Chapter 9

"Momma, where Ewiot?" asked Noah a week later after she read him a story. Tomorrow is his birthday and she rented out a small space in the park for his first real party. He had been going to all of his daycare friends parties and she didn't want him to feel left out. She rented a bouncy house, cotton candy machine, and his favorite character was coming in costume. He was so excited and although she was nervous as hell to make sure all went to plan, she was excited for him. "I told him to come to my party, memba?"

She was afraid of this. She did remember that last day Elliot was here how Noah sat him down to play and told him to bring all the kids to celebrate. This is what she was afraid of, she didn't want him getting attached. He only met the twins and Nathan once, but the kid had quite a memory of all good things in his life. That day was a great day, so he recited every detail often. She didn't tell Elliot where the party was, and she gave explicit instructions to Fin and Munch not to either. She knew John would have some problems with that, but she confessed to being nervous about the party, all those moms, the weather as well as Elliot's demand to let things play out. The men in her life knew that's not something she could do, especially where Elliot is concerned so they reluctantly agreed, at least for the sake of her nerves at Noah's party.

"Elliot can't come to your party, sweet boy. I'm sorry." She tried to sound cheerful about it, to let him know it wasn't the end of the world, but he was attuned to her moods.

"Why? Does he no like me? He doesn't want come? It's my birfday!" He looked and sounded so sad.

"No my love. Elliot likes you, a lot. He probably fell in love with you the minute he first saw you. No sweetie, it's Momma. Elliot and Momma can't be together for your party. I know you don't understand, but please know it

has nothing to do with how he feels about you. We will have so much fun, I promise. Okay?" When he nodded, she brought him in for a big hug, kissed his head and tucked him in.

Olivia was actually having fun. The kids were doing flips in the bouncy house and the minute Chase from Paw Patrol showed up with his friend clown, the kids went nuts! She was able to step back and watch because the two costumed characters would keep the children entertained for an hour. As she was wandering around taking pictures, she heard her name from behind. When she turned around, she saw Charlie and Sabrina run up to her. She was surprised as hell and immediately searched for their grandfather, but only found Maureen. After she bent down to hug them both, they ran towards Noah and joined in as if their appearance at his party was planned.

"Hi Olivia" exclaimed Maureen once she was close enough. "Is this Noah's party?"

"Hi! Yes." She was at a loss as to what to say next. "I'm sorry, I…"

Maureen cut her off with a noise coupled with a shake of her head and a wave of her hand. "I understand. Dad doesn't, but I do. I'll just collect the girls and be on our way."

"No! Don't be silly, they're already here and look. They're now a part of the club, or whatever this is that they're doing. They are more than welcome to stay."

"Good" she was interrupted by another familiar voice. "Because this kid has been driving me crazy all morning and I need him to have a distraction that's not me!" Kathleen stated as she shooed her little boy towards his cousins and the clown who was now making balloon figures. Olivia looked around over her shoulder. "He's not here Liv. Maur and I meet at this park for lunch all the time. Running into you was just a coincidence."

"A happy one" Liv stated. She really was glad to see the girls and have the little ones join in Noah's party. His face lit up when he saw them. "Oh my God, look!" She quickly grabbed her camera and began to take multiple shots with the two blondes right on her heels, camera phones at the ready. Noah and the three Stabler grandchildren were huddled so close together that they were practically in each other's laps and they were mesmerized by the entertainment.

She continued to take pictures and mingle with the other moms. The girls were talking animatedly amongst themselves and Liv started to relax. She could be the average working mom; this wasn't that hard. When it came time to cut the cake, Liv was right behind her little boy, surrounded closely by Elliot's grandchildren who helped blow out the candles. When all was said and done, his school friends were gone and the area of the park was cleaned once again, Liv felt as exhausted as the four little ones looked.

"Ugh! The girls are going to fall asleep for the forty-minute car ride, wake as soon as we get home and be cranky for the rest of the afternoon" complained Maureen as Kathleen agreed wholeheartedly.

