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Can't tell you how thrilled I am to be writing the my third story for Rick and Carrie! I'm excited to get my ideas out of my imagination to be read and enjoyed by so many! If you're interested in character pictures and sneak peaks then head on over to Walking Dead Fan Fiction . com for a hint of what is to come (warning, there be minor spoilers there!)

Please do read a review, I love my new OFC and I can't wait to hear your thoughts on her. Thanks to all!

Saturday 19th July

An hour in and the welcome party was in full swing, the residents of Alexandria having gone all out to welcome the five outsiders who were in attendance. With the exception of those on watch the entire community had turned up for the evening, bringing with them an abundance of food and drink the likes of which the outsiders hadn't seen for years. Music played from the church's speaker system, softly so as to not be heard outside the walls, while children were fluttering about playing, enjoying the wide selection of food they were allowed to indulge in. Like everyone's did, their gaze constantly fell upon the outsiders, the people who had apparently spent the last six days acclimating to the community.

Maintaining an outward appearance of contentment and extroversion, Lana clutched her ice cold beer and brought it to her lips, the cool taste of the alcohol soothing her. To the many who cast their eyes towards her she seemed confident and carefree, eager to meet and get to know everyone, while on the inside she was nervous and apprehensive. She and her group had been here for almost a week, and yet she was constantly on alert, waiting for something to happen. Any minute now something was going to go terribly wrong, it always did. Any minute now…

She cast her eyes around the crowded church, still trying to take it all in. It felt strange to be surrounded by so many people, particularly those were were at ease and relaxed, completely care free. The wooden pews had been pushed against one wall to make room, the majority of people mingling in the centre with the exception of that one guy who had tried to light up the dance floor. His bad hair and embarrassing dance moves didn't win him any supporters, only a sympathetic friend who had joined him for one song and then implored him to stop when it ended.

Tara.

Repeating the sympathetic friend's name and committing it to memory, Lana looked around the crowded church again, casting her eyes over the people she recognised while repeating their names in her mind. At the same time she looked at each one of her own people, counting them in her head as if taking attendance. The relative safety of Alexandria had not yet hit home for her…she wasn't even sure if she'd slept through the night yet. Every time she lay down and closed her eyes the fight for survival was still there, the sudden surges of adrenaline still seizing her. She could not yet relax, she could not yet let her guard down.

Sticking close with Sonja and Vetor she made the rounds of the church and engaged with people, answering their questions and listening to their introductions. Assimilating into this community was going to take a little while that was for sure, for although many of them came across as very capable and self-aware, some did not. It was immediately apparent which of the Alexandrian's had been here since the very start, though judging by what Aaron and Daryl had told her on the journey here those people had come a long way.

As the leader of her small group, most people's interest and questions seemed to be directed to her, not that she had to speak much. Vetor and Sonja answered for her, giving her the opportunity to gauge these people, and to look around for one in particular. She was glad she didn't have to do much talking, for as if she needed to draw more attention to herself. God, what she wouldn't give to meet another Australian, to hear a voice that sounded like her own. It was bad enough that people noticed her for her face and body, but it was the accent that made her stand out like a sore thumb. Some American's loved her accent, always begging her to say annoying catch phrases from Crocodile Dundee, whereas it irritated others. Either way, it was just another reminder that even within her own group, Lana was an outsider.

Keeping up with the conversation and contributing only as necessary, Lana kept her eyes flittering about the room, still looking around for that one person in particular. She wasn't just here to meet people and get drunk, though the latter had its appeal…she had a goal in mind, something she needed to start working at. It was a task only for her, one that fell to her as the leader regardless of whether or not she called the shots. Although she couldn't see him, she did catch a glimpse of someone close to him…the kid.

What was that kid's name?

From the corner of her eye she watched him, not surprised to see he was sticking close to the woman whose name she also struggled to recall. Michelle? Those two were all but joined at the hip tonight, the kid staying by her side wherever they went. Frankly Lana didn't blame him for sticking close to someone he obviously trusted. Losing an eye was probably quite the blow, and was a likely explanation as to why she had only seen him twice in the six days she had been here. She had caught a glimpse of him sitting on the front porch at his house, and then at the church tonight. He didn't seem to get out much, though she couldn't tell if that was by choice or by restriction.

