A/N: I am back! Thank you so much to all those who have encouraged me to continue this story, it is here! For those who are new to this story, I will encourage you to check out The Road Taken before reading this, as it might be difficult to understand the journey these characters have been through without the first instalment. A big thank you to joabbot from AHA for beta-reading The Road Taken, and for offering to help me with this new story, I greatly appreciate that. Without further ado, enjoy!
Prologue
July 1811
Dear Amelia,
I rejoice to hear news of your safe arrival at Dalton Hall, and I now pray that your time spent with your family will renew your strength. I wish that I was with you, that I might offer any help that I can give, but I respect your decision to return to your parents' estate. There are many comforts to be found in ones' childhood home and I pray that you find the comfort you are looking for.
London has quickly lost its charm and since we are not here to enjoy the season, we have decided to follow your example and return to the countryside. Our return to Pemberley will not be direct; as it is our intention to visit Mary and Simeon in Barton Hall, and then go on to Nettleham before finally making our way home. It will be a long journey and I can envision many days spent on the road, but I do hope many wonderful memories are created before I become too impatient with the journey we hope to undertake.
How is darling Eliza doing? I can scarcely believe it has been a week since I saw her precious, beautiful face. Is she much changed? It is unfathomable how quickly babies change. I hope to hear word of her continued good health soon.
And my dear, be strong. Remember, let tomorrow worry about its own issues. Today is what matters.
Your dearest friend,
Lizzy
August 1811
Dear Amelia,
I am saddened to see that my letters have gone unanswered. I hope that I have done nothing to cause you harm. If I have, my dear friend, forgive me. I know you are experiencing a trial that I could not possibly imagine and I know my meagre words cannot provide any real comfort. I wish I could wrap you in my embrace; that my warmth might succeed where my words have failed. But I remember you always in my prayers.
Mary sends her love; I am sure she will write to you and perhaps she has already done so. I hope I do not ask for too much, but a few words from you will reassure my worried heart. I know it is selfish of me to ask that you take the time to comfort me during such a time like this, but please let me know you are physically well and that little Eliza continues in good health.
I wait to hear from you.
Your dearest friend,
Lizzy
September 1811
Dear Amelia,
Words cannot express my relief to hear from you. I rejoice to know that you remain strong. I must tell you that your letter has made quite the journey. But thankfully it made its way to us in Nettleham. I am so encouraged to know that you desire to hear from me, and the care that you have for my family is a credit to your precious heart.
We are all doing very well, and have made it to Nettleham in good health; if a little weary of travelling. We had to stop in London on our way from Kent to attend a wedding. It may not surprise you to hear, for I am sure your mother is keeping up with the news from London, Lord Cromford has married Lady Agatha Huxley. I must say I am disappointed in his choice, but I wish them well. As they will soon find, marriage is not a thing to enter into lightly.
Evelina has grown so much. If she were not my child I would not recognise her. She has begun to crawl and so her nurse must watch her very closely. She is forever wanting to be on the move; I see the makings of an excellent walker and of that, I am very proud.
Things are very difficult in the North. The whispers of industry have called many young and able men away from the villages, and of course, the work is not as available as the rumours have led many to believe. So people are becoming desperate, and desperate people are foolish people.
But I must say I am very impressed with John; my brother has changed in ways I did not imagine he would. Andrew, God rest his soul, would be very proud. He has in a short amount of time become a gentleman I can respect.
My dear friend, I know that I am trespassing on your good grace by asking what, right now, seems impossible. But I must ask for my sake, for your sake and for Elizabeth's sake, try to cherish these precious moments with her. Children grow up so quickly, and too many children grow up unsure about their mother's love. I know you would not want that to be the case for Eliza.
I look forward to hearing more of your progress.
Your dearest friend,
Lizzy
October 1811
Dear Amelia,
I am sorry to hear my last letter caused you pain. But from the news you shared with me, I rejoice in the fruits of such clumsy words. Our experiences are very much alike; a mother's love is scary in its intensity.
I do admit, it is as you suspected, I have been withholding news of how Philip is doing in my letters. I foolishly thought it might pain you too much to hear about him. But I see that I was wrong.
