Severus and Harry remained hidden as the students started to come down the main staircase. They had seen Lupin heading down to the main staircase. They set up the trap and hid in the alcove and watched as Lupin triggered the prank. Lupin started screaming as he flew up into the air. Severus cast a Silencio on Lupin.
They remained in the alcove by the stairs and watched as the students started laughing at a hanging Lupin from the ceiling. Lupin's arms were waving, as he tried to swing up to undo the rope he was hanging from. The man was hairless, hanging upside down in pink panties (nothing was showing) and matching lacy pink bra. Lupin had bright red lipstick on, with hooker blue eyeshadow, and everyone could see matching bright red nail polish on Lupin's fingernails and toenails. He had on pair of high heel opened-toe black shoes. A banner was hanging above Lupin declaring that Lupin was available for employment.
"Wonder how much he charges per hour?" A Gryffindor loudly asked another Gryffindor, causing several to laugh.
"Not sure, but I'm sure he won't get many customers." Another Gryffindor answered.
"Who would hire him?" A Slytherin quietly asked.
"I don't think pink is his color nor that shade of lipstick." A Ravenclaw seventh year stated.
"I agree, maybe a peach color it would match is undies." A Hufflepuff held up her own lipstick.
"A nice coral shade like my own." A sixth year added. Soon other students were chiming in with their own beauty advice.
Dumbledore finally arrived and tried to get Lupin down. However, each time the man cast a spell the undergarments that Lupin was wearing changed color, causing students to laugh harder. The Furbies were doing catcalls while also suggesting jobs for Lupin. Dumbledore was getting annoyed at everyone laughing.
The Bratty Duo arrived with the Tickle Me Elmo. The Elmo's who added their own comments, including asking Weaslette if she was giving Lupin lessons, but added that since she didn't wear undies, she might instead take lessons from Lupin. The Elmo's starting listing off mail-order catalogs, which turned into insults. Soon all four of the toys got into a contest to see who could come up with the best insult for Lupin.
The students were laughing and calling out their own ideas on available jobs for Lupin. Many of the students were encouraging the four toys. The two Weasleys were trying to get their Elmo's to stop talking.
Dumbledore gave up on getting Lupin down and ordered everyone into the Great Hall for breakfast.
"Great food for the human eating machine that is just what we don't want to watch." Weasley's Elmo bellowed. "No one sit near him if you don't want to share his meal."
"This one might sit on someone's lap." Weaslette's announced. "Do try to remember how to act like a lady. She is also wearing undies for a change, so thank Merlin for small favors."
"Ron, Ginny go to breakfast, the rest of you, too." After the students reluctantly obeyed, Dumbledore faced Minerva. "Where is Augustus? I believe he is going to be needed for this prank."
The staff followed the students into the Great Hall, knowing that they couldn't do anything to help. They knew Lupin wasn't going to be removed any time soon. So did the students, many would be placing orders for pictures with Draco before the day was over.
"He hasn't arrived as of yet. He isn't due until tomorrow. He doesn't have classes today, so he wanted to use the time to review the lesson plans and finish his errands in Diagon Alley." Minerva cast a spell that put a sheet of cloth to hang in front of Lupin. "I will see if I can get in touch with him before he leaves his home."
Harry glanced at Severus, they smirked. Augustus was already aware of their plan and made arrangements for his floo to give a message saying to contact him at Hogwarts. Augustus was the one provided the way to make sure that Lupin wouldn't be in any danger from hanging upside down. While the Marauders' didn't make sure when they did their prank to Severus, they weren't going to take any chances.
"Perhaps Sirius might have an idea on how to break this prank, as I remember they did this prank to Severus." Minerva knew Dumbledore wasn't happy with this latest prank. "Though they did it outside but I do believe it's the same basic idea."
"Mr. Potter must have done this." Dumbledore declared.
