Ahem…
It was a nice, sunny day in the City of New York.
(I know I don't rhyme well, don't call me a dork)
As far as days go, it couldn't be finer
As we turn our attention to the Electric Diner.
Inside sit the members of that hallowed group
The Electric Company, a do-gooders troop.
Lisa and Hector, dressed impeccably
Jessica, Keith …and Marcus (regrettably).
It was this group that saw, with their sharply-peeled eyes,
Someone new walking, who was not recognized.
He walked up to their table straight from the door,
And said "Hello, call me Gandalf! Charmed, I'm sure."
He was just a bit pudgy, with big nerdy glasses,
He said, "Ignore my looks, or I'll kick all your …butts.
"I'm one brilliant writer, though I don't look like much,
I'm good at wordsmithing, and I'm really not Dutch!"
"No one said you were," said Jessica, confused.
"It had to rhyme!" he snapped, his ego looking bruised.
"So, why are you here?" asked Hector, this guy's entrance a surprise.
The kid answered "I'm here to make sure your lives are revised!"
"What do you mean?" they asked Gandalf in shock.
"I'll start with him!" Gandalf cried, pointing at Shock.
(Yes, I know I was rhyming a word with itself. Shut up. I said I wasn't good at this, didn't I?)
"Ha ha!" Gandalf cried. "This is my chance, at last
"To give Shock an extremely dark and troubled past!"
Keith cried "But he has one, with Wiki Wiki Walter!"
"Oh, that?" Gandalf scoffed. "It really needs altered.
"Walter killed your family! He really gored 'em!"
"No he didn't!" cried Shock, but Gandalf ignored him.
"And now," he said, "this will be much improved
"With that dumb annoying Marcus kid removed!"
Then Marcus was gone! Hector let out a scream.
Gandalf grinned. "There, now you'll be a better team."
"What did you do with him!?" Lisa cried, aghast.
Gandalf waved her off. "All in the past!
"And now he's gone and won't be missed, so-"
He pointed to Lisa and Hector "-kiss."
Lisa turned red; they were both astonished.
"C'mon, we don't have all day!" Gandalf admonished.
"Now, fall madly in love! Let wedding bells toll!
"It's what the fans want! –I took a poll."
The gang was now feeling very much awkward
Being forced into love by this wacko nerd.
He explained "I know you think I have much gall
"But hey, it worked for Manny's mom and Paul!"
(See "Wedding Bells" by Gandalf15. No seriously, go read it right now. NOW.)
"So, what to do next?" Gandalf cackled with glee.
"Shrink New York? Reform poor Annie?"
"YOU'LL DO NONE OF THAT!" cried a voice from the door.
Everyone spun around, looking for the source of the roar.
Entering the diner were men dressed all in black,
With weapons so scary they could kill just by heart attack.
"Oh great, who are they?" Jessica sighed and groaned.
One man said "Don't fret, we're here for Gandalf alone."
"ME?!" Gandalf cried, "What'd I do, tell me please!"
"We're here to arrest you, we're the Rhyming Police!"
They explained "Your rhyming leaves us disgusted!
"It's so terrible that it demands justice!"
"There, see?" they continued, with voices deep.
"You just rhymed 'disgusted' and 'justice' you creep!"
"Not my fault!" Gandalf cried "I haven't had practice!"
"No excuse!" they replied "It's as painful as a cactus."
Gandalf tried to run, but was tackled to the floor.
They hauled him up and dragged him towards the door.
"Wait!" Lisa cried. "We need Marcus back!"
Gandalf sighed, and Marcus appeared with a CRACK!
The men dragged him away, just doing their jobs,
As he cried "At least let me pair them with Calvin and Hobbes!"
(Look it up.)
The Company was (mostly) happy to see Marcus,
While Gandalf was dragged off to a fate best left undiscussed.
For his bad rhyming, he was going to pay.
The Electric Company had won the day.
Gandalf hadn't succeeded in changing their lives,
Their lives were intact, Marcus survived.
Still… Hector and Lisa could still recall
When Gandalf had had the absolute gall
To tell them to kiss, not thinking twice.
To be honest… the thought was rather nice.
If they were together, would the results be good or gory?
That, dear readers, is another story.