SAY SOMETHING
Written for the Strictly Dramione 18+ Springfest!
Prompt : "Granger, you will always be my weak spot, my addiction. You'll always be the one thing I can't say no to. You'll always be in here..." He placed his right hand over his left chest. "But…
Genre:Coworkers
Optional side pairing: Ron/Pansy
Warnings: Language, Sexual Content, Angst, Slight Drastoria(hey, some need the warning),Infidelity
A/N: So I need to give a huge shoutout to Bria who listened to me whine everyday since getting my prompt about all my issues and writer's block. My lovely beta frogster for always managing to give it a read, no matter the time of night, the minute it's finished. A special beta thank you to lightofevolution for giving it a second look and teaching me the difference between blond and blonde!
Part One
Funny isn't it? How some things start out the same way they end. For them, it was chaos.
XxX
June 24, 2001
"Fuck, Granger, please be breathing," were the last words she heard as she slipped into unconsciousness. She had been taken by surprise by a damn stunning spell that had hit her square in the chest and sent her careening down the stairs, making her land in an unflattering position at the bottom. Her vision blurred and her body was radiating in pain. She barely made out the form of her partner before the pain finally overcame her. She woke up in her and Draco's shared hotel room, groggy, and her entire body was terribly sore.
"Damnit, where's the fucking healing salve!"
She winced at the sound of Draco's panicked voice. The soft whimper was enough to snap him out of his current frenzied pace as he tore apart the room in search of anything to help the battered golden girl. He whipped around, his eyes wide, and rushed towards her side. The missing salve was now clutched in a white-knuckled grasp.
"Fuck, Granger, you scared the shit out of me!
She tried to move but was immediately assaulted by pain. She couldn't put any weight on her arms to push herself up. She decided against moving altogether when her legs began screaming at her as she attempted to bring her knees up under the comforter. Her current state of undress was making her incredibly self-conscious. Draco had removed everything but her undergarments. Her well-toned body was on full display-her scars, her dignity, her knobby knees, every insecurity left ripped open for the young Slytherin's scrutiny. No one had ever seen her in such a way, not even Ron the few times that they had attempted having sex. It was a lights-out, shirts-on affair.
"For fuck's sake, just stay still. You just crashed down an entire flight of stairs, now's not the time for movement or modesty."
He took a seat in the small bedside chair and began not-so-gently rubbing the salve into the purpling flesh of her thighs. His silver eyes burned with fury and refused to meet her gaze. "You know we are undercover, right, or did that fact escape that pretty little head of yours when you went after Dolohov on your own! We can't go the to the damn hospitals here, fuck, woman, we don't even have permission from the French ministry to be here!"
She was taken aback by his scolding words. Normally he was incredibly reserved around her. He hadn't spoken more than fifty words to her since they had been assigned to each other after they had graduated from the Auror academy six months before, and she was sure he had broken that record just in the last five minutes.
The guilt began to creep up on her, an incredibly foreign feeling in respect to the uppity pureblood beside her. She responded in a quiet voice. "I'm sorry, I just thought I could…" She let her sentence trail off as his warm hands began massaging the jelly-like balm into her calves. The effect was immediate, the pain quickly receding and making way for a different sensation to take hold. His soft hands were touching her in an entirely too intimate way. His fingertips ghosted over her skin as he worked his way up, looking for anywhere else that needed attention. When he reached her collarbone, her breathing became laborious, huge gulps of oxygen did nothing to calm her thundering heartbeat. She was certain Malfoy could hear it trying to rip out of her chest.
His eyes finally met hers when he made his way to her face. She found herself frozen, locked in his intense gaze, molten silver versus honeyed brown. Neither blinking and both searching the other for answers to questions that had no business being asked. He broke contact first and turned his attention back to his previous agenda. Using two fingers, he moved her chin to the left and then the right, leaning in closer. A few strands of his hair fell forward, brushing her jaw as he resumed his journey along her shoulders, rubbing the healing substance into a large blackened patch of flesh there.
Abruptly he stopped. Straightening up, he turned away from her and set the emptied jar on the bedside table and proceeded to wipe his hand clean with a kerchief he produced from his pocket. When he was finished, he placed the dirtied fabric in the wastebasket to the left of him and took a deep breath.
"Of course you thought you could. You're Hermione Granger, Gryffindor through and through. But not everything in this fucking world revolves around you being brave all the damn time."
"That's not what I was thinking!"
Draco snorted loudly and turned his gaze on her. "The absence of thought was very much the source of the problem here. You certainly weren't thinking when you went against direct orders not to pursue. You were supposed to confirm identity and report location. That was it. Now we have to relocate that sorry piece of shit instead of getting the fuck home."
"Look, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have gone off alone."
He snorted loudly, interrupting her quiet words, and replied, "Gee, what clued you into that astute observation?"
Not letting his quip deter her, she continued, "I shouldn't have assumed I could handle it solo. You're my partner for a reason and I should've waited for you. Fresh start?" she extended out her hand to him, awaiting to see if he would accept her offer. She was willing to let the past be the past. He could've left her there broken on the floor after being stunned. No one but their handler knew they were there and he could've easily made sure she didn't make it home. Instead he saved her, healed her, showed her just how much he could be trusted.
"Fucking Gryffindors." They were mumbled, but she caught his words. Rolling her eyes, she dropped her hand and leaned back against the bed, letting the feathersoft pillow cradle her tender head.
"You can't fool me with your surly I-don't-care attitude. You could've let me die and you didn't."
"Contrary to popular belief and past grievances I'm not a sadistically driven asshole," he replied. He rose from the chair and headed towards the window. Drawing back the thick curtains with one hand and placing the other in the pocket of his khakis.
"For as long as I can remember, my life has been ruled by fear. I was always afraid of something, afraid of failure, of my father, of the Dark Lord, and then I was afraid of being nothing more than my fear. I thought maybe if I helped everyone with theirs."
"You became an Auror so you could finally be the hero in your story?" She found herself posing the question aloud before she had a chance to stop herself.
"Something like that." He backed away from the window and let the curtain fall in a heavy thud. "So you see, I didn't save you because I could. I did it because I had to. Also because Finnegan is the only one without a partner right now and I refuse to be forced into subjecting myself to his idiocy." His long strides had him at his suitcase on the other side of the room in seconds. She watched as he began rummaging through one of the pockets, curious as to what he was doing.
