Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue.
A/N: This fic contains SHOUNEN-AI. There's also a slight change in the ways things may have actually happened as I cannot remember clearly at this moment (because I watched this part over a month ago). Goku POV. Slight shounen-ai hints.
Finding the Sun
I was born alone atop a mountain, a child of the energy of the earth. I have no mother to nurture me, no father to teach me. The first face I saw was not that of my parents but the moon, in all it's serene beauty. I sprang from the Earth a mere babe, but my form was lean enough to be like that of a small child. My body remained unclothed as I stared at the sky in wonder, allowing the sun to give my skin a golden sheen. If I looked down from my high roost, I know I would've been afraid. Afraid of the height. Afraid of the fall. Afraid of what the world held.
The loneliness on top of here was getting too much for me. Feral screams into the night sky could be heard from me in even the busiest nights. Such torment in my heart. The part of me that wanted to leave and interact with other beings was strong, but my fear was even stronger. If I looked at the horizon, I could see a nearby village. The lights of the village dotted the land at night like small fireflies and the stream running through it was clear and beautiful. When the night sky sparkled against it, its curtain of darkness lightly draping it, it appeared the most beautiful of violets. I reveled in the beauty of the world beneath me. To play in the stream, to eat the fruit in the trees, to talk to the inhabitants there. I wished that I could be part of it.
Courage overtook me one day and I climbed slowly down from where I had stood since the day of my birth. Fear was temporarily quashed in favor of companionship. The chains and charms that adorned it made me feel uneasy, to say the least. But I continued anyway. There was no turning back now, as it was a far way either up or down. The climb down was slow and steady, as I tried to hurt myself as little as possible. But the mountain was dangerous, and I ended up with a few cuts here and there anyway.
I ran towards the stream, eager to feel water for the first time. I jumped in happily and my limbs somehow already knew how to move themselves in a way that would prevent the water from engulfing me. Some of the water fell through my dry lips and I swallowed it greedily, savoring this new taste.
Jumping out of the water, I grabbed a strange yellow fruit from the tree. Biting into it, the outer part had not tasted very good and I decided to peel it away. The center melted into my mouth, the softness and sweetness of it winning me over quickly. I was happy I had decided to take a risk and come down to this world, but I still had an uneasy feeling about travelling down here.
I arrived at the village before dusk. I had always imagined the people here, all friendly smiles and warm embraces. The lights had already began to flicker to life as I entered town. Startled cries could be heard, but after the preliminary shock, everyone went back to their own business. I started to walk through the town, exploring it slowly. The inhabitants here spoke a tongue I could not readily understand and I suddenly felt very out- of-place here. They were all covered with other fabrics and hid their bodies from view. I suddenly felt shame for my exposure.
Rifling through some things that were left outdoors on a taut line, tied from one tree to another, I took some cloth that fit well on me and continued my explorations. The people there seemed less alarmed by me after that, but I could still see fear in their eyes.
I ended up in the middle of the town, where the stream that I had mentioned before was. It was that beautiful violet color again and I rejoiced in finally being able to see it so up-close. I sat quietly by the banks as people began to return to their shelters. Running my fingers quickly through the water, I tried to figure it out. Why did they fear me?
Then I saw it. My ears were pointed, unlike theirs. My nails were long and were extensions of my slender fingers that could bring about death. My teeth were sharp and not shaped like theirs, but I looked more like the creatures they tamed and called 'dogs.' And my eyes were golden, like the sun. I had seen not seen any one of them have golden eyes. I had seen many colors, but no gold. And no violet either. No violet like the one of the stream that I loved so much.
I had seen pointed whispers at me from afar. No one dared approach me. No one dared look me in the eye. Sure they offered me food, food that I had taken happily, but the sincerity in their voice was tainted. In a crowd, I would be shoved against the flow of traffic and they would all pretend that I wasn't even there. When someone who looked about my age had bumped into me and fell, someone had yelled at him very angrily. I did not know what they were saying, but I could gain from it that it was somehow my fault.
