It didn't take Sasuke long to decide that the future was a dark, horrible place.

Ever since that awful night, Sasuke had two goals at the forefront of his mind: the avenging of his clan (Itachi would die), and the revival of his clan.

He'd graduated from the academy, made genin, and was fast on his way to achieving these goals. In Sasuke's mind, his perfect vision of the future included birds defecating on his brother's corpse, and a sea of little Sharingan-eyed children (his future spouse was always absent from this image).

Then, he'd landed in the supposed future, and realised that, somewhere along the line, it had all gone to shit.

Horrible fact number 1: Naruto was the Hokage. Someone had thought it was a good idea to make the dobe the leader of their village.

Horrible fact number 2: He was married to a fangirl. Sure, Sakura seemed far more competent and mentally-stable in this timeline, but that didn't change the fact that she was a fangirl.

Horrible fact number 3: There was a Naruto clone in the future. Enough said.

Horrible fact number 4: Itachi had apparently been ordered to kill their clan. Sasuke had found out about this after he'd demanded to know if he'd killed his brother, and Naruto's clone (who wouldn't leave, for some reason) had cut in with a, "but I thought your brother was ordered to kill your clan? That's what everyone says, anyway. So why'd you want to kill him?"

(Sasuke had been pretty sure the kid was crazy, and had been really close to causing some actual physical harm, when Sakura had confirmed the story. Sasuke still wasn't convinced, but it was yet another thing to add to the growing list of reasons he hated this supposed future).

Horrible fact number 5: There was apparently one girl who wasn't his fangirl at the academy, and he'd somehow never noticed. And then she'd married the dobe.

These were all downright terrible things, which proved that the future was a dark, awful place he'd never want to live in. But out of everything, there was one development that was worse than all the rest.

He only had ONE child.

All Sasuke could do was sit, staring blankly at the wall, and think, "my clan…need to revive my clan…why haven't I…what?"

Sakura and Sarada were shooting him exasperated glances, and Naruto's clone (Boruto, or something like that), had thankfully left. Sasuke ignored them, too busy mourning the fact that he'd apparently failed to achieve his only two goals in life.

"Mama, was Papa always this weird?" Sarada whispered.

"Yes," Sakura replied. "I never really noticed it before, but…yes."

Sasuke turned to them. "I'm coming back right?" At their confused look, he elaborated. "My older self. He's coming back?"

Sakura nodded. "Of course he is."

"Maybe," Sarada amended, and Sasuke's eye twitched. So his older self wasn't even here. Not that he blamed him, since the thought of living with a fangirl was horrific, but…what about the clan? How was he supposed to rebuild his clan, if he was off god-knows-where, and his wife was here?

Wait a minute…

"Are you sure I don't have other kids?"

Sarada sighed. "I'm sure I'd know if you and Mama had other kids."

Sasuke shook his head distractedly. "No, not your mom — surely there are other women I might have — "

It doesn't occur to Sasuke that this was probably a very bad thing to say in front of his future wife and daughter, until Sarada was slamming her fist down on his head. Hard.

Sasuke, who, unlike Naruto, had no experience in this area, clutched his head in agony.

Sakura watched them, shaking her head in exasperation.

...

Sasuke decided that there was no way this could be the future because a) Itachi was a psychopath who had killed the clan because he wanted to, b) He would never marry a fangirl, c) why wasn't his clan revived yet?!, and d) Any world with Naruto as Hokage was not one he wanted to live in.

He decided that this left him with three alternative reasons for his current situation:

1. It was all just a horrible dream

2. Itachi had somehow made his way back into the village, and was screwing with his mind again

3. This was the future, but Itachi had actually killed him, and was pretending to be him (…for whatever reason). Sarada was actually his daughter, and Itachi was further fucking with him and their clan by only having one child, and introducing pink-haired genes into their family.

The last one seemed pretty unlikely, but…well. It made more sense than the alternative.

Still, when Naruto finally showed up, ready to send him back to his own time (and if the fact that the dobe was actually competent in the future wasn't a sign that something was wrong, Sasuke didn't know what was), Sasuke decided that it was better to be on the safe side. Because what if this was the future? What if, for whatever reason, he'd lost his mind, and this poor excuse for clan-revival was the result?

So he turned to Sarada, looked her straight in the eye, and said, "Could you do two things for me?"

Sarada nodded slowly, looking a mixture of suspicious and confused.

Sasuke nodded, pleased. "Alright then — firstly, make sure you pass on the Uchiha last name to all of your children. And secondly…make sure you have a lot of children. I know that this may be more unpleasant for you than it is for me, but you need to think of the clan — "

And that's all Sasuke managed to get out before Sarada knocked him out.

Sakura and Naruto stared at Sasuke's prone body with wide eyes, and Sarada's eyes flashed dangerously.

"Mama," she hissed, "you never told me Papa was such an idiot."

"He was just very...determined," Sakura said, her voice strained.

Naruto rubbed the back of his neck, his brow furrowed. "So…should we wait until he wakes up, or…?"

"No," Sakura said flatly.

...

Sasuke woke up back in his own time, with his head throbbing, and visions of that terrible future still vivid in his mind.

He stood up, clenched his fists, and decided that yes — it was all a nightmare. Not that he wouldn't be training extra hard to achieve his goals. Itachi would die. The clan would be revived.

There was no way that was his future.