"Here," he said as he closed the luggage a few moments later and headed towards her. "Drink four sips of each of these every hour. They will help with anything internally I might have missed and with any residual pain. You'll be sore and weak for the next 24 hours so I'd suggest staying here and resting." He set two large potion vials on the table, one clear, the other purple.
"Thank you, Draco." Simple words that carried a tremendous weight. Words that started an entire new chapter of their lives.
XxX
November 30, 2001
"Granger, this isn't even slightly funny."
"You're so pretty though. Red is definitely your color."
"You breath a word of this to anyone and I'll shave that horrible orange demon you call a pet. And fuck you very much, red is repugnant. I'd look far better in green. "
Hermione narrowed her eyes at her partner, "You touch my cat Malfoy and I'll hex your bollocks off. And red is classy and sophisticated." She grabbed hold of her purse and quickly fished out a sneakoscope. "Okay, the target is in position. We have a two-hour window to extract that file from his briefcase and get out before he has a chance to pass them on to The Emerald Skulls. They get ahold of that list of secret-keepers and we will have a third wizarding war on our hands."
"Yes that would be tragic and all, but was all this really necessary?" Draco asked while motioning at his disguise for the night. His current appearance was that of a leggy and voluptuous woman wrapped tight in a form-fitting and incredibly short ruby dress. His normal platinum locks were now raven-black curls kissing the top of his shapely arse. "Yes," she replied. "You know Avery doesn't allow men in his club. This is the only way. Besides, you're a fucking knockout and, according to our research, his exact type. Right down to the peep-toe silver heels on your dainty little feet there. You need to attract him, distract him, and lure him into our room. Once there, I'll sneak in behind you and get the file. You knock him out and we get the fuck out of there."
"No, you nitwit, why am I the one doing the flirting and luring and not you-someone who is already a woman and comfortable with a man's attention."
Hermione blushed deeply and Draco smirked at her, immediately very aware why he was the one to flaunt his feminine wiles at his former housemate. "This is too rich. Hermione Granger, the brightest witch of our age, war hero, best O.W.L. scores in two hundred years, and a certifiable badass Auror, can't flirt?" She responded by giving his exposed slender shoulder a hard slap. He yelped at the sudden attack and rubbed the reddening flesh. "Hey! Hands off the merchandise, I need to be in perfect condition if I'm going to lose my dignity in the next couple of hours."
"Oh shut up, I flirt just fine. You're just better at being slutty than me. Also, I hate to break it to you, but you lost your dignity at Hogwarts, third year to be precise. An attractive brilliant brunette with the heart of an angel socked you in your pretentious nose."
"Thanks for reminding me, I still owe you for that one."
She gave him a small smile before handing him his weaponry. He groaned loudly at receiving a dagger and nothing else. "No wand tonight, Malfoy, they have wards at the entrance that pick up on any kind of magical items. This is a Muggle club with a separate entrance to the top level for Avery's wizarding-related business meetings. That's where the sale will go down tomorrow, sometime in the morning, for the list if we aren't successful tonight. While you work your magic on him I'll be scouting out the top level, we will have to be prepared in case we need to acquire it then. Meet me back at our room, 10:45, hopefully you will have Avery in tow. I'll disillusion myself at 10:40 and be posted by the door waiting. So don't show up early, 10:45 on the dot." She gave him a playful smack on his arse. "Go get 'em, tiger."
XxX
December 1, 2001
1:45 a.m
"Granger, we need to talk about what happened back there."
"Damnit, Draco! I specifically told you not to show up early! This is entirely your fault!" She turned around to face him, her vibrant eyes swirling in anger and confusion.
Refusing to back down, he pressed on. "I'm not sorry, not even a little bit. I've been wanting to do that since the academy. You can't fake the kind of reaction you had either. So don't deny it." She was struck silent. He was right, she had enjoyed it, even though he was a woman at the time. The way he touched her, tasted her, that was all Draco, regardless of the gender he had been occupying. At the moment he was back to his normal painfully attractive self, wrapped in only a towel, and she was finding it hard to maintain her resolve.
"Fine! I liked it, okay! It changes nothing. We are nothing more than well-suited partners. Don't complicate it, please."
"No, I think I am going to complicate the fuck out of it." He grabbed her, grasping her shoulders in his hands, and brought her hard against his body. He wrenched her face up and crashed his lips to her, hungrily probing at the seam with his tongue, forcing her to open up for him so he could consume her fully.
He slid his hands into her soft hair, grasping at the loosened curls and letting them come to rest on each side of her head, forcing her to remain still as he plundered her warm mouth. He was enjoying the quiet moans she was failing at hiding when he let loose of her head and decided that her supple arse was a better place for his hands to explore. However, the change was enough to snap Hermione out of her haze. He quickly released her from his grip when she began pushing back on his chest in an effort to separate them and stepped back. Both were breathing hard and staring wide-eyed at the other, both were visibly shaking in shock at what had just transpired.
"We cannot do this, Draco!"
"Yes, we can do this, Hermione. We are both adults who can make their own damn decisions! I want you, and if the way you let me kiss you is any indication, you want me just as bad. What's holding us back here?"
She paused for a moment, gathering her thoughts, her reasons. She leaned against the wall of their newly acquired room, seeing how their last one now contained a very dead Ministry traitor. Draco had arrived too early despite her repeated warnings. She'd barely been able to turn her hair blonde in a hasty attempt at skewing her appearance enough so that she wasn't recognized. Since she had already been spotted by their target, a cloaking spell was out of the question. She and Draco had had to pretend as though they were a package deal and had shared a few rather intimate moments together before they were able to gain the upper hand on Avery. Unfortunately for them, he hadn't been an easy takedown. The ending results weren't pretty and now they were going to have to call in a clean-up crew.
"No one will accept us having something. My friends hate you and Ron is still actively trying to get assigned as my partner! Our world is still healing, Draco, they couldn't handle this, whatever this is."
He was suddenly upon her, pressing into her and trapping her against the wall. "Then we won't tell anyone." His silver eyes bore into hers, swirling with emotions he wasn't able to voice aloud. She met his intense stare with her own, reflecting the same emotions back at him.