I had reached out to help him get up, but he shirked away from the touch, immediately bouncing up and back to familiar arms. The stern face of anger on this person turned to concern and then glared at me evenly. I flinched under the look as I had never seen such before. It was disconcerting, to say the least, and made me feel more at unease.
I looked up at the serene moon again. I wished she would answer my questions. Why are they acting like this? Why am I here? Why am I so different compared to them?
Why didn't my sun shine for me and bring a bright new day full of hope? Why must the clouds always cover it? Why must the trees and mountains always overshadow it?
I had fell asleep from pure fatigue from the day before and awoke with a sharp pain. My eyes frantically looked around, assessing what had just occurred.
There were beings who looked very much like the ones around me, except there was a large red dot upon their forehead. Their draperies were finer and more intricate and you could tell by the way they held themselves that they were superior to the people I had interacted with before. And they looked me in the eye, without fear.
Then I began to fear for myself a different type of fear that I had never felt before. Their lips moved but I could not understand them at all. One of them pointed at me and said something else and, before I knew it, my arms were held together by a long iron chain like the ones on the mountain I had come from.
Then the world spun and the scene changed. I did not recognize my new surroundings at all. But we were no longer near where we were before, that was for sure. The beings who had captured me spoke to other beings and then the new being grasped my forehead and whispered something. I couldn't understand anything they were saying, but all of a sudden, a diadem appeared around my forehead and every word they spoke became clear to me. My mind filled with the knowledge of over a thousand years and I understood my situation immediately.
My instincts took over, my emotions winning over my common sense. A part of me was screaming to stop moving, but my limbs would not listen and flailed about every which way as the man behind me pushed me towards a different room. I yelled at him and cursed profusely at him, ordering him to get his hands off me. I refused to be pushed around by anyone and my natural incentive to bite what my mind had recognized as an enemy took over.
So I bit him. And I ran. I caused mayhem throughout the corridors of the palace and tried desperately to figure out the purpose of the diadem upon my head. Tearing at it as I ran down the hall, I tried to remove it but failed. Turning a corner to try and lose my pursuers, trying to hide myself in a secluded section of the palace. They were quickly catching up to me and I, in my haste, ran into a tall figure who was walking out of the hallway. He caught my wrist and looked at me curiously before frowning deeply.
I made no struggle as I was caught by him. He did not look like he would harm me in any way. His relaxed posture was different from those of the men who caught me and his gaze spoke of nothin more than inner turmoil. My eyes locked on his immediately and I saw the shimmer of violet in them for the first time. My vision also told me that he had beautiful blond hair, as brilliant as the sun, framing his face and I immediately wanted to feel it, to hold it, to have it by my side all the time. Everything in my body felt slack and relaxed against his grip and all my negative emotions were forgotten for that one moment where I looked up at him innocently. My golden sun...
My thoughts were interrupted by the soldiers chasing me having finally caught up. They thanked the man and dragged me back towards the room they had originally intended me to go to. I cursed myself mentally for having forgotten my troubles so easily and swatted and fought the soldiers as much as I could in my new shackles. Curiously, I noted that the man began to follow us towards the room.
I was introduced to the woman who was seated at the end of the long throne room. There, the woman addressed me, but called herself "ore," so I wondered about what was this person's true gender. Ah, not person, this kami. Kanzeon Bosatsu. The man who was had followed me here sat down in the empty chair adjacent to her's and started a conversation with her. I followed his every step with my eyes, never letting my golden sun stray from my gaze.
The goddess looked at me with a smirk on her face and started to antagonize the man, who's name was apparently Konzen and was her nephew, with comments about his habits. I was uneasy. My stomach turned itself over a few times as I watched the calculating eyes of one bodhisattva verbally spar with her nephew. There was something sinister sounding in her voice that I did not like.
I snapped out of my revery when I heard myself being addressed to. I nodded dumbly to whatever it was they had said to me and openly stared at the blond. Being the curious child I was, I approached him and reached out towards his ponytail and touched the strands of golden hair carefully. Those present all emitted a surprised gasp and asked what I was doing. My mouth automatically responded, moving of its own will. No, not its own will, but of my heart's will. It could never and would never allow me to lie. "It's beautiful...and golden...like the sun..."