Carl, she thought to herself in satisfaction. That's the kid's name.

Carl was one of the names that brought slightly hushed tones, the Alexandrian's often talking about him as though he was still on his deathbed. A lot of gossip had been shared, but despite that not one word was said against the kid, and it sounded like his near death encounter one month ago had elevated him to some kind of angelic status. At least that's the way it seemed for all but one, for Lana distinctly remembered overhearing someone calling him a cyclops, not that the insult had stood for long. The sour faced teen who made the comment was swiftly yelled at by the long haired girl he was sitting with, the same girl who then walked away from him altogether. Though she didn't know him at all, Lana was somewhat satisfied to see that the kid looked embarrassed and ashamed of what he has said. It definitely seemed like there was some history there, the story of which was slowly unfolding in dribs and drabs of whispered gossip.

It was with disappointment that she saw Carl and the other woman leaving now, despite having only been there for a short while. They had arrived late and were now making an early departure, and from what she had deduced he still wasn't in the best of health. He'd been struck down with infection lately, necessitating more supply runs for Glenn and his crew. Keeping that in mind, Lana knew they were preparing for another run, preparing to depart the following afternoon. Deanna had assigned Lana and some of her group to the run crew, citing low numbers and the impending birth of Glenn's first child, but had been adamant she didn't have to join up immediately. Depending on whether or not she blew her chances tonight she thought she might join them. Vetor would protest, telling her that participating would mean she was starting to assimilate here, that she was getting comfortable when she shouldn't be…maybe he was right.

With her first beer of the night finished, Lana politely excused herself from the group she was with, wondering if there really was enough for each person to be rationed two. As she passed by Vetor he reached out and touched her arm, looking at her with the intensity she was intimately familiar with. He gestured to the far end of the church, silently reminding her of what she needed to do…as if she needed reminding at all. Pulling her arm away she continued on, needing the second drink. She was sure of herself, she knew what men liked and how to get their attention, but something told her this wasn't going to be as easy as usual.

At the drinks table she deposited the empty beer bottle into the appropriate rubbish bin. Like many other things in Alexandria, the bottle would be rinsed and kept, the residents having found many ingenious methods of reuse. Looking into the large eski of ice she happily took another, still surprised by its abundance. This was something she was still struggling to get used to after six days here. Although Olivia was strict with her rations, there was enough for everyone to eat. Every night so far she had gone to bed with a full stomach, not the hunger pains that often plagued her group.

Stepping back from the drinks table so it was easier to go unnoticed, Lana scoped the far side of the church and set her eyes onto certain people, having already ascertained who might pose a threat to her and her group's plans. There was Abraham whose crude humour and boisterous laugh aside was not a man to be messed with, and Sasha who said very little but seemed to listen a lot, her eyes constantly calculating and thinking, planning for the worst. Then there was Daryl, who despite his generosity in bringing Lana and her group to the community was also not a man to be crossed. She could see already the fierce loyalty that shone in his eyes with every word he spoke about his people, every waking moment a testament to them.

Rosita was on the other side of the church, and Lana knew better than to misjudge her based on her apparent friendliness. Already she harboured some serious mistrust in that woman, and with good reason too. Barely an hour after moving her people into the townhouse Deanna had assigned to them did she find Rosita lurking in the living room, trying to evade detection when she was clearly caught somewhere she wasn't meant to be. She made some stupid excuse about looking for an earring she had lost, but in her pocket Lana could see the outline of a small screw driver. At first she worried that the woman was deranged, that she had been lurking there in the living room to attack one of them, but an instant later she plucked a hoop earring from the floor and quickly departed, leaving Lana no valid reason to protest.