"Our little secret," she replied before he wrenched the dress from her body, the material ripping in one fluid motion. He hooked his fingers into her arousal-soaked knickers and tugged them down quickly, tossing them carelessly to the side before burrowing his face between her legs, letting his mouth engulf her womanly folds in a needy kiss. He darted his tongue out and teased the sensitive nub hidden beneath her glistening curls, getting completely lost in the way she tasted and the feel of her fingernails digging into his scalp.
After a few minutes, he felt her legs begin to tremble around him and held fast to her hips with his hands, keeping her steady as she rode out the pleasure-induced waves that washed over her, as he sucked relentlessly on her clit. He gave her a few minutes before kissing his way up her abdomen, lingering for awhile on her breasts, lavishing each with his lips and tongue before finally capturing her mouth in his.
The towel that had previously been adorning his waist had long ago fallen away and his prominent erection was pressing into her abdomen as he continued ravishing her mouth with his. It didn't take him long to finally connect them and he took her hard against the wall, then the floor, then beneath the hot steam of the shower where they took pleasure in the way each other's orgasm tasted on their lips. Eventually they tumbled into a bed, spending the night in each other's arms, learning each other's bodies and how to make them come undone.
XxX
July 29, 2002
"We need to be more careful, Draco, Harry almost saw you!"
The handsome blond was lounging in her bed, his hands resting beneath his head as he watched the frazzled beauty pace the bedroom. "Calm down, Hermione, he didn't, so there's no reason to get yourself worked up. Especially when I just spent the last two hours unwinding you."
"Oh shut up! This is the last time I let you convince me to come back to my place!"
"You know very well if you just warded your doors this wouldn't be an issue. Or you could, you know, try explaining the concept of knocking to your noisy friends."
"You're worse than a child, I swear. As it happens it's good you're already here."
Draco raised an eyebrow at her when he noticed the manila envelope with the word "confidential" stamped across it. Lifting himself up from the bed, he made his way towards her waiting form at the doorway. "Oh joy, what does Boy Wonder have us dying for this time? I didn't much enjoy the last trip, the one we just got back from yesterday, mind you. I'm still cleaning sand out of my clothes."
"Actually, it's an assignment for me. You've been temporarily reassigned to Chang and her former partner MacMillan will be mine," she said as clinically as possible. She knew Draco would immediately react unfavorably if she showed any of the current emotions she was feeling, it would only fuel the fire.
She silently counted down in her head, four...three…two...one.
"What the fuck do you mean, reassigned?" The words were forced between his clenched teeth. He was nose to nose with her, his silver glare baring down. "It's your father, he's been spotted in Germany, and Harry thinks you will be a liability. I know you, you say he's an evil bastard, but he's still your father. You shouldn't be forced to choose if it comes down to it."
"No!" he roared, bringing his hands to her waist and pulling her body as close to his as he could. "I don't want you anywhere near him, especially if I can't be there to protect you!"
"I don't need your protection, I can take care of myself. You can't be anywhere near this, you aren't even supposed to know."
"Please, Hermione, give it to another team. Anyone but you. My father is a twisted and dark man. You have no idea what he's capable of doing."
"I leave tomorrow morning, regardless. So can we not do this….. please? Can we just enjoy this time we have together?"
"Damnit, Im about to do it again."
He brought his head down into the crook of her neck and inhaled the flowery scent emitting from her skin. "Do what?" she asked.
"Complicate the fuck out of this. Hermione, somehow you've managed to burrow so far beneath my skin that you've found yourself a home there. I don't know how or why. Damnit, I don't understand it all, but I love you."
"Well, fuck."
"Yeah, fuck."
XxX
November 14, 2002
"Mr. Malfoy, you can't be in here, I'm sorry. Only family and those on the approved list are allowed."
"She is my family."
"Mr. Malfoy, please, I don't want to have to call security."
"That won't be necessary, Nurse Blackwell, as you can see, Mr. Malfoy is now on the list. Here you go." Draco watched as his raven-haired friend handed the young nurse a clipboard and then made her way over to check on the many machines hooked up to Hermione's frail and broken body.
"Sorry, Healer Parkinson, I must've missed the updated version this morning. Mr. Malfoy, please excuse my ignorance. I will run down and see if they have her blood work ready..." The clearly embarrassed girl stumbled over her words and rushed from the room.
"Pansy, is she... Will she be…" The once proud Slytherin was completely withdrawn, his eyes sunken in and surrounded by hues of black and purple. He had clearly not slept the entire week since the accident and Pansy had a strong suspicion as to why.
"She's got a long way to go recovery-wise. Magic and medicine can only do so much. She's strong though, a survivor, so physically she will be okay eventually. Mentally, well, that's entirely up to her. Now let's talk about you. I'm going to take a wild guess, but I gather there's a lot more going on here then just someone concerned for their partner?"
His silence spoke volumes, and she found herself shaking her head in disbelief at the confirmation when he finally gave a single nod.
"Well, I can honestly say I never saw that coming. How long?" She placed a well-manicured hand on her best friend's shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze.
"Since December of last year." He shrugged off her offer of comfort and moved closer to Hermione. Bending over, he placed a gentle kiss on the unconscious witch's forehead and headed towards the room's exit. Potter and Weasley always checked in on her at 5:45, and he was cutting it dangerously close. They had accepted that as partners, Hermione had to be friendly towards the Malfoy heir, but still didn't approve of the match-up.
He turned one last time to look at Hermione before addressing his oldest friend. "Pansy, you can't say anything to anyone. She doesn't want that, nor need that right now."
"Don't worry about it, okay? I'll owl you updates every few hours. Draco, please know that I'm incredibly sorry about what happened."
His eyes hardened immediately and she suddenly remembered how dangerous he could really be."I wish I could've been the one to kill him. Father or not, what he did, what he's done. He always did have this way of taking away any joy in my life. I don't know why I thought I could keep her. Just this once, I wanted something for me. Do you think she will even be able to stomach seeing me after what's happened?"
Before Pansy had a chance to answer he turned away from her and left, the door swinging back and forth the only indication he had been there at all.
XxX
November 27, 2002
"Draco, it doesn't change anything."
"Why the fuck not? I almost lost you, and I had to sneak in to even see you!"
"You really think after what just happened with your father, my friends would be okay with us being together?"
"The real question is, are you okay with us being together, after what my father did to you?"
"Don't be dramatic, Draco, of course I am."
