Twilight Sparkle was keeping to herself, and for good reason.

She knew what she had done. She knew what she had become. She was a monster…

When she saw the look in Spike's eyes, she knew she had gone way too far. Seeing how much she had hurt him, knowing that she had broken him… Knowing that she had told him that he was unnecessary, a nuisance… She could never go back to the bright and kind filly she once was.

She wanted to apologize. She needed to apologize. But how could she? Would he listen? She had heard his screams. The rustling… she didn't know what he was doing, but his screaming and wailing told her plenty, and made her heart ache.

She made him feel that way. She made his cries sound that way. He was broken, and she was to blame.

She looked at herself in her mirror, which was lacking in photographs of herself and her friends – she had taken them all down so that she wouldn't feel the pain from seeing such happy times. Happy times that would never again be in her grasp. She was a mess. She had bags under her eyes, her mane and tail were unkempt, her fur had a layer of dust coating it, and she knew she smelled. She needed to bathe, and badly, but why would she do that? She was staying in her room. Nobody saw her, except…

Except Spike, when she went to relieve herself and when she opened the door to retrieve food.

She swallowed, turning to again face her room's door. At some point, the sullen cries had stopped, and for some time now, it had been silent. She trembled as she stared at the door, thinking of checking up on him. Thinking of leaving her room. She couldn't, though, could she…? She was a monster. She rejected Pinkie Pie to the point that Pinkie had committed suicide. She lashed at Spike with words that were purely fabricated out of venom and hatred that was meant to be aimed at Twilight herself, but was released upon an innocent victim.

The faint scent of blood wafted to her nostrils, and her eyes grew wide in terror. She stared at the door. The silent, silent door. The towering entryway to the world that she was no longer a part of. The foreboding captor of her soul, keeping her locked away, like she should be. It kept her away from everyone else.

But it wasn't enough, was it? It wasn't keeping her completely out of the others' lives like she wanted it to. She was doing the same thing to Spike as she had done to Pinkie Pie, wasn't she? Treating him terribly, ignoring him, firing at him with her hurtful words – words that were surely heavier than stones to him. Words that surely weighed heavily on him, that made him look at himself with hatred and look down on himself in ways he never should. He was screaming, and now it was silent. It was silent, and now there was the faint smell of blood.

Blood. Silence. Fear.

The Alicorn's heartbeat quickened and she took wobbling steps towards the door. She took shallow, shaking breaths as she stood before the exit of her self-given prison.

Why was it silent? Why could she smell blood?

Why had she hurt Spike like this?

She gasped and wheezed for air and began to hyperventilate, the world darkening at the corners of her eyes, the towering, terrifying, evil door leaning down and staring at her with hate-filled eyes, laughing at her anguish and fear.

She had to know. She had to check on him. But… but…!

The door revealed it's fangs and she cowered before it. She didn't belong out there, not anymore. She wasn't to leave her room. She wasn't to hurt anyone ever again, yet, she had. She had to make it right, didn't she? She had to make certain that he hadn't… That he hadn't left her in the same way that Pinkie Pie had.

However, to check meant to summon enough courage to leave her prison. The courage to face the door, her warden, her keeper, her protector.

To leave meant to move on. To check on him meant to face whatever it was that she had done to him. Was she strong enough to do that? Was she strong enough to go outside with the intent to talk to someone? To apologize to someone who so badly needed her to say that she was sorry and who so badly needed her to explain and take back what she had said? She swallowed and took a deep breath, gathering what little courage she had left. She stood, shaking and clearing the darkness from her mind. She approached her keeper, and magically twisted the knob. She bit her lip and inhaled again, closing her eyes and opening the door in one swift motion.

Slowly, she opened her eyes. To her relief, there was no body waiting for her to find. However, there were small pools of blood, with very recognizable purple scales strewn about. What had happened? Had he… had he hurt himself?

Had he run away?

No… No…! He wouldn't survive out in the world, especially not if he was making himself bleed! Predators would make easy prey of him, if he didn't… if he didn't kill himself first.

She quietly began to search around the castle, confused to find it completely empty. Not even Starlight was around, and it made her realize that, to find them and to check up on them… to apologize… she'd have to go outside. Completely outside.

She searched her mind for any amount of remaining bravery, trying to convince herself that it would be alright, and that she had to go out, to find them. To talk.

But… But she couldn't. She stepped rearward from the castle's main entrance, backing away fearfully from the rest of the world. She was a monster. She needed to be locked back away. To never get the chance to hurt others again…

She turned away and bolted back up the castle's stairs, to her room, slamming her door behind her and panting heavily, shaking and panicking as she curled up on herself in front of her door, quietly sobbing to herself. She didn't belong out there anymore. She didn't deserve pity, or to see the happiness of others. Not after what she did, not after she destroyed the hearts of two of her friends.

If… If Spike came back… She hoped that she'd be able to confront him then. She hoped she'd say the right things. She hoped she could at least start making up for what she had done and said.

If Spike truly was harming himself, and her words had something to do with it… She had to put an end to it.

More than anything, she wanted redemption. She wished things could go back to how they were, but she knew that that was impossible.

Two had died, one was hurting himself… It was her fault.

Her fault. Her fault. Her fault. Her fault. Her. Fault.

The door laughed as she sobbed in anguish.

The door was right to laugh at her, the door was right to scare her.

Once she apologized, she'd help the door keep her imprisoned better. She'd put spells on it, give it power to keep her trapped for all eternity. That way… once she said what she had to, she could be alone and never hurt another soul ever again. Only then would she be able to repent for however long she continued to breathe.