The Idiot and Freelancer in Remnant

Somewhere, in the universe, there was a planet. On that planet, were the universe's greatest warriors. The Reds and Blues…and freelancers. It was an average day for them. Sarge was constructing a bomb to use against gravity, Lopez was doing something behind the base, Grif was teaching Carolina the way of the lazy, Simmons was running around the entire planet after eating a mushroom, Donut was lighting his scented candles, outside the base this time, Tucker was in his room doing….things.

As for Caboose and Washington…

"No."

"Please."

The two were inside the base, in the kitchen area, with Caboose trying to convince Washington to give Freckles, his talking A.I. rifle, a new body. Needless to say, the argument consisted of "No" and "Please". You'd think he'd jump straight in to help, but constantly getting your tools stolen by Sarge isn't fun, and the fact that Donut burned down most of their materials.

"No."

"Please"

"No."

"Please"

"No."

"Pretty Please."

"No."

"Pretty...Please…with…peanut…butter sandwiches on top." Caboose said slowly and dramatically.

"No." Caboose took a deep breath and-

"Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasssssssssssssssssse" Washington silently praised God it was done but-

"Pleeeeeeeeeeeee-" Washington snapped and pounded his fist on the table.

"ALRIGHT CABOOSE YOU WIN!" He said, finally giving into Caboose's begging. Caboose was cheering for his victory.

"Hear that Freckles? You're going to be a real boy!" He said to his rifle, giddy "AFFIRMATIVE" The gun replied in a monotone voice. Caboose started to name things they could do together.

"We can play catch, drink orange juice, make peanut butter sandwiches, and then eat the peanut butter sandwiches, we can talk about how Tucker is stupid," He gasped.

"We can play hide and don't seek! That was Church's favorite game." He said, still giddy. Washington sighed, knowing it wasn't gonna be easy, but at least he had something to keep him busy.

"I'm going to go to the bathroom now. Goodbye Agent Washingtub!" He walked out of the base. A few minutes of silence passes.

.

.

.

Until Washington realizes something.

"He doesn't know where the bathroom is…Again" He sighed again, and began searching for the blue soldier.

He went outside and saw the familiar view of a plain grass field and white rocks. He walked towards Grif and Carolina, who were sat down with their legs crossed and hands up in a meditating stance.

"Padawan, you must realize that everything right now…Is not your problem."

"Everything right now…Is not my problem."

"Hey, have either of you seen Caboose anywhere?" He asked the duo, who in response, ignored him. "Everything right now…Is not my problem." Carolina repeated. Washington chuckled at her antics and was about to walk away until-

"HeyWashIthinkIsawCaboosewalkingbehindthebasegottagonowgonnahelpSargekbye" A hyperactive Simmons ran by the three. He took one last look at the duo "Never thought I'd say this to you but, you've thought her well, Grif." He walked towards behind the base.

(With Caboose)

Caboose was….staring…at…..nothing.

"Freckles?"

"YES CABOOSE?" The rifle wondered what his master was about to ask.

"You ever wonder….What'd be like to be a sword?" A moment of silence passes, until Freckles responded

"…AFFIRMATIVE CABOOSE".

"Yeah, it must be great to go swish….then another swish….and then a stab…" Caboose said slowly. Another moment of silence passes boy until Freckles noticed something.

"UNIDENTIFIED OBJECT DETECTED". Caboose looked at his rifle in confusion and asked

"What's an unidentified object?" Freckles responded by shooting at something. Caboose looked up and saw a plain white door with a black bar on top, it was connected to a lot of wires, which were connected to some kind of energy source. Caboose now only noticed the Spanish speaking robot beside it.

"Lopez, what is that?"

"No puedes entenderme así que no voy a molestar" (You can't understand me so I won't bother). He said. Caboose gasped.

"Freckles! We found the bathroom! Good Freckles" He petted his assault rifle. "OBJECTIVE COMPLETE". Caboose walked towards the door until he heard his name being called out. He turned to his right to see the freelancer walking towards him.

"Caboose! There you are, the bathroom's inside the base not outside." Caboose looked confused and raised his rifle towards the door.