XxX
May 18, 2003
"Why are you still pretending, Hermione?"
"It's not that simple, Draco!"
"It is that simple! It was I who drank you in, tasting the flavor of your soul. I alone who knows the melody of your heart as you come apart on the edge of pleasure." His eyes fixated on her trembling lips. He wanted desperately to reach out and crush her against his body and capture her mouth and heart once more.
She inhaled deeply, conflicted and at a loss for how to react. She kept her voice as calm and level as possible. "You want me to give up my friends, my entire life? For what?"
"Damnit, Granger, for me! You've had me on this fucking merry go round of insanity for almost two damn years. Nonstop spinning in circles, excuse after excuse as to why the timing isn't right. Well, I'd really like to get the fuck off now."
He was pacing their office, running his hands through his hair, chest heaving, breathing erratically, anger coursing through every vein in his body. His confused, addled thoughts were running unchecked and hammering to get out. How could she still just stand there and pretend what they had wasn't real?
Hermione was equally conflicted. She knew she loved him. She couldn't picture not seeing him every morning for the rest of their lives. Yet there was always something there, holding her back. Ashamed as she was to admit it, she cared what people thought of her, she cared about the reputation she had painstakingly built up over the years.
People still threw snide remarks and cold glares at Draco despite his stellar reputation at the auror department. The perfect example: tonight he had been recognized for all his efforts and awarded an Order of Merlin, First Class. It was a huge Ministry celebration as a few others were being honored that night as well. Yet it was Draco everyone was whispering about, wondering who he tricked or blackmailed into giving him an award. She cared about it far more than she should have.
He had only wanted a dance, to hold her close and feel her warmth on his special night. One stupid simple dance. Offering his hand to her in front of the Weasley clan had been his first miscalculation. Assuming she would accept his hand was the second. She shook her head no and dared to laugh at Ron's "I didn't know ferrets could dance!" remark.
She had been nervous, caught off guard, and reacted poorly. Instantly regretful, she followed him out of the ballroom as he stalked out quickly. She shouted for him to stop, hoping he would let her explain. Instead, he led her into their shared workspace before turning on her and letting loose months of pent-up emotions in regards to their relationship.
"Granger, you will always be my weak spot, my addiction. You'll always be the one thing I can't say no to. You'll always be in here..." He placed his right hand over his left chest. "But I can't do this anymore. I want all of you, all the bloody time. Not what you're willing to give me some of the time. You need to make a choice. It's either we do this for real, out in the open for all the world to see, or not at all. I just can't take being your dirty secret anymore."
"Please don't do this, Draco! I just need a little more time!"
"Three days Hermione, in three days I'm leaving London. Please, Im begging you, come with me. I'll be departing via a Ministry-provided portkey at 3:30 p.m from the registry office. If you don't show up….you needn't worry about me or how I'll react. I won't be returning to show you."
He tore out of the office leaving her behind in a stunned and somber silence. Giving her no chance for a rebuttal. She was going to fix this, she had to.
XxX
May 21, 2003
10:30 a.m
She was going to do this.
She really was.
She was choosing him and it was absolutely terrifying.
11:45 a.m
No one would ever understand them, they would be hounded, ridiculed and most likely plastered across every newspaper. She couldn't handle that.
Best to end things now before it got ugly.
Yes, that was her final decision.
1:27 p.m
Who gave a hippogriff's rotten arse what others thought.
She loved him, that's all she needed.
She would be damned if anyone or anything would stand in her way.
3:00 p.m
"What the fuck am I supposed to do?!"
3:05 p.m
She dropped the entire bag of Floo powder into her fireplace and screamed out her destination. She wasn't surprised when the fireplace she came flying through at the Ministry collapsed around her. "Fuck, they aren't going to be happy about that," she mumbled to herself as she tried to get up from the floor she had been flung onto. She was certain she would have a lot of bruising soon, but she didn't have time to dwell on anything other than getting to Draco, brushing away the debris and soot from her clothing she set out towards the elevators.
3:14 p.m
This wasn't happening, this couldn't be happening. The elevator she was occupying had been stuck on level 3 for five minutes now. The enchantments that kept them functional hadn't been recast at the noon shift change and just this one particular elevator's magic had run its course. Apparition wards were a part of the Ministry's security measures so she was well and truly stuck.
3:25
If she ran fast she could make it.
3:27
Just a little further, the registry office was only a few doors away.
"Hey Hermione, what's the rush?"
"Sorry Harry, can't talk right now. I'll see you later."
"Hey! Wait for a minute please, I really need to tell you something about me and Ginny!"
"I can't right now Harry, please….. just owl me whatever it is! I need to get to registry by 3:30!"
3:30
She ripped the door open to the small and crowded office and searched desperately for Draco, hoping she would spot his signature white-blond hair in the crowd. Her eyes quickly found him in the far right corner his face twisted in obvious anguish. He didn't think she was coming, she realized in horror, and began screaming his name, pleading to whatever deity was in charge of her fate that she would be allowed this one wish. Still shouting his name, she began throwing her body violently through the crowd, uncaring of who she knocked out of her way in her attempt at reaching him.
3:32
She sat there on the floor, clutching her tear-soaked knees to her chest.
She didn't make it.
And he was gone.
Maybe it's not that funny, after all.
Part Two
May 22, 2003
"Did you hear?"
"Yes, I heard he sent an owl this morning."
"Really?"
"Yes, he just up and quit! No explanation! He was just given that award, too!"
"Seems highly suspicious if you ask me!"
"Did you see Hermione this morning? She looked half-dead, do you think….?"
XxX
May 26, 2004
"What in Salazar's sake happened out there, Hermione?! That was so incredibly foolish!
You cannot be out in the field if you can't even grasp the basic concept of following orders!"
"I wouldn't have had to use that Muggle if that idiot partner you saddled me with wasn't an absolute moron!"
"Dammit, Hermione, I haven't anyone else! Mason is all who's left and willing to even attempt working with you! You have single-handedly ran off five different Aurors over the last year! Green is still in St. Mungo's after his psychotic break. Travis is selling cakes in Diagon Alley-fucking top of his class and the quickest wand the department had seen in five years and he's been reduced to baking fucking cakes Hermione. Michaelson and Chambers both transferred to America after only a month with you. Let's not forget about Malfoy, who just disappeared into thin air. Poof, like magic; not one goddamn word in a year."