I felt the tension slip from his body as his posture eased again and he gritted his teeth at me. He looked like he was going to kill me, but stopped immediately when he saw me. Our eyes locked and I held a breathe of air for fear that he really was going to kill me. But his gaze softened and he grunted out a "baka saru."
I had never felt such peace before in my heart. My warring heart had stopped itself from tormenting me when it had seen right into his soul through his eyes. The torture of loneliness was not my burden alone, but his as well. But we would have each other for company. We were bound by fate to meet.
The energy within me rippled lightly in approval and remained crawled into a small crevice in the back of my mind, taking with it all of the torture I had to endure alone. In its place was now innocence and purity, traits that I had possessed ever since I was born but never truly recognized. My eyes cast themselves downwards in embarassment, as I had been locked in a gaze with him for more than a few minutes. This look downwards finally made me notice that my hands were no longer that of a youkai, but that of a human. In the reflection against the metal chains, I could make out the rounded ears on each side of my head. The image I saw was not the same as the one I had seen in the pool just yesterday, but it was so familiar that it had to be me. I smiled a small but genuine smile at long last. Maybe I would find a place in this world...
A guard began to usher me out of the room. Apparently, because of my reverie, I had not heard Kanzeon Bosatsu issue the order that Konzen was now my keeper. I was ecstatic, but calmed by joy to only a small smile to the guard who had replied to my query.
As I started to exit, I heard Kanzeon ask him "Can you be his golden sun?" A question that I wanted to know the answer to as well.
But I hoped that he could. I really did.
-Owari-
A/N: Well, feedback is welcomed, since this is my first Saiyuki fic. I think it was horrible, but hey, that's just me. If you hadn't noticed a bunch of the stuff I kind of shifted around to fit better with my fic. This is meant as a one-shot, but if the idea hits me, I might start a series from this with Konzen/Goku. There's just not enough Goku POV fics out there...
A/N: This fic contains SHOUNEN-AI. There's also a slight change in the ways things may have actually happened as I cannot remember clearly at this moment (because I watched this part over a month ago). Goku POV. Slight shounen-ai hints.
Finding the Sun
I was born alone atop a mountain, a child of the energy of the earth. I have no mother to nurture me, no father to teach me. The first face I saw was not that of my parents but the moon, in all it's serene beauty. I sprang from the Earth a mere babe, but my form was lean enough to be like that of a small child. My body remained unclothed as I stared at the sky in wonder, allowing the sun to give my skin a golden sheen. If I looked down from my high roost, I know I would've been afraid. Afraid of the height. Afraid of the fall. Afraid of what the world held.
The loneliness on top of here was getting too much for me. Feral screams into the night sky could be heard from me in even the busiest nights. Such torment in my heart. The part of me that wanted to leave and interact with other beings was strong, but my fear was even stronger. If I looked at the horizon, I could see a nearby village. The lights of the village dotted the land at night like small fireflies and the stream running through it was clear and beautiful. When the night sky sparkled against it, its curtain of darkness lightly draping it, it appeared the most beautiful of violets. I reveled in the beauty of the world beneath me. To play in the stream, to eat the fruit in the trees, to talk to the inhabitants there. I wished that I could be part of it.
Courage overtook me one day and I climbed slowly down from where I had stood since the day of my birth. Fear was temporarily quashed in favor of companionship. The chains and charms that adorned it made me feel uneasy, to say the least. But I continued anyway. There was no turning back now, as it was a far way either up or down. The climb down was slow and steady, as I tried to hurt myself as little as possible. But the mountain was dangerous, and I ended up with a few cuts here and there anyway.
I ran towards the stream, eager to feel water for the first time. I jumped in happily and my limbs somehow already knew how to move themselves in a way that would prevent the water from engulfing me. Some of the water fell through my dry lips and I swallowed it greedily, savoring this new taste.
