Author's Note: Just a stupid idea everyone, nothing serious. The little plot bunny just would not leave me alone!

I do not own Transformers.

It was the little things that Knock Out noticed at first. After all, he was a medic, and it was his job to take notice of certain things. While many might not think it, he was a very observant mech. He had to be if he wanted to be good at his job. First, it had started off with him noticing wounds, most of them lethal, and sometimes his observations saved lives.

But at times, his observations would give him pause. Over time, he had learned to ignore that pause and push past it, especially if it was in a life or death situation. But other times, like now, he would back track and go over the little things that had led him to this thought.

And he had a good reason for being cautious, for the subject of his thoughts was none other than Soundwave.

It was the simple stuff, like being an avid reader, or appreciation for art that had caught Knock Out's attention. But such activities could be explained by anything. Soundwave was well educated and had an interest in culture, which the later surprised Knock Out.

There were also other things that had led him up to this important conclusion, theories that were solid enough to prove a point.

"Yes Soundwave," he sighed, glancing up at the masked Cybertronian who had handed him the data pad. "I understand. Lord Megatron need not worry about this getting done at the appropriate time."

The spy master nodded before leaving, his strides unhurried. Knock Out raised an optic ridge, watching him very curiously just as Starscream entered the room.

"Starscream," he said suddenly, unsure with what he was about to say. But he had to tell someone of his theories, or this information just might burst in the worst possible of ways. "You might think I am a little odd. But I think Soundwave is…" He paused, glancing around as if the spy master would show up at any moment. "A femme," he finished, almost in a whisper.

Breakdown snorted from behind him where he was sorting with the tools. As his partner, the blue Decepticon was no stranger to Knock Out's theories. But still, this one caught even him by surprise.

Starscream seemed at a loss for words. "A femme?" he managed. "Knock Out, are you blind?"

"Quite the opposite in fact," Knock Out said quickly. "Soundwave is a femme, I am sure of it!"

Starscream looked as if he was uncertain with what to do, wondering if he should stay and entertain the doctor, or leave and avoid the helm ache. He opted for the first, which he wondered if he would regret. "And do tell, why you think our spy master is a femme," he said, leaning against the wall with a cocked optic ridge.

"It's the subtle things," Knock Out started with a glare. "And don't think I don't know that you aren't taking me seriously. First off, it's Soundwave's mannerisms."

"Mannerisms?" Breakdown asked suddenly, looking up from what he was doing. "If you are talking about the whole human explanation about girls being able to withstand higher temperatures than a male, then I don't see how you figured that one out. Soundwave never really leaves the Nemesis and the heat and cold don't really bother us."

Knock Out scowled at his partner. "Of course not. I'm talking about the subtle things."

Starscream once more raised an optic ridge. "Like how mechs fail to ask for directions?" he asked, the corners of his mouth twitching.

Knock Out huffed, growing flustered with the fact that no one was taking him seriously. "Of course not, I'm more thorough then that. It is in the way Soundwave acts and speaks."

Starscream frowned. "Soundwave never speaks."

Knock Out pointed at the seeker. "Exactly! Soundwave never speaks! No matter what, Soundwave always uses a voice recording and we never hear the real thing. As far as I know, Soundwave's voice box is not damaged."

Starscream shrugged. "Maybe he does it for more personal reasons. Vow of silence, maybe?"

"Like Snake Eyes from GiJoe?" Breakdown asked suddenly. "You gotta admit, those two have a lot in common. They're both silent masters and have a very mysterious past and are excellent fighters."

Starscream snorted. "The day when Soundwave meets a pretty red femme, you let me know. I'd like to see how it all plays out. As if he could get anyone."

"Well, according to Knock Out here," Breakdown said with a smirk. "It won't be a femme at all, but a handsome mech for our 'female' spy-master."

"Getting off topic here," Knock Out sighed. "Look, I doubt it is for personal reasons, as Soundwave is not one to limit themselves of something so useful. I mean, if Soundwave would speak, things could get done a bit quicker."

"Soundwave could just refuse to speak because of, again, personal reasons!" Starscream exclaimed. "After all, he lost all his minicons during the war except Lazerbeak! And you haven't been the only medic to have treated us on this warship. Maybe you just didn't notice that he had a damaged voice box."

"Which brings me to my next argument," Knock Out said, holding up a datapad. "I have pulled up all of Soundwave's medical records and there is no record of a damaged voice box! Soundwave can clearly speak!"

"He could be mute," Breakdown offered.

Knock Out sniffed. "Of course not. As I said before, there is no record of any damaged voice box. The records would stat any birth defect otherwise."

"So he doesn't speak," Starscream snapped. "That doesn't prove anything."

"We have never seen Soundwave take off that mask," Knock Out said. "No one has seen their face."

"I can give you a list of reasons as to why Soundwave wears a mask," Starscream growled in annoyance. "One: Soundwave is hideously scarred and wants to spare us all from looking at such a gross sight. Two: it could protect his identity should he need to go undercover for Lord Megatron. Three: That's not a mask at all and really is his face. And four," here, he glared at Knock Out. "He is trying to avoid pesky medics like you."