He is doing very well and has gained the most enjoyment from all our travels. He has also grown so much and is the best brother Evelina could ever have. Now that she is moving everywhere, he has taken an interest in her. Mostly their relationship consists of him pulling his toys out of her tight grasp. But he has voluntarily shared a few of his soldiers with her. Although, I do think he chose to do so because she causes less damage to them than the dogs. He thoroughly enjoyed his summer and has gained a little knowledge of cricket. His shock could not have been greater to see that his mother can hit quite well; he was quite in awe. I think that bat has earned me his admiration for life.
Our journey to Pemberley took another necessary detour; I begin to fear we will never make our way home. But it would seem there was some miscalculation as to when Jane's confinement would end. So I am happy to announce that it has had the most successful end, and on the 16th of October, Jane was delivered of a very healthy baby boy, named Robert Thomas – for his father and grandfather.
I am very pleased at the arrival of my first nephew, although I will admit to you and Fitzwilliam that I was a little jealous that Jane should have such an easy go of things. But in keeping with her nature, everything was perfectly calm and serene. That, in fact, is how one would describe Ledford Hall; if my mother was not present. It seems Jane's smooth labour has resurrected the old Mrs Bennet, which is a shock for everyone at Ledford Hall; for I am convinced that even the walls have not heard a cross word spoken.
Surprisingly, Mama still dotes on Evy. I had thought that if the novelty of a granddaughter had not worn off yet, then Jane's delivery of a male child would be sure to replace Evy from her grandmother's good graces. But I can report that my mother still thinks she can do no wrong.
Papa is happy to see the return of the wife he has known for the past twenty years. It would seem that he would prefer to have a wife he can make sport of, rather than one whose companionship he can enjoy. Well, I wish them well. They will soon be each other's sole companion, as it has been decided that Lydia and Kitty will return with us to Pemberley; when we finally make our way there, and all the girls will begin preparations for their curtsey to the queen in the next season.
As you can imagine, there were great jubilations at that pronouncement, but I believe they are all ready. Lydia's manners are so greatly improved I would be proud to sponsor her. With the preparations for the upcoming season, I will have much to occupy my time. So please bear with me if my succeeding letters are filled with nothing but complaints about the task I have to undertake, and I welcome any advice you wish to give.
Please remember us in your prayers.
Your dearest friend,
Lizzy
November 1811
Dear Amelia,
We have finally made it back to Pemberley and everyone greatly rejoices over that fact. I think renting a house in Bath is a wonderful idea and I am sure Eliza will love it. It is perfectly understandable that the Durham estate is not appealing for now. I am glad Dalton Hall served its purpose, for however short a time, and please know you are always welcome at Pemberley should you choose to journey north.
There is much work to be done at Pemberley for myself and Fitzwilliam. Many things on the estate calls for his attention and my time is split between the preparations for the ladies' coming out and my duties on the estate.
I now have some rather strange news to impart, Lady Charlotte is married to Lord Keighley. It was all rather rushed; if I do say so. But then in one aspect, it has been a long time coming. From what I hear, he first asked for her hand in marriage five years ago. Why Charlotte made him wait so long I cannot determine. But then that is Charlotte's way. They do seem very happy together and I wish them well.
Lord Cromford was very pleased, he has been seeking that political connection for some time now. His Lady, however, was not happy. She found their small country wedding to be vulgar and below the expectations of the family. They were married by special license in her family's church one week after her acceptance; no one can begrudge the gentleman his haste after waiting for so long. But I do suspect the joy of disobliging her new sister spurred Charlotte on to agree to such a simple wedding.
Nothing, it seems, can please Lady Cromford. She has taken it upon herself to find fault in my plans for the ladies' coming out. It is all too ridiculous and I would not have given her the time of day, but she had the audacity to question what she sees as my tentative access to the first circles. I politely reminded her that whilst she is tolerated because of her family, I earned and deserved my acceptance. But I have made a promise to myself, I will not be antagonised by her whatever she does.
But the children call my attention so I must return to my duties. Do let me know how you find things in Bath.
Your dearest friend,
Lizzy
December 1811
Dear Amelia,
I do wish I could have convinced you to come to Pemberley for the festive season. We have decided in favour of a quiet Christmas, so our party would have been very intimate. But your plans for the season sound lovely. I am glad to know that Eliza continues in good health and I am warmed by your stories of her.
Evy is similarly charming and has now taken to walking with the aid of surrounding furnishing. She has yet to walk unaided, but her father is convinced it will happen any day now. Although for the time being, I think her efforts are not being helped by her aunts. I imagine it is very hard for her to find the time to walk when she is constantly being carried about. But she bears the constant outpouring of love with good grace.
