Ichigo opened his eyes in his inner world for the first time since he regained his powers. As he expected, it was raining. He sat up on the side of the building and looked around for Shiro or Zangetsu. It didn't take long for both of them to appear out of the rain.

"Ichigo," Shiro said as he came over and knelt beside him. "You're back to being a Shinigami again," he reached for Ichigo's face and gently touched him. It was a strange gesture coming from such a normally violent entity.

"I'm not a Shinigami," Ichigo whispered. "I can't be that right now."

"But you are," Zangetsu said from his position now on a flag pole that stuck up out of the water.

Ichigo shook his head and then put his hands over it. "I can't do it. I just have to be me alone."

"You're also not alone," Shiro told him as he ran a hand over his head softly.

Ichigo looked up at Shiro and sighed. "I'm messed up in here," he whispered and poked at his temple. "What happened changed me so much, I'm not who I used to be…"

"Of course, it changed you, King. You spent six years basically being tortured by that stupid fucking human. I wish I could have gotten my hands on him just once," Shiro spoke with a great deal of venom to his voice.

"What were you doing?" Ichigo asked, dropping his hands to his lap. "What did you do to make him go crazy finally?"

Shiro sat down heavily beside him and sighed. "I was trying to get us help. I was trying to draw off power from anyone that was there, so we could get free from him. Anything to get you out of there."

"So, you remember what happened, too?" he said as Shiro put an arm around his back.

"Yeah," he responded, squeezing him gently. "I remember it. Clearly."

"What do I do with these feelings inside me?" he sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I can't live without someone there to tell me how to live, not anymore… I can't stand on my own two feet. I can't do this alone. I can't be what they all expect me to be. I can't-"

"Shh," Shiro started. "You can do this. You have help, use it. Lean on Ukitake and Kyōraku. Take their offer of safety."

"How do I ever recover from this?" he asked, staring up at the sky where rain fell heavier now than before.

"You take time," Shiro told him. "You take as much time as you need."

"How much time do I need?" he asked, looking at his white copy and meeting those strange eyes.

"I don't know. Only time will tell how much it will take. But you'll never be the person that existed before, and they'll just have to accept that," Shiro sighed and patted his back gently.

Ichigo licked his lips thoughtfully and sighed. "I can't be what everyone wants, and they'll have to accept that."

"Eventually they'll get it," Shiro assured. "It may take them a while."

Dropping his hands in his lap, he splashed in the water that came up about an inch on the sideways skyscraper. "Was I too weak? Is that why he broke me down like this?"

"You were strong enough to survive, even if you had to do what he wanted and had to listen to them to keep from being killed. You weren't weak at all." Zangetsu offered from his position.

Ichigo nodded again. "Shujin and Omo try to understand."

"They understand better than anyone else what you are now. Let them into your heart and maybe it will heal somewhat," Shiro said softly. "They are trying to help you, and they can if you let them. They've already managed to give your powers back to you and give you your sight back while in soul form."

"But my human body is blinded still," Ichigo pointed out. "I'll spend more time in Soul Society because of that."

"So, what? You spend more time in Soul Society. You have people to take care of you there. People that are caring and might be able to love you," Shiro told him seriously. "What's in the human world that you need to be there for?"

"My father, my sisters, and my friends…" he said as he looked up at the sky again.

"But they all have their own lives now after six years. What could you do in the World of the Living? Nothing, so it's better if you just stay with Ukitake and Kyōraku." Shiro seemed sure of this idea.

Ichigo swallowed and sighed. "But I'm a burden on them…"

"You are not. Just let them in, and you will see," Shiro said as he sat there in the rain.

Reaching upward to the sky, Ichigo sighed again. "It is so fleeting, the times when I am able to say what is on my mind. In here, it's different. I can talk to you because you're me in a way. Out there, my tongue sticks and my throat locks up when I even think of talking. My eyes won't raise and I'm so far from what I used to be."

"You'll get there," Shiro assured him, looking up into the rain with him.

"I'll try," he whispered and faded from sight.

-oooooo-OOOOOO-oooooo-

Ichigo woke up slowly. He felt warm and remembered that he had gone to sleep with Jūshirō the night before. He blinked sleepily as he came awake and nuzzled into the warm body next to him. He had to admit, it was nice waking up and not being alone. Even if he still had a need for these people to be his Shujin and Omo. He was going to be alright, maybe. He felt like he was a burden on them, still.

