I do not own the 100

They lost the signal on day 895 and it felt like Bellamy was losing her all over again. For the last few weeks they tried to make the coms work while listening to Clarke, blabbering on about life on earth. She told them how lonely she was, how she had to dye her hair again, how she saw color returning to earth. She told them how she fixed the rover and was going back to the lab to find some extra tools for next time. And then it stayed silent. At first no one thought anything of it, Clarke had radioed every day at a different hour, more or less, so it was entirely possible she was just running late. But a few hours later a new day started and the coms remained silent. They began to worry. The first few days Raven and Bellamy didn't leave the main room. They eat, slept and worked in silence, hoping to pick up any sound that may come from the radio. Nothing happened.

Day 899

"Hey Bellamy, nothing really happened, I just drove around some more."

Day 914

"Bellamy, you know, I never thanked you for making me a better person. So, thank you. Other than that, nothing new to say."

Day 925

"I went by the bunker again, tried to move some rumble and failed, again."

Day 930

"This one is not really for any of you up there, not that I know if you can hear me, but this one is just me getting something of my chest. I'm sorry, I am really sorry for everything Wells. You tried to shield me from the truth, because you know it would break me. Thank you for that. When I learned what really happened, I thought I would have time to mend my relationship with you. Little did I know that time is a luxury we don't get on earth. I'm sorry and I will be sorry till the end of my days. I love you, may we meet again."

Since that one fluke almost a 100 days ago, the radio had been silent. It made her believe that no one was listening. She never knew if the satellite had completed its task. For all she knew, she failed and left her people stranded in space. The thought made her feel sick and every day she kept it at bay. Never really daring to think that she was alone, and responsible for their deaths.

7 days ago, they lost Clarkes signal. Bellamy was returning to his old state, to how he was in those first few weeks. He started isolation himself, or stayed hours anchored at the radio station. He didn't speak to any of them, and if he did he snapped. This went on for days and then weeks. After 3 weeks of silence some began giving up hope. Bellamy didn't, if he gave up, it would mean she was gone forever. Every day started to look the same. Bellamy stood up, took a cold shower, took is breakfast in silence and worked in the morning in the control room. Raven tried to start a conversation every now and then, but was always met with silence. He would skip lunch to work at the radio but after a half hour, Harper would set a plate with food next to him. In the afternoon, he and Monty worked in the algae farm. At night, he would silently lie down next to Echo, sleeping for a few hours and hoping she would wait there in his dreams.

The routine was exactly what Bellamy needed. Every day looked and felt the same. The days seemed to melt into each other and time became a funny idea. It passed at a rapid pace and seemed to drag along at the same time. Bellamy didn't need to think, the only thing he needed to do was breath, which was hard enough on its own.

Day 915

"I need you, we all need you."

Startled he dropped the little box with algae in his hand. Bellamy couldn't look away while the greenish substance slowly covered the floor.

"We need you back, Bellamy. And I mean really back, not zombie you."

This time he looked up, seeing Monty at his usual place. But it was as if he saw him for the first time in a long while. Monty's once shiny hair hung flat and lifeless against his head. His shoulders were slumped and his bones sticking out. His eyes were the most striking difference of them all, once full of mischief and fun, now full of despair and death. The others were silent, not looking up from their food

"You can't do this to us, we just can't…"

It was as if he was transported in time, back to that clearing in the woods. Clarke, beaten and bloodied next to me, begging me to come back with her. Clarke. She was the one that made him a leader. Up until that moment he had never even thought about the responsibility he had gained in those early days. A responsibility he still had and ignored. Bellamy braced his hands against the table in front of him and took a few shuddering breaths.

"She said the exact same sentence to me once, did you know that? It was when we were all high on jobi nuts and Clarke and I were on a field trip. Dax tried to kill me and then Clarke for trying to protect me. I ended up killing him."

A heavy silence followed. No one ever really knew what happened with Dax. Now they knew why. Suddenly Bellamy felt a weight on his hand and looked up to Raven. A small nod was all he needed to go on.

"I was going to run. I mean, I shot the goddamn Chancellor, no way was I going to be granted freedom. But she begged me and said those words. I need you, we all need you. And I listened. She said she couldn't do it without me, like I couldn't without her. I'm sorry, I truly am. I'll do better, for myself, for you guys and for her. I promise."

No one dared to speak, for several minutes only the beeping of the controlpanels were heard.

"Hallway 3 had a problem this morning, we should check that out." Murphy stood up and left without saying another word. Bellamy soon followed. They walked in silence for a while.

"The princess sure knew how to boss you around, didn't she?" Murphy said.

Looking up Bellamy noticed a small smile on the grumpy man's face. He returned it with a half-smile. A half-smile for a half-joke.

"Yeah, you don't even want to know."

Day 944

Bellamy stood up with the strangest feeling, like the end of the world was starting all over again. After his shower, he entered the main room. One look at Raven and he knew his world would yet again fall apart.

"Please, don't."

He couldn't handle whatever news she had. His mind went a hundred different directions, some worse than others. The bunker made contact but Octavia was dead. One of the others fell terribly ill. The systems were malfunctioning. Clarke… Clarke was. No, he shouldn't go there! She was surviving down there, she was alive.

"I'm sorry, Bell, but you need to hear this. We won't have enough fuel left to go back. I will find a way to get us back, but it might take a while. So, don't get your hopes up to that 5-year mark. I will do my best, I just don't know how long."

Bellamy's thoughts were a mess. Longer than 5 years means that his sister and everyone else will probably think there dead. Clarke will have to open the doors alone and lead the survivors with Octavia instead of him. If she survives at all. Everything suddenly became a guess. Their futures unsure. Bellamy felt the need to break something, anything. As if breaking something else would stop himself from breaking again. But he shouldn't, he couldn't. He made them a promise, to be there for them. He could not become the ghost he once was.

"This is not your fault, we'll deal with this like we always do."

Day 944

The moment Clarke opened her eyes, she knew that this would be a turning point in her life. Why? She couldn't tell, she just knew. Like always she would take her rags, start a fire, put a kettle with water on it and leave for the little stream a 100 meter south. Her camp started to feel like home, with its garage for the rover, little house and shed for storing food and what not. Slowly she rubbed the sleep from her eyes and started to undress. The water was ice cold and woke up her whole body. Afterwards she made her way to the fire. Passing her shed, she heard a hollow thud. Clarkes body reacted before her mind. The rifle, glued to her side, was pointing at the door in a matter of seconds. She stormed inside and was ready to fire.

The rifle fell to the floor.

The sound the only thing to interrupt the silence.

Because for the first time in more than 2 years and a half,

Clarke stared in the eyes of another human.

She was not alone anymore.

Hey guys, I'm soooo sorry it took me so long to post another chapter! My life has been crazy busy and I just didn't have much inspiration.

Anyways, this is still not perfect, English is still not my first language, but yeah well it'll have to do.

Let me know what you think and I hope I can post as soon as possible

Lots of Love, Sara