Our family is forever expanding; the joys of having five daughters. As I am sure you know by now, Mary could not bear to be outdone by her sisters and can expect to be confined sometime next year. I do worry about her, she has not had an easy time of things. The situation was so bad that in a moment of weakness she sent for her mother. I do hope and pray that Mama can be encouraged to be of some help. If needed, I will send Mrs Morris to her.
As part of my work on the estate I have decided to patronise some women to study under Mrs Morris, it would be such a shame to have her knowledge go to waste when she is called to her eternal rest. The idea was so well received I am beginning to look into what more can be done.
I hope you have a wonderful Christmas with little Eliza and I look forward to seeing you both sometime next year.
Your dearest friend,
Lizzy
January 1812
Dear Amelia,
I must say I am disappointed to hear that as we intend to head down south, you and Eliza are heading north. But I do rejoice in the fact that you have found the strength to return to Durham. It is true that there is a lot you can do as the mistress of the estate and Mr Smith will, I am sure, be grateful for the support.
I must say I envy your journey to the countryside, and I could not be more grateful that I was granted a reprieve from attending the season last year. We had agreed to come to London from the start of the season that the girls might receive their full enjoyment of it. But it has only been a week and I find my patience is already spent.
We have met the same flocks of peacocks and hens, but with Fitzwilliam as my husband, I am now forcefully dragged into the world of politics. Despite my husband's aversions, it would seem we cannot be excluded. Lord Cromford desires a show of family unity and so we are to give what little support we can. Although it must be said, as things stand, the divide is as so; Lord and Lady Cromford on one side and the rest of the family on the other.
With yours, Jane's, Mary's and Lady Julia's absence I find myself drowning in a sea of nonsensical behaviour. But this will not do; I promised myself I will not write with the sole purpose of complaining.
Please write often my dear friend. I would love to hear news of your progress on the estate, such sensible topics of discussion will be a balm to my weary soul.
Your dearest friend,
Lizzy
March 1812
Dear Amelia,
Please excuse me for being such a poor correspondent during these last few months. As you can imagine time to sit have been scarce and time to write almost none existent. But I have done my duty. Miss Darcy, Miss Bennet and Miss Lydia Bennet made their curtsy before the Queen and despite my fears for my sanity, we have all gotten through such a momentous occasion.
My parents came to London for the occasion, and Mama's nerves held up just long enough for said curtsy. But she has now been whisked away to Hertfordshire to recuperate and to be the envy of all her neighbours for having laid eyes on members of the first circle.
The girls have many suitors who have come calling; Georgiana's fifty thousand pounds ensures that she will always have suitors. Together, we have been able to settle fifteen thousand pounds on Kitty and Lydia and so with their connections, they can expect to receive less ambitious suitors. But we are in no hurry to see them disposed of in marriage, regardless of what Mama says.
But Mama is not the only one who is determined that the girls make a match this season. Lord Cromford has taken it upon himself to promote those whom he feels will be good matches for all the girls. As expected, each match advances his political aspiration in one way or another. Of all the suitors, he is most insistent about Lord Potters, the Earl of Hykeham's heir. With the way he encourages a match between Lord Potters and Georgiana, one would think Georgiana is his ward. But Fitzwilliam has been firm, none of the girls are expected to make a match in their first season; if they do not wish to do so. In fact, we have been most insistent that they wait and enjoy the season in full. In any case, Georgiana is unimpressed by Lord Potters so it is unlikely that a match would be made this or any other season.
My dear friend, I now have some news to share and to be quite frank I do not know how to feel about the matter. I suspect I am with child again. My courses have not followed their usual pattern of punctuality since having Evy and so I cannot say with absolute authority that my suspicions are true. And after my last experience, I cannot say with absolute conviction that I want them to be true. Of course, I would want more children. But after Evelina's birth, I was looking forward to some respite. I tentatively share this news with you, my dear, because I know your affectionate heart will not be saddened by such news, and you are better able to understand why I am not as jubilant as perhaps I should be. But I commend myself to the Lord, let His will be done.
I cannot believe it is nearly the first anniversary of Evy's birth! Where has all the time gone?
I have appreciated hearing news of all your adventures in Durham, give my love to little Eliza.