"Harry, just stop, I'll make it easy and simple for everyone. Fuck it all, I quit. I'll send in my resignation tonight." She rose quickly from the chair she had been sequestered in for the last hour. Listening to her best friend prattle on about how she dealt with incompetent partners would have been bearable. Hearing him mention Draco, hearing him allude to the fact it had been her who had chased him away-that had been the nail in the coffin.
"No, Hermione, that's not what I want. Just let me in, you've been so distant this last year. Wreckless and unfocused at work...what's going on?"
"Harry, I'm just burned out. I'm tired of saving the world, not when I can't even manage to save myself."
XxX
June 5th, 2004
"Happy birthday, Draco! Go on, make a wish."
"What more could I want?"
"Well, I could take off all my clothes?"
"This is true. Okay, I wish for Astoria to be completely naked right now."
"Draco! You can't say it out loud. It won't come true. That's the rules!"
"Right, sorry." He closed his eyes tight and thought of what he wanted most. Couldn't hurt to try, right? He brought his lips down to hover over the single candle, nestled in the obviously homemade cupcake Astoria had given him moments before, and blew the flickering flame out.
He watched as the beautiful brunette began to strip the material of her dress away from her willowy body and slowly make her way towards him.
"Wish granted," she murmured into his ear, sinking her naked body into his lap and brushing her bare chest against his as she leaned forward and captured his lips. Right before shutting his eyes and giving into her advances, he had hoped... for just a moment...
Nothing happened, though, and he couldn't stop it, couldn't stop the disappointment blooming in his chest.
Her eyes weren't brown and his wish had failed.
XxX
June 27th, 2004
She hadn't planned on quitting, hadn't planned on ignoring everyone's owls and persistent door knocking. She hadn't planned on eating her weight in chocolate every day and she certainly hadn't planned for her only source of liquid nourishment to be of the wine persuasion.
Yet here she was, brightest witch of her age indeed, covered in the chocolaty residue of her shame. Empty wrappers were scattered across her and the bathroom floor. She had attempted to take a bath. She hadn't had the energy the last two weeks and the smell of her body odor had driven her here in a drunken haze at three-thirty in the morning.
In a stroke of genius she had decided in lieu of being clean that crying on the floor and stuffing her face with sweets had been the better idea. Rubbing her throbbing temples, she took in a few deep breaths and immediately regretted doing so. The stench of her misery assaulted her nostrils and caused her already sensitive stomach to lurch.
"This is absolutely pathetic. I will not let this ruin me." She leaned over the large tub and turned on the water as hot as it would go.
XxX
July 21st, 2004
"Hermione, we need to talk! Open up!"
"Ginny?"
"Yes! Open the door for Merlin's sake! I need to tell you what my idiot brother has gone and done!"
Hermione padded barefoot across her living room and quickly unlocked and opened the door. A frantic and clearly frazzled Ginny Potter came scrambling in, dropping the mountains of shopping bags in her arms haphazardly around the flat. A few articles of clothing scattered across the floor when they fell from their perspective bags in all the chaos.
"Ginny! What in the world? You're making a huge mess!"
"PANSY PARKINSON!"
"...Yes, she was my healer a while back after the incident in Germany?"
"No, my brother, he's done gone and brought that pug-nosed Slytherin bitch to the family lunch today!"
"Ginny! For one, you saying 'My brother' isn't helping me here because you've got quite a few of those, and for two, Pansy is an incredibly nice person, you shouldn't dwell in the past. Learned that lesson the hard way."
"RON! It's Ron who's gone and joined the dark side and I highly doubt it. A snake can shed its skin all it wants but it's still the same underneath. You fed me that same line about someone being nice in regards to Malfoy, and look how that turned out."
"Pansy saved my life, Ginny. She's the lead healer at St. Mungo's despite her young age and she volunteers at the war orphanage every weekend. Give her a chance, alright? As for Malfoy, he wasn't a bad person and didn't leave for nefarious reasons so just drop it. It's been over a year and I'm tired of hearing about it."
"Well, I suppose I could try and give her a chance, but just one. She crosses me one time…"
"Yeah, yeah, you can bat bogey hex her all the way back to Hogwarts."
"Oh! Speaking of Hogwarts! Did you get the reunion invitation?"
"Yes, I don't see a point in a five-year reunion though. What in five years have they hoped we have accomplished?"
"I heard it's just a big interview pool. Several teachers are retiring at the end of the next school year and coincidentally most of our classmates are the best candidates to fill the posts."
"Maybe I should Floo McGonagall then. I'm in need of a new job."
"Harry's not mad at you, you know? He understands that sometimes people need to step away from the hero business. Even Ron quit a few months before you did to help George at the joke shop. He's just worried about you, we all are."
"I was too, but I think I'm getting a little better each day."
XxX
November 23rd, 2004
He stared at the elegant invitation in his hand, turning it over and over, struggling with rather or not to open it. He had been avoiding the blasted thing for months now. He would randomly seek it out upon occasion, always managing to barely slip a finger beneath the envelope's edge before quickly slamming it back into the confines of his work desk to be forgotten about until another day.
He needed the closure, though. He knew she would likely be there. He needed her to tell him to his face why he hadn't been good enough for her. He needed a proper goodbye in order to move on. Astoria had told him she loved him last night and all he could do was simply nod his head and hug her. The words were on the tip of his tongue but he couldn't say them. Couldn't mean them yet. She hadn't said anything to him about it since, but he knew she was hurt by his lack of a returned declaration. He really did want to love her...
Finally finding the courage, he broke the wax seal and removed the letter at last, letting out a chuckle upon seeing its contents. Not only was it the dreaded reunion invitation-it seemed that Slughorn was retiring and Draco was being offered the potions position. Before his passing, Snape had taught Draco quite a bit and he was more than qualified. It was certainly something to consider. He had grown quite bored of the Greengrass marketing firm.
A sudden loud rapping against the door to his private office jostled him from his current train of thought.
"Draco, are you in there?"
"Yes, I'm sorry, Tori, I forgot about tea. I'll be down in a minute."
XxX
December 25th, 2004
"Happy Christmas, Mione!"
"You made it!"
"You owe me five Galleons, Ronnie boy! I told you she'd show up!"
