A/N: Hi guys! I haven't really ever written for Naruto before, but I've had this idea rolling around in my head for a while, and I decided I might as well write it. This is going to be a one-shot, because I am a busy person, and if I wrote an actual story I would never get around to finishing it. Anyways, Naruto isn't mine, and never will be, so don't sue me. Enjoy.

EDIT (6/6/17): Fixed some formatting errors!

EDIT (10/18/17): Fixed some grammar errors and added a few small changes.

The Cat Came Back

As far as summoners went, Hyouko figured she had gotten rather lucky. She was not called upon often, so that left her to do as she wished the majority of the time. She was also pleased with the fact that every single time Uchiha Mikoto summoned her, she was bribed with a small piece of meat. Mikoto was also quite good at finding the perfect spot to scratch behind her ears. Being a good ear-scratcher was a very important trait to have in a summoner.

However, now that Mikoto was retired, Hyouko found herself being summoned less and less as time went on. Sure, she missed the small pieces of spiced meat the Uchiha woman would give her, but she in no way missed guarding her stuck up kittens. Well, the second one at least. She didn't mind Itachi as much. Itachi was quiet. Hyouko had also appreciated that Itachi was smart enough to figure out that tails were not for pulling. Sasuke, on the other hand, didn't understand that whiskers and tails were not toys for human kittens. And he was loud. Very loud. Every time Itachi or his mother left the brat's side, Sasuke would screech like the world was ending. Hyouko had always loved her keen sense of hearing, until she was left for hours with a screaming baby. Mikoto still owed her extra tuna for that particular injustice.

Oh, how Hyouko missed the days of being summoned in battle. She had fond memories of her days on the battlefield with Mikoto. She had found it hard to imagine that she, one of the best fighters in the Panther clan, had been demoted to a babysitter. Hyouko would never understand why Mikoto had wanted to have more than one child. Humans were a strange species. If Mikoto had any more, Hyouko would simply refuse to watch over them. (At least not until they were older.) Sasuke had provided more than enough screaming baby for more than one lifetime.

Hyouko was grateful for the fact that the boy was now old enough to have some amount of common sense. On the other hand, he had an annoyingly large brother complex that did not seem to be going away anytime soon. Anything that came out of Sasuke's mouth these days was always about how cool Itachi was. She wondered when Mikoto would summon her again. It had been a while since the last time, she mused. For now, though, Hyouko had the day off, and she figured that sunny rock would be the perfect place for a nap.

Old Mister Johnson had troubles of his own
He had a yellow cat that wouldn't leave his home;
He tried and he tried to give the cat away,
He gave it to a man goin' far, far away.

The next time she was summoned, she had returned to her homeland far sooner than she had expected. She arrived to find Mikoto looking out the window with an unreadable expression. Something wasn't right. Hyouko could almost feel the tension in the air, thick enough to cut with a knife. However, it was not her place to question her summoner. So, she sat and awaited her orders. (And her tuna.)

"Hyouko, I fear I will not be in this world much longer," said Mikoto, turning to look at her summon. "Please take care of my boys for me."

Hyouko didn't know what she had expected when she was summoned, but she certainly knew that she hadn't expected that. Mikoto looked healthy, Hyouko did not understand why Mikoto thought she would die soon. Perhaps she had been assigned a suicide mission? Hyouko quickly dismissed this as a possibility, the woman was retired. Besides, suicide missions were an ANBU responsibility. But before Hyouko could come up with more theories as to why her summoner feared death, her train of thought was cut off by the sound of the door sliding open. Fugaku was home. Hyouko quickly glanced out the window, it was dark outside. Fugaku didn't normally have clan meetings this late. Something was wrong.

Both Mikoto and Fugaku sat down, and Fugaku closed his eyes with a sigh.

"Itachi was a spy."

A spy? A spy for what? Was he put on an infiltration mission? How odd. Itachi was normally slotted for assassination.

Mikoto gave him a small, strained smile. "I know."

She had arrived to the human realm in a "poof", and just a few minutes later, she had left the same way. She wouldn't be summoned again for nine years.

But the cat came back the very next day,
The cat came back, we thought he was a goner
But the cat came back; it just wouldn't stay away.

The next time she was summoned, Hyouko found herself face to face not with Mikoto, but with her oldest kitten. She was not stupid enough to ignore the gossip that had gone around the summons' realm. Some of the ninneko had said Itachi had killed off his entire clan aside from his younger littermate. She didn't understand why he did it, but the panther frankly didn't care as long as he still bribed her for her services. She also didn't understand why he waited nearly nine years to call upon her, but humans were strange creatures that she would never be able to understand. With a quick glance around at her surroundings, she observed his rather large (and blue) traveling companion. He smelled like fish. Itachi had really gone out of his way to get her a large bribe.

"I finally understand why you waited until now to call upon me, Itachi, but I am pleased your mother at least taught you to prepare proper compensation before you killed her," she said, glancing over at the giant blue man-fish who was looking extremely uncomfortable. "However, I thought I had taught you the proper way to assert your dominance. You kill the alpha, not the entire pride."