It was her mistrust of these people that drove her to break into Deanna's home office and steal her box of video tapes, easily gaining access to them thanks to everyone's habit of leaving their doors unlocked. Taking the box back to her place she hid away in her bedroom to watch the video interviews, wanting to gain a greater insight into the people who she expected to stand in the way of her plans, but there was one interview that captured her attention the most. Moving a little further around the church Lana finally set her eyes on the man she had been looking for, the one who was going to be the focus of her attention that evening. Rick Grimes, Alexandria's co-leader, stood at the far end of the church with a beer in hand and a relaxed smile on his face.

It had taken her well over a minute of watching the interview to realise who it was, to make the connection to the man who had greeted her group at the gate six days prior. That man had been barefoot and in track pants, so surprised by their arrival he still had a butterfly clip in his hair and finger paint on his hands. On the other hand the man on the video tape had been rough and intimidating, his stare one of cold suspicion. That's what had gotten Lana the most about his video interview, his eyes. The light blue colour seemed piercing against the contrast of his dirty skin and wild hair, and even on video tape it felt like they might look right into your soul, seeing a person for what they really were.

Rick had also been present at her interview, minus the hair clip and finger paint. He stood behind Deanna with his arms folded across his chest and his face set in a scowl, and he said nothing. From the brief day of travelling with Daryl and Aaron she had come to prepare herself for the fact that Rick wouldn't likely welcome her group's arrival, and that definitely seemed to be the case. As the interview progressed Lana kept looking over at him, wondering why he bothered being there if he wasn't going to ask her something. It wasn't until the end that Deanna deferred to him, their comfortable conversation lapsing as they often did. As silence fell she turned to him expectantly, and it was then he came forward. He had asked her three questions, ones that Aaron had warned her to be prepared for, and that Daryl had warned her to answer truthfully, no matter what.

He seemed satisfied with her answers, unconcerned by the half dozen people she had killed and her reasons why. As their leader Lana was the last of her group to be interviewed, and no doubt Rick had already made up half his mind about her before they spoke a single word. Apparently she and the others had said and done the right things, for he curtly welcomed her to Alexandria before leaving. Following that she hadn't seen him for days, and for someone who supposedly shared leadership of the community he didn't seem to do a lot of leading. Although perhaps her expectations of him were too high…the kid Carl was his son.

Looking at Rick now, Lana studied him from a distance, taking in as much about him as she could. Being only the third time she had actually laid eyes on him she knew only what she had heard through gossip and rumours, though the information rendered by Aaron and Daryl was infinitely more trustworthy. Back in the old world Rick had been a cop, and had been his group's leader from almost the very beginning of the outbreak. Not one of his people seemed to have a bad word to say about him, though Lana was sure that if they did they wouldn't be sharing it with her. Either way she detected a fierce sense of loyalty among him and his group, one it seemed the rest of the Alexandrian's had begun to develop too.

Tonight Rick seemed as casual and at ease as everyone else, though the way his hand often drifted to the handle of his Colt indicated that just like she, he was on constant alert. Nevertheless he chatted animatedly with those around him, laughing at a joke Carter had made…judging from the jokes she had heard from him earlier Rick was laughing out of politeness. Lana braced herself with a generous sip of beer, figuring this might be a good time to make her way on over. He was comfortable and at ease, but more importantly he was surrounded by his guy friends. If he was like most men he'd be quietly pleased to have a woman showing interest in him, but particularly if it was in front of other men.

But just as she was about to start over there Lana stopped, seeing her place had been taken by someone else. Out of nowhere appeared a woman with shoulder length blonde hair, one who she immediately recognised as Carrie. Given the family's reclusiveness it had taken days for Lana to learn that the community's leader had a son and daughter, let alone a wife.

No, she corrected herself. Girlfriend.

There were no wedding rings on either of their hands, that had been easy enough to ascertain through their limited interactions. Though it was rather a deterrence to know that he was in a serious relationship, it wasn't going to stop Lana completely. What she planned to do wasn't personal. It wasn't even about genuine attraction or lust, though she appreciated that he was a good looking man. Being in a relationship didn't stop every man from receiving the advances of another woman…hell, Lana didn't even have to fuck him to achieve what she wanted. Sometimes her interest in them or the sheer possibility of having her was enough to get her way. Rick being in a relationship wouldn't stop her trying to manipulate him to her advantage.