"Then. What. Is. That." He said while bobbing his head up and down and pointed Freckles towards the door, Washington turned to see what Caboose saw, a door with wires. Washington was about to ask the robot what it was, but he knew better to not ask something he can't understand, so he had to see what it was about himself. Holding his pistol in one hand, he made his way toward the door, he grabbed the handle and prepared himself for whatever he was about to see.

Light. That's all he could see. A white light. Before he could react, Caboose pushed him out of the way.

"I found the bathroom first!"

"WAIT CABOOSE! NO!" He chased after the soldier into the never ending light. Lopez had one thing to say about this.

"Bien, mierda." (Well, shit).

-LINE-BREAK-

All Washington saw for a while was white, a blank image, however, it slowly faded into greenery. Once he could see things clearly again, "What just happened?" He said, to no one In particular. He saw Caboose lying on the ground yelling out-

"I'm dead! Very very dead!" Washington sighed in annoyance

"Get up Caboose.". Caboose did as he was told. Washington took a moment to look at his surroundings. The sky was blue, the grass was green, trees everywhere, a pack of black wolves with bone-like armor on their head and arms in front of them. It looked like another planet entirely, feeling pissed off that something like this happened to him…again.

"Caboose, let me handle this." He said, drawing his assault rifle from his back. He raised his fingers towards the wolves, showing the universal symbol of "Bring it on."

And it was brought.

Several wolves pounced at him. Washington reacted by rolling back and shooting them down. He continued to shoot for a while, before throwing his rifle at wolf, before grabbing it midair and shooting its skull point blank. Another one tried to bite him, but was met with a grenade in its mouth, exploding it from the inside. Washington continued his rampage against the wolves, before breathing heavily, and keeping his gun. He glanced at the blue idiot...

Completely unharmed.

"Why didn't they attack you?" Washington asked, frustrated and confused.

"Oh, it's probably because I'm happy." He didn't get a chance to question his logic when he heard a howl of another wolf. He looked up to see a much bigger and more armored wolf. He deduced it was the pack's leader or Alpha "Caboose."

"Yes Agent Washingtub?" Caboose said, oblivious to what's happening. "Err..That wolf is mean and is trying to hurt me." Washington replied, knowing what was about to happen.

The Alpha wolf tried to punch Washington, but his fist was stopped by Caboose's, creating a small shock wave behind him. The blue soldier stared directly at the beast's face.

"MY NAME IS MICHAEL J. CABOOSE" He said in his angry voice.

"AND I" he grabbed the wolf's massive arm with both of his hands.

He lifted the beast from the ground, much to its surprise.

"HATE" He began spinning himself along with the Alpha, spinning, spinning, spinning…Until…

.

.

"MEAN DOGGIES!" He said as he let go of the massive beast's arm, sending it flying towards the sky.

A moment of silence goes by.

.

.

.

"NICE ONE, CABOOSE" The rifle on his back replied surprised, not having seen this side of his master before. "Thank you."

Washington sighed. "Alright Caboose, let's try to find a way out of here, Freckles, can you determine where we are?"

"NEGATIVE, UNKNOWN LOCATION, UNKNOWN SOLAR SYSTEM."

He looked behind him to see a door, similar to the one he went through, except without the wires. He opened the door, only to find the same greenery he saw everywhere else, Suddenly, the black bar on the door showed something. "RECHARGING…ONE WEEK"

Washington, for the fifth time today, sighed in frustration.

"Well at least we have a way out of this. Grab the white door Caboose, let's look for some kind of form of life, or a shelter at least."

Caboose grabbed the door like he was told. "Okay!".

-LINE-BREAK-

"Well at least we have a way out of this. Grab the white door Caboose, let's look for some kind of form of life, or a shelter at least."

"Okay!"

The two were shown on some sort of holographic scroll. A man with gray hair, a black suit jacket, a black vest, a green shirt and black pants was watching the video. He also had black shaded glasses. Another man stood next to him. He had black hair, and wore a white overcoat over a gray overcoat and had plain white pants. Both of them had serious expressions on their faces.

"Do you know these people?" The gray haired one asks the other. The black haired one shook his head.

"Their armor looks somewhat similar to Atlas, but they look different at the same time. The black one seemed to have a similar voice to yours. They seemed to be very skilled to take down an entire pack of Beowolves and its Alpha on their own." The gray haired was in thought on why the blue one sounded like Profes…Er, Doctor Oobleck.

