Okay so I recently finished the Goblet of Fire movie and admittedly I haven't read the fourth book in awhile so if some facts are a bit tweaked, that's why but hopefully it's not too different from the book's end. But…this is much darker than the original series. A fourteen-year-old taken to a graveyard, trapped and tortured, watching a friend die is very traumatic.

The fact that Harry wasn't shown to have too much PTSD confused me because he went through hell at such a young age. This story will be a Harry/Hermione but Ron will not be bashed – I love Ron no matter how much of a git he can be sometimes. This is written for fan-freak121's This Vs That Challenge where the task was to write either a Harry/Hermione or a Harry/Cho. I chose Harry/Hermione. It is also written for the 100 Ways to Say I Love You Challenge Prompt #18 as it seems to fit this best. Thank you and enough of my rambling – I do hope you enjoy this story!

1. Thin Ray of Light

Harry Potter had felt fear in many stages of life but not as much as this. This had to be one of the worst moments in his life; facing the Triwizard Tournament through all it's dangerous tasks to end up in a graveyard. Of course he had always known that Voldemort had wanted to kill him, but being so close to death was something he had experienced for the first time. The Chamber had been scary but it was nothing compared to this. Trapped against the statue of Voldemort's father, Pettigrew had used his blood to resurrect Voldemort.

It was disgusting. His father's best friend had almost gotten him killed, had trapped just so he could resurrect the man that had killed Harry's parents, that had destroyed his precious friends. The man that he had gotten Remus and Sirius to show mercy and not kill had been the reason he had suffered so much right now. The moment Voldemort had said 'Kill the spare' made him want to scream, to cry out, to protest. This was all his fault. Cedric had been killed because he was the one who had suggested that they take the Portkey together. He had killed Cedric – if he had only listened and not tried to be noble by letting them both take the Cup then this would have never happened.

Tears had filled his eyes but he forced them back because he refused to let Voldemort see such weakness. He felt as if he were stranded alone with no help. He wished for Ron and Hermione to be here, because he didn't know if he was going to make it out of this alive. He wanted to tell Ron he had forgiven him and how much he appreciated him. He wanted to thank Hermione for always being there. He longed to see Sirius one more time to apologise for being the reason for not clearing his name. Cedric was dead and it wasn't long before he would go the same way. After all, what chance did a fourteen-year-old have against a fully grown dark wizard?

I'm sorry Ron. I'm sorry Hermione. Sorry Sirius. I didn't know. I didn't know it was a Portkey and I'm sorry I might never get the chance to say goodbye to you. Hermione, I wish I was as bright as you so I could find a way out of this. Ron, can you tell me a funny joke one last time? Who am I kidding? Of course you can't. Neither of you are here, I won't ever be able to see you two argue again. Tell your Mum I'm sorry Ron. Tell her I can't do this anymore.

When Voldemort began talking to him, Harry struggled to escape and break free. He knew it was useless but fear was making him continue to try to fight. He hated how helpless he was. How could Wormtail do this to him? Wormtail owed him his life but right now he might be the reason for his death. He wanted to scream at Voldemort when he talked about his mother's protection but fear had silenced him, rendering him unable to speak. However, screams did leave him when Voldemort touched his scar. An agonizing pain left him, one he had never felt before and he longed to be anywhere but here right now. He wanted to be with his friends. He wanted Dumbledore to get him out of here and protect him for once, he wanted Hermione's gentle reassurance, Ron to crack a joke, but more than any of that he just wanted the pain to end.

Then Voldemort removed his hand and the pain ebbed momentarily but the worst wasn't over. As Harry was released, his heart began to race even faster. He had never been in a real duel and he wanted to run but knew that would tell Voldemort he was scared which was the truth. Initially he did run but then Voldemort taunted him again. A shiver ran down his spine at Voldemort's words. He was going to die, he knew it but a sudden anger surged through him. He wasn't scared of death but he was scared of the torture Voldemort would put on him before killing him because of how long he had waited for this moment. Pushing down his fear, he decided he didn't want Voldemort to feel the satisfaction and would go down fighting till his last breath.

'Crucio!' Voldemort shot a spell and Harry had no time to fight back as the curse hit him full force. Now his eyes did water but he shut them so the other wouldn't see even as if he screamed his heart out. It felt as if someone was ripping flesh in the most painful way possible. He had to do something, he had to fight somehow, do something. He wanted to get back to Ron and Hermione, to Hogwarts. Once he had stopped, Harry shakily got to his feet. As Voldemort shot the curse, this time he was ready for it Mustering up all his strength, he got to his feet and fought back as much as he could. His wand connected with Voldemort's and he felt himself losing strength. He would have lost control of the wand if Cedric, James and Lily Potter's spirits hadn't come out of his wand. They were buying him time to let go and return to Hogwarts but he was scared – what if the Killing Curse hit him? This fight would have been for nothing if he ended up dying at the end of it.

"Do it sweetheart," Lily Potter encouraged and Harry looked into his mother's soft eyes which were as reassuring as Hermione normally was. Thinking this, he let go and rushed to Cedric's body. "Accio Portkey!" He returned back to the grounds, clutching Cedric's body to him tightly.