As comfortable as life here could be, Lana and her group had no intention of staying. All they needed was enough food and weapons to start over somewhere, enough supplies to get them started and on the road to self sufficiency. The food and general supplies would be easy to take, even with Olivia's meticulous record keeping, but it was the armoury that was proving difficult. Inch thick solid doors and combination deadbolts were a little tricker…which was where Rick came in. It seemed that although a good dozen or so Alexandrians had access to the armoury, that access had been expressly denied to Lana and her group. That needed to change.

Wondering if she was about to lose her first opportunity, Lana watched as Carrie said something to him, and when she turned a little she revealed the baby she carried on her hip. She passed the baby over to Rick, and Lana couldn't help but smile as he raised her into the air above his head. The fair haired girl shrieked and kicked her legs wildly, clearly enjoying the game. Bringing her back down to a more acceptable height he kissed her on the cheek and then reached for the small pink bag Carrie held. He left now, and not for the first time Lana noticed that he didn't kiss Carrie on the cheek, he didn't touch her hand as he passed her by. This wasn't the first time that she had noticed they weren't an affectionate couple. Her third day here she had watched from afar for as they tended the gardens and cleaned out the chicken coop together, and not once did they show a hint of physical affection. It was no wonder that it took her days to realise Carrie was his girlfriend, that they had lived together for months. Lana hoped this was a sign of trouble, that Rick was positively starved for affection and intimacy. Maybe it would be easier than she expected to get him into her bed.

With him gone for now Carrie lingered and took his place, talking happily with those he left behind. She gestured to the plaster cast on her arm, perhaps explaining why she had relinquished the baby whose name Lana couldn't remember. But though Carrie smiled and talked animatedly, Lana knew that it was a facade, that it was bullshit. She had met Carrie twice since her arrival, and both times she had been glad to hear she wasn't on the run crew anymore, that she was uninvolved in the day to day running of Alexandria. Carrie seemed to have a fragile look about her, her cheeks always pale and her demeanour quiet. She had not yet seen her looking comfortable and relaxed, her brow often pinched into a frown.

Carrie smiled with her mouth, but not her eyes.

It was almost impossible to avoid hearing the rumours, and even after only six days here Lana knew what had happened to Carrie, how Carl Grimes had come to be shot in the face. The people involved and the intricacies of the relationships were ideal for the script of a soap opera, the attempt on the lives of both Carrie and Carl leaving another woman widowed and the teen partially blinded, never to be the same again. Having learned it all in bits and pieces Lana knew that a fair amount of it was salacious rumours, and it was only after a very frank discussion with Deanna that she got the full story without embellishments. She had demanded Deanna tell her what had happened, that she be fully aware of any grudges or warring families.

But a month later it was all over, the dust on Pete Anderson's murderous grudge slowly beginning to settle. Though the two families lived only one house away from one another, there had been no more fallout from the attack and death of Pete. While Jessie and her sons holed up at home to grieve so too did Rick and his family, explaining the reason Lana had seen so very little of them. The first time she had properly met Carrie was at the Pantry earlier in the week, when Olivia had introduced them when Lana brought her group to collect their first lot of rations. Carrie had been there working on spreadsheets, her broken wrist not holding her back as she tapped away at the laptop. She had smiled politely and said all the right things, but Lana knew that like Rick she wasn't overly pleased by the arrival of newcomers. This assumption was all but confirmed when Mitch and Vetor had joined them to help collect their rations, and as though they had personally offended her Carrie packed up her laptop and went upstairs, barely making eye contact with them as she passed.

Having spent enough time thinking about Carrie, Lana turned her thoughts back to Rick, hoping she had correctly gauged the best way to flirt with him. He was older than her and had been married too, he wasn't as likely to be vulnerable to outright an outright sexual advance. Lana got the feeling he would require a more subtle approach, that if she was going to find herself in his bed it would be after having put in some genuine effort to win his trust and affection. That wasn't going to happen overnight, of that she was sure.

