables. The search-and-rescue units were in the midst of heading out and she scrambled to find Bertholdt.

She had a million thoughts buzzing in her mind, all jumbled, scattered with no coherent thought-process behind them. All she could think of was her conversation with the commanders and it festered within the deep recesses of her brain like an ugly wound, unwanted and painful.

When she found him she had quickly grasped his hand and shoved him in a corner, ignoring the consternated look in his eyes.

"Bertl," her voice was solemn.

Noticing the taught lines in her face, he frowned. "Mikasa, w-what's wrong? Are you okay?"

She nodded, still trying to keep her thoughts at bay. The pressing matter of Bertholdt and Reiner's potential treachery remained at the forefront of her mind, however, she could not show her suspicions. Nevertheless, she couldn't believe her suspicions either. He just couldn't be.

"Stay safe. Watch your guard...and please come back in one piece," she said wholeheartedly.

Despite her past conversation between her commanders, she couldn't allow some fallacious information to cloud her reasoning. She still loved him, that much was true.

"I promise," he smiled slightly before bending down to place a chaste kiss on her head.

She wrapped her arms around him, desperately. She wanted so badly to not believe what everyone else was saying.

Quietly now, Mikasa spoke in almost a whisper. "Bertl, if you were keeping something secret, would you have told me?"

She felt him tense under her touch.

"O-Of course, I would. I'd...never lie to you. I love you."

Though her cognitive processes were currently in turmoil, her judgement clung to these words. She knew there was more to it, but she wanted to continue to believe him. Mikasa trusted him with all her heart and if what he said was true, then perhaps there was nothing to truly worry about...

She gazed into his eyes one last time, vehemently trying to read something. All she could see was love, the world was rose-tinted in his eyes. She prayed that it would stay that way.

"Goodbye," she whispered. "I'll see you soon."

With one last embrace, they had broke apart and she watched with glassy eyes as he rode away into the forest with the last of his unit.