Dear Reader,

It's an absolute pleasure to be back and writing for you all again. I'm very excited to share this story with you all, but before we can begin I felt a need to explain this story in itself.

I began this story a few months ago on a day off from work. Something I thought would be an innocent little one shot became much more. I started writing this story and couldn't stop. I wasn't sure why a one chapter story suddenly morphed into two with more in the wings. But I went with it. The first two chapters ended up consolidating into one mega chapter.

This story is extremely personal to me. I've battled with an eating disorder for eight years of my life. The numbers on the scale, the number of calories in food, the need to get it out, and the need to not eat at all or eat way too much are all very real. I've heard people laugh when I talk about how afraid I am about gaining weight, but it's no joke. Eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of any mental illness. I've been in treatment with girls who couldn't weigh more than eighty pounds soaking wet. These disorders can kill you, and they will.

By no means do I intend to glorify mental illness with this fanfic. In fact, I caution you all right here, right now, that some, if not most of the behaviors illustrated in this story are able to be imitated. But I DO NOT In any way condone or encourage these destructive behaviors. Instead I hope to promote awareness for the deadliness of these diseases, and to hopefully help someone to not make the same mistakes that I made. If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, please get help. Go to the national eating disorders association (NEDA) website to learn more and get help today.

And to my readers who are indeed struggling with these serious issues, Here's what I want you to know:

You are beautiful. The scale can't measure your worth or potential. What people see on the outside isn't what makes them beautiful. It's the beauty on the inside that makes an impression. You deserve to love yourself today. You CAN recover. You can beat your anorexia, your bulimia, your binge eating disorder. You are a warrior, and you can win this battle. You deserve treatment, and you deserve to be happy again. I know how scary it is to ask for help. I was terrified of it. But you can't let it stop you from getting the recovery that you deserve. And if you're struggling and need to talk, my inbox is always open. You are deserving of freedom from your disorder. But you have to want recovery for yourself, not because someone else tries to force it on you. They can't make you follow through. Only you can do that. It's your body, and it's your life. What you do with that body will affect you for the rest of your life. Take things one day at a time, one step at a time. And please know that you are enough just the way you are.

I hope you all enjoy this story!

Love,

Holly