Itachi was not amused. He had summoned the panther because his crows were not very good for tracking. As his current mission was to track down a wandering jinchuuriki, Hyouko's keen sense of smell and hearing would be a great help. Itachi had another additional request to make to the cat summon, as he knew the time for his battle with Sasuke was drawing closer and closer. If he himself could not be there to watch over his foolish little brother, he would have to ensure somebody would. Itachi found himself growing more and more annoyed as the cat continued rambling on about how he was doing everything wrong, and it didn't help that Kisame looked to be struggling to hold in his snickers.

"Hyouko."

"And I still can't believe that even though you did it all wrong, you left your littermate alone. By that logic, why not leave all the kittens? You silly human, if you really wanted to impress females, you need to do it properly and-"

"Hyouko," he said in an attempt to get her to stop her blabbering.

"Besides, if you wanted to be the alpha you need to stay near any competitors to ensure your continued dominance and -"

"HYOUKO," Itachi yelled, finally getting her to stop.

"What?" she replied, a bit annoyed that Itachi had interrupted her speech on proper behavior.

"I need you to track someone for me. My crows do not have the sense of smell or hearing that you have," Itachi stated. This caused Hyouko to release a rather large snort of amusement. Hyouko couldn't believe him. He had the audacity to tell her that he used birds when he had the option of summoning panthers? No wonder he had prepared such a large bribe. He left her for nine years and used goddamn BIRDS instead of her.

Hyouko figured she might as well hurry up and take her compensation. Kisame was rather surprised when the big cat pounced on him, and quickly wasn't in a laughing mood anymore.

"Itachi, get your demon cat off of me!" he hissed at his partner, who looked rather unaffected by the whole situation.

"Normally the meat is not this feisty. Next time I want an entire tuna, as now I can no longer mooch off your mother," Hyouko replied, batting at Samehada as Kisame kept trying to whack her with it.

Itachi sighed and rubbed his forehead as a headache started to form. This was going to be a long trip.

Now the man around the corner swore he'd kill the cat on sight,
He loaded up his shotgun with nails and dynamite,
He waited and he waited for the cat to come around,
Ninety-seven pieces of the man is all they found.

She takes back what she said about her ending up with a good summoner. If they all kept dying, she might as well retire and be lazy for the rest of eternity. But alas, she had gotten passed on yet again. This time, it was Mikoto's smaller kitten. He was still just as annoying though. He went from a child who babbled too much, to a man of few words. (And small bribes, stingy bastard.) Despite that, he had at least quieted down to the point where her ears didn't want to bleed every time he opened his mouth.

Sasuke wasn't the worst of summoners she'd had. His choice of company, on the other hand, was questionable. The loud one and the wet one were insufferable. Suigetsu found it absolutely hilarious to try to soak Hyouko at every opportunity. Karin, acted like one of those insufferable dogs when they were in heat. She was rubbing all over Sasuke and just would not shut her mouth about how great he was. Hyouko swore it was almost as bad as when Sasuke had his Itachi-worshipping phase. (Not that his current state of edginess was any better.) To make things worse, they argued. Frequently. During these spats, the loud one would screech like a banshee while the wet one would cackle and taunt the loud one, proceeding to make her angrier. Personally, Hyouko thought the two should just go screw each other so that these spats among the lower ranks of Sasuke's new pride would cease. The third member of Sasuke's entourage was much more tolerable. Juugo, the big one, was quiet and respectful. He was also a good ear-scratcher. And chin-scratcher.

Hyouko was not pleased to find out that Sasuke had abandoned his first pride for those two cretins. (And Juugo.) Surely his original pride was of much higher quality?

They weren't. One of them summoned dogs. The one that looked like an old man summoned not just one dog, but eight filthy, shit-eating mutts. Did she already mention how much she despises dogs? The second one, the fishcake boy, summoned her a snack. She preferred fish to toads, but she appreciated the thought anyways.

The pink-furred female seemed to be the only sensible one in Sasuke's previous pride. Quiet with a temper. Hyouko liked that. The pink one would make a good panther. Perhaps she should encourage Sasuke to take that one as a mate. (If the loud one ended up as Sasuke's mate, Hyouko would break the contract faster than one could say "meow".)

But the cat came back the very next day,
The cat came back, we thought he was a goner
But the cat came back; it just wouldn't stay away.

"Take this off my hands for me," said Sasuke, taking out a scroll from his bag and tossing it at his daughter.

"A summoning contract?" Sarada was confused, as she had specifically told her father that she did not want to take his snake contract. Snakes were creepy.

Sasuke poked his daughter's forehead, interrupting her train of thought. "It's not the snakes. Go ahead."

If it wasn't the snakes, what was it? Sarada didn't remember her papa having any other summons that he often used other than perhaps the hawks. Sarada wouldn't mind the hawks, actually. She doubted it was the hawks, though, since she saw her father pull out some jerky from his bag. She opened the scroll, signed her name, and eagerly performed the summoning, curious as to what animal it would be.

With a "poof", a panther appeared in front of her with an annoyed expression.

"Dammit, not babysitting duty again!"