"Mr. Potter hasn't even spoken to Sirius or Remus, so he would have no idea how the prank was done. Severus might have mentioned the prank being done to him, but I don't see Severus revealing that information. It's a clear Marauders' prank so I will speak to the Weasley Twins, they might have some information." Minerva wished Dumbledore would listen when people spoke to him. He was so blinded by what he wanted to happen that he was ignoring the facts.
"Minerva..."
"Don't Minerva me. For years you have tried to force that boy into relationships with the Weasleys, Sirius, and Remus. Mr. Potter has caring relatives and doesn't get into trouble. Be happy that he is so well-adjusted."
Severus and Harry had to cover their mouths. Harry being well-adjusted was very debatable. Severus and Harry started to head to the Great Hall. Black was the key to releasing the spell. As soon as Black mentioned any of the common prank release words the prank would release Lupin. Severus and Harry knew Black would get the blame.
"I'm also sure you do not want his aunt writing you another letter." Minerva warned. She had been listening to the staff voice their complaints to her about how Dumbledore needed to stop these yearly events.
"Good morning." Severus greeted them as they reached Dumbledore and Minerva.
"What's behind the sheet?" Harry pointed to the cloth.
"It's nothing for you to worry about, Harry. Why don't you head to breakfast?" Dumbledore waved his hand toward the Great Hall doors.
"Naked wolfie." The Furbies chorused. "Mutt teaches well."
"What?" Dumbledore turned his glaze to his Furbies. "Did Sirius tell you about this spell?"
"Mutt teaches us well." They chorused together.
"Who is the Mutt?" Harry innocently asked.
"It's was Sirius Black, I have no idea which last name is he using. What did the Mutt do now?" Severus wondered how Harry got the Furbies to say that. He reviewed the last few lines of conversation he had heard and realized Harry had set it for the Furbies to blame Black when Dumbledore said Harry.
"Remus is hanging upside down behind the cloth." Minerva explained. "He isn't dressed appropriately."
Severus stepped around Dumbledore and looked up. He snickered. "I see the Mutt has been busy. Since this is in direct line to the dungeons he must have meant for me to pranked."
"I don't believe Sirius planned on pranking you."
"Albus, Severus is correct, the prank was set in a direct line for Severus to walk from the dungeons to the Great Hall." Minerva never cared for the pranks the Marauders did. They didn't care if someone got hurt or embarrassed, whereas the other pranks over the years didn't embarrass or hurt anyone. This prank had the Marauders' name written all over it. She also knew that Sirius would deny it. "Mr. Potter, why don't you join your house?"
"Sure, have fun." Harry needed to speak to Draco about setting getting the film developed and how much they wanted to charge for a picture.
Severus waited until Harry was gone. "Since you are going to bring the Mutt here to fix this, remind him to stay away from me." He wished he could warn the Mutt away from Harry but knew Dumbledore would ignore whatever he said.
"Ohhhh the Mutt is coming to play with us." The Furbies cheered. "We have doggie biscuits for him."
Severus arched an eyebrow. "They appear to becoming better behaved."
"Yes, as long as Albus keeps giving them chocolate." Minerva had watched Dumbledore bribe the Furbies with behaving.
"Candy, candy." The Furbies began to chant.
Dumbledore held up a piece of chocolate. "I will go and get Sirius." Dumbledore headed to his office.
Severus walked with Minerva into the Great Hall.
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Augustus made his way to Severus' quarters. He wasn't a happy camper. He knocked and when Severus granted him entrance he honestly wasn't surprised to find Draco and Harry sitting on Severus' couch working on their assignments. Severus was at his desk correcting assignments. "Dumbledore is going to call a staff meeting."
"What did he do now?" Severus knew he wasn't going to like it. School had only been in session for less than two weeks.
"Lucius messaged me that he was able to get Sirius and Lupin hired as assistants. They will assist any professor; cover for when they need time off, or if they get sick. They will also be setting up a Defense club." Augustus went numerous times during the week to the Ministry to pick-up any assignments that needed his assistance. Lucius and him couldn't sit down and have lunch but when necessary Lucius would leave coded messages for Augustus. "I heard Lady Longbottom speaking to her brother and from what I heard Dumbledore was able to get around Sirius's little mental issue by saying he wasn't a professor but was going to assist."