Your dearest friend,
Lizzy
April 1812
Dear Amelia,
So much has happened in the space of a month I can barely take the time to catch my breath. I am so saddened to report that Mary has suffered a loss. Oh, my heart weeps with her. I would go to her in a heartbeat but she has requested that we all stay away. If I were not absolutely sure of Simeon's support, I would ignore her request and rush to enfold her in my warm embrace. But truly what comfort could I give. I have been given the assurance that my child lives within me and so I fear that in the face of her grief she would despise me.
Oh how I wish I could retract my last letter, I fear such despicable thoughts will linger and haunt me. We had a few precious moments of joy when I informed Fitzwilliam of my suspicions before the fabric of our family became unravelled.
As if Mary's sorrow was not enough, Lady Cromford has been disgraced; she insulted another hostess in her own home. But unlike myself, Lady Burnhurst was less forgiving and her aunt is a Patron of Almark. Within the week, Lady Cromford was publicly cut thrice, and I am afraid she did not handle the matter with dignity. So, she is disgraced and our family is thrown into scandal along with her.
I have been so weighed down by it all, that I must confess I long to return to Pemberley. But to leave now would fan the flames of this scandal and completely ruin the season for the girls. Lord Cromford did not see the wisdom in our determination to weather the storm; he has sent his wife to the countryside. Apparently, she is also with child and he claims the country air would suit her better. But it is clear to all and sundry that Lady Cromford has been exiled.
Do pray along with me my dear, I am trying to remember some of my own philosophy but I find it harder to do so in such turbulent times.
Your dearest friend,
Lizzy
June 1812
Dear Amelia,
I hope this letter comes in time for little Eliza's birthday, I have attached a small parcel that I hope will bring her endless delight. Thank you for your prayers and words of comfort, they have been invaluable. Things with me are progressing nicely and so I am better able to hold onto my philosophy. By my calculations, I have a few months left until my confinement and so we have finally left London. I am surprised that Lord Cromford was able to convince Fitzwilliam to stay in London for as long as we have stayed. But in the comfort of my own rooms, I find I can forgive anything.
We have had another month of drastic changes that I can scarcely believe it. Lydia is to be married! We were all taken by surprise when she brazenly announced that Captain Lawson had gone to seek Papa's permission. Of course, we all knew of Captain Lawson's interest, but no one imagined anything would come of it. He is so serious, and we all thought Lydia enjoyed the season too much to give it up so soon.
But she is determined, and with Mama's unwavering support the wedding will go ahead as planned. However, I fear we do not know the Captain enough to determine anything except that he is proud and aloof in the company of others. But then my husband reminds me that he is often described as such, and that is not indicative of his skills as a husband. Which I must admit is perfectly true; except that Captain Lawson has made no effort to get to know us, and we know nothing about him.
Lord Cromford made the introduction, and I fear that might have prejudiced me against the gentleman. But he is from a respectable family, he is Lord Brixton's youngest son. Lord Brixton is a member of the Privy Council, so one would have expected his son to make a more advantageous marriage. But the gentleman is determined, and to my surprise, there has not been too much opposition from His Lordship. Since the Captain is financially independent; he has enough money to retire and support a family without relying on the goodwill of others, so we have no cause for complaints.
Still, I cannot rid myself of the feeling that we should err on the side of caution where the Captain is concerned. I know of no evil to accuse him of, his manners are just fine, but still, I worry. Fitzwilliam has suggested that I am weighing Lydia's past poor choices against her current choice and perhaps he is right. I have been asked, by those I hold dear, to set aside my apprehensions and I will endeavour to do so.
In other news, I am pleased to report we will shortly be welcoming the Barkers to Pemberley; I long to see Mary again. She has agreed to stay with us at Pemberley until the end of my confinement. I did worry that staying with us would be a painful reminder of all that she lost. But like you, she has an affectionate heart and has assured me that she will be nothing but happy to be an aunt once again.
I doubt I will be the best correspondent for some time, so please be assured of my love.
Your dearest friend,
Lizzy
August 1812
Dear Amelia,
Rejoice with me my dear friend for I have born a son for the most deserving of men. William James Darcy was born on the 7th and I could not be happier. All my fears of tomorrow's pain were proven to be ill-founded. In fact, I had such a smooth experience I am now convinced that bearing daughters must be the issue. I think perhaps they are determined to vex their mothers from the very beginning.
Little James, as we have taken to calling him, is such a precious little angel. He was born about midday, in the right position and Mrs Morris barely lifted a finger. He has sweet blonde curls all over his head, which were a shock to everyone, and with his blue eyes, he favours his aunts more than his mother and father.