Hermione found herself being dragged through the door of the Burrow by several pairs of arms. Each set embraced her tightly and passed her on to the next pair. Their happiness and excitement was infectious. By the time she had made it through to the kitchen and had been fully embraced by each member of the family she was grinning from ear to ear. Her skin was aglow with a loving warmth she hadn't felt in quite awhile, not since...well, it had been far too long, of that she was sure.
"Hey, stranger."
"Hi, Harry."
Her dark-haired friend was set at the kitchen table, a mug of steaming cocoa clasped in his hands. She found herself a cup, pouring herself a generous amount of the chocolaty beverage before joining him. She took a seat in the chair facing him from across the table and let out a content sigh when the welcoming taste of the cocoa slipped past her lips for the first time.
"How have you been since..." Harry stammered out. She could see he was having trouble structuring his question so she decided to cut him some slack and answered before he fumbled it up.
"I've been okay, I can see now how much I needed to take a break. I've been in fight or flight mode since I was eleven. We aren't all cut from the same everlasting hero cloth as you are, Harry."
"Sometimes I wish I wasn't. I should've seen the signs. Shouldn't have pushed you so hard."
"It's not your fault. Not everything is dependent on your actions, Harry. As it happens, you're looking at Hogwarts' newest Transfiguration Teacher, and I couldn't be happier."
"That's bloody brilliant, 'Mione, that's way more suited to you than being an Auror was. Not to say you weren't amazing at that too, but you were too smart for us, always have been."
"Now I get to torture a whole new generation with my swotty ways."
For the first time since He left she found herself laughing and finally enjoying life. Perhaps there was something to this moving on thing after all.
XxX
February 25th, 2005
"Ron, they don't like me, what's the point?!"
"The point, Pans, is that I love you and I love my family. Percy is getting married today, and believe me not one person saw that coming. I want you there with me, and they will just have to deal. Where's all that Slytherin sass I fell in love with, huh? Don't let them bully you. They mean well but they come on strong. Show them how amazing you are and they will have no choice but to come around. After all, that's how you got me."
XxX
March 4th, 2005
"I'm most certainly not wearing that, Ginny, and for the last time, anything that can be described as plunging isn't happening!"
The feisty redhead pretended to not hear the pleas of the Golden Girl from inside her dressing room and proceeded to throw a few more risque pieces over the door. Her plan was to smother Hermione in all the flashy and trashy dresses before finally handing over the golden perfection she had found when they first got there. It was a bit out of Hermione's comfort zone, slinky and tight fitted, with a keyhole back and a low-dipping neckline. So she knew she needed to employ a different tactic in order to get her friend into the dress that was most definitely the winner.
"We have been here an hour! I'm tired of playing dress up, can't I just throw on some dress robes and call it a day? I'll be teaching there next term, so surely I shouldn't be in something so revealing!"
"No way, sister! You will be an elegant freaking cupcake not a dumpy strudel. Here, try this one, it'll look lovely with your skin tone and it shows some House pride."
"It's not my normal cup of tea, but it's the best so far and I'm ready to go, let's get it and grab some lunch."
Ginny chuckled to herself as Hermione emerged from the dressing room with the gold dress clutched in her hands.
"Okay! Lunch first, then shoes."
"Hang on a minute, no one said anything about shoes. Ginny! Get back here!"
XxX
May 18th, 2005
"Have you decided if you'll be attending yet?"
"Yes, I would like for us to go."
"What about McGonagall's offer?"
"I'm not sure yet, I figured I'd at least inquire about it once there. Will you be okay with me working at Hogwarts? I'm not sure what the living arrangements would be like, if the Floo will be set up, what company allowances would be if I need to remain on campus. It will be a big change for us regardless."
"While I'm not fond of the reunion idea, I know you've been absolutely bored working for Father and I love you. It's that simple Draco. I love you and want you to do what's right for you. I'll support you in whatever decision you make."
"You should write your sister and let her know. It's in a month and I'm sure you have some shopping to do. As much as I adore you, I'd rather not spend all day roaming the shops of Paris like the last time. Daphne is better acclimated to your spending prowess."
"Oh, you're no fun, but fine, I'll owl her this evening. You'll need a new suit as well but I don't really need you around for that."
XxX
June 7th, 2005
"Thanks for meeting me today, Hermione, I know you've been busy getting ready for your first term at Hogwarts, so I appreciate you taking the time to join me for lunch."
"Honestly, Pansy, I was glad for the invite. Everyone's been so busy lately and none of our schedules have synced, so everyone has stopped trying. I was in desperate need of some fresh air and fresh conversation."
"Well, as lovely as it is to see and chat with you and I really do want to chat about other things.I feel like I should perhaps make you aware of the fact that a certain someone will also be attending the reunion."
"Okay?"
" Daphne Greengrass, who was in our graduating class and a fellow housemate of mine, well we still talk from time to time. Last Saturday she and her husband had a small party and I was in attendance. She made mention of the fact that her sister would be coming to the upcoming reunion. Daphne's only seen her a few times over the last year or two; a recent shopping trip brought to light some interesting information. Apparently Astoria, that's Daphne's sister, will be the plus one of another housemate of mine."
"That's all very interesting, Pansy, but what has that got to do with…"
"It's Draco, her companion for the night will be Draco Malfoy and they have been dating for over a year now. I know you and he had a thing for a little while, and that it didn't end well."
"Wait, what did you say?"
"Don't worry, I never told anyone and don't plan on it. What happened between you is between you and it's been almost two years. But I would like to think we have become friends and I don't want you to be caught off guard and unprepared when you see him."
"You knew? He's coming back? Pansy, I can't breathe..."
"Easy there, just take in some deep breaths. That's it, in and out, slow and steady. Perfect now, just a few more, in and out. Better?"
"Well, that's incredibly embarrassing. I just had a panic attack at just the mere thought of him being there. How in the hell am I going to make it through a whole night of seeing him in the flesh? It's mandatory now that I've officially signed my contract. As of three hours ago I'm employed by Hogwarts. All teachers must be in attendance! And how the fuck do you know about us?!"
"I caught and eventually helped him sneak in to see you when his father attacked you. He was an absolute wreck. It wasn't hard to deduce his reasoning for such despair. I never brought it up when Ron and I first got together because I was honestly mad at you for breaking my best friend's heart. However, you were the first one of Ron's friends to accept me immediately and I know you are the reason Ginny and Molly actually gave me a chance after you told them off at Percy's wedding reception. I owe you and Slytherins always make good on their debts."