Some time passed, and when Rick didn't return to Carrie within a few minutes Lana opted to move on, knowing she had many opportunities to connect with him that evening. Not caring about the allocated rations she soon moved on to her third beer of the night. If things played out the way she wanted them to, then a beer too many was not going to be her worst crime against Alexandria. She continued making her way around the room, once again joining Sonja and Vetor so they could act as her mouth piece, using them to avoid the spotlight as best she could. It was a difficult task given she was her group's leader, but particularly so given that the eyes of men followed her wherever she went.

She felt Vetor nudging her, and following the slight nod of his head she looked around and saw Rick again. Free of the baby and the girlfriend he now stood in the company of Robert, Tobin and Carol, the latter almost deterring Lana completely. She had seen Carol's video interview too, and immediately recognised the bullshit. No one survived this world and could remain that innocent, that sweet and doe eyed. Much like the others, Lana got the impression that Carol was a woman not to be underestimated, her floral sweater and cookies aside. Frankly, she intimidated her without even trying.

Choosing to wait until Carol was gone Lana ignored Vetor's nudge, a small part of her resenting that he had asked her to do this, while a larger part resented herself for agreeing. This wasn't the first time she had used her body to manipulate someone, to take advantage of their generosity or naivety. But this was going to be harder, Lana knew it, though she tried not to talk herself out of it before she even began.

Finally Carol broke away leaving Rick alone with Tobin and Robert, the other newcomer dubbed little red riding hood thanks to his poncho. He had arrived two weeks prior, Daryl and Aaron having offered him salvation just as they had done to her. She knew him a little already, and with some common ground on which to stand Lana chose to make her move. Pulling her dress down at the front and up at the hem she made her way over, and though they were friendly and welcoming when she joined them she could tell her presence had changed the group dynamic. It was always like that with men. She could anticipate the way they held their breath when they saw her, the way their eyes drop down to her chest. These three were no different.

As they started talking she noticed Rick's eyes drop to her cleavage for the briefest of moments, his lips parting and a flush appearing on the back of his neck. He looked quickly away, but Lana could tell he wasn't going to look again. His body language was all wrong, his feet slightly turned away from her, an outright effort to avoid engaging with her. This carried across to the conversation, Rick appearing to take a back seat and allowing Brody and Tobin to lead, to make the small talk and polite enquiries. Despite his apparent disinterest in her Rick listened and talked politely, but she could tell his attention wasn't on her.

Ten minutes in and Lana knew what the verdict was, that if she stood any chance at all of getting him into her bed it wasn't happening tonight. For a man like Rick it would go one of two ways. Either he'd go home with her that night, already wrapped around her finger and brought to his knees with desire, or he'd take some work. It felt clear already that this wasn't going to result in a one night stand, that she was going to have to extend her effort to get close to him and eventually worm her way into accessing the armoury.

Making a final ditch effort to arouse some kind of interest from him she smiled, laughed and then placed her hand on his arm. It was just above the elbow, her fingertips barely touching him through the rolled up sleeve of his shirt, but usually it was just enough to make a man's heart skip a beat. That's all she wanted from him tonight, to show him the possibility of what he could have from her, that he could have more than just the touch of her hand on his arm. But just like before he gave no response. His skin didn't erupt in gooseflesh, he didn't hold his breath or look at her with a mixture of excitement and wariness…instead he just looked away. While he ignored her Lana kept her hand there for just a moment longer, but then her face fell, something in her peripheral vision making her swiftly take it back.

Carrie was making her way over, the expression on her face making it very apparent that while Rick had ignored the affection, she had not. In an instant Carrie was slipping between them with a warm smile that actually met her eyes this time, and she softly murmured something to him as she staked her territory. There was nothing to question about the way she intimately slid her arm around his waist, her hand dropping low onto his arse before sliding into his back pocket. He returned her smile, though when he slipped his arm around her he seemed to do it more slowly, his hand only coming to rest no lower than the centre of her back. Despite her disappointment Lana watched the interaction curiously, noting this was the first time she had ever seen them being affectionate.