Philip is ecstatic to have a brother. But he has not yet replaced his sister in his affection. Hand in hand they came to admire their new brother and Philip's interest and joy spurred on hers. They were both so sweet and gentle with their new brother I am convinced that they will all be the best of friends.
I am glad that we shall soon receive you at Pemberley, and if all things go according to plan I should be churched in September. I long to see you and dear Eliza; I imagine she will be a wonderful playmate for Evy.
Your dearest friend,
Lizzy
October 1812
Dear Amelia,
I am happy to receive word of your safe return, and I am pleased that there is no sign of Lord Durham at Durham. Please cast him from your mind, his actions are his own. You have a beautiful healthy girl and she is all that matters. I am sorry we had to say goodbye, your presence will be greatly missed. Evy asks for her friend daily, and despite the tears they shared I do believe a real bond has been formed between our two daughters
We all continue in good health and once again the preparations for the season have begun. Since we decided against fostering James out to a family on the estate, we will all be making our way to London. I question the wisdom in doing this, but I could not bare to be separated from either my husband or my children. We had hoped Lady Matlock would accompany the girls for the season, and so we would not have to, but she has taken ill and it is not clear if she will be attending the season at all.
The preparations you witnessed for Lydia's wedding has come to a head and I can say at this very second she is content. But the volatility of her emotions have been well established and so I will not hold my breath that her state of contentment will last. We will soon begin our exodus to the south, we had hoped to conclude matters on the estate so that there would be no need to return to Pemberley after the wedding. But Fitzwilliam has given me no guarantees and we will most likely be embarking on a journey that will tear my nerves to shreds.
I fear for my patience during such times as these, so I will greatly rely upon your words to calm me.
Your dearest friend,
Lizzy
London 1813
The wind swirled around her yet again, so her frozen fingers reached for her cap as she drew her skirt to herself. Like a broom, the icy winds had cleared the streets of those who had no business being out in the cold. But despite the chill that had settled into her bones, she still had business here.
The sun had yet to make way for the night, so she would remain as she was. She looked up at the sound of a horse and carriage approaching and released her skirts as the wind died down. As the carriage drew nearer she held her breath hoping that it would stop, but she was also hoping that it would not stop. It did not, and her warm breath swirled before her before disappearing into the cold.
She looked up at the house in question and sighed. Despite the cold, she had been coming to stand before this house for a week now. In appearance, it was of no consequence. It was a grand house, on a respectable street, with no distinguishing features. But despite its years of respectability, the new occupants of the house had forced it to relinquish its respectability.
The mistress of the house was not a respectable woman. This was not a measure of her individual character, but rather society's indiscriminate judgment. After all, women of ill repute can never be respectable.
Her interest was kindled as the room closest to her view received some activity; the candles were being lit and soon the curtains would be drawn. She brought her aching fingers to her lips and tried to breathe life into them. But as the closed curtains signalled the passing of the day, she knew she would have to return soon, and once again she had nothing to report.
Her mission was simple, observe the house and report. But despite the simple nature of her task, she always hoped that there would always be nothing to report. She knew it was foolish to hope, she knew enough of her mistress's instinct to know that her hopes were in vain. In the years she had worked with her mistress, she had grown to respect her mistress's instinct.
As if her mistress needed the vindication, a grand carriage drawn by a team of elegant horses arrived on the street in a leisurely manner. She laid her cold fingers against her lips and once again held her breath in the hopes that the carriage would not stop. When it did, she held hopes that the gentleman who alighted would bear no resemblance to the man she was tasked to observe. As the tall gentleman in the tall hat walked up towards the door, she continued to hope that he would not turn towards her; that his identity would remain unconfirmed.
But he did, and all hope was lost.
As she gathered herself to return to the carriage that had been made available for her use, she had to wonder if there was such a thing as a decent man. If even gentlemen could not be trusted to do what was right; if they could not be counted to be faithful and honest, what hope did common folk have. It was naïve of her, she knew this. But as she entered into the inconspicuous carriage, she allowed herself to feel the pain she knew her mistress would deny herself as she told the driver to return to Darcy House.
P.S. I would not like to spoil this story for you, so I will ask that you trust me. Mr Darcy means as much to me as he does to you all, and although I am taking these beloved characters down this road, I will keep WWJD (What would Jane Do), at the back of my mind as I write. I hope this is enough to earn your trust, and I hope you enjoy this story. Please review and comment.