"He just left. He refused all my owls. Never returned my inquiries through other means. He made sure no one knew where to find him at all in an effort to cut me out of his life. I know I made mistakes, I know I kept him as my dirty little secret for far too long. Here's the real kicker, Pansy. I chose him. I showed up that day ready to make a commitment. I was seconds late, Pansy, seconds! He never gave me a chance to tell him. His heart wasn't the only one that stopped beating that day."
"Sweet Merlin, that's just...wow. He's only written me a few times since he left. Letting me know that you two had ended your relationship and how it had ended. Very briefly mentioning that he was moving to a different country and not returning. He didn't even tell me which one."
"So do you have any incredibly good looking single friends? If he can move on, so can I!"
"As a matter of fact, do you remember Theo Nott?"
XxX
June 19th, 2005
8:30 a.m
She hadn't slept for more than an hour before waking and beginning her pacing. She was so unsure of how she was supposed to interact with Draco. Ignore him completely? Say a casual hello and flee? Rip the clothes from his body and claim him as hers once again?
All were very viable options at the moment, as they warred inside her head, clouding her heart and chilling her flesh. She was, in short, an absolute fucking wreck.
She looked it as well. How was she supposed to even make an attempt at being human for the evening when she looked like an erumpents arse? Dark circles and pasty skin were definitely not going to stop Malfoy in his tracks and...
Wait, no she didn't want that, she needed to be stealthy. Avoid him at all cost and stick to three-word sentences, maybe five words tops, should she find herself unable to adhere to the avoidance plan.
She had a date, after all, and that's who she should be focused on.
10:30 a.m
"Pansy, I can't handle this."
"Just breathe, Hermione, we still going with plan A?"
"Yes, I think it best if I try and ignore him altogether, and you'll be there to steer me away. Just in case I get all Gryffindor-like and decide to be brave and try a foolish thing like saying hello."
"Right, but you're on your own after an hour. I'll then be dancing suggestively with my boyfriend and well on my way to being right and properly sloshed."
"An hour is perfect, enough time to make an appearance and get out of there. It's a solid plan."
"Hermione, are you sure? You know, what if he knew you came to meet him that day, maybe?"
"Maybe what, Pansy? We forget the last two years? He forgets his new shiny girlfriend and I forget he moved on and left me? That he never gave me a chance before now to tell him how much I love him and how desperately I fought to get to him that day?! I can't do it, I won't."
"How much you love him?"
"Loved, I meant loved."
2:30 p.m
"Astoria, please stop fretting about, you're going to wrinkle your dress!"
"Daphne, I don't give a damn about my dress!"
"What's got your wand in a knot?"
"I don't want Draco to go tonight, I know she will be there and I know what will happen if they see each other. It's taken me so long and if we go tonight,I'll lose him"
"What are you on about? Who will? Is he cheating on you?! That slimy bastard, I'll cut his prick off!"
"Whoa, hang on Daph, he's not cheating on me. An ex of his will be there, not that anyone would know about that. He doesn't even know I know."
"Astoria, you worry too much. You're the one who has that huge rock on your finger and will be the one being called Lady Malfoy in a few months. An ex is nothing to wrinkle your pretty face over."
"This one is."
"How do you even know about her, anyway?"
"He still says her name in his sleep."
7:30 p.m
Holding tightly to the railing of the stairs as she descended into the lavishly decorated Great Hall, Hermione found herself focusing too hard on remembering how to breathe. Her date, Theo, had his hand on the small of her back, guiding her down and helping her with the one foot in front of the other portion of the evening.
Upon reaching the bottom, they were greeted by Pansy and Ron, who ushered them towards one of the cozy tables that were scattered across the vast hall. Each was decorated with a House-themed centerpiece; theirs was Ravenclaw. A small eagle flew around an exact replica of the Ravenclaw tower, the blue and bronze banner proudly waving despite the lack of wind.
"You look amazing, Hermione, and Theo, aren't you quite dashing!"
"Thanks, Pansy, you're looking gorgeous as usual."
"Thanks, Pans, you look beautiful as well. I see a few of my fellow friends I've not spoken to since graduation, and I'm going to head over and say hello if that's alright? I hate to abandon you so soon, but I know we aren't actually on a date here so..."
"Theo, really, no need to explain, save me a few dances so it at least looks like we are together and I'm not available for appearance's sake. I'm really not in the mood for being pawed at because I'm one of the only single witches here."
"Sounds like a plan. I know you weren't looking to spend much time here, so I'll come find you in twenty minutes, and we can commence with making sure you look taken."
She chuckled to herself as Theo took off towards Blaise Zabini. Pansy had meant well with the set up. Truth be told, Theo was an incredibly handsome man. He was rich without being a snob, funny without being vulgar, and he was even highly intelligent. Only one hang up had prevented Hermione from entertaining the idea of Theo. He was undeniably and unequivocally gay, a fact most were not privy to. She only had this bit of information as she had overheard a heated quarrel between his lover and him when she had arrived at his home a tad earlier than expected.
"Well that's a little rude."
"Pansy, it's not that big of a deal, really."
"Yes it is! He is supposed to be your distraction for the evening!"
"I do believe in order for me to strike Mr Nott's fancy I would need a deeper voice, an Adam's apple and, oh yes, a penis."
"That's absurd, he's not, I mean, he can't be? Can he?"
"It's not, and yes, he is. I overheard him and his boyfriend arguing over Theo taking me tonight instead of him."
"Blimey, I'm sorry. I thought he would've been a great date."
7:45 P.M
"Hermione, just calm down, remember, deep breaths. He hasn't moved since he arrived and he's not made one look in this direction."
"I know! What is wrong with me? I can't keep my eyes off him and that skinny little tart of his. I mean really, hasn't she heard of food before?! Merlin, I've turned into Ginny."
"Hermione! She's a sweet girl, really. It's obvious you're not as over him as you thought. If it's too much, maybe you should go ahead and retire for the evening?"
"Yes, I think you're right. I'll see you Thursday for lunch, give my goodbyes to everyone, will you?"
"Of course. I am sorry, Hermione."
"Me too."