A moment passed before Carrie turned to look at Lana, her warm smile fading into a look of strained politeness. There was no doubting the message being communicated. She was making a clear statement to the woman flirting with her man…he's spoken for. Maybe it was a reminder for Rick too, not that he seemed to have needed it. Having only one other option, Lana smiled pleasantly and started the small talk, glad when Carrie made an effort to reciprocate. Though they talked politely for a few minutes Lana had no delusions as to what was happening here. The way Carrie remained exactly where she was, her arm still around Rick's waist with her hand in his pocket was her reinforcing the message, still warning her. With this in mind Lana stayed only for as long as she could without appearing rude, and then she made her excuses.

It was with a small sense of relief that she walked away, not only glad that she was getting away from Carrie, but from Rick too. If she thought there was even a chance that man might stray from his relationship she would have persisted at the right time and place, she would have reevaluated and tried another tactic at a later time. But just as she had suspected earlier, trying to manipulate Rick Grimes with sex him wasn't going to happen. Yet she was not disheartened, knowing she still had options. She was going to have to change tactics, to go down a more strategic and subtle road if she was ever going to get into the armoury. If that failed, Rick wasn't the only man with access to the armoury. Perhaps someone with a weaker will, someone who mustn't already be enjoying frequent sex with a girlfriend. It seemed almost everyone here had access to the armoury but her group. Carter or Brody might be her next target…hell, she'd even sleep with Sturgess if he had the code.

Though she was glad she didn't have to sleep with Rick, Lana did glance over her shoulder to check him out. He had a nice body, he would have been worth the time…but apparently Carrie didn't think so. Despite her earlier gesture of intimacy she was pulling away from Rick now, a slight move of her shoulders telling him to take his hand back. Even from a distance it looked awkward, Carrie's whole body looking tense for one uncomfortable moment. As if backing away from her Rick took a step to his left, but quickly Carrie had another change of heart. She reached for his hand now, entwining their fingers and closing the gap between them until they stood side by side again. They both seemed happier now, and Lana didn't know what the hell to think.

Taking her leave, Lana was glad to be able to slip away unnoticed, not wanting to say goodbye to anyone. She made her way first through Gabriel's small office and then out the back door, disappointed when there was no one else around. She had been hoping to find someone out here smoking, to take a draw of their cigarette and enjoy the long lost taste of nicotine. Finding herself alone she wandered off towards to the townhouse that was both generous in space and furnishings, but didn't feel like her home. Outside and alone, she took a minute to take in the wondrous and frankly ridiculous sight of Christmas decorations in the windows. Apparently the apocalypse meant there was no reason to forgo Christmas in July.

She was disappointed when she heard the rear door open and close, even more disappointed when she recognised the footsteps coming behind her. Nevertheless she slowed down and let Vetor fall into step beside her. His enquiries started immediately, annoyed that she had given up on Rick so quickly. He implored her to get back in there, to try again, even offering to distract Carrie for a little while. She knew that he was frustrated with her, that never before had her attempt to manipulate a man been less than effective, but she wished he would bloody lay off already. It wasn't him who had to sleep with someone he didn't care about…then again she didn't think that would bother Vetor.

As they reached the front steps to their townhouse Lana sat down instead of going in, hoping that the delay in going inside might mean Vetor returned to the party without her. But instead he stayed, quizzing her again as to what happened, why Rick hadn't been interested in her. Knowing the game she had to play she answered his questions patiently, explaining her thoughts, her plans to turn her affections onto another man instead. She denied that she had forgotten their plans to steal from them and leave, that she was becoming too comfortable and accustomed to the luxuries here.

