1) I don't even want to KNOW how long it's been since I updated. If it makes you feel better, this is the final chapter, and I had to rework it FOUR TIMES before it came out right. These dumbasses refuse to cooperate.

2) Thank you for making it this far, and for being a witness to yet another lesson of why I shouldn't publish things that aren't fully written.

"The fuck…"

Perry's head was spinning, and it was all he could do to keep the body in his arms somewhat upright. Carla rushed over to help support JD.

"Come on, let's just stick him in an empty bed," she suggested breathlessly. Perry obliged, dragging JD to the third door down, then all but fell into the chair by the bed.

"I'm fine," he muttered, hoping to avoid Carla's worry. She didn't seem to notice him, as she was too busy waving a penlight in front of JD's eyes.

"Yeah, he's out," she sighed. "He should be fine, but I'll start a drip just in case."

Perry nodded, slowly gaining back his processing power. "Where's… shit, what's-his-name?"

"Turk?" Carla supplied. "Elliot went to find him, remember?"

"Right."

Carla narrowed her eyes. "Do I need to give you a checkup, too?"

"No," Perry insisted. "It's coming back. I'm perfectly fine."

"All right," Carla said placatingly. She gave Perry a once-over that seemed to satisfy her - for the time being - and nearly floated out of the room. Perry was abruptly reminded that she'd found her soulmate today, too.

Perry watched JD breathe - a little unevenly, he noted - and compared him to the image he had in his mind, right before he collapsed. Perry knew instantly, albeit begrudgingly, that he preferred the one where JD's face was full of wonder. Full of happiness.

Perry checked his watch, wondering when the hell Barbie would come back. These guys seemed like okay people, but he certainly wasn't expecting to be suddenly saddled with two of his own personal interns when he woke up that morning. To his dismay, he realized that thought held more fondness than vitriol.

But he'd still thought it. He'd been one of a number of people who rejected the very notion of the soulmate bond. Those people invariably changed their minds when they began to see. Almost like brainwashing, Perry had figured. Mind control. Coercion. It made him uneasy that he still felt very much like himself. He'd assumed that if he ever fell victim, he'd just be another mindlessly happy, perfect automaton, not a fully conscious person who tended to hurt people - and not care.

He found he cared if he hurt these people.

"Is he okay?" Perry heard from a slight distance. The voice sounded much closer at the end of the sentence, even though it was just three short words.

Turk was out of breath when he burst into the room. "Is he okay?" he repeated, slightly more panic in his voice.

"Just unconscious," Perry said flatly. "She's getting an IV."

Turk relaxed somewhat, and Elliot caught up with him.

"Can I get you guys anything?" she asked uncertainly. "Water?"

"How about another chair?" Turk said. "We'll wait for him to wake up."

Perry watched the exchange silently. He wasn't sure how he felt about being a 'we.'

Elliot returned with an identical chair a minute later, with Carla in tow. Perry rehearsed endless conversations in his head while Carla set up the drip - infinite thoughts on what the hell to say to Turk, who was still gazing worriedly at JD. When the girls left them alone, Perry was no further along than before.

"He's, uh… gonna be okay," he offered. "You know people don't die from this. Unless that hair gel has affected his brain."

Turk didn't look away from JD, but his mouth tugged at one corner. "There was that case two years ago, in… Chicago? Never woke up."

"They were 91 years old," Perry reminded Turk. "Million other problems. And their soulmate, he was inches from kicking the bucket too - millimeters, probably…"

"You're funny," Turk said, nodding. He looked away from JD for the first time. "He'll like that."

"So… what's your deal?" Perry asked, skipping over Turk's remark.

"Deal?" Turk repeated.

Perry bit the inside of his cheek. "You know. Hometown? Favorite color? Mother's maiden name, social security number…"

Turk snorted. "My name's Chris Turk, he's John Dorian. We met the first day of college. Didn't really imagine something like this would happen, that's for sure."

"Right," Perry said quietly. "Yeah, me neither. I hoped I'd never get one."

"Oh, you're one of those," Turk said with a small laugh. "Figures. Now you've got two."