8:00 p.m
"Running away as usual, I see."
She hadn't anticipated this. Her heart immediately began pounding, her breathing slowed and she froze mid-step, inwardly reprimanding herself for being foolish to think she could've escaped him completely. She had retreated into the Transfiguration room to retrieve some lesson notes, and now she was stuck. Draco was casually leaning in the doorway with an amused smirk on his handsome face. She could see the fury in his silvery gaze though, and she audibly swallowed. She knew war was imminent, and she found herself slightly relieved that it was finally happening. A strange sensation flooded through her, and all fear of confrontation left her body. Setting the papers down on the desk, she straightened her posture, squared her jaw and fixed a hard glare on the Slytherin intruder. He watched her with an anticipatory gleam and pushed off the doorway, making his way down the aisle towards her, stopping a few feet away, effectively blocking her way from leaving.
"Fuck you, Draco, running away is your MO if I remember correctly."
"That's rubbish and you know it."
"A little over two years now, yeah? For no reason other than the fact that you were a coward who couldn't face me!"
"I didn't want to stay somewhere I wasn't wanted! I am not a fucking coward, and I didn't run. I left and started over, I'm happy now, damnit. I'm engaged, and far better off without you."
She felt the air leave her lungs when the word engaged hit her ears. Had it been so easy for him? Had she misunderstood what they had? It didn't matter. He was someone else's someone now.
"Then don't you think your fiance should be the one commanding your attention at the moment?"
" I want to hear you say it! I need to know why I wasn't enough for you, Hermione."
"You don't deserve a damn thing from me! You lost the right when you refused all my letters!"
"I knew I deserved better than what you had to offer, but I was weak and foolish. If I had read your words and you had asked me to stay, I would've come running back, would have still been your secret despite the fact it would have killed me eventually."
The tension in the room was suffocating. She could feel the anger beginning to boil over, she wasn't going to let him play the victim here. He had been just as guilty in this, had been the one who pursued her, suggested the idea of being secretive to begin with. He issued the ultimatum, ran away, was the one who didn't give her a chance.
"I did fucking show up that day, and if you had just read the damn letters you would've known this!"
"Lies!"
"Why Draco? Why would I lie about this! Check, damnit! See for yourself, see how I fought to get to you, only to miss you by fucking seconds! Check me! Do it! I'm giving you permission, damnit! Just say the blasted spell!"
"Fine! Legilimens!"
She brought the painful memory to the surface and watched as he lived through every moment of that day. The minute memory Draco faded from her sight in the records room, she threw her shield up and forced the real Draco out. She refused to let him see what had become of her after his departure.
They stood there for a few moments, the room eerily silent save their thundering heartbeats and ragged breathing.
"You got your answer even if it's not what you expected, so just leave me be. I'm sure Astoria is looking for you. It's her you want, after all."
She moved past him and made an attempt at a hasty exit, almost making it to the door when she felt his hands on her waist. Grabbing at her roughly and spinning them around, he shoved her hard against the wall, using his solid body to keep her pinned in place. Lowering his gaze, he watched his hands move slowly up her body, lingering on her heaving chest and lightly grazing her breasts as he explored the soft expanse of exposed skin, before finally tracing the curve of her throat and sliding his fingers into her loosened curls. Her breathing hitched when he finally pierced her with his lust-filled eyes and yanked hard on the strands of hair sliding through his fingers.
"It's always been you."
He didn't give her a chance to think on his statement before his lips descended upon hers. She tried briefly to push against him in an effort to escape before succumbing to his control. She parted her lips eagerly to let him in, moaning into his mouth, becoming intoxicated by the flavor of the firewhiskey that still lingered on his tongue. They remained that way for a few moments, furiously tasting the other, letting the world around them slip away until all that remained was them.
He shifted his weight so that his firm erection pressed into her, forcing her back to grind against the rough surface of the wall. She let out a wince in response, causing him to release her lips for a moment, breaking the intense spell that had been woven around them. He pressed his forehead against hers and loosened his hands from her hair, placing them on her waist instead.
"I need you to say it, Hermione, you have to say you want this, want me."
"You're engaged, Draco."
"Say the words and I'm yours, only yours, always yours. Say you want me, want us. Please, Hermione, just say it."
"I want you, all of you, all the time. I never stopped loving you Draco, will never stop."
His body reacted immediately to her declaration of love, gripping the bottom of her dress he jerked it up past her thighs, a loud ripping noise permeating the silent classroom as the tight material gave way beneath the force of his actions. The sudden lack of fabric allowed him to settle between her legs, and she instinctively brought them up and around his waist, letting out a loud moan at the feel of his hardness against her core. He sucked her bottom lip between his teeth and bit down hard. Conveying in that one move, the primal hunger that was coursing through every fiber of his being; the need to take her became all encompassing, leaving no time for romance.
Using his hands to cup her supple arse and hold her tight to him, he quickly maneuvered them back towards the large and almost bare desk located in the back of the classroom. Once there, he made quick work of what little papers had been occupying her desk and laid her down upon it. Drawing his wand from the holster beneath his suit jacket, he quickly vanished their clothing, causing both to let out a loud hiss at the sudden contact of their naked flesh. Their hands and lips suddenly were everywhere; touching, tasting, and teasing each other into a frenzied heat.
"I can't wait any longer. I need to be inside you. Now!"
A low guttural sound of pure ecstasy spilled forth from Hermione as Draco sank his rigid length into her awaiting depths, her arousal soaked walls giving no resistance to his furious probing. There was no buildup, no gradual increase of his thrusting hips. Just like that he was fucking her, rough and unbridled.
Hungrily he swallowed down every whimper and moan that fell from her lips with his own as he pounded relentlessly into her velvety heat, harder and harder and harder, until she finally exploded in pleasure. The intensity of her orgasm pulsating violently around him forced his own needed release, and he emptied his hot seed into her awaiting womb. Draco collapsed down atop of her, and they both tried desperately to regain a normal breathing pattern. They remained there in each other's arms for a few moments, enjoying the feel of their fingers tracing random patterns along flushed skin. Becoming lost in the sound of their raging heartbeats as they tried to come down from their orgasmic euphoria.
It was selfish, she knew it was. Stealing him away from another, like a petty thief, under the cover of night. He was hers though, and he always would be, she would be damned if she lost him again.