"You awake, Ichigo?" Jūshirō asked, sitting up as he too woke.

"Yes," he answered, still clinging to Jūshirō's body. It was warm and nice, and he didn't really want to let him go. He grasped him around the waist and laid his head in Jūshirō's lap.

"Did you dream something bad?" Jūshirō asked as he petted his head gently.

Ichigo shook his head against Jūshirō's lap. "My inner world," he finally said.

"Ah, you visited it for the first time since you regained your power. How did you find things?" Jūshirō asked as he continued to pet through Ichigo's hair. It was still long and really in need of some kind of cut.

"It's raining," he whispered, knowing that wouldn't mean anything to Jūshirō really. But it was the fact of what was happening in there.

Jūshirō nodded. "Is that a bad thing for you?"

"It means I'm sad," he admitted as he turned his head into Jūshirō's hand.

They were both quiet for a few minutes, just sitting there in silence. To be honest, Ichigo could have been like that for hours, laying with his head nuzzled into Jūshirō's stomach and having his hair petted like that. It was quiet and relaxing. He didn't want to move but he knew that they couldn't stay like this forever.

"We should get up and go about the day. I really need to go over to the division office and check on things. Would you be okay going with me?" Jūshirō asked as he sat there, still petting his head. He paused but Ichigo nuzzled into his stomach again. "Ah, as much as I would like to stay here, the day waits for no one."

Ichigo reluctantly sat up, wishing for just a few more minutes before they left. He would go with Jūshirō, because it was what he wanted. He knew at the back of his mind that he couldn't keep him from his duties forever. He got up slowly as Jūshirō went to dress himself. Ichigo sighed, sitting there on the futon. He looked out the doorway and wished he could go see the koi again. He liked the koi a lot, but he hadn't told Jūshirō or Shunsui. He hadn't voiced much of what he felt so far, and despite the fact that he knew these weren't Owner, he couldn't say the things he wanted.

Good boys don't talk.

Shocks are for dogs that bark.

He shivered with remembered pain. He noticed that his soul form seemed to have no constant pain in it. He supposed that was good, though a bit hard to get used to. He expected things to hurt when he did them. He had no idea how long he sat there, staring outside.

"Ichigo?" Jūshirō's gentle voice.

He turned to look at him, realizing that he was ready to leave, and he hadn't moved. He got to his feet an pulled the yukata tight around him. He supposed he should wear his shihakuso, but he glanced at it, wary.

"You don't have to wear it yet if you aren't ready," Jūshirō said as he walked over where he was standing by the futon still. "Just wear that yukata if you like."

Ichigo swallowed and nodded his head. He would do what was asked of him, because he had to do that. He fought with the thoughts in his mind that tried to assail him. He feared what would happen if he said something about his wants or desires. He didn't know how to put them into words anymore.

Jūshirō led them out of the house toward the division office. Ichigo followed a couple paces behind him, close enough to see him when he put his eyes down to look at the ground. He heard other people walk by and he knew some of them stopped, but he didn't look up. When Jūshirō led him through to his office, Ichigo felt a little trepidation. Here was a new place that he had to get used to again. His breath sped up and he reached for Jūshirō without thinking.

"Are you alright?" Jūshirō's voice piercing the haze that surrounded him.

Again, he just nodded, still staring at the ground. But now he had a hold of Jūshirō's hand and it was okay because he wasn't alone.

"Come, sit down over here," Jūshirō pulled him toward a couch near his desk.

Ichigo nodded again as he sat down and pulled his legs up beside himself and looked up at Jūshirō. He put a hand on his shoulder for a brief second before going over to his own desk to look over paperwork. He eventually tired of sitting that way and moved to sit flat on the sofa this time. He didn't know what to do with himself. He glanced over to see Jūshirō was seemingly busy for the moment, so he leaned over on the couch and put his arms under his head. He didn't intend to fall asleep, but he ended up dozing off.

He awoke to hear talking around him and someone touching his head. He probably would have woken up completely if it hadn't been for the person stroking his hair. Instead he stayed semi-asleep for a few minutes until he finally could make out the voices around him.