"Umm" Liv wasn't sure if this was the right move, but she loved all the blondes standing before her. "I live four blocks away and I could use some help getting all of Noah's presents back to our apartment. We can clean these sweaty, sticky messes and they can crash there for a bit. They could all use a nap, including me!"

"Really?" asked Kat. "I mean, I know you told Dad that you didn't want him to be part of your life and I assumed…"

"That's not what I said Kathleen" Liv interrupted. She didn't want any assumptions, nor did she want her words and feelings towards Elliot to be misinterpreted. "Look, come back with me and we can talk. Okay?"

"Momma! You said you and Ewiot couldn't be togever at my birfday, but he's not here and Sabwina, Charwie, and Nafan are! They can see all my presents and play wif my toys!" The decision seemed to be made and with arms and strollers full of packages and wriggling children, the three ladies walked back to Liv's apartment.

A half-hour later, all four children were knocked out and huddled together on Olivia's bed. It was a bit of a battle to get them upstairs and cleaned knowing there were presents to be opened and played with, but Liv was always firm and fair so she and the Stabler girls had some time to relax. When she returned to the living room, Maureen was just opening the door to her younger sister, who ran down the block and came back with three of the largest iced coffees they had. Olivia grabbed hers immediately. "You always were my favorite!"

"Hey!" yelled a chagrined Maureen as all three ladies burst into laughter and settled in for a quiet hour or so after a crazy morning.

Never one to mince words, considering she had no filter, Kathleen addressed the elephant in the room. "So you said you didn't tell Dad you didn't want him to be part of your life?"

Liv took a good long drink from her cup. "We were partners for fourteen years; he's always been a part of my life. Even after he left, he's all I thought about for almost a year. Afterwards, something would always remind me of him. Then there came a time when he was all I wanted. Just for him to come back, to be here. When I got Noah, I thought, God Elliot would be so happy for me. But they were all fantasies Kathleen. I knew he was never the part of my life that I wanted him to be; that I thought I needed him to be. He had you guys, your mom, other responsibilities and issues. Of course I didn't know the details but still, he wasn't here and I wasn't with him." She took a minute to collect her thoughts.

"Where I'm concerned, your father has always based his decisions and actions on what he wants or some obligation or another. He left the force because it's what he needed. He cut me out of his life because it's what he needed. After your mom and everything in his life was settled again, he still didn't come back to me. I asked him directly that if the captain hadn't passed, would he have come back and he couldn't give me an answer! But now that he's here, I'm supposed to give up everything that I have built here because he doesn't want to stay in New York. My world no longer revolves around Elliot Stabler. That may sound harsh, but it's the truth."

"Liv, you know what he's been through. You know how he is. His life was in shambles for a long time. I understand you've been through a lot too but, what is this a lesson? Payback?" Maureen wasn't allowed to continue.

"If that's what you think then you really never knew me at all." Olivia was really letting loose. How could Elliot's girls think that about her? "We've all had our shit to deal with Maureen! You were 27 when he quit, living your own life, making your own choices yet when was the last time I've heard from you? Kathleen? After everything? I didn't just lose my absolute best friend, I lost a family that I love as my own like that" she emphasized by snapping her fingers. "That choice was not mine, like everything and everyone else, the choice was taken away from me. Now since he was always trying to teach me things, I'm taking a page out of Elliot's book. Whatever happens is MY choice. I've built myself back up from nothing and I have too much to lose. I will not allow him to decide my life for me because he's finally ready."

There was silence for quite a while between the three women before Kathleen spoke. "So what happens now? Are we supposed to just pretend like we didn't reconnect? The kids were practically inseparable today, how do we explain that?" She seemed irritated but Olivia was not going to be the bad guy in this scenario.

"Well that's your choice Kathleen. I would never shut you out, despite whatever happens between me and your father. If you want to continue getting the kids together, or if you ever want to just call and talk, I am here; always was. Nathan and the girls are always welcome, as are you both. But if you decide that I am not being fair to your father or whatever, then that's your choice to make as well. Noah will be in kindergarten soon and his life will be filled with new friends and new experiences so he will adjust. As for me, I've done it before and I will do it again only this time, I will be prepared."