"Indeed, I shall send a team of students to find out who they are and whether or not they're a threat."

The black haired one looked at the other in confusion "Do you really think a team of students should do this, Ozpin?"

The one now known as Ozpin gave the other a reassuring look. "I'm sure, General Ironwood." He pressed a button on his desk and spoke. "Would Team RWBY please report to my office immediately, thank you" He lifted his hand from the button. Ironwood raised his eyebrow.

"What about that team makes you favor them so much?" Ozpin stayed silent. Ironwood was about to press further until he heard voices from the elevator.

"Yang, what did you do this time?"

"Hey! Why do you guys always accuse me?"

"Because you're the most hot headed of the team, AND you keep sending people to the infirmary."

"It's not my fault they can't-" The elevator opened to reveal four girls, three who looked at least 17 years old and one who looked 15.

The youngest one had black hair fading to red, along with silver eyes. She was wearing a long-sleeved black blouse and "combat skirt". She wore thick black stockings with black boots. Her outfit was topped with a red cloak attached to her blouse with cross shaped pins.

The next one had long white haired made into a ponytail with a tiara. She had pale blue eyes and a scar on her left one. She wore a white dress that fades to blue, another combat skirt. She had a short suit-coat with white outside and red inside. She had white combat high heels.

The next one had Amber eyes and long black hair. She wore a large bow on her head. She wears a black buttoned vest with coattails and a single silver button on the front. Underneath is a white, sleeveless, high undershirt and white shorts with a zipper on the front of each leg, along with black low heeled boots.

The last one had purple eyes and long yellow hair. She wears a tan jacket which had puffy sleeves with black cuffs with gold buttons. Underneath, she wore a yellow top with an emblem on the left side. She wore black mini-shorts and a brown belt with a somewhat transparent fabric. She was also wearing brown knee high boots.

"Hello girls, please take a seat." Ozpin gestured to the chairs in front of him. The four sat down on the chairs.

"So we're not in trouble are we?" The blonde one asked, who received a punch to her arm by the long black haired one.

"Ruby Rose, Weiss Schnee, Blake Belladona, Yang Xiao Long, I called you up here today because I'd like to send you to a mission of sorts." Which received a breath of relief from everyone. "Unless, of course, there is something you've done that requires my attention." He said with a slight smirk.

"Nope!"

"Nothing at all!"

" …"

"Why would you ever think that?"

They all said in unison with a nervous smile, except for Blake of course.

.

.

.

.

Breaking the silence, Ironwood decided to speak up.

"We've spotted two suspicious individuals in Emerald forest, we would like you to investigate who they are, and bring them here if possible." This received several confused looks from the four.

"What makes them suspicious?" Blake asked. Ozpin showed them the video footage of them fighting the pack of Beowolves.

"They seemed to be skilled individuals, with armor that looks very similar to Atlas', yet different." Their jaws dropped on the floor when they saw the blue one throw an Alpha Beowolf to the sky.

"They are in Emerald Forest, in the northern area. If possible, we'd like you four to do it without violence." Ironwood decided to add one last part.

"You can back out of this mission if you wish to. There is no turning back once you've made your decision."

The four girls looked at each other, Weiss decided to speak up. "With all due respect sir, I believe we can handle this mission for you." She said with a reassuring look. Ruby raised her fist into the air.

"Alllllllllllright Team RWBY! We have a mission to do!" The three others nodded and began running towards the elevator.

"One more thing girls."

They stopped in their tracks to listen to what their headmaster was about to say. He gave them a confident smile.

"Good luck."

They smiled back and got into the elevator.

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.

.

Once the two were alone, Ironwood spoke up.

"50 Lien says they end up having to fight them."

"I'll take that bet." Ozpin smirked. Though they were headmasters of academies, they were still old friends who loved to have some fun once in a while.

-LINE-BREAK-

So…yeah, I guess This is the end of the first Chapter of my first fanfic. Please don't judge me, since this is my first time at doing something like this.

I'm just going to clear up some things here.

I'm sorry if I suck at describing character appearances, I got most of the stuff for RWBY from the RWBY wiki, so all rights go to them or something, I don't know.

I also suck at fight scenes, so yeah.

If you have any criticism or tips that can help me be a better writer, feel free to post it in the reviews.

Thank you for reading, and have a good day.