"Or he is just devilishly handsome and needs to hide his looks," Breakdown commented.

"Would you stop that!" Knock Out exclaimed. "All arguments are reasonable. All easily proven false. Your first statement once again has a hole in it, as there has still been no record of any damage to Soundwave's face. Your second statement is also false as Soundwave is the surveillance chief and not a spy. He has not been trained in that department and is a well known figure to both the Autobots and Decepticons. Your third argument is horribly wrong, as it is clearly a visor since Lord Megatron himself said so. Plus, it clearly comes off as I have seen the areas where it can come on and off with ease. Your last reason," he glared at Starscream. "Is also horribly flawed. And you," he whirled at Breakdown with a glare. "No self respecting mech would dare cover their face just to avoid gorgeous femmes!"

Breakdown frowned. "It was a reasonable explanation."

Starscream blinked. "How did you get close enough to see Soundwave's visor?"

"I'm a medic," Knock Out answered with a huff. "I'm supposed to get close to my patients when tending to them."

Starscream blinked. "Alright, doctor," he sneered. "Here is my argument to your most ridiculous theory. Soundwave is clearly a mech for the most obvious of reasons. He was a gladiator of Kaon and a femme in the gladiator pits would not have survived for obvious reasons. Kaon is a cruel place and a femme would most certainly be taken advantage of in the most cruelest of ways."

"Which is why Soundwave wears the mask," Knock Out quipped.

"Which brings me to my next statement," Starscream said. "Soundwave's slave master would have most certainly noticed and have removed the mask if Soundwave insisted on wearing it all the time. Hence, the big reveal of Soundwave being a femme and a quick, unpleasant death." Starscream folded his arms. "If Soundwave was a femme, she would have been killed or taken for less than pleasant uses."

"Gladiators also need to make a name for themselves," Knock Out said. "It's what brings in the crowds. The 'Faceless Gladiator' would surely draw in Cybertronians. Plus, we do not know much about Soundwave's past, aside from the time they spent with Megatron."

Starscream scoffed. "Megatron would never keep something like that a secret."

Knock Out raised an optic ridge. "Maybe he's always known."

Starscream gaped, his optics blinking rapidly at what Knock Out was suggesting. "I am done with this conversation," he huffed, turning on his heel and stomping away.

"Don't you want to hear what else I've found and how I can prove you wrong?" Knock Out shouted, racing after the seeker. Breakdown sighed for a moment, looking around the empty room before following his partner. He had to admit, he was curious where this conversation would go.

"No, I do not," he heard Starscream snap. "I will not partake in any of your ridiculous games. Soundwave is a mech, plain and simple. He is not another femme for you to flirt with!"

"The flirting is besides the point," Knock Out said. "There are a level of reasons that I can also present, such as the aggressiveness towards other femmes."

Starscream came to a stop. "Aggressiveness? Try to remember, doctor, that we are in the middle of a war! If a femme is going to rush at Soundwave with the intent of killing him, he's not just going to sit down and have a cup of tea with her! 'Oh! Hello, let's put everything on hold and have some girl bonding moments why don't we?'" He scowled. "Your reasoning is so flawed, it's pathetic."

"There is also Airachnid," Knock Out pointed out. "Soundwave's been aggressive towards her and she's not an Autobot."

"Because he doesn't trust her!" Starscream exclaimed. "Just like everyone on this bloody warship. Even I don't trust her and yet you're not accusing me of being a femme."

"We will come back to that later," Knock Out said simply, causing Starscream to sputter. "Then there are the heels."

"I have heels," Starscream said, self consciously glancing down at his own pointed pedes, his mind still stuck on Knock Out's accusation.

"Yes, but you don't sit like a femme," Knock Out stated.

Breakdown frowned. "Sit like a femme?" he repeated.

Knock Out nodded. "There are different ways mechs and femmes sit. A femme will sit with her legs together, whether it is proper or just instinct, I have no idea. But Soundwave always sits with their knees together." He waved a servo. "Then there is also the way Soundwave handles things with such a delicate manner. Not to mention the motherly attitude toward Lazerbeak."

Starscream blinked. "You've been watching Soundwave and how he sits?"

Knock Out sputtered. "Well, not until I was certain of what I was thinking. But yes, yes I did."

Starscream groaned. "I cannot believe we are discussing this."

"Please note that Soundwave does not throw a tantrum like some Cybertronians when angered or upset," here, Knock Out glared at Starscream. "But instead, goes to analyze and fix the problem that has been presented."

"Mechs do that too," Starscream argued. "I can guarantee you that Optimus does the same thing, yet you are not accusing him of being a femme. Yet," he muttered.

"Furthermore, if Soundwave is upset with you, you will simply be ignored as Soundwave never gets into petty squabbles," Knock Out said.