Jumping out of the water, I grabbed a strange yellow fruit from the tree. Biting into it, the outer part had not tasted very good and I decided to peel it away. The center melted into my mouth, the softness and sweetness of it winning me over quickly. I was happy I had decided to take a risk and come down to this world, but I still had an uneasy feeling about travelling down here.
I arrived at the village before dusk. I had always imagined the people here, all friendly smiles and warm embraces. The lights had already began to flicker to life as I entered town. Startled cries could be heard, but after the preliminary shock, everyone went back to their own business. I started to walk through the town, exploring it slowly. The inhabitants here spoke a tongue I could not readily understand and I suddenly felt very out- of-place here. They were all covered with other fabrics and hid their bodies from view. I suddenly felt shame for my exposure.
Rifling through some things that were left outdoors on a taut line, tied from one tree to another, I took some cloth that fit well on me and continued my explorations. The people there seemed less alarmed by me after that, but I could still see fear in their eyes.
I ended up in the middle of the town, where the stream that I had mentioned before was. It was that beautiful violet color again and I rejoiced in finally being able to see it so up-close. I sat quietly by the banks as people began to return to their shelters. Running my fingers quickly through the water, I tried to figure it out. Why did they fear me?
Then I saw it. My ears were pointed, unlike theirs. My nails were long and were extensions of my slender fingers that could bring about death. My teeth were sharp and not shaped like theirs, but I looked more like the creatures they tamed and called 'dogs.' And my eyes were golden, like the sun. I had seen not seen any one of them have golden eyes. I had seen many colors, but no gold. And no violet either. No violet like the one of the stream that I loved so much.
I had seen pointed whispers at me from afar. No one dared approach me. No one dared look me in the eye. Sure they offered me food, food that I had taken happily, but the sincerity in their voice was tainted. In a crowd, I would be shoved against the flow of traffic and they would all pretend that I wasn't even there. When someone who looked about my age had bumped into me and fell, someone had yelled at him very angrily. I did not know what they were saying, but I could gain from it that it was somehow my fault.
I had reached out to help him get up, but he shirked away from the touch, immediately bouncing up and back to familiar arms. The stern face of anger on this person turned to concern and then glared at me evenly. I flinched under the look as I had never seen such before. It was disconcerting, to say the least, and made me feel more at unease.
I looked up at the serene moon again. I wished she would answer my questions. Why are they acting like this? Why am I here? Why am I so different compared to them?
Why didn't my sun shine for me and bring a bright new day full of hope? Why must the clouds always cover it? Why must the trees and mountains always overshadow it?
I had fell asleep from pure fatigue from the day before and awoke with a sharp pain. My eyes frantically looked around, assessing what had just occurred.
There were beings who looked very much like the ones around me, except there was a large red dot upon their forehead. Their draperies were finer and more intricate and you could tell by the way they held themselves that they were superior to the people I had interacted with before. And they looked me in the eye, without fear.
Then I began to fear for myself a different type of fear that I had never felt before. Their lips moved but I could not understand them at all. One of them pointed at me and said something else and, before I knew it, my arms were held together by a long iron chain like the ones on the mountain I had come from.
Then the world spun and the scene changed. I did not recognize my new surroundings at all. But we were no longer near where we were before, that was for sure. The beings who had captured me spoke to other beings and then the new being grasped my forehead and whispered something. I couldn't understand anything they were saying, but all of a sudden, a diadem appeared around my forehead and every word they spoke became clear to me. My mind filled with the knowledge of over a thousand years and I understood my situation immediately.
My instincts took over, my emotions winning over my common sense. A part of me was screaming to stop moving, but my limbs would not listen and flailed about every which way as the man behind me pushed me towards a different room. I yelled at him and cursed profusely at him, ordering him to get his hands off me. I refused to be pushed around by anyone and my natural incentive to bite what my mind had recognized as an enemy took over.
So I bit him. And I ran. I caused mayhem throughout the corridors of the palace and tried desperately to figure out the purpose of the diadem upon my head. Tearing at it as I ran down the hall, I tried to remove it but failed. Turning a corner to try and lose my pursuers, trying to hide myself in a secluded section of the palace. They were quickly catching up to me and I, in my haste, ran into a tall figure who was walking out of the hallway. He caught my wrist and looked at me curiously before frowning deeply.