"…with the division personnel," Shunsui's voice near his head.

"I'm sure the sou-taichou will be amenable to that, oh, I think he's waking up," Jūshirō's voice was further away.

Ichigo blinked sleepily but didn't really want to move. He slowly sat up though, yawning as he did so. "Omo?" he asked, looking over at Shunsui.

"Ah, yes, Ichi-kun, did you have a good nap?" he asked, smiling at him.

He nodded, feeling somewhat better after having slept a little more. Jūshirō came over and sat down beside him. "I'm glad. I got so busy, I didn't notice you'd fallen asleep at first."

Ichigo just smiled a bit and looked around the room. It didn't seem that much later. Shunsui reached out and took Ichigo's hand and rubbed his thumb across the palm, causing Ichigo to look at him curiously.

"Ah, sweet Jūshirō is done for the day. He can't overtax himself too much right now after he had an episode so recently," Shunsui said, still holding to Ichigo's hand.

"I told you, I'm fine now," Jūshirō was obviously exasperated by Shunsui's hovering.

"Of course, you are," Shunsui stood up, pulling Ichigo to his feet. "But that's needless here nor there, as you are done for the day, so we can return home with him."

Ichigo nodded again. He wanted to go to the koi pond. Could he make such a request, though? He didn't know but he wanted to try at least.

"Sh-Shujin?" he asked tentatively, looking at Jūshirō where he still sat.

"What is it? Do you need something?" Jūshirō asked, tilting his head to the side.

"Um, could we, uh, go see the koi again?" he managed to say. Immediately he felt like he'd done something wrong already. It wasn't even a second between speaking the words and expecting to be punished for them. He looked away, twisting his hands together. "Never mind," he whispered, not looking at either of them.

Jūshirō stood up and put a gentle hand on his shoulder. "You like to visit the koi pond?"

He nodded, feeling embarrassed all of a sudden. He felt his face flush slightly.

"Of course, Ichigo, we can go as soon as we get back," Jūshirō's voice was soft, but strong like usual. It wasn't like Owner's voice, which so often was harsh and yelled at him. It comforted him in a way.

He found himself nearly walking evenly with Jūshirō as they headed back. Shunsui had come with them and was walking a little ways behind him. He wanted to see the koi again, and maybe Jūshirō would let him feed them. He hoped so. They passed people along the way, and as usual, Ichigo garnered attention, but this time it didn't bother him. He wanted to get back to visit the pond again.

"Why don't you and Shunsui go on out, and I'll get some food for them," Jūshirō said as they entered the house.

Ichigo nodded again, almost bouncing from foot to foot. He didn't notice Shunsui's smile as they walked back out to the pond. Ichigo immediately dropped to his knees at the side and looked for the colorful fish to come to him. He put his hand in the water, wiggling his fingers as they came up to him. He smiled, happy that the koi seemed to be so friendly. He looked over and saw that Shunsui had laid back on his elbows and was looking up at the sky.

"Here we are," Jūshirō knelt beside Ichigo and held a small bowl of fish food.

Ichigo took a pellet from the bowl and held it in the water. He huffed a breath as the fish tickled his fingers when it took the food from him.

"This is why they are so tame," Jūshirō said as he dropped a couple of the pellets into the water. The fish immediately scarfed up the pellets. "They know that if they see people, they're going to be fed."

"They're so beautiful," Ichigo breathed out before he could stop himself. He gasped and looked at Jūshirō as though he were going to do something because he spoke. He knew that Jūshirō and Shunsui wouldn't hurt him for speaking, but he couldn't help the immediate reactions he still had.

"They are," Jūshirō agreed with a soft smile. Ichigo felt his stomach do a flip at the sight. He felt his face flush a little and turned his attention back to the fish.

They sat there for nearly an hour, feeding and watching the koi. Shunsui, while he didn't play with the fish, watched them both as he laid back on the ground. He would occasionally adjust his hat to keep the sun out of his eyes. Ichigo finally sat back and smiled at Jūshirō.

"Okay, we can go back inside," Ichigo told him.

"Alright, come back in, we'll have something for dinner. Shunsui will join us." Jūshirō got up and reached a hand out for Ichigo to take. Ichigo took his hand and was led back toward the house, leaving Shunsui apparently asleep by the pond.

