"There's no comparison," he murmurs into the damp curve of skin below her left breast. It's always one of his very first stops, the bright, shiny merry-go-round near the entrance of her amusement park body. She tastes the best there he's discovered, salty and sweet and Scully.

"To what?" she asks. She's up on her elbows watching him, the way she does sometimes, with that hungry look that makes him wonder how he managed seven long years without this. He closes in on a nipple and her breath hitches. He likes that hitch, thinks he'll play with her a while and see if she'll do it again. He likes playing with Scully, likes her desperate and begging for him, likes fooling himself into thinking he's not just as needy as she is.

"Between porn and the real thing." He trails his tongue to the spot where milky white turns inside-of-a-strawberry pink, then retreats. She whimpers in frustration and he smiles.

"And that's a surprise?" Her voice is husky while he sucks on flesh an inch from where they both want him. Just a little to the right, Mulder her eyes plead. Please. He grinds himself in circles against her leg, his mouth watering at the very thought of giving in.

"Real life could never compete with the misogynistic fantasy world of pornography," she continues breathlessly, lips trapped between teeth and eyes following his tongue as he begins circling round her nipple, following the spiral of her yellow brick road back to its start, to the very first skipping step Dorothy took on her way out of Munchkinland. "Women are destined to fail when placed up against th—" Her breath hitches again (he almost loses it but doesn't) as his tongue dips ever-so-close-but-not-quite-there.

She thrusts forward in an attempt to meet him (tsk-tsk, Miss Scully, are you trying to cheat?), but he retreats before she succeeds.

"Dammit, Mulder!"

He chuckles, but only to cover his own hunger, only to keep from embarrassing himself when he's pretending to be the one in charge here.

But it's so, so tempting. Her nipples are expressive little things—they're the right eyebrow arch of her body—sassy and coy and so damn sexy. Drawn up tight like a bow, they're begging, just begging, to be unwrapped. By his tongue. He nudges a pert bit of pink with his nose and she hisses, arching her back somewhere over the rainbow (yellow brick road indeed) while her head drops back against the sheets.

"No, no, Agent Scully," he mutters, his hot, humid breaths making her squirm, "I didn't mean porn is better. On the contrary. Reality is better by far." Pornography could never provide him with that desperate clench of her fingers in the sheets, the hot as hell wet of her mouth when she takes him all the way into the back of her throat, that oh oh oh whimper of hers right before she's about to come.

He closes his lips finally over her flesh—her pretty little, hard little, pink little nipple—and yessss, it was worth all the teasing. She bucks her hips and moans in pleasure (porn could never give him that either). "Iss sho mush bedder…," he mumbles around his full-of-her mouth.

"Ohhh, it is," she sighs, "And you're such a goddamn stud for realizing it." He really is, isn't he? A regular goddamn stud.

Okay, she doesn't really say that, but his mind's too preoccupied right now to really listen to her, even though what she says is usually so very perfect and so damn smart, but all he can focus on right now is the way she's rolling her hips beneath him and her sweet Scully taste on his tongue. He was fooling himself really, thinking he was in control.

Her fingers hold him there, and he wonders whether he could suck at her breast until he's consumed her entirely, until she's deep down inside him and they've become the same person. But of course that wouldn't be as much fun as this.

He pulls away to sample her other side. Just to check and see. To make sure she tastes just as good on the right as the left (he knows she does, he checked last night, but you can never be too sure). On his way, he says, "You'd be a good porn star though, Scully—your perky little breasts and your tight little derriere..." His shit-eating grin slides along her skin as he awaits her reply.

She doesn't disappoint. "Shut up, Mulder," she murmurs, "And find something a bit more useful to do with that mouth." He flicks out his tongue and swipes at her neglected nipple. "Yeahhh," she sighs, "Like that." He tickles it a bit with just the tip of his tongue, drags his lips lightly back and forth, the way he knows makes her crazy. It makes him crazy, too, if he's being honest—how she wriggles beneath him like a slippery little minnow while her nipple grows tighter and tighter with each passing swipe. His dick gets so hard when she gets like this, when he knows he's the one doing it to her.

