They always leave me out, you know. I was as much a part of the group as
the rest of them were. But no one knows that nowadays. I'm the one that
they always skip over. The name written in fine print. The sideliner, the
extra. The one you always forget. Hi, I'm invisible, nice to meet you, and
you are.? You ask any prankster in Hogwarts, they know the names of the
marauders. I can guarantee it. Not me, though. All of the marauders, yes.
All but one. All but me.
In the history books, they're all there, all except for me. The rest of the marauders, indeed, are doing quite handsomely in the eyes of the public.
Oh sure, its not like no one knows my name, or anything like that. I'm just as famous if not more so then the rest of them. I'm not worried about fame really, that's not what I'm talking about. I feel no need to be recognised, I am happy just the way I am. No, it's not that. The way I am recognised by the Magical public itself is what annoys me. You see, I'm not famous in my own right. Not really. I'm not famous for what I want to be known for, if anything. Indeed, my demise and what I made is famous, but not me. There are many things that proclaim my actions as great, but there is nothing that proclaims ME as great. Not in the way I want to be.
I hate them all sometimes, you know. Hate them with a passion. Which surprises everyone, including me. Probably you too. After all, no one hates the marauders. No one except the Dark Side, right? Well that's wrong. I mean, look at me. I'm not on the dark side. It would be pretty ironic if I was, but I'm not. Hell, I was one of them. Just as much a prankster in my own right. I helped them all out. This is the thanks I get for it. Well, let me tell you now, it's not much.
Most of the time I don't, though. Hate them, that is. They're still my friends, no matter what. They miss me too, in their own little ways. They just don't realise what they're doing to me. Oh, if only they could see me now, how sorry they would all be. I think about it sometimes. I have a lot of time to think. A lot of time to do anything I like, really. You get a lot of spare time around here.
Might have something to do with the way I met them. When I met them, I had no friends, and I mean none. So I suppose it was that primitive teenaged need that all humans have that bound me to them more then anything. Stuck us together like superglue, which would stick together no matter what the situation may be. I had somewhere to go, you know? A place to eat lunch. People to laugh with. Friends that would save you a seat. Someone that remembered your birthday, backed your favourite sports team, knew your favourite colour. For once, I was respected, and I loved them for that. That's one of the reasons I never left them, I guess. I was too scared, and too indebted. Even though people might have accepted me then, I knew, deep inside, that none of them would have taken me in back them. So I stayed. Blind, but happy.
In spite of my independent nature, though, I never realised how much they controlled me, you know? How much they caged me, and made my decisions for me. It was a protective thing, of course, they never meant any harm about it, and it was as much my fault for not realising it, as it was theirs. It was only when we were out of school, and I was on my own, for once (even after school, we were inseparable). I walked into a coffee store, alone. When I went to order, I just stood their looking like a goldfish. Because I realised that it was the first time in over 8 years that I had ordered, or picked my own coffee.
This stretched to everything though. Not only coffee. They even decided whom I would date, and whom I would marry. Not that I minded that last bit, of course. They picked the right person, and we were both desperately in love. The only thing that did bug me about it was that I never actually had a say in the matter. All I was told was the date, really. It was all organised for me.
Through all this thinking, though, I still haven't lost this. affection for them. This ultimate friendship that could never be broken. I suppose that when we vowed friends forever, we meant it. All of us. We had such good time together that I can't bear to break it apart, not really. Not even in my heart of hearts, where no one might ever know it was there. Because, ultimately, all friends have faults. Some more then others, but I have never, in my life, found one person that can admit to possessing a perfect friendship. It just doesn't happen, and that's the way that life goes.
That no matter what, no matter how many trials we go through, how much distrust tears us apart, and how the years and miles separate us, we will still be friends. That is conclusive.
That is something that I will never let go of. Now and forever, I will always have them as friends. Forever and beyond.
In the history books, they're all there, all except for me. The rest of the marauders, indeed, are doing quite handsomely in the eyes of the public.
Oh sure, its not like no one knows my name, or anything like that. I'm just as famous if not more so then the rest of them. I'm not worried about fame really, that's not what I'm talking about. I feel no need to be recognised, I am happy just the way I am. No, it's not that. The way I am recognised by the Magical public itself is what annoys me. You see, I'm not famous in my own right. Not really. I'm not famous for what I want to be known for, if anything. Indeed, my demise and what I made is famous, but not me. There are many things that proclaim my actions as great, but there is nothing that proclaims ME as great. Not in the way I want to be.
I hate them all sometimes, you know. Hate them with a passion. Which surprises everyone, including me. Probably you too. After all, no one hates the marauders. No one except the Dark Side, right? Well that's wrong. I mean, look at me. I'm not on the dark side. It would be pretty ironic if I was, but I'm not. Hell, I was one of them. Just as much a prankster in my own right. I helped them all out. This is the thanks I get for it. Well, let me tell you now, it's not much.
Most of the time I don't, though. Hate them, that is. They're still my friends, no matter what. They miss me too, in their own little ways. They just don't realise what they're doing to me. Oh, if only they could see me now, how sorry they would all be. I think about it sometimes. I have a lot of time to think. A lot of time to do anything I like, really. You get a lot of spare time around here.
Might have something to do with the way I met them. When I met them, I had no friends, and I mean none. So I suppose it was that primitive teenaged need that all humans have that bound me to them more then anything. Stuck us together like superglue, which would stick together no matter what the situation may be. I had somewhere to go, you know? A place to eat lunch. People to laugh with. Friends that would save you a seat. Someone that remembered your birthday, backed your favourite sports team, knew your favourite colour. For once, I was respected, and I loved them for that. That's one of the reasons I never left them, I guess. I was too scared, and too indebted. Even though people might have accepted me then, I knew, deep inside, that none of them would have taken me in back them. So I stayed. Blind, but happy.
In spite of my independent nature, though, I never realised how much they controlled me, you know? How much they caged me, and made my decisions for me. It was a protective thing, of course, they never meant any harm about it, and it was as much my fault for not realising it, as it was theirs. It was only when we were out of school, and I was on my own, for once (even after school, we were inseparable). I walked into a coffee store, alone. When I went to order, I just stood their looking like a goldfish. Because I realised that it was the first time in over 8 years that I had ordered, or picked my own coffee.
This stretched to everything though. Not only coffee. They even decided whom I would date, and whom I would marry. Not that I minded that last bit, of course. They picked the right person, and we were both desperately in love. The only thing that did bug me about it was that I never actually had a say in the matter. All I was told was the date, really. It was all organised for me.
Through all this thinking, though, I still haven't lost this. affection for them. This ultimate friendship that could never be broken. I suppose that when we vowed friends forever, we meant it. All of us. We had such good time together that I can't bear to break it apart, not really. Not even in my heart of hearts, where no one might ever know it was there. Because, ultimately, all friends have faults. Some more then others, but I have never, in my life, found one person that can admit to possessing a perfect friendship. It just doesn't happen, and that's the way that life goes.
That no matter what, no matter how many trials we go through, how much distrust tears us apart, and how the years and miles separate us, we will still be friends. That is conclusive.
That is something that I will never let go of. Now and forever, I will always have them as friends. Forever and beyond.