She had known all along that she was not the genuine leader of their group, that although she had the support of those at the time the decisions and calls she made were not her own. After being ousted as their original leader, a day that had almost led to bloodshed, Vetor had been forced to defer leadership to her, someone who was barely able to legally drink alcohol. He had gone down unwillingly, fighting his own group every step of the way to maintain his position as their leader, but Lana knew what he was doing. As soon as the dust settled and her leadership began there he was, looking over her shoulder and whispering in her ear. While publicly he tended to his wounded pride, privately he was still running the show, making the decisions and using her as his mouthpiece.

Lana didn't blame him for the underhand way he held onto his leadership, suspecting that the others in their group were aware of what he was doing. Despite the coup and the events leading up to it, Vetor had been a good leader. His decisions had saved many of their lives, had kept them safe with a roof over their head and food in their stomach…but slowly things had turned sour, his pride taking priority both before and after Lana became the leader. Soon enough the decisions he made and enacted through her started costing them their safety and security. On more than one occasion it had cost them lives.

She had always felt that Vetor had the most perfect disguise, that his warm Portuguese accent and his friendly eyes made him so deeply trustworthy. Few recognised him as the cold and calculating man he could sometimes be, even before the outbreak had occurred. When they'd first met it had been to Lana's advantage, she would have never made it as a fashion model had she not learnt from him as her agent and mentor. These days it was less advantageous to her, though she would never deny that Vetor had looked after her, that he had never done wrong by her…not directly anyway.

There was no doubt in her mind that Vetor made some shitty calls, and that as his mouthpiece she was the one who suffered the heartbreak of having enacted his will. He was the one who insisted they leave their last place of safety, claiming they had earned what they stole from the people who had clothed and fed them. Vetor would rather them steal and live alongside the dead than survive thanks to the charity of others. It was his calls that saw them back on foot, walking straight into the lair of the Wolves who proceeded to take everything from them, even their lives.

In the heat of the moment there was no way for her to privately ask Vetor what to do, how to handle the attackers who held machetes to the necks of three people. That decision had been solely on her, and in retrospect she felt had made the right calls. At her instruction they gave up their belongings, the weapons that lacked ammunition and the last of their food, and it had been her call that they flee when the Wolves killed the three they had at their mercy. Lana's decision to run had saved five lives, whereas Vetor's call to rob and abandon their last place of safety had led them to that very position in the first place.

She didn't dare express the truth, to tell him that maybe their plan to ditch Alexandria was wrong, that they shouldn't be doing it again. They were going to throw away the safety of a community willing to take them in, and for what? To survive on their own terms? Vetor was too proud, his refusal to recognise this flaw part of the reason he was no longer the group's leader. Perhaps it was time for her to stop letting him do that, time for her to listen to her own instincts and gut for once…though she doubted she had the strength of will to stand up to a man she loved and adored as she did Vetor. What was she supposed to do? How would she stand up to a man who had never heard no from her?

Were she of stronger will she would have told him what she really thought, that it was his fault things didn't work out at the last place, that he was responsible for the deaths of Chris, Astor and Marianne…that she wanted to stay in Alexandria. But she couldn't. She loved him, even though she couldn't make him love her back. It was cruel that she could have any man except him, that he was the only one who wasn't vulnerable to her manipulation. Even after everything they'd been through she was constantly on edge, braced for the inevitability that she would do something wrong and make him leave her.

When Vetor sat down beside her she knew what he wanted, and though she wished he would go back to the party without her she didn't protest. She never did protest, not even before the outbreak when sleeping with him would have been highly frowned upon. It was natural to crave human contact, and there was no doubt in her mind that he loved her genuinely, even if it wasn't enough. They kissed passionately, and there was no gentle build up when he took her hand and put it on the front of his pants, the zip already lowered. She tried not to think about what she had overheard that morning, the sound of him slipping into Sonja's bedroom to be alone with her. Instead she set about pleasing him, convinced that this would be the time things changed, that he would stop using her and treat her as the leader they both knew she was. Any day now things would change. She just had to get it right and then everything would be okay, he'd love her the way she needed him to.