But she's impatient tonight, and before she's reached her usual frenzy, she grabs at his hair and pulls him down. Mmmmm, perfect. They both moan at her victory.

"Wanna know what your porn star name would be? I know a game…," he asks between sucks and licks and nips.

"No, I don't. I just want you to keep doing that," she murmurs, "And this." She reaches for his hand and pulls it to her other breast. He likes it when she gets demanding, likes it when she rocks her hips beneath him as he rolls one nipple between his fingers and the other between his teeth.

"Come on, Scully, it'll be fun." He pulls away his mouth and adds, "I'll stop if you won't play with me." Gotta gain some leverage back here. The way her thigh is rubbing against his crotch is making him dizzy.

"Don't you dare," she threatens, and he smiles. She'll let him talk about anything as long as he's touching her. If he'd only known that years ago, it would've saved both of them a lot of grief.

He smoothes his hand down her tummy (Scully's got the sexiest tummy) and on down to his very favorite place. He was lying earlier when he said she tastes best beneath her left breast. He'd forgotten about this. If her breast is a merry-go-round, her pussy is the fucking Scream Machine, the biggest, most thrilling coaster in the park (and quite aptly named to boot).

But anyway, he's getting distracted. He was about to give her a porn star name. He slips two fingers inside and she hums, arching her hips to meet him.

"Tell me the name of your first pet," he murmurs against her ribs. She's so damn wet, and with each slide of his fingers, he feels her getting wetter.

"What?" she gasps, rotating her hips in tight little circles the way she does when she likes it.

"Your porn name," he reminds her. He grinds his cock against her leg before remembering that he's supposed to be in control here, but goddamn, she's making these humming-whimpering noises that keep making him forget.

"Fuck, Mulder, I don't…" Christ, he loves it when she uses that word, because he knows she only uses it when she's getting desperate. He stops moving his fingers in warning. "Ugh, you're an asshole!" she groans. "Candy! Melissa had a hamster named Candy!" What a good girl she is.

"Okay, now the street you grew up on," he croons, right before sucking in a nipple and adding his thumb to the mix, rubbing it in hard figure eights over her clit, just how she's shown him she likes.

"Unggghhh, so… so many," she gasps, holding his head pressed to her breast to keep him from stopping again. He can't help himself. He brings his unoccupied hand down to his dick and squeezes. She's so fucking hot when she loses her ability to speak in complete sentences.

"Jush p'ck one," he mumbles around her perky porn star tit.

"Ahhh, unghh, Paradise Lane… Oh God, Mulder, unghhhh feels soooo….," she squeezes out. Her hips are moving furiously against his busy fingers. She gets so damn frantic, and he loves it.

"Oooh, Scully, that's good! Wow, that's a good one! Candy Paradise!" He stops working her over for a second and she whines in frustration. He really should probably give it up, because he knows she couldn't give two fucks about her porn star name, not when his fingers are buried third-knuckle deep inside her, but really, that's the best porn star name he's ever heard (and he's quite well-versed in the subject).

"Mulder!" she pouts with a desperate little thrust of her hips, and it's so fucking cute, he starts back up again.

"Candy Paradise," he says wistfully. "Fuck yeah, Scully, you are definitely one hot little candy paradise, aren't you?" He licks a trail across her chest and up to her clavicle. "I could suck on you alllll day long." He doesn't know why, but the thought of Scully strutting around as Candy Paradise, her skin sweet and sticky as a chocolate bar, is almost enough to make him lose it.

He works his mouth down her body the way he'd eat a lollipop—long, slow licks punctuated with nips in her very sweetest places—while she writhes around beneath him. He's getting himself almost as worked up as she is, and she's extremely worked up right now, extremely. She's grinding against his fingers, fucking herself with them so that he's barely even moving, just keeping that steady pressure on her clit the way she likes it. Mmmmm, yeah baby, just like that, you take whatever you need.

He nears her roller coaster pussy with his mouth, and she groans, low and desperate. "Fuck, Mulder," she whimpers. He knows what she wants. And she wants it bad. He wants it, too, wants to taste that Scream Machine candy paradise all for himself, wants to make her come all over his fingers and his mouth just like a porn star, only it's Scully, and Scully is so much fucking better than a porn star, regardless of her perfect porn star name.