Perry laughed back, but there was no humor in his voice. "Always thought it was… brainwashing, you know? I met a woman who felt like I did, and we were together for a while."

Turk fell silent, unsure of what to say. Chosen couples, as they were called by those participating in them, were not always treated well, to say the least. They were only tolerated legally if both sides had already lost their soulmate.

"You can probably guess that it didn't work out," Perry continued quietly.

"You've got us now," Turk said. "It's kind of cool, actually. We get to do it all over again."

Perry shifted in his chair. "I'm not… I'm not the soulmate guy. I'm not good at these things."

Turk chuckled. "How could you be when you literally just met us?"

"I'm serious," Perry insisted. "My old partner, Jordan, our split - it was ugly."

"That's what happens when there's no bond," Turk said matter-of-factly. "It makes sense."

Perry shook his head. "She's been with her new partner for two years and they're just fine. I'll take your bet for what the problem was."

"You can't just be… broken," Turk assured Perry. "You seem like a decent guy to me."

"Don't be so sure," Perry warned Turk. "I'm not that nice to my friends, either."

"Carla seemed pretty happy to help you today," Turk said seriously. "You're better than you give yourself credit for."

Perry considered this as he watched JD breathe again. "What's JD like?" he asked after a few moments.

Turk's face broke into a grin. "He's… amazing," he said, almost with a reverence. "Funny, nice, a little dramatic - the whole package."

"Where's the logic?" Perry said quietly. "Everyone talks endlessly about how the universe, or destiny, or whatever-the-hell has this perfect plan. Where's the sense in putting the two of you together eight years before meeting me?"

Turk studied Perry's face, then shrugged. "Maybe you just weren't ready yet."

Perry didn't move his eyes from where JD's chest was rising and falling. He counted three full breaths before responding. "You shouldn't have had to wait - not for me."

"Listen," Turk said seriously. "JD, he's the best guy you'll ever know. He deserves the damn world. And if you're meant for him, you just have to be good. Because there is absolutely no way the universe would give him the guy you think you are."

This so-called universe had never been particularly kind to Perry. His mother's soulmate was long gone by the time she met Perry's father. The man was, in simple terms, not a good choice. Perry's sister chose to take the situation, as well as stories from their mother about the true love of her life, as proof that soulmates were the only way to go. She became even more of a devout believer than most, strongly disapproving of his relationship with Jordan.

Perry went the opposite direction. You're fucked anyway, so why put all your eggs in one basket?

The people in front of him, however, forced him to reconsider.

"We'll see," Perry told Turk, who looked pretty pleased with himself for Perry's tone - not quite as depressed.

"I'm sure he'll be really happy to meet you," Turk said after a moment of quiet. "He's been… withdrawn. Me too, I think, to be honest."

"How can you be so sure?" Perry asked slowly. "You're willing to bet your life on me."

Turk glanced back at JD. "When I saw his face, man… destiny knows what it's doing. Shit happens for a reason."

Perry allowed them to lapse into silence. It wasn't ten minutes later that JD began to stir.

"I think he's coming around," Turk murmured. "Baby?"

JD groaned. "Wha' happened?"

Turk chuckled. "Open your eyes, dumbass."

Perry watched uncertainly - not a familiar emotion to him - as JD's eyes fluttered open. He mumbled something, staring at Turk in amazement.

"You're so pretty," JD finally said, not even noticing Perry was in the room. The voice was almost childlike, and Perry had a feeling it wasn't just due to the newness of the situation.

Watching the two of them together, Perry almost felt like he was intruding. They'd been a perfectly happy couple long before they met Perry. Maybe he was never really supposed to be a permanent third wheel - just there to complete the reaction. Give them their colors and everyone's on their way, was that the deal? Two soulmates for the price of one was unheard of. An anomaly. At least the rays of sun coming through the window were finally lighting things correctly. He was contemplating just driving away when Turk whispered something in JD's ear.

JD finally turned his head, looking directly at Perry's face, and gave him a brilliant grin.

Perry didn't even have time to think how royally fucked, how classically screwed, how absolutely done he was before he smiled back.

The rest of their lives was nothing short of the bliss the universe had promised.