Harry Potter and the Deathly Dinochrome

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor do I own Bolo's…if I did, settling copyright infringements would be both simpler, and far more destructive…!

No profit is gain from these scribblings, just for my own personal amusement.

Harry Potter dived into cover as spell fire erupted around him, the stone gargoyle so recently blasted from Hogwarts ramparts shuddering from multiple impacts of green red and yellow energy bolts. Chips of stone, and clods of earth rained down on Harry as he hunkered down, gasping for breath behind the ruined stonework. A lull in the battle allowed Harry to discern the mocking laughter of the self styled Dark Lord, Voldemort, as he strode towards the winded boy. Harry risked a quick glance around the edge of his cover, and narrowly avoided a Reducto to the face from a Death Eater following behind Voldemort – the Dark Lord span on the spot, hissing ~CRUCIO!~ at the rabid follower. He held it for a good ten count before releasing the twitching, screaming Death Eater…..'FOOL' he intoned, 'None shall kill Harry Potter but ME !...is that not right Harry?' Voldemort questioned, as he smoothly turned back towards where Harry was sheltering.

Harry had not, however, been idle while his enemies had been bickering over who, exactly, got to kill him.

He had recalled a spell, a very dangerous, power intensive spell that Hermione had found for him as a weapon of last resort. She had hesitated to even teach it to him, as, in her words 'It requires so much magical power to cast, I think it would kill any other wizard who tried to cast it!'

Still, surrounded and at Death' s door, and all that..

So, as Voldemort turned oh so smoothly to face the ruined gargoyle once again, Harry popped out of cover, and, gathering all his strength, rage, and courage, roared his spell at the universe.

~EXPECTO FAMILIARIS FICTIONALIS!~

Voldemort reflexively threw up a Protego shield as the impossible bolt of purple flavoured flatly triangular, 4 dimensional….something…blasted from Harry's wand, accompanied by a curious wet, ripping sound. He needn't have bothered – the spell flew past his right ear, no closer than 2metres, before arrowing straight into the edge of the Forbidden Forest. The Dark Lord chuckled softly, before bursting into cruel laughter as Harry, now totally spent, collapsed to the ground, trying to weakly claw his way back behind cover. 'Is that the best you can do young Harry? It was powerful, I grant you, but we really MUST work on your aim. Why, in MY day, I…'

The monologuing went on, Harry too tired to care, and Voldemort too set on self agrandisment to notice what was happening behind him – the bolt of raw magic – raw imagination magic, to be exact, churned and boiled away…raging silently as it worked on Harry's intent at the time of casting – something loyal, protective, unstoppable: something from a book Hermione had recently lent him…

Behind Voldemort, a thick, swirling, mist of both nothing, and yet something( with a curious hint of Jasmine) had formed. Dark silhouettes began to shift, and take shape within the cloud…

#+++Personality Centre synchronisation at 100℅+++ Initialization complete. Releasing control to Main CPU+++#

I awaken.

This place is unfamiliar to me. I devote 0.037 seconds to taking a radio telescope fix of the local star clusters, and comparing the results to archived star charts. Earth, late 20th Century, and from my INS system, I can tell that I am in the upper reaches of the Scottish Highlands. How I came to be here is unknown, but, as I search my data banks, I find an all pervading impression – less a message, and more of a hardwired instinct…Save the students and staff of Hogwarts – at all costs!

A sensor alert flares in my consciousness – there is a high strength EM Field pervading this area, along with vicious, though curiously small EMP spikes in the Y-band, nothing that my shielding and armour cannot handle - but a moment later, I find myself in Full Battle Reflex Mode, as my integrated tactical system classifies the EMP Spikes as weapons fire. A rush of new awareness washes over me as new synapses are energised, unlocking my full potential. I perform a Level 9 scan of the area, and I am shocked to find that most of the combatants are human, that are genetically capable of energy manipulation!

Further interpretation of the sensor data causes a spike of what could only be rage to flood through my systems, threatening to activate my baseline Resartus Protocols as I nearly lose control from emotional overload.

It seems that, what can only be Adult…Wizards, for want of a better term, are attacking what amounts to a school for their kind, along with a horde of what I recognise from various mythologies as Giants, Vampires, Werewolves, and what appears to be some kind of Demons. Again, the hardwired impression provides the name of the facility- this is Hogwarts, the place I am sworn to protect.

Enough. I have devoted a full 1.5 seconds to my deliberations. My BattleFields flare into being. It is time to act.

'…and now, Harry Potter, we duel, one last time…rise up, my young 'Boy-Who-Lived', rise up, so that all your friends may see you fall again!' Voldermort gestured with wand, causing Harry to levitate to his feet, so he could clearly be seen from the castle ramparts.