"Please," she begs, trying to push his face down with her hands, and ughhh, she's pink and slick as a strawberry ring-pop down there. It's too much, too much, and though he wants to tease a bit longer, she's so damn appetizing right now, his mouth is watering. He lets her shove him down, then draws that ring-pop fully up into his mouth—oh yesss. He sucks and he licks, and Jesus Christ, she tastes so good, and then she's doing that oh oh oh thing that she does, and then fuck fuck fuck she's coming, clenching around his fingers, and shit, this is so much sexier than any damn porno he's ever watched by far.

He's practically humping the mattress watching her come, eyes peering up her torso as her breasts quiver and her neck arches back. She's so beautiful. So fucking beautiful. Even Candy Paradise could never be as beautiful as Dana Scully.

She shudders finally (that's what she does when she's done), strokes her fingers through his hair and smiles at him. "You're right, Mulder. That was so much better than any of those movies." She pulls him up her body with her hands and kisses him long and slow. He knows she's trying to taste herself on his tongue, trying to see whether she really tastes like candy or whether he was just bullshitting her. He'd never bullshit her. Never. Well, almost never.

"By the way," she says, nipping her way around the curve of his jaw, "What's yours?"

"Mine?" he asks, having difficulty comprehending her, since her hand has found its way to his aching dick, and she's already stroking, stroking.

"Your porn star name," she whispers in his ear. She rubs her thumb in circles over the head of his cock and he feels faint. "I told you mine, now you tell me yours…."

No, no, he shouldn't've ever started this game. Bad idea, Mulder, what were you thinking? He knows what he was thinking. He was thinking that Scully's hotter than any porn star he's ever seen, that's what he was thinking. But Christ, her hand, unghh, she knows how to use that hand, and those fingers… He thrusts into her palm.

"What is it, Mulder?" she coos, "Rocky Pine? Sparky Johnson? I wanna know." She's grinding herself all wet against his thigh now, and he can barely breathe. He probably should just make something up, come up with some clever, witty thing like she just did (damn, how can she be so smart at a time like this?), but he can't. He can hardly even think right now.

"Uhh… Droopy… after the dwarf, you know?" he grunts, "Droopy… ummm….Droopy Willow Branch."

Her hand stills for a second, and he peeks at her face. And oh, Scully. She's pressing her lips together and trying her hardest not to laugh. And she's really trying hard, he can tell, trying not to crush him when he's at his very weakest (because with her hand on his dick like that, he's definitely not the one in control anymore).

But it's funny, he knows it's fucking funny. She's literally shaking now, trying to hold it in, and so he gives her a reprieve. "I know, Scully, it sucks." She bursts out laughing, and it's just so absurd, her with her hand on his painfully hard cock, him with her juices still slick on his fingers, and both of them with porn star names that are probably the most accurate descriptions on the planet.

"I'm sorry," she gasps out, "Mulder, I'm sorry, but you do know the dwarf wasn't Droopy, right? It was Dopey!" She collapses into another fit of giggles, and he doesn't know what's worse, that his porn star name is Droopy Willow Branch or that for 35 years, he didn't know his dog had the wrong fucking name.

But he can't be mad when she laughs like that. He especially can't be mad when she's started back up with her squeezing-stroking-grinding routine either. Scully has a way of making everything better, head wounds and hurt feelings and even emasculating fictional names that really don't mean anything at all in the grand scheme of the universe.

She stretches until her mouth is right at his ear and sucks his earlobe between her teeth. Then she whispers, "I don't know, Mulder, I always sort of thought the seven dwarves were pretty hot. And plus, there's NOTHING droopy about this willow branch right here." She grasps him fully in her hand and throws her leg across his hip. Then she tilts just-so to slide his absolutely-not-droopy cock right in.

And oh, sweet candy paradise. Honestly, there really is just no comparison between this and the movies. He can't believe that for seven years, he tried to pretend there was. He sinks his fingers into her tight little porn star derriere and buries himself inside her. And for the next several minutes, she takes him on the roller coaster ride of a lifetime.