"So he got them here by using the staff's requests for assistants." Severus and the rest of the staff had been asking for decades for assistants or even if they could use the upper years to aid in the classes, especially those who were also head of a house. Dumbledore always vetoed the idea. He claimed the upper years had to study for their NEWT's and there wasn't room in the budget for him to pay assistants.
"Great we get rid of one of them and two return." Severus knew the doggie duo was going to make his life difficult. He knew Lupin wasn't bad by himself but the Mutt was never going to change.
"You know Dumbledore is going to try and get me and Sirius to work on our godfather bond." Harry wanted nothing to do with the man. "Lupin kept trying to pull me aside to set up meeting times, so I don't think that will change."
"No, it won't. He is doing it because of the restraining order." Severus wanted to test some potions on the old fool. Dumbledore wasn't about to give up on having Harry's name linked to Dumbledore and the Weasley family. Dumbledore really wanted Harry to be willing to join the Order.
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Harry looked at Draco. The doggie duo had been had Hogwarts for a week and was driving anyone in Slytherin up a wall. Sirius made it clear his views on anyone in Slytherin.
Sirius would remove double the points from Slytherin for any infractions and refused to give any points to anyone in Slytherin. If anything happened Sirius would loudly state that it had to be done by a Slytherin. Sirius would immediately follow that up by saying how his godson was being ruined by all the snakes.
"I wonder…"
"Thinking of Sirius Noname and Lupin?" Draco and the rest of their friends were sitting in the dorm. They weren't sure how to get the Mutt from using the Black name without giving away that they knew. They were also not happy with all the points the Mutt was removing from their house. Draco lost ten points for his tie being loose after lunch, when Draco was heading back to the dorm.
"Yes, and I remember how much Weasley twins worshipped the Marauders. I say we use the Marauders' pranks." The Weasley Twins didn't worship the Marauders after they heard Sirius bragging about the pranks they did when they attended Hogwarts. While the twins were pranksters and always creating things, they didn't aim to hurt or humiliate anyone like Sirius did.
"I am game. I'm sure we can figure them out." Pansy, Blaise, and Theo headed toward the bookcase in the room. "Most of their stuff is based on Transfiguration, which we know that Harry's father was good at. None of them were good in Potions, so that leaves us with Charms."
"Lupin is good with Defense; some of those spells could be used in pranks." Theo added.
"A Black house elf might know if Sirius has them written down." Draco suggested. "Especially since Sirius can't get into any of the Black properties to collect his belongings."
"True and I know of one elf that hates Sirius. Severus was telling me about how Reggie and Sirius argue about the elf in Hogwarts and Sirius would complain about it at Order meetings when Sirius would start to whine about his how evil his family was. Severus said Sirius is still complaining about his dark family. According to Severus and Augustus, Sirius wants to find out who Lord Black is and get back into the family. Sirius is hoping I will accept him when I come of age."
"They had to keep notes. Look at that map. I bet between a Potter and Black elf we will find something." Draco pulled out some parchment. "While they do that, I have an idea on what we can do to the idiot duo."
"So do I. Something that will make them think they are winning." Harry pulled out his own stack of parchment. "Let's get started."
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Pansy knew she was being followed, it took her long enough to get them to follow her. She headed toward the unused classroom where she knew her friends were waiting. She entered the room. "They are coming."
Harry smirked as they waited for the sensor to let them know the duo was close. "So are you all set for the poker game tonight, Draco?"
"You bet, Harry, I've been reading up on the game till I've become an expert." Draco had made sure to be seen reading the book by Weaslette.
"That's great." Harry shuffled some cards near the door, so that Weasley and Weaslette would hear.
"Which type of poker will we play - auction or contract?"
"Draco, I'm sorry to tell you this but uh, you read up on bridge. You better forget about playing poker and stick to playing the flute that your mother wants you to keep play." Harry tried not to laugh.