"Harry!" He could hear Ron and Hermione's cries but overwhelmed by everything that happened, he simply began sobbing.

"HE'S BACK!" Harry sobbed out. "VOLDEMORT'S BACK!" He clutched Cedric's body not letting go even as Dumbledore attempted to pull him away. "No!" He didn't want to let go, he didn't think he could right now. "Cedric asked me to bring his body back. I couldn't leave him – not over there." Tears fell faster than ever as Ron and Hermione pushed through the crowd to rush over to him.

"Harry!" Hermione called out. "Are you alright?"

Harry couldn't reply to them not as Moody pulled him away but he could see the concern on their faces. He should go them and resist Moody pulling him away but he was in no mood to resist anyway considering the tears would not stop falling. He had never before felt so shaken on what had happened as he did now. He had thought the Chamber of Secrets was the scariest experience yet but because he was too weak, Voldemort was at full power. If he had let Sirius and Remus kill Pettigrew then this would have never happened the way it did. He was a coward.

He slowly nodded albeit weakly when Moody asked him if he was alright or not. He wasn't alright, not by far but he wasn't sure his DADA teacher would understand this to be a fact. His heart was still racing and he wasn't happy about the fact that he had been taken away from Cedric's body. It was all his fault. He was distracted though by Moody asking the strangest questions and tried to reply but couldn't seem to do so. It seemed as if he was more interested in knowing what it was like being in Voldemort's presence than on whether he was alright or not.

"Professor Moody…" Harry began, wanting to say he didn't want to talk about it, wanting to say he didn't have the courage to face such a thing after what he had been through but the other kept talking. It was when he mentioned about others in the graveyard was something that sent his alarm bells ringing. "I don't recall telling you about a graveyard, sir." His eyes grew wide in horror as Moody began to reveal his true self. No way…an Auror had put his name into the Goblet…it couldn't be. Why? Dumbledore had always said that Alastor Moody was one of the most trustworthy Aurors there were. He shifted back in fright as Moody raised his wand but the door opened and he was disarmed before he could do much as Dumbledore, Snape and Mcgonagall came through.

Moody was discovered to really be Barty Crouch Jr. (a death eater) and he was taunting them about Voldemort returning. Tears fell from Harry's cheek as he remembered the helplessness he had felt back then.

"I'm sorry sir," Harry sobbed. "I couldn't do anything." Mcgonagall patted him on the shoulder sympathetically although Dumbledore looked grave as she ushered him out to go see Ron and Hermione. He didn't have the strength to argue so he did so meeting them at the bottom of the stairs.

"I'm sorry," Harry said to both of them, voice still shaking. "It's my fault he's back, Pettigrew trapped me…it's my fault, Ron, Hermione. If I had let Pettigrew die last year then this wouldn't have happened…I'm pathetic."

Ron snarled a bit at the mention of Pettigrew but placed a hand on Harry's shoulder. "Harry, mate this isn't your fault."

Hermione nodded in agreement, pressing a bottle of Butterbeer into Harry's hand and gently guiding him to sit down on the staircase. She twisted open the bottle and gave it to Harry. "Here, drink this, you'll feel better."

Harry took her advice and drank it, sitting down, placing the bottle to the side and putting his head in his hands. "It's my fault, Ron, Hermione. It's my fault he's back. I'm pathetic. I'm so pathetic." He knew it was his fault. He had saved Pettigrew from Remus and Sirius, he had suggested to Cedric to take the cup together, he was a failure, he was nothing but a pathetic, filthy murderer. Was he really any better than Voldemort?

"Oh Harry," Hermione pulled Harry into a hug, leading Harry to break down once more as he buried his head in her shoulders. The tears had begun to fall once more as he recalled the whole incident. He had panicked upon seeing the name of Tom Riddle, his scar hurting when Wormtail came over there, Cedric attempting to defend them didn't work. Wormtail had killed Cedric despite him shouting over and over again, nothing worked.

"Don't kill Cedric…" Harry said weakly. "I pleaded with him, Hermione. I pleaded with Wormtail not to kill Cedric but he never listened. He trapped me, Hermione, Ron." He looked at his best friend whose eyes had widened in horror and he knew why. He thought of the shelter he had provided to Scabbers as his pet. "The Cup was a Portkey and he trapped me under a statue of Voldemort's father. I couldn't move. I could only watch as they killed Cedric in front of me. Then he took my blood with a knife…without my blood, he wouldn't have come back, Hermione. I told Cedric to take the Cup with me. I saved Pettigrew last year." His words were slowly turning into sobs again and he hated how pathetic he was being.

"I…I love you both, you know that right?" Harry said, looking at both of them before pulling back to look at Hermione slightly as well. He hadn't been able to say this earlier but now that he was here, now that he was alive, he wanted a chance to tell them how much they meant to him before he never got the chance again. He wanted to go to Snuffles and hold him once as well but knew he couldn't right now. He looked to see there were students there who had gathered and were staring at the three of them so he buried his head in Hermione's shoulder blades again. Hermione shifted her position so she was silently shielding Harry as the people broke out into questions. Harry didn't even look up. He knew they had questions but Hermione was warm and comforting and Ron was protecting them both, so right now he wanted to be the one protected for a change.