"Shouldn't we wake him?" he asked as they went into the house.

"Ah, he'll sleep for a few minutes and then he'll be in. He always falls asleep by the pond," Jūshirō assured him.

Ichigo didn't know what to do with himself now. He watched as Jūshirō went into the kitchen to fix something for them to eat. He stood where he'd stopped and waited. He resisted the strong urge to sit on his knees and just stood there instead. Jūshirō seemed to notice Ichigo's discomfort, though. He came over and put a hand on his back.

"Come, sit. You don't have to stand there," Jūshirō told him as he ushered him to the kotatsu. "Sit down, and we'll eat soon."

Ichigo did as he was told, glad to be given some direction. He waited quietly until he looked up to see Shunsui come in, stretching his arms over his head and yawning. He saw Ichigo at the kotatsu and smiled, coming over to sit down himself.

"How are you feeling?" Shunsui asked.

"Okay," Ichigo answered, feeling the need to put his eyes down and away from Shunsui's face. He tried to resist it but in the end, he lowered his eyes to stare at Shunsui's hands.

Shunsui didn't say anything about it, though, only waited patiently for Jūshirō to bring out whatever he had put together for dinner. Jūshirō came out with a pot and nodded toward Shunsui, who got up and retrieved dishes. Ichigo didn't know what to do again, but he stayed still, staring at the top of the kotatsu.

"Here you are, Ichigo," Jūshirō said as he sat the bowl in front of him. He swallowed and thought it smelled really good. "Please, eat."

Ichigo tentatively picked up the spoon and started to eat a little of the soup that Jūshirō had put together. He saw them both watching him and knew that they would want him to eat well. He felt better now, and eating wasn't such a chore anymore. In soul form, he felt little hunger still, but he didn't want to make Jūshirō or Shunsui unhappy by not eating.

"Tomorrow, you'll come to my division," Shunsui said as they finished up.

Ichigo wasn't sure what to think about that, but he knew he'd do whatever his Shujin and Omo told him to do.

-oooooo-OOOOOO-oooooo-

The morning of the meeting, Jūshirō woke before Ichigo. He was nervous for him, because he had no idea how Ichigo would do meeting these police in the World of the Living. He was glad that he was going with them, to at least be near enough to talk to Ichigo should he need it. He had a feeling he would need it.

Over the last week, they had steadily gotten him to start talking more, but he didn't talk about what happened yet. He still nodded to everything he was asked to do, and Jūshirō had a feeling that habit would be one that was hard for him to break. Today would be a true test of how far he had come in that amount of time.

He woke him up gently and he blinked at him sleepily. Jūshirō smiled and nodded to him.

"Time for us to go to the World of the Living," he explained.

Ichigo had a look of sheer panic cross his face for a second before he got it under control. "Yes, Shujin," he whispered and got dressed in a clean yukata.

They arrived at Urahara's place in short order. They were met by Isshin and Urahara.

"Come, let's get you into your human body for today," Isshin said as he put a hand on Ichigo's shoulder. Ichigo flinched a little at the motion but nodded slowly as they walked into the shoten.

Ichigo stared for a minute at his body and then looked over toward Jūshirō and Isshin who waited nearby. "I wish I could see," he whispered before he settled into his body. He sat up and Jūshirō took one of his hands to help him get off the table.

Isshin had gotten a wheelchair to use for Ichigo. It was the easiest way to deal with his condition of not being able to see as well as the problem with his bones being so brittle. Jūshirō followed him to the car. Isshin helped Ichigo get into the car and Jūshirō got in the backseat. Ichigo was quiet all the way to the police station. Isshin got out and helped Ichigo get out and back into the wheelchair. Jūshirō stayed with them as Isshin navigated the station. They were taken back to a conference room and seated. Isshin sat beside Ichigo, and Jūshirō stood behind him. He put his hands on Ichigo's shoulders.

Ichigo sat with his head down and kept his hands in his lap. A few moments later, two men came into the room wearing suits. They seated themselves on the opposite side of the table and laid down files in front of them.

"We're waiting for Dr. Ishida and Dr. Oyama to arrive," the first of the men said. "I'm Captain Sekane, and this is Lieutenant Shiraki. We're going to be recording everything that is said in this room and it can be used in the trial if there is one." He had short black hair in an undercut style with hard brown eyes. He wasn't that imposing in build, but he certainly made up for it with his severe expressions.