She had hoped that this would be just a precursor, that the touch of her hand was just the start of a long, wonderful night of him in her bed, but it wasn't the case. Instead he let her keep going until a few minutes later he was done, laying back against the townhouse steps as he exclaimed words of praise in Portuguese. Still Lana waited eagerly, craving the intimacy and affection that usually followed freely. She didn't care whose bed he had been in that morning so long as he was in hers tonight and the next, and every night after. When Vetor finally sat up and straightened his clothes he handed her a napkin to clean up, his foresight to bring it telling her this hadn't been spontaneous affection. He had come after her to berate her about giving up on Rick, and to get himself off too. Maybe another night she would have felt that was sexy, admiring how bold and confident he was that she would consent, but tonight all she felt was bitter disappointment.

As he got to his feet they kissed sweetly, and before she could stop herself she grabbed at his shirt, clenching it to make him stay. It was embarrassing, her humiliation growing when he smiled and pushed her hand away, patting it gently as he laid it back onto her leg. The kick in the guts was when he told her to save her passion for him, for Rick Grimes. She didn't bother repeating what she had already told him, that Alexandria's co-leader couldn't be less interested in her if he tried. Instead she accepted the one token of his affection that he offered, gratefully taking two cigarettes and a lighter. Consoling her disappointment, she looked at the tinsel wrapped around the wrought iron handrails, admiring the way the dim lights were reflected in them.

For twenty minutes she lingered there, smoking the first cigarette while the other was tucked behind her ear. The used napkin she had wiped her hands with was wadded up and tossed away, Lana not caring who came across it the following morning and had to pick it up. There was nothing she could do. Vetor was going to get his way like he always did, and in a couple of weeks they'd be packing their bags with food and supplies, taking some stolen guns and ammunition before slipping away in the middle of the night. Like it always was it would have been her call, and the blame for things going wrong thereafter would fall to her, not him.

The party was winding down now, the Alexandrian's perhaps in the habit of turning to bed early. Already three groups of people had departed the church and headed for home, but thankfully none of them headed down past the townhouses, meaning she remained undisturbed. To their credit the rest of her group stayed at the party quite late, putting in some face time and getting to know the people there. It wasn't surprising that it was easier to steal from people you knew well, but Lana hated that part, that she got to know and like these people before inevitably leaving on bad terms.

She had made it to her second and final cigarette when she saw Carol emerging from the church, pushing a small stroller with the baby fast asleep inside. Leaving alone she made her way across the grass and then onto the road, enjoying the moonlit stroll with the little girl she helped care for so often. A minute later two more followed, and it was them that Lana paid the most attention to. As she watched their silhouettes she listened to their conversation, envying the way Rick held Carrie's hand as he helped her walk across the grass. She was laughing at something, her light hearted giggles making Lana suspect she had indulged in a little too much wine that evening.

When they reached the pavement they slowed to a stop, and she watched as Rick crouched down and helped Carrie step out of her high heels. He yelped in pain, admonishing her for grasping his hair to steady herself, but he didn't seem genuinely annoyed. When he stood he held her shoes in one hand and linked his arm around her elbow, his tone one of amusement as he reminded her to watch where she was going, to put one foot in front of the other.

They walked at a leisurely pace, and when they passed into the light cast from a nearby house Lana caught a proper glimpse of them. Carrie was looking up at him with nothing other than drunken adoration in her eyes, suddenly proclaiming how much she loved him. At this Rick burst out laughing, shaking his head as he focused on keeping her steady and upright. You're drunk, Sweetheart, he reminded her before returning her words of affection, though a little more softly. They kissed now, and then without wasting any more time resumed their short journey.

Taking a long draw on the cigarette, Lana watched enviously as they walked home together, glad that they soon disappeared from sight and headed back to their perfect life together. There was no stopping the envy that flooded through her, and she wondered if Carrie knew how much she had going for her, if she appreciated all she had. A safe place to live, someone who loved her, two step-children to raise. It was nine o'clock in the evening now, and not once had Vetor acknowledged what this particular day meant to them both, that it had been exactly seven years since she was picked up from the airport and delivered to his modelling agency. With a sinking heart she suspected he knew what the date was, but that he had chosen to ignore it.

Today was her twenty third birthday.