I made no struggle as I was caught by him. He did not look like he would harm me in any way. His relaxed posture was different from those of the men who caught me and his gaze spoke of nothin more than inner turmoil. My eyes locked on his immediately and I saw the shimmer of violet in them for the first time. My vision also told me that he had beautiful blond hair, as brilliant as the sun, framing his face and I immediately wanted to feel it, to hold it, to have it by my side all the time. Everything in my body felt slack and relaxed against his grip and all my negative emotions were forgotten for that one moment where I looked up at him innocently. My golden sun...
My thoughts were interrupted by the soldiers chasing me having finally caught up. They thanked the man and dragged me back towards the room they had originally intended me to go to. I cursed myself mentally for having forgotten my troubles so easily and swatted and fought the soldiers as much as I could in my new shackles. Curiously, I noted that the man began to follow us towards the room.
I was introduced to the woman who was seated at the end of the long throne room. There, the woman addressed me, but called herself "ore," so I wondered about what was this person's true gender. Ah, not person, this kami. Kanzeon Bosatsu. The man who was had followed me here sat down in the empty chair adjacent to her's and started a conversation with her. I followed his every step with my eyes, never letting my golden sun stray from my gaze.
The goddess looked at me with a smirk on her face and started to antagonize the man, who's name was apparently Konzen and was her nephew, with comments about his habits. I was uneasy. My stomach turned itself over a few times as I watched the calculating eyes of one bodhisattva verbally spar with her nephew. There was something sinister sounding in her voice that I did not like.
I snapped out of my revery when I heard myself being addressed to. I nodded dumbly to whatever it was they had said to me and openly stared at the blond. Being the curious child I was, I approached him and reached out towards his ponytail and touched the strands of golden hair carefully. Those present all emitted a surprised gasp and asked what I was doing. My mouth automatically responded, moving of its own will. No, not its own will, but of my heart's will. It could never and would never allow me to lie. "It's beautiful...and golden...like the sun..."
I felt the tension slip from his body as his posture eased again and he gritted his teeth at me. He looked like he was going to kill me, but stopped immediately when he saw me. Our eyes locked and I held a breathe of air for fear that he really was going to kill me. But his gaze softened and he grunted out a "baka saru."
I had never felt such peace before in my heart. My warring heart had stopped itself from tormenting me when it had seen right into his soul through his eyes. The torture of loneliness was not my burden alone, but his as well. But we would have each other for company. We were bound by fate to meet.
The energy within me rippled lightly in approval and remained crawled into a small crevice in the back of my mind, taking with it all of the torture I had to endure alone. In its place was now innocence and purity, traits that I had possessed ever since I was born but never truly recognized. My eyes cast themselves downwards in embarassment, as I had been locked in a gaze with him for more than a few minutes. This look downwards finally made me notice that my hands were no longer that of a youkai, but that of a human. In the reflection against the metal chains, I could make out the rounded ears on each side of my head. The image I saw was not the same as the one I had seen in the pool just yesterday, but it was so familiar that it had to be me. I smiled a small but genuine smile at long last. Maybe I would find a place in this world...
A guard began to usher me out of the room. Apparently, because of my reverie, I had not heard Kanzeon Bosatsu issue the order that Konzen was now my keeper. I was ecstatic, but calmed by joy to only a small smile to the guard who had replied to my query.
As I started to exit, I heard Kanzeon ask him "Can you be his golden sun?" A question that I wanted to know the answer to as well.
But I hoped that he could. I really did.
-Owari-
A/N: Well, feedback is welcomed, since this is my first Saiyuki fic. I think it was horrible, but hey, that's just me. If you hadn't noticed a bunch of the stuff I kind of shifted around to fit better with my fic. This is meant as a one-shot, but if the idea hits me, I might start a series from this with Konzen/Goku. There's just not enough Goku POV fics out there...