"It's called the silent treatment," Starscream grumbled. "Maybe you've heard of it? At this point, I am beginning to think you are running out of valid arguments." He frowned. "This isn't so that you can try and flirt with another femme just because Airachnid has no interest in you, is it?"

Knock Out scoffed. "Of course not. Though I do think, when confronted, that Soundwave will be most grateful that I have kept her secret."

Starscream gaped. "Her- his secret!? You just told two mechs that you think she-he's a femme! How is that keeping a secret?"

"Well you obviously don't believe me," Knock Out stated.

"And when I find Soundwave being overly affectionate towards you, I'll know what's going on," Starscream grumbled. "I can honestly say that if Soundwave is a femme, that she would have expressed interest in you by now if she felt any attraction, as Soundwave seems to be the type that knows how to get what they want."

Knock Out shrugged. "Oh she'll be attracted all right. She's just taking her time, afraid of the secret getting blown up."

Starscream paused. "This would be interesting if it were true. I wonder what outcome such a revelation would have."

"Blackmail and all that," Knock Out answered. He smirked. "Thank you for having absolute faith in me."

Starscream sputtered. "I'm not admitting that Soundwave's is a femme! I'm just thinking about what would happen if he was! However, if you are so sure, why not go and ask Soundwave yourself?"

Knock Out gaped. "Go up and ask Soundwave? First of all, what makes you think Soundwave won't lie? And second of all, I'm not just going to walk right up and ask in front of everyone if Soundwave's a femme! You go ask."

"I'm not going to ask him!" Starscream said. "You're the one who thinks he's a femme!"

"And you're the one who suggested asking him."

"My reputation is on the line!"

"So is mine!"

"That's it!" Breakdown exclaimed suddenly, storming past the two mechs and up the bridge where the masked Cybertronian was. Starscream and Knock Out could only stare in complete shock and growing horror as the blue Decepticon determinedly walked right up to Soundwave.

"Hey Soundwave," Breakdown said, causing the spy master to turn to face the former Wrecker. "So I have one question," he started. "Are you a femme?"

There was a complete and utter silence as all optics were fixed on the two Cybertronians. One could have sworn that Megatron choked. It was plain and simple to see the shock and confusion in Soundwave's body language. Breakdown, however, looked unfazed as he stared the masked Cybertronian down.

"Breakdown," Megatron started, recovering from his shock. He paused, as if debating with himself whether or not to ask. Curiosity won over. "What brought this on?"

Breakdown shrugged. "Just the subtle signs." Knock Out tried to shrink into the shadows at that comment. "Such as the way Soundwave sits, the heels, the mask, the lack of voice and history, missing medical records and all that junk." Breakdown's optics flickered to Airachnid. "Aggressiveness towards other femmes."

Airachnid blanched at that statement.

"So you have to wonder," Breakdown finished, leaning in to glare at Soundwave, who had yet to move.

"Breakdown," Megatron said, his tone eerily calm, his fists clenching. "I can assure you that Soundwave is the gender that he appears to be."

Breakdown frowned. "Alright. Just wondering." He nodded to Soundwave. "Good day." With that, he strode out of the room, shooting Starscream and Knock Out a smirk.

"You might want to examine his helm," Starscream muttered, watching Breakdown leave. Knock Out could only nod numbly.

Soundwave relished the silence. It allowed work to get done and prevented any distractions.

Silence brought in results.

Such was the situation Soundwave and Lazerbeak found themselves in. The Nemesis was quiet, save for a few troopers and Megatron still on the bridge. But, Soundwave was ready to call it a night.

The walk to Soundwave's berth room was not far at all. The dim halls cast shadows and a certain heaviness around the place. Soundwave stayed alert for a certain spider-bot that may or may not be lurking around the corners of the halls. One could never be too careful. The past life in the pits of Kaon had always left Soundwave alert and watchful. The scars Soundwave had were proof enough of that.

The door slid shut right behind Soundwave, ensuring privacy and safety from prying optics. Lazerbeak detached himself from Soundwave's chassis, fluttering around with a tired chirp before settling down on the large berth.

Soundwave let out a tired sigh as well, the first sound that had escaped the Cybertronian all day. Reaching up, Soundwave slowly removed the visor that covered their face. Narrowed red optics observed the room around as Soundwave placed the visor and the rest of the helmet down on a nearby stand, her long fingers trailing against the mask.

Lazerbeak let out a chirp as Soundwave slid into the berth right next to the minicon. Soundwave smiled, running her servo up and down Laserbeak, her beloved minicon snuggling up next to her side.

"Mechs," she sighed in annoyance with a small roll of her optics, her thin mouth twisting into a scowl. While Breakdown's sudden accusation was disturbing, she was not worried in the slightest. The mech did not seem too serious about the question and he most likely did it because of a dare. However unprofessional it was, that explanation seemed the most likely, at least she hoped so. Maybe she would have to go over the security feeds just to be sure. But she was not worried.

Not worried at all.