GIVE ME LOVE

Summary: A relationship that's not really a relationship but still so much more than they've ever had. Collection of loosely connected oneshot set some time before Humbug (6x11).

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Author's Note: Don't get me wrong – I'm thrilled about the Deeks/Kensi storyline this season but part of me still misses their chemistry from the earlier seasons, before you could tell if the writers were actually going to let them get together or not. So. Here it is. Tags and inserts to different episodes up until Humbug. Titles taken from Ed Sheeran's Give Me Love because it just fits so damn well. This first part is set somewhere in early season 2.

#1 give me love like never before

When Deeks walks into the precinct this morning, it feels almost like it's his first day. Since he usually comes in between covers at odd hours, he's used to the place being almost deserted. Now it's 10 a.m and it is buzzing with activity.

He nods in greeting to a few people in the elevator but no one tries to make any kind of conversation. Yep, doing long term covers doesn't do much for the "brotherhood"… The realization is not new but today he feels oddly okay about it. He steps off the elevator on his floor and takes in the still familiar sounds of the busy department.

"Ey, Deeks. Heard you're hooking up with the Feds now, huh?" A loud voice comes floating from the break room and Deeks reluctantly makes his way over.

"Garrett, nice to see you, too. Yeah, you know, one gets access to all those federal skeletons hiding in several different closets… Couldn't say no to that," he replies as casually as possible, ignoring the Garrett's thinly veiled contempt. Deeks knows he wasn't really the most popular kid around the precinct before he crossed paths with NCIS and now the word's probably out that it's more than just being the temp... Loyalty and the brotherhood within the force apparently only goes one way.

Thankfully, Garrett soon runs out of possible insults and Deeks manages to escape the break room with his good mood fairly intact. Maybe it's because he's better things to do now than dodging insults from fellow officers or making up yet another scumbag alias.

He likes his new team. And especially his new partner. Kensi Blye is nothing like any detective he's come across with the LAPD, male or female.

After her initial comment about him being the best LAPD could do (which wasn't even close to being the worst thing he's ever overheard) he's learned more about how she operates. And most importantly that his very reliable instincts tell him that despite everything he can trust her.

Deeks makes a quick stop by his rarely used desk, grabs the last of his reports to finish up and then makes a beeline for Bates' office. On any other day, he avoids the Captain if he can, but he feels unusually confident today. The air in the precinct is easier to breathe, time doesn't seem to stand still as it usually does. And for once, he's not annoyed or downright angry with his supervisor.

"Well well, look who's here. The prodigal son." Bates' words are not dripping with sarcasm like Garrett's. At least his boss respects him and his work. Of course he does, it makes him look good, Deeks thinks as he takes a seat across Bates.

"Yeah, had to pick up a few things. Things here okay around here?"

"Well, Feds are snooping up my detectives but other than that - just peachy," Bates grumbles and Deeks grins. He can only guess Bates' perplexity and annoyance at having Henrietta Lange snatching one of the few people in the LAPD with extensive experience of deeper covers.

Yet Deeks can't really feel guilty. He can feel he's doing something good. He feels useful (most of the time). The team has been unusually easy to work with even if they have their quirks and it's clear that they're lone wolves all of them.

"They partnering you up?"

"Yep… Well, sort of. Her last partner was killed in the line of duty. We're just making it work 'til they find a new one," he explains even if he prays that he won't be replaced anytime soon. He doesn't mind being the fifth wheel. It's not new to him either but not an option if he can help it. But he's technically just a liaison officer, still very much LAPD, and he can understand if the mysterious Henrietta Lange prefers complete partner pairs consisting only of people with the proper training.

He expects some kind of retort from his boss but only finds Bates rising his eyebrows.

"What?"

"You got a partner? A woman?"

"Uh yeah? Something wrong with that?" He knows Bates is old school but at least he's come as far as accepting his female detectives as just as competent.

