Hey guys! I was drunk last night and just wrote this oneshot for fun. I remember thinking it didn't turn out as funny as I'd intended but oh well, I haven't updated in a while so here's a little something to hopefully keep you going until I do:)

Disclaimer: idk what this was honestly.

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Link was used to ambushes. He was used to the storm of wings in his face whenever he discovered a keese nest, or the occasional jump scare war cry of a rogue bokoblin on the edge of human territory, or even a tactless mogma popping up through his garden's pumpkin patch.

There was little that could startle him significantly, at this point. He seemed to be prepared for everything.

Which is why, he thought, he was incredibly foolish for taking a leisurely walk without his sword for once, and goddesses knew why he hadn't. Maybe his subconscious had been feeling extra confident that day. Or maybe he'd had an inkling that this was going to happen soon, and he knew there was no point in trying to fight back.

After all, this demon didn't back down easily.

Ghirahim hadn't announced his arrival for once, having simply dropped from a tree right on top of his old adversary, both of them toppling to the ground and the Demon Lord somehow managing to pin him down in a heartbeat, barely any struggle involved. His eyes were wild and hungry, roaming over Link as if in some sort of daze.

"Well, if it isn't Link," Ghirahim crooned, "I wouldn't have expected to run into you in these parts."

Link bared his teeth and glared at the demon on top of him, wriggling underneath his captor. His wrists were pinned tight against the mossy ground, and the scent of damp earth seeped onto the edge of his senses. His entire back half felt cold, and possibly damp.

"And - oh? What's this?" Ghirahim breathed, leaning down, getting closer. "You have nothing to defend yourself with."

"Get off me," Link snapped, struggling harder against his restraints, trying to roll out from underneath him.

"Now now," Ghirahim said firmly, leaning ever closer until his face was gone from view, Link only just catching a glint of white from sharp, slightly inhuman canines, before he felt them graze the skin over his throat. His eyes, annoyingly, immediately fluttered closed. "One doesn't address a Lord with such impertinence." Ghirahim whispered his words now, hot breath ghosting over Link's flesh in a way that made him shudder in barely-concealed anticipation. His fingers curled into fists, catching moss and earth under his fingernails.

He couldn't resist his retort. "Funny, I thought that you had to rule over something to be a Lord." He managed through gritted teeth, eyes flickering open to stare defiantly back at his assailant, who's pupils seemed to dilate at his words.

"Is that a challenge?" He asked, voice dangerously low. Link narrowed his eyes.

He didn't flinch when Ghirahim brought his own lips to meet his - he was ready, already wrestling the other's tongue for dominance when it entered his mouth, slipping his wrists out of Ghirahim's distracted grasp to wrap around his waist, pulling him in closer, the damp cold of his clothes rubbed at his arms and hips as they moved -

Link groaned, and broke the kiss.

Ghirahim calmed down a moment later, looking his human over.

"What's wrong?"

"Did you have to pick here?" Link said, slowly sitting up. Ghirahim moved backwards with him, paused, and then stood, offering a hand to Link.

"Thanks." He said as he was hauled up, shivering despite the flush in his cheeks. "Seriously, though, it's just rained-"

"Yes, princess, please excuse me." Ghirahim scoffed, folding his arms across his chest and glaring off into the distance. "I forgot you cared about your uniform so much."

"I just don't want to stink of dirt and moss when I go home!" Link said defensively, crossing his arms and looking away as well. He huffed. Ghirahim talked about him worrying about his appearance-

He felt arms snake around his waist from behind. He deliberately stayed tense.

"You know," Ghirahim said, a mischievous grin in his voice as he rested his chin on the top of Link's head, "if we'd continued down there, I bet you'd end up smelling of something much more appealing."

Link rolled his eyes, but he probably had a point. He turned slowly in Ghirahim's arms, pressing his hands up against the taller man's chest.

"I'm thinking somewhere drier," He said, looking up at Ghirahim as he leaned in. The tips of their noses brushed.

Ghirahim leaned down slightly so that Link could feel his lips millimetres from his, his voice was soft and playful. "Would you compromise with a tree?"

Link grinned and closed the gap, pressing a firm kiss against the other's lips. "You're so strange," he said, cupping Ghirahim's face in his hands when he heard someone clear their throat.

It was loud enough for them both to have heard it, but Ghirahim - being the bastard he was - continued anyway, fingers tightening around the fabric of Link's clothes as he tried to pull away.

"Hi, Link," Fledge said, barely-concealed amusement in his voice. Link met his former roommate's eyes. They looked unimpressed, and even though he knew that was just light-hearted (Fledge was possibly the least judgemental person he'd ever known), he still felt his face burn bright red. He squeezed his eyes shut momentarily, willing this to all be a dream.

Ghirahim had looked up as well, now, and Fledge nodded in greeting. "Ghirahim."

"Fledge!" Ghirahim replied musically, beaming and apparently delighted to see him. Link knew it was just because he'd know how embarrassing this was for him. Bastard.

"I would have just walked straight past, but. You guys are kind of in my path." Fledge said, now moving to take his steps past them. Link thought back to before he'd started getting buff and a butterfly could have made him jump. In this moment, he sort of missed under-confident Fledge.

"I'll see you guys later, though hopefully not like that again!" Fledge called over his shoulder, waving casually. Link fought past the wave of cringe rippling across his body to catch himself in time,

"Don't tell Zelda!" He shouted after Fledge, who just kept walking on with no reply. Link watched as he disappeared into the trees, before turning back to Ghirahim, who was still holding onto him, and promptly plonked his forehead against the demon's chest.

"When are you going to tell her that we're not really 'allies'?" Ghirahim said dryly, a reserved exasperation in his tone, his voice humming through Link's skull.

"We are allies!" Link said, keeping his head in place. There was a long silence that sounded like Ghirahim was giving him a withering look. "Probably never," he said eventually, giving in, and draping his arms loosely around Ghirahim's hips, face still hidden.

Ghirahim sighed.

"That doesn't mean I'm ashamed of you, though!" Link said cheerily, reassuringly, clutching tighter as he looked up. Ghirahim smiled down at him for a moment, amused, before his smile turned into a malicious grin. Link's eyes widened with something akin to trepidation, which only made the demon's grin wider.

"What if I'm ashamed of you?" He said, his face quickly melting into a cold smirk. "What if I'm tired of investing my time in a disobedient. little. human." He leaned closer on each of his last words, until he could only see defiant blue boring back into him, alight with realisation as Link figured out what he meant.

"...Do you want to find that tree?"