- Diary of A Murderer
- Noir Fanfiction by LeeT911 ([email protected] --- any comments are appreciated)
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Noir or any of its characters. There are spoilers in this, so if you don't want those, watch the anime first. This is a work of pure fiction and character depictions are all my own, although I have tried to keep them true to the original. Rated PG for hints of shoujo-ai/yuri/whatever you want to call it.
SETTING: This takes place several years after the conclusion of the series. Mireille and Kirika have long since gone their separate ways. Kirika returns to the apartment she shared with Mireille and discovers a letter her partner had written. Note: Most chapters are excerpts taken from a diary Kirika keeps following her return to Paris.
* * * * *
Prologue: Queen of Darkness
* * * * *
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Kirika,
Part of me wonders why you had to leave, even though I know very well.
I don't hate you, Kirika.
Please.
Believe that.
Despite what you may have done in the past; amidst all the killing, all the violence, I think...
I think I've come to like you.
Is it... love?
I hate that word, hate its connotations.
I hate what the world has done to twist its meaning.
But hate... hate can never save...
Hate never saved Chloe, never saved Altena.
Not from you, not from... us?
Noir? The black maidens?
Who are we?
I'm no longer sure, not even of myself.
I know I will never give this letter to you.
I know I will never have the courage to say these things to your face.
Maybe, someday, you will read this when I'm far from here.
Because I will leave as surely as you will.
We need some time to find ourselves, to come to terms with everything that we are and everything we've done.
You are not Soldat's child... and neither am I.
I forgive you Kirika.
I still remember pointing a gun at you and crying in the rain.
I still remember you begging me to shoot you...
Never...
Never again...
I didn't ask for this.
I didn't ask for anything.
All I ever wanted was to be happy.
All I ever wanted was a friend.
All I ever wanted was...
Please don't cry for me.
It's not worth the trouble.
Let's forget the past.
I understand that you can't stay here, with me.
Go see what life is really like.
You of all people deserve nothing less.
Just remember... I'll be waiting.
I'm sorry... for everything I did and didn't do, for everything I should and shouldn't have done.
I won't promise, not this time.
Kirika Yuumura...
You may be the queen of darkness... but you're my queen of darkness.
Love?
Mireille Bouquet
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A tear worked its way down Kirika's cheek as she finished reading letter. She had come back to Paris, after all these years. Come back to this place where she had spent the most important part of her life. The killing was behind her, the guilt was behind her. She could never be an ordinary girl. She accepted it.
Mireille didn't live here anymore. It didn't surprise her. The apartment hadn't been touched since they had abandoned it. It still held so many memories, so much raw emotion. It didn't matter, nothing mattered anymore.
Kirika folded up the letter and stuffed it in her pocket. Then she replaced the loose floorboard it had been under and stood up slowly. The last dying rays of the setting sun came through the broken window and bathed the apartment in a warm orange glow. It was cleansing, in its own way.
"Mireille," she whispered into the emptiness, as the tears came in earnest, "all I ever wanted... was for you to love me."
* * * * *
- Noir Fanfiction by LeeT911 ([email protected] --- any comments are appreciated)
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Noir or any of its characters. There are spoilers in this, so if you don't want those, watch the anime first. This is a work of pure fiction and character depictions are all my own, although I have tried to keep them true to the original. Rated PG for hints of shoujo-ai/yuri/whatever you want to call it.
SETTING: This takes place several years after the conclusion of the series. Mireille and Kirika have long since gone their separate ways. Kirika returns to the apartment she shared with Mireille and discovers a letter her partner had written. Note: Most chapters are excerpts taken from a diary Kirika keeps following her return to Paris.
* * * * *
Prologue: Queen of Darkness
* * * * *
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Kirika,
Part of me wonders why you had to leave, even though I know very well.
I don't hate you, Kirika.
Please.
Believe that.
Despite what you may have done in the past; amidst all the killing, all the violence, I think...
I think I've come to like you.
Is it... love?
I hate that word, hate its connotations.
I hate what the world has done to twist its meaning.
But hate... hate can never save...
Hate never saved Chloe, never saved Altena.
Not from you, not from... us?
Noir? The black maidens?
Who are we?
I'm no longer sure, not even of myself.
I know I will never give this letter to you.
I know I will never have the courage to say these things to your face.
Maybe, someday, you will read this when I'm far from here.
Because I will leave as surely as you will.
We need some time to find ourselves, to come to terms with everything that we are and everything we've done.
You are not Soldat's child... and neither am I.
I forgive you Kirika.
I still remember pointing a gun at you and crying in the rain.
I still remember you begging me to shoot you...
Never...
Never again...
I didn't ask for this.
I didn't ask for anything.
All I ever wanted was to be happy.
All I ever wanted was a friend.
All I ever wanted was...
Please don't cry for me.
It's not worth the trouble.
Let's forget the past.
I understand that you can't stay here, with me.
Go see what life is really like.
You of all people deserve nothing less.
Just remember... I'll be waiting.
I'm sorry... for everything I did and didn't do, for everything I should and shouldn't have done.
I won't promise, not this time.
Kirika Yuumura...
You may be the queen of darkness... but you're my queen of darkness.
Love?
Mireille Bouquet
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A tear worked its way down Kirika's cheek as she finished reading letter. She had come back to Paris, after all these years. Come back to this place where she had spent the most important part of her life. The killing was behind her, the guilt was behind her. She could never be an ordinary girl. She accepted it.
Mireille didn't live here anymore. It didn't surprise her. The apartment hadn't been touched since they had abandoned it. It still held so many memories, so much raw emotion. It didn't matter, nothing mattered anymore.
Kirika folded up the letter and stuffed it in her pocket. Then she replaced the loose floorboard it had been under and stood up slowly. The last dying rays of the setting sun came through the broken window and bathed the apartment in a warm orange glow. It was cleansing, in its own way.
"Mireille," she whispered into the emptiness, as the tears came in earnest, "all I ever wanted... was for you to love me."
* * * * *