Bates just eyes him for a moment. "No, nothing wrong. It's just that I seem to recall..- You know what, never mind. I get it."

The knowing look Bates gives him suddenly makes Deeks feel a little bit uncomfortable. Even if he's out on the field most of the time, he knows what words travel through this department. He knows it's common knowledge about certain boundaries he used to have a tendency to cross. Key word being used to. Past tense.

He knows he told Bates that IF ever was to partner up again, it would not be with a woman. Preferably he wouldn't have to partner up ever again. He'd been honest. Bates knew about Traynor. About earlier mishaps too. So yeah, maybe Deeks can see the slight irony in him partnering up with Kensi without a fuss. And maybe he's a teeny tiny bit…intrigued by her in a way that he shouldn't be. Not this soon... Not like this. At least he knows that this time, it's nothing he should take seriously.

Because he always seem to do this. Because he's Marty Deeks. Seemingly falls for inappropriate women. Acts on emotion a little bit too easily. He just needs to compartmentalize better. Last time he did this, he was in a dark place. And Jess paid the price. He's not hurting another woman who happens to come across him. Who gets him forced onto them. And with his history and view on romantic relationships, he's not really the one to make the best decisions regarding this kind of thing.

So Deeks just shrugs, pretends to not pick up Bates' hint. But he knows his boss can see right through him. But at least Bates is one of those guys who doesn't push and for once, Deeks is grateful for his boss' tendency of shrugging things off.

"Whatever you say, kid. Don't do anything unusually stupid out there, okay?"

Deeks nods and shakes the older man's hand before stepping out of the office. But as he walks through the precinct, he can't seem to shake the feeling of discomfort at Bates' implication. Yes, he has made some stupid decisions, especially when it comes to the women in his life. He's not proud of how he has treated many of them, both under cover and as himself. Being loyal and putting duty before everything isn't really conducive to forming strong personal relationships.

But he's not going to fall for Kensi Blye, not like that, despite what Bates seems to think he knows. Deeks is also pretty sure he's not even emotionally able to ever fall for someone in that true love happily ever after way, no matter how alluring it might be to give in and believe in it. Even if he and Kensi have figured things out now and even if she's nothing like anyone he's ever come across before… No. It's just stupid. Initial attraction (because come on, no one can deny she's doing really well in the looks and sharp witty comebacks department…). That's all it is. Nothing more.

He's just going to wait it out. It will go away. He doesn't do long term gigs if it's not an undercover op. His aliases may hold up for months on end but the Marty Deeks charade just doesn't. He knows that. It's all bound to come apart eventually.

As he reaches his car, his phone pings with a new incoming text message. Speak of the devil, he thinks as he sees Kensi's name flash across the screen along with a threat of bodily harm if he keeps avoiding the reports for the case they wrapped up last night.

Despite everything, he feels a grin stretch across his face at her comment and can practically see a matching, reluctant one on her face as he ignores her threat and replies with a promise of buying the first round of beer at tonight's team celebration of yet another successful op.

He tosses the phone onto the dashboard, pulls down his shades and maneuvers the car out into the busy LA traffic. So maybe there is something about Kensi that he's not ready to brush off and ignore yet. Something that keeps him on his toes and maybe even a little bit stupidly hopeful. For what exactly, he doesn't really know. Maybe just a place... A spot he's expected to fill. Where he would be missed if absent.

But tonight he will let her dry sense of humor and endless teasing make him laugh. His new team will go out for drinks and he will make inappropriate flirty comments at her, make Sam and Callen shake their heads and mutter under their breaths that he's "so asking for it".

It's just because it's new, he tells himself. The edge, this thrill, whatever it is, will eventually go away. He's certain of it. It always does.

In this case it has to. Because if it doesn't, he's in trouble. Big trouble. Again.

But as he parks outside OSP fifteen minutes later, his mood involuntarily picking up again, he can't help but think that he already is.

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