Lieutenant Shiraki, on the other hand, had a gentle looking face with light brown hair framing it. His eyes were kind looking, Jūshirō decided. They waited a while longer until there was a knock at the door. The door was opened to reveal Uryū and a tall, thin woman with dark hair tied up in a bun on her head. She had striking blue eyes behind a pair of purple rimmed glasses. She took a seat at the end of the table, while Uryū sat down beside Isshin. He glanced at Jūshirō but didn't look for very long.

"Alright, let's begin." Captain Sekane pressed a button on a panel just inside the door and came to sit down. "This is official interview with Ichigo Kurosaki against Iho Ogawa and others. For the record, can you state your name?"

Isshin patted Ichigo's arm. "That's you," he said quietly.

"Um, I-Ichigo Kurosaki." He looked up from where he was sitting toward the man that was speaking even if he couldn't see him.

"Ichigo, can you please tell us what occurred with Kanjiro Ogawa," Captain Sekane asked.

Ichigo swallowed convulsively for a second until Jūshirō leaned down and spoke to him. "You can do this. Just tell them what you remember."

"I-I was w-walking down an alley. I stopped a kid from stealing Owner's phone-"

"Owner? Who is that?" Sekane interrupted.

"K-k-Kanjiro Ogawa," Ichigo stammered, already off because he'd been stopped in the middle of his thought.

"Why were you in that alley?" Sekane asked as he stared across at Ichigo.

"I w-was walking around. I liked to take walks at n-night." Ichigo was tensing already. Jūshirō put light pressure on his shoulders to assure him he was there.

"Please, continue." Sekane had a notepad and was taking notes as Ichigo spoke.

"He wanted to thank me. I-I went with him to his room because he wanted to g-give me his meal for the evening. He showed me family pictures and wanted to have a c-cup of sake, I remember. Th-then, when I tried to leave, I got dizzy and fell down. I can't remember much for a while, I just remember him putting his hands on me and not being able to stop him…" Ichigo trailed off and Jūshirō could tell his breathing had sped up.

"Did he say anything to you?" Sekane asked as he made notes.

"I don't remember clearly, it's all a blur until I woke up and he had tied me up and put me in his trunk."

Sekane nodded. "Alright, so you're saying that Kanjiro Ogawa drugged you and then abducted you from the Karakura Town hotel, correct?"

Ichigo nodded his head. Isshin whispered to him. "You have to speak out loud, Ichigo."

"Um, yes."

"So, you deny the claim that the abduction was a planned event done with your permission?" he asked.

Ichigo tilted his head to the side and seemed to stare at the captain. "Yes. I did not want to go with him."

"Had you ever seen Kanjiro Ogawa before that day?" Sekane wanted to know.

"No," Ichigo answered. He swallowed hard and Jūshirō knew that he was quickly reaching his limit already.

"What do you remember after you woke up in the trunk of Kanjiro Ogawa's car?" Sekane continued, writing notes as he went.

"H-he and his brother opened the trunk and s-said that Owner liked to drug young men and…and…" Ichigo stopped, breath rapid by this point.

"And what?" Sekane prompted without looking up.

"And r-r-rape th-them. He said that it was his bad habit." Ichigo's hands were twisting together and Jūshirō would have given anything to grab his hand. Instead, Isshin reached over and took one of his hands.

"So, his brother was there. Were they alone?" he asked.

"N-no…there was another person there, another b-boy." Ichigo noisily swallowed again. He had started to tremble a little.

"Easy, Ichigo. You're doing wonderful, alright? You're doing such a good job," Jūshirō told him as he squeezed his shoulders.

"Alright, is that all that you remember from the first night?" Sekane asked as he looked up and stared at Ichigo.

"N-n-no, I remember they carried me into the room where I was chained to a pole. They had given me something that made me weak and dizzy," Ichigo clutched Isshin's hand tightly. "He-he said that I was his p-pet now, a dog for him to use as he wanted."

Sekane made a note. "Then, can you tell me what that means?"

Ichigo swallowed again. "I don't understand."