Again there was silence before, "Pwesents!" When Olivia turned around, out came Noah with the other three on his heels.

"Oh my sweet boy! You haven't had anywhere near a long enough nap! But...of course we can open gifts." She buried her nose in his hair and held him tight as she spoke, but as soon as she consented to open gifts, a chorus of "Yays!" sounded and all four kids were running towards the pile. The Stabler girls stayed seated while Olivia helped Noah sort and rip, Elliot's grandkids right in the mix, climbing over her and each other.

When every box was ripped open and new toys were strewn all over the living room, the kids settled down to play and Olivia watched in awe. Being an older parent of an only child, never mind the fact that Lucy spent more time with her son than she did, made her appreciate moments like this. There was absolutely no way she was going to pack it all up, even for Elliot. She was so absorbed in her thoughts that she didn't realize Maureen was asking her a question as Kathleen was trying to disentangle wrapping paper remnants from under her leg, that is until she started snapping her fingers in front of her face.

"Hey, we're trying to help clean the mess that our little darlings helped make because we gotta get ready to go." Olivia blinked and lifted her leg before getting up completely. When she did, she realized her living room no longer looked like Christmas exploded.

"Thanks girls. As I said, you don't have to go." She would love to keep them in her life, especially have the kids be like family to Noah, but she would respect their decision to stick by their father.

"Yes we do" interjected the eldest blonde. "Jack is on twin duty tonight and I don't want him to miss a moment, especially considering what kind of day they've had! Dinner and bath time should be fun but watching him try to settle them into bed will be priceless. Hurry up Kat!"

Olivia had to laugh at that. She went into her bedroom to gather the kids' things so the girls could be on their way. She didn't know if this would be the last time she would see them or not, so she acted as if it was, for closure, just in case. She bent down to Sabrina and Charlie. "I'm so glad you were in the park today and were able to share Noah's birthday with him! I hope you had fun." She was answered with a litany of the day's highlights and promises of their next playdate. The girls then both wrapped their arms around Olivia and jumped into her lap to say goodbye. Little Nathan was next as he reluctantly surrendered Noah's new model airplane.

"Thanks for everything today Olivia" said Mureen as she leaned in for a hug.

"Yeah" interjected Kathleen. "You uhh, we have some soul searching to do." She took her turn hugging the brunette and quickly grabbed her son before he had a chance to re-engage in play. "Take care Liv. Bye Noah!"

-SVU-

Elliot had just come back from a workout when Maureen passed the girls off to Jack for his "daddy time". Of course, they were still overexcited and overtired.

"Daddy look! We got goody bags!" exclaimed Charlie.

"We went to Noah's party!" continued Sabrina but Elliot didn't hear anything else as his head whipped around to face his eldest child.

"Relax Dad, I didn't go behind your back or keep it a big secret. It was a coincidence. Kat and I were meeting in the park as usual, which you knew, and Liv just happened to be having Noah's party there. You know she wouldn't kick the kids out."

Elliot had to agree, Olivia never would have asked the kids to leave the party. He could just see his grandkids making themselves comfortable as if the day was planned for weeks. As he contemplated the information, Maureen scrolled through her phone.

"Here. I know you want to see. But that's all you get, dad. I won't be grilled for information. Scroll all you want; I'm going to take a bubble bath." With that, she gave her father her phone and headed upstairs.

Elliot scrolled through the afternoon photos. The kids seemed glued at the hips; so comfortable with each other. Like family. It made him smile. When he came to the photos of the cake, he froze. Liv looked amazing! She seemed relaxed and beaming with love as she held onto Noah's hands. One of the pictures showed Olivia embracing all four children with a smile that spread straight to her eyes, lighting them up. He couldn't stop staring at it; he even sent it to his phone along with a few others. He had a fight ahead of him; he needed to get to work.

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