"Oh, I've just about given up the flute. My lip's not as strong as it used to be." Draco made some kissing sounds. "I don't want to damage my lips. I have a lot of years that I need to use them for."
"Well, I'm not sure. I mean there is a huge difference between Bridge and Poker. I wouldn't want to clean you out of your allowance."
"Yeah, Draco, there is." Blaise added. "You remember what your father said about spending your allowance. He said he wasn't going to give you extra money." Lucius really hadn't but they knew that information would confirm to Dumbledore there was an illegal poker game happening.
"Oh, please let me play. Why, Mind Healer Miller says that I should mingle with you fellas. He says that my association with Pansy's beauty club has been bad for me. They made me an honorary woman, you know." Draco had to cover his mouth as Pansy fluttered her eyelids.
"We did. He fits right in. He has given us some great tips on the right fitting clothes for our figures. He also has some great hair treatments that have worked wonders on Millie's hair." Pansy gave Draco a pat on the back.
"They did. My hair is so soft and it's not frizzy any longer." Millie gave a girlish giggle. "I know Vincent likes the change."
"Yes, I found some really great clothes for my frame." Daphne added.
"I know, I know. You told me about it when you were showing off your new skirt." Harry saw Theo shake his head. The duo was still listening.
"The Mind Healer says if I'm not careful, I'll develop a split personality." Draco was trying hard to keep a straight face. He was so glad his back was to the door.
Greg gasped. "Oh dear sweet Merlin, Harry, we have to let him play, we can't split his personality!"
"We can't have that. He barely has a personality as it is. We have four hours to the game starts. Now, let me explain the difference between poker and bridge. You see, there are fifty" Harry was about to continue when the warning bell sounded, Theo smirked as the duo took off. "Ok, everyone get it set up."
Soon the room was filled with boxes, trunks, broken items they got from the Come and Go Room. They knew the duo would inform Dumbledore. Dumbledore would come looking for the game since gambling like a poker game was against the rules after Granger had complained to the Headmaster about the flaw in Hogwarts: A History during their first year.
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It was almost seven and Dumbledore dragged Severus, Minerva, and Filius down to the room that the two Weasleys told him about. He didn't want to take a chance that if he did it by himself having anyone claim he was lying.
Dumbledore knew if he tried to say he was going on information provided by the two youngest Weasleys, no one would believe him. He told the staff that the house-elves had asked him if they could provide snacks for the poker game that was going to happen on the second floor, west side classroom.
"Albus, I told you there is no poker game." Severus knew the boys played poker in their dorm room. Harry was a card shark and the boys refused to play for money with Harry.
Dumbledore had been trying to get Harry into a detention with the Doggie duo since they arrived at Hogwarts. Dumbledore firmly believed that once Harry had a bond with the Doggie Duo everything would miraculous work out. Harry would be the perfect Gryffindor, Sirius would be a Black again, Lupin and Black would be able to be professors as Augustus would return to the DoM. Harry would request to live with his godfather and rainbows would follow Dumbledore around. Fine, the rainbow part was Severus' idea.
"I should hope not." Minerva was getting tired of the games Dumbledore was playing. "It's bad enough having Sirius here playing those awful pranks." Minerva was the one who pointed out that the pranks were similar to the ones that occurred during the Marauders time period.
Severus wasn't sure how Harry had been able to talk some of his snakes into agreeing to allow the Marauders' pranks be used on them, but every time one of the pranks happened Minerva would glare at the Mutt, Lupin, and Dumbledore. The Mutt would laugh at the prank and he would start "a remember when" with Lupin.
They arrived at the room. The hall was empty, even the ghosts were in the hall. "It's awfully quiet for a poker game." Filius waved his wand. "No charms are up."
"I agree. I am finding no spells have been cast in the last hour or so." Minerva put her wand away. Dumbledore opened the door and a pile of trash fell on top of him. "I think you have the wrong room."
