I never thought Viktor was serious about marrying me. I mean, obviously he said it to all of the skaters, including an array of people we didn't know, but still. It was all over the news how I had 'proposed' to Viktor, but they didn't know half of it. They wouldn't believe me if I said that it was all him, anyway. And technically, it wasn't even a proposal! He just said it! Is that what I was supposed to expect?

I slumped towards the men's restroom, but immediately thought better of it. I had won silver, at least, and I didn't want to repeat last year. Of course, I knew Yuri Plisetsky now, meaning he (probably) wouldn't come in and scream at me again, but I still felt I could make a better choice. I turned and continued down the hall, slipping into the parking lot for some air. I had to be back again soon for the final skate that Viktor and I had to dress for, but I figured I had some time.

I don't know how he found me, but less than 20 minutes after I had escaped, Viktor appeared around a line of cars, and began to look around, haphazardly calling my name. I debated not answering and letting him go back to the room, deciding not to call out. I sat, my back propped up against a pillar in between a couple of cars, and I held my head up in my hands as I cried.

Yes, I was crying. I sometimes have difficulty containing my emotions, and this time was no exception. This was one of the reasons why I didn't want Viktor to see me right now. He's not good with crying people. Before the Cup of China free skate, he assumed that the immediate answer was to kiss me! He did not (he saved that for AFTER the skate), but still, I didn't want to humiliate myself in front of him again.

I cried because of the silver medal. I had tried so hard to get gold without completely getting why, only to understand later. It only came to me at that moment that the reason I wanted gold was not so that I could be a great, famous skater and be friends with Viktor and everyone and help keep up my family's Onsen, it was because of what Viktor said the day I bought the luck-rings. It was because he said that if I won the gold medal, he would marry me. And I didn't even know how much I wanted that to happen until then.

My efforts to keep him away, however, were in vain. He must have heard my sobbing, because he found me in an instant. He didn't look angry, though. A little apprehensive, maybe, but not angry. He walked over and sat down next to me, leaning his head on my shoulder as he draped his arm around my neck. Immediately I felt better, but I didn't understand why. It was just Viktor. Just stupid, hilarious, beautiful Viktor…

Pulling myself from my deep thoughts, I felt better, but I could not get control of my crying. Viktor tried to make me feel better, massaging my shoulders, but he didn't say a word. He just knelt next me, hugged me, and wiped away my tears, but for a while he did not speak. Then, he stood.

"Yuuri…" He drawled, a small smile inching its way onto his face. I didn't know why he was smiling, but he didn't give me the chance to say anything. He just reached out his hand. I pulled myself together enough to reach my hand up to him, and he clasped it tightly. Then he did something completely unexpected. He pulled me up to him, and as my eyes neared his I caught just the barest hint of laughter in his eyes.

His arms tightened around my waist as he pulled me into his embrace, my arms instinctively going around his shoulders as he kissed me fully on the mouth. I instantly understood everything. The random smiles, the stares, my need to be near him. It was because I loved him. And I don't know who it surprised more when I leaned in and kissed him back, but it surprised me quite a bit. He dug his hands up into my hair and I smiled, but then he pulled away and I was left standing there, suddenly cold, as he stared deep into my eyes.

"Why are you crying?" He asked, his lulling voice masking his concern. I sighed, wondering if I should tell him, when he moved to put his arms around my shoulders once again and smiled desperately into my eyes.

"Tell me, Yuuri, what's wrong?" I pulled away and faced him, wiping away the tears in my eyes. Then, I began.

"Viktor, it's about the silver medal. I-I tried really hard, and I really wanted gold… but not for the popularity, or the money, or anything like that." The tears welled up in my eyes again, but I choked them down and continued.

"I want you, Viktor!" I shouted, my emotions getting the better of me again. "I want YOU! If it takes me five gold medals, then so be it. I will get those gold medals. But the thing is, Viktor," He stepped back, unprepared for my sudden bursts of emotion. "I don't want you in five years, I WANT YOU NOW!" I yelled, and he smiled, surprised.

Then he stepped forward and said, "You honestly think I could survive five years without you?" He grinned brightly, taking my hands. I was more than a little shocked, but maintained my composure (for the first time in my life). He looked deep into my eyes, and he said,

"I was waiting for you." His smile lit up the whole lot. "I was waiting for you to realize that you wanted to be with me. That's why I said get those five gold medals. Because I figured that if you waited that long and got all five, by the end you would be mine."

And this time, I was the one who kissed him. Because I wanted him more than I had ever wanted someone before in my life. But there was something else. I didn't want him. I didn't have to.

You can't want something you already have.