Skate with me

Author's note: I'm back. I also started watching Yuri! On Ice. There's really not much else I want to say about this other than that I was having a really bad day and so this is me venting my feelings. I don't own any of the characters and I hope you enjoy this.

Six months after the Grand Prix finals

Yuri's POV

Victor and I walked into the rink back home for me. It's strange. We'd travelled all over the world together, and yet nothing made me feel the same way that I'd feel when I'd walk back into the hot springs with Victor by my side. Makkachin bounded to the edge of the ice, stopping just short of it in favour of lying down and watching as Victor and I skated hand in hand. Fourteen months had passed and still I couldn't quite believe he was here with me, skating with me. Now we were practising a duet we had choreographed together.

"Yuri, is something on your mind?" Victor asked as I messed up my quadruple salchow again. He offered me his hand up, smiling as he always did, always supporting me with my skating. No matter how much I messed up, he was there, always, picking me up when I was down. I took his hand, getting back onto my feet.

"It's nothing really." I said. Unfortunately, he wasn't buying it.

"We're done for today. We're going back to your place to soak in the springs and to have pork cutlet bowls before a sleepover." He tugged me towards the edge of the ice before I had time to fight him, reaching down to stroke Makkachin gently.

It's funny sometimes. Victor and I have been dating for six months now and he still calls it a sleepover when we sleep in the same room. I took off my skates and we walked back home together, Makkachin bouncing around our feet happily. Victor and I looked at him and then burst out laughing, attracting the attention of some civilians. We were just two professional male skaters laughing about a dog together in the middle of Japan.

"Yuri?" Victor asked me softly as we stopped giggling. Makkochin had calmed down now and he was sitting at Victor's feet obediently. Victor looked much more serious, but not unhappy. What was with him?

"Victor, is everything alright?" I asked him only to be pushed back onto the bench near my house. Makkochin bounced up next to me and sat himself down, looking between me and Victor knowingly. Victor, for the first time since I'd known him, was pink.

"Yuri Katsuki….I….I wanted to give you this after you won gold at the Grand Prix finals," he started. He then realised what he'd said and shook his head quickly. "Let me start over. Yuri Katsuki….Your online video changed both of our lives so much. I cannot even begin to tell you how grateful I am that it was posted online. I am also so grateful for every moment we've shared together, from the time when you skated into the side of the rink to when you broke my record. Yuri Katsuki from Japan, I'm offering you the chance to turn your silver into gold." He reached for Makkochin's collar and gently untied something from it. "Yuri Katsuki, competitor from Japan, beater of my record in the free skate, and my most amazing, wonderful boyfriend, will you marry me?" He held out a small golden ring with a tiny medal made out of gold on it. Engraved on the medal was: I love you Yuri.

I stared. That was all I could do for a moment. Victor Nikiforov, world famous male figure skater, was proposing to me? He was still smiling shyly at me, one hand resting on Makkochin gently.

"Yes!" I shouted, jumping off the bench and into his arms with delight, knocking him over. He slid the ring onto my finger and then we kissed, holding each other gently as we lay on the ground together.

After some time, we stood up and walked back to my parents' house. Victor had obviously warned them what was going to happen because all my friends were there, ready to celebrate. Even Phichit video called me later on in the evening to see what had happened and to give his congratulations. Victor even said I could have a pork cutlet bowl that night, despite having not technically won a gold medal.

"But a gold ring is better right?"

That night I lay in Victor's arms, my face buried in his chest. I felt truly happy and truly at piece, with the one I love and no acting.

That night I was Yuri Katsuki.

Twelve months after the Grand Prix finals

It's Victor's birthday today. I've got him a bouquet of lilies, his favourite flower. I've also brought my silver medal from my Grand Prix with him as my coach with me. It seems appropriate for the occasion.

Makkochin walks beside me today, but he doesn't bound like he used to. He only did that around Victor it seems. The two of us walk in silence through the snow of my town. Past the ice rink, past the temple, getting further from my home, Makkochin stops before I do. I pat him gently behind the ears, his favourite place.

Yuko suggested that I take him a small collection of things that remind me of him, so I've filled a small cardboard box. My medal, his Makkochin style tissue box, a paper lily my mum made, a photo frame with a picture of me, him and Yurio in it before our skate off in Japan, and other little things from our trips together. That all seems like a lifetime ago now.

Makkochin goes to greet him before I do, sitting down obediently and waiting for me. I kneel down next to Makkochin and stroke his fur gently.

Victor Nikiforov. Aged 29. He's now skating his heavenly choreographies in heaven with the angels.

Cheesy, I know. I had it written because I couldn't think what else I could say about him that wasn't personal to us. There was so much I wanted to say, but it would ruin my memory of him if everyone else knew. No one else will see his smile in the same way that I did, and no one will ever understand our little jokes and gestures. Even in his eulogy, I couldn't bring myself to talk about half the things I know about him.

Victor was my idol first. Then he became like an older brother to me. After that, he and I were both messes, somehow muddling through to the final together. He tried to act as a real coach once or twice, but it didn't feel like Victor. Victor was my past for skating, he made me who I am today, and he will continue to influence my skating in the future.

People pushed me for more words, but they just wouldn't come out. I had invited Yurio, Chris, and Phichit to come to the funeral. The first two because of their connection to Victor and Phichit purely for emotional support for me.

"Hey Victor," I said gently, putting down the box and the flowers. "I brought you some lilies. Your favourite. And I brought you the box of our memories together. Like this photo of us in Barcelona."

I show Victor everything in the box. At the end, I sit for a moment with him and Makkochin. Makkochin nuzzles against the headstone slightly and I take out one more thing.

"Victor I….I won't be using this anymore. Not in the near future anyway. So, I was thinking of keeping it in the box. My box of us." I held the disk out to the headstone as if he could read it.

"Victor, I hope you're happy. I bet they have an amazing ice rink up there. And I bet the ice would never hurt, even if you fell over or slammed into the side of the rink."

Makkochin nuzzles my hand gently and I stand up, kissing my fingers gently and placing them on his headstone.

"Makkochin's in good hands, don't you worry." I say softly to Victor, picking up my CD and putting it back in the box.

"Thank you for everything Victor. You're the reason I'm here today. And you're the reason why I'm not retiring, not yet anyway. Yuri will stay on ice."

I turn away then, tears running down my face. Makkochin licks my hand gently and we walk home together in silence.

It's strange how one person can change a life so drastically.

I'm tired and I haven't properly written in ages and I'm sorry for this