"Let's get him out from under there." Severus sighed. He knew this year was going to be long school year and so far it was it was turning out that way. It was still September and it felt like it should be May.
Lupin had been trying to control the Mutt, but the Mutt was acting like he was back in Hogwarts during their teens. The Mutt kept calling him Snivellus and encouraged the Weasley Twins as well the as their younger siblings. Thankfully the Weasley Twins weren't out to embarrass anyone.
Dumbledore went down the entire hall opening the doors to the empty rooms, and they to unbury him from the piles of trash in each room. "Well, this shows we need to clean out Hogwarts." Minerva commented as they were finally finished looking into the last room, with its trash covering Dumbledore.
They stuff the trash back into the rooms. "I am sure we can assign a room as detention to a few people, with Sirius and Remus as supervisors." Severus knew as soon as Dumbledore said those words exactly who Dumbledore had in mind for the detentions.
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It was now mid-October and Harry was storming his way away from the Transfiguration classroom. McGonagall had been busy today and Lupin and Sirius had taken her class. Sirius was using the name Black, but Harry couldn't do anything about it without revealing he was Lord Black. He was going to write to Lucius to see what could be done.
Lupin and Sirius would also try and corner Harry in the halls or library, usually with Weasley and Weaslette trying to get close enough to talk to Harry. They duo seemed determined to work on their godfather relationship with Harry no matter how many times Harry turned them down. Sirius kept insisting that he had a lovely new home for Harry to come and live with him.
Any class that Harry shared with Weasley resulted in Harry being asked to remain behind if Lupin or Sirius were teaching the class that day. Weasley had remained behind a few times on his own to speak to Harry, but the restraining order prevented him from getting close to Harry. Sirius and Lupin would ask Harry to remove the restraining order on the two Weasleys.
This new idea had Lupin and Sirius trying to get Harry to join their new Defense club. They started last week in asking Harry to join the club. So each time they saw Harry they would try and talk to him into joining. Dumbledore hadn't announced the club, and so far it seemed to be invitation only. Harry and the other Slytherins who knew about the club knew who was invited. The invitations went to those that Dumbledore believed would follow him.
"Harry?" Draco had waited behind after Lupin again asked Harry to stay behind after class. "You know they are going to keep doing it."
Harry stopped and smirked. "I have an idea. They keep insisting that we can't be true friends, how about we do something about it."
Draco grinned. "Burns and Allen?"
"Yes, I think it's time."
"I agree, I say we think of it as an early Samhain present." Draco saw Harry's mood was lifted by the idea.
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Draco and Harry were sitting at the Slytherin table across from each other, instead of next to each other like they normally did. They weren't speaking to each other. They hadn't spoken to each other all day. They had done it at lunch and noticed that Dumbledore, Lupin and Sirius seemed interested in what was happening. Now it was time to move it forward.
"Draco, would you like some sugar for your tea?"
"Blaise, tell Harry that I don't want any."
"Harry, Draco said to tell you he doesn't want any." Blaise and a few select Slytherin had passed on a tale of Harry and fighting to some Ravenclaw and Hufflepuffs, who they knew would share it with the Gryffindors.
"Well, tell him he's not going to get any." Harry was clearly annoyed at Draco.
Blaise gave a dramatic sigh. "Draco, Harry said to tell you you're not going to get any."
"Well tell him thanks." Draco didn't look at Harry.
"Harry, Draco said to tell you thanks."
"Oh, tell him welcome." Harry was facing the Gryffindor table and could see the Weasley duo was very interested in what was going on.
"Draco, Harry said to tell you're welcome." Blaise shrugged his shoulders at Theo.
"Here comes Pansy." Draco looked at his girlfriend. She looked a bit upset.
"Something really needs to be done."
"What's the matter, Pans?" Draco moved a bit down the table to make room for Pansy to sit down.
"Someone's duck is outside and it just bit me on the ankle."
"Now don't be silly. A duck has no teeth and there aren't any ducks at Hogwarts." Greg commented from across from Pansy.