'As you know Harry, first we bow…' Voldemort twisted his wand gently, causing Harry to bend at the waist, in a cruel mockery of respect. 'Then, we salu – What is that?!' Voldemort twisted round, wand held out, as the ground began to shake and shudder. His snakelike eyes grew wide when he saw the roiling cloud, and he felt a small, ruthlessly quashed tinge of fear as…something…huge…began to emerge from the mist. It looked almost like…but how had the boy?...never mind, Voldermort's natural arrogance reasserted itself.

'Oh, well played Harry, a Muggle tank – big as it may be, I have nothing to fear from it, as I shall show you…!' Voldemort reared up, waving his wand in an intricate weave of magic, before slashing it down and snarling ~OLBITERICO MAXIMUS!~ and sending a sickly orange spell flying towards the tank. Voldemort's smug look however, quickly changed as the spell slammed into a red tinged geodesic barrier, that briefly became visible as it dissipated the spells energy. A deep throated chuckling echoed across Hogwarts grounds, and a gravelly, Canadian accented voice intoned 'Is that the best you can do? Hmm…my turn!'

'What are you!?' shrieked Voldemort - he spun to face Harry, 'What have…' ,but Harry was not there – he had wisely slipped away while Voldemort was distracted.

'I am a Mk. XXI, Model G Bolo, Unit 2057-BRN of the Line…

You may call me…Brian…and I AM YOUR DOOM…'

'FOR THE HONOUR OF THE REGIMENT!' The sentient mobile fortress roared, its vast, 5 metre high tracks churning up the ground as the behemoth began barreling straight at Voldemort and his Death Eaters. At the Dark Lords command, a gaggle of broom riding wizards slashed down upon the top of the Bolo, firing blasting curses as they dove. This proved to be unwise. Three turrets along the flanks of the vehicle whipped round, almost faster than the eyed could follow, and unleashed a torrent of actinct blue energy bolts that felled almost all the Death Eaters – two escaped by twisting aside at the last second, but were blotted from the sky moments later by a pair of hypersonic point defense missiles. A storm of ion bolt infinite repeater blasts scythed towards Voldemort, forcing him to Apparate away, reappearing near the Giants, but not before the high powered energy blasts blew through the magical shield around Nagini, shredding the familiar in the blink of an eye, along with half the assembled Death Eaters.

Howling with rage, Voldemort sent the Giants rampaging towards the Bolo, swinging their tree trunks to and fro, bellowing deafening battle cries. The Bolo angled towards the oncoming beasts, not slowing a bit. Massive armoured panels slid open atop the bow, revealing the muzzles of eight breech loading 30cm Mortars, which instantly went to rapid fire, hurling hundreds of tonnes of high explosives at the onrushing Giants. The ground around them erupted in a storm of flame and shrapnel, as a mixture of explosive, napalm and submunition shells carpeted the area, leaving nothing but a faint red mist behind…and the Bolo ground onwards towards Voldemort's new position, inifite repeaters blazing non stop, cutting down swathes of the Dark Army. A whole hoard of Dementors swooped down upon the rear flank of the vehicle, only to fall foul of the laser point defence cluster mounted there - the high powered chemical lasers poured horrendous amounts of energy into the eldritch abominations, which burst instantly aflame, screaming as they flared blackly into nothingness.

Voldemort screamed with rage as Bellatrix Lestrange attempted to face down the fast approaching 13,000 ton behemoth, only for the Bolo to contemptuously ignore her spells as it raced past, blowing the insane witch apart with a Claymore antipersonnel mine as it tore by. He twirled his wand, and putting all his power into the spell, screamed ~'ARRESTO MOMENTUM'~. A bright stream of energy tore from Voldemort's wand, connecting with the Bolo's BattleField in a massive flare of energy. Somehow, impossibly, he seemed to be slowing the metallic monster's headlong rush – friend and foe alike gaped in astonishment at the sight, and the battles around the epic duel stuttered to a halt as everyone stopped in amazement.

'I've got you now, monster', Voldemort exclaimed, as he poured energy into holding back this 'Bolo' creation of Potters, he began to gloat, but his moment of glory was cut across by the infernally calm voice of the vast machine…

'No, little wizard, it is I who have you!' In an instant, Voldemort could feel the draw on his magical reserves increase – his eyes widened: Was this machine absorbing his power?! With a mighty effort of will, Voldemort managed to cut the flow of energy, but he was left gasping for breath, and so low on magic…

'And now, as I said, it is MY turn'

Voldemort looked up to see the Bolo's massive main turret whirr smoothly around, until the cavernous twin cannon muzzles were pointed directly at him, an ominous blue glow in their depths, coupled with a building high pitched whine. Voldemort sneered – he had power enough to withstand this '~ PROTEGO MAXIMA~' he screamed shrilly.

The next millisecond, the very air screamed as twin bolts of plasma lighting flashed across the battlefront, and a 2.75 megaton per second bolt of thermonuclear destruction slammed into Voldemort at a significant fraction of the speed of light.

There was absolutely nothing left.

Apart from the 150' crater where the Dark Lord used to be.