"You said he was going to 'use' you as he wanted. What does that mean?" Sekane looked up with his serious face and again Jūshirō was glad Ichigo couldn't see. This man looked like he was questioning everything.

"Um…uh…" Ichigo stammered, going a shade or two paler as he sat there. "T-to service him."

"What does 'service' mean? I need you to be specific."

Ichigo looked slightly panicked. He grabbed both hands onto Isshin's one hand and his breath was heavy and noisy. "To have s-sex w-with them."

"Did this happen often?"

"Y-yes." Ichigo still clutched at Isshin's hand.

"Did you, at any time, consent to having sexual relations or being treated as a 'dog'?" Sekane still jotted down notes as he sat there.

Ichigo shook his head hard. "No, never."

"Did Kanjiro Ogawa ever say why he was keeping you chained in that room?" Sekane looked up to stare at Ichigo.

Ichigo shook his head. "He never said m-more than just he wanted a pet."

Sekane was quiet for a moment as he put down more notes on the pad of paper. He then looked over at Uryū. "Dr. Ishida, do you corroborate that the injuries that Ichigo sustained were severe?"

Uryū nodded. "I stand by the assessments in the medical records."

"Do you have anything you want to add, Ichigo?" Sekane asked as he put down his pen on the pad he was writing on.

Ichigo clutched at Isshin's hand again. "I-I didn't want anything that happened. I-I w-was forced into it. I j-just wanted to go home."

"Dr. Oyama, do you have anything you want to add to things?" Sekane asked, looking over to the tall woman who sat at the end of the table.

"I've been over the medical files including the psychiatric evaluations for the case. The damage done to Ichigo's mental state was severe as well. It was quite obvious he had endured multiple traumas. He has been diagnosed with severe post traumatic stress disorder. It is likely he will never be a fully functional adult," she said. "What was done to him was extreme. The idea that anything that happened to him was consensual is ridiculous. I go on the record stating that."

Jūshirō smiled because at least he had someone that was backing him up in the situation. He still felt him trembling through his hands where they rested on his back. "Just breathe, Ichigo. We'll go home soon."

Ichigo nodded his head, clutching still at Isshin's hand. Sekane looked back over to him. "That will be enough for today. We'll call you if we have any further questions."

Isshin stood up, letting go of Ichigo's hand and pushed him back out the door with Jūshirō following him. As soon as they got outside the room, the tension seemed to snap like a rubber band, and Ichigo gasped and began to rock back and forth in his seat. Isshin moved around the front and knelt there.

"Ichigo?" he asked, putting both hands on his knees as Ichigo covered his sightless eyes with his hands. "Come on, son. Let's get you out of here." He patted his knees and went back around to push him out of the police station. He quickly got him in the car and buckled in while Jūshirō got in the back.

"Do you want to go back to our house or to Soul Society?" Isshin asked carefully.

"S-soul S-Society. I need-need to go back there. I n-need…" Ichigo crossed his arms over his chest and held himself tightly.

Isshin nodded, looking a little sad but drove them to Urahara's. Jūshirō had thought he'd want to return to Soul Society. Once there, Isshin helped Ichigo walk back to the shoten where he was soon separated from his body once more. Isshin put his hands on Ichigo's arms and caught his eyes.

"Son, you can be wherever you want. So, I understand that Soul Society is the best place for you right now. At least there, you can have your sight back." He pulled Ichigo forward and kissed his forehead. "Be well, my son," he said quietly.

Jūshirō opened the way back to Soul Society, holding Ichigo's hand in his. He'd gone completely quiet, something that Jūshirō hated to see. They had worked so hard to get him to a point where he could speak with relative freedom. He only hoped this event didn't set him back to the beginning. They made it back to the estate and Jūshirō turned to him.

"Let's feed the koi today," he said and Ichigo just nodded, waiting as Jūshirō retrieved the pellets for the koi.

He led him out to the pond and was happy to see that he immediately put a hand in the water to attract the fish to him. They sat there in silence for a while as he fed the different koi by hand, not moving to get up. Jūshirō just let him do as he wanted because this was something he knew he liked.

"You know, Ichigo, when you're ready to talk about the things that happened, we'll listen to you. You don't have to keep it all inside," Jūshirō didn't know what else to say.

Ichigo merely nodded, continuing to feed the koi silently.