"Well, I don't want to be gummed to death by a duck that doesn't really exist." Pansy looked at her ankle.
"Hello, Pansy. I didn't know we had fake ducks at Hogwarts. I always wanted a real pet duck. Maybe I can call it Henrietta." Harry wondered how long it would take Sirius or Lupin to get him a pet duck. They had a betting pool going on when one would arrive.
"Say, what's going on? Are you playing that pass a message game we read about in Muggle Studies? Telegraph or telephone?" Vincent looked up from his meal. "It sounded interesting."
"No, Vincent. Harry and I are acting like idiot. Blaise, tell Harry I'd like to make up."
"Hey, wait a minute. I want to get in this game, too. Blaise would you tell it to me and I could tell it to Harry?" Greg looked at Blaise. "It sounds like fun."
"We aren't..."
"Oh, let him play, Draco!" Blaise gave him a sad face.
"Fine."
"Vincent, Draco told me to tell you to tell Harry that he'd like to make up."
"Harry, Draco told Blaise to tell me to tell you that he'd like to make up."
"Would you mind repeating that question?" Harry winked at Draco.
"You heard him! You heard him! I told Blaise to tell Vincent to tell you that I would like to make up!"
"Well, as long as we don't have to kiss each other." Harry laughed.
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Harry looked at the box with holes in the top of it. He had arrived at his dorm room after Charms to put his books away before lunch. Harry carried the box out to the common room. "Draco, Blaise, Theo, you guys aren't going to believe this."
Everyone gathered around the box. "Who had before lunch today?" Pansy asked.
Draco pulled out the betting book. "Check first to make sure it's a duck."
Harry opened the box. He started laughing. "It's not just a duck." He stepped back as everyone looked in and saw four baby ducks. The four babies were quacking; their yellow fuzzy bodies were filthy. "I will see if one of the house elves can get us a tub for them to swim and clean themselves until Uncle Lucius can come and get them later."
"I don't think anyone had four ducks." Vincent looked into the box.
"It's a good think my aunt and uncle build a duck house and pond." Harry searched around the box. "I didn't see a card, did anyone else?"
"I didn't. However, Marcus got the time right." Draco announced to the seventh-year. "The ten galleons are now yours."
"Let's name them." Pansy rubbed a finger down on of the babies head's. "We have to name two of them after Burns and Allen because it was their skit we used to get the ducks."
"I wonder what else we can get from those two idiots." Blaise knew Harry was going to have fun with them.
"Halloween is coming up." Harry wiggled his eyebrows. "I'm sure we can come up with an epic prank in celebration."
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Harry knocked on Severus' office door. He entered when Severus granted him access. "Severus, does Dumbledore have a policy on clowns or a circus?"
"No, I don't think anyone has ever had a reason to create a policy like that."
"Thanks." Harry disappeared before Severus could ask any questions.
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Halloween:
All the students were crowded around the Great Hall doors. Everyone was buzzing, wondering what this year's prank would entail. They heard a huge gong and the doors slowly opened.
The Great Hall was transformed into arena. Clowns acting like ushers started guiding the students to the seats around the area. Hanging down the farthest wall was a banner that read Cirque du Soleil –KÀ.
As the students were sitting down a voice started speaking. "KA: The glory of battle, the rush of victory. Gravity defied, enemies confronted, noble combat becomes acrobatic. War has never been fought this way. A colossal, moving stage is the battlefield. Up is down, land becomes sky. These dimension-bending confrontations redefine what it means to fight. Bodies full of strength, glowing with light and heat. Minds as bright and clear as the vast heavens, the great ocean, and the highest peak. Determination is the path, victory the reward.*
Soon the room darkened and the show began. Students were awed as the show worked its magic. The normal Halloween Feast was long forgotten as the stars of the show glided, swung, and flew through the air.
Harry leaned back in his seat. He knew his Uncle Yuri's family was talented but he had never seen them perform before.
*That is a direct quote from the Cirque du Soleil's website.