A/N: Needless to say, this final chapter came up later than I had promised. I apologize for that. But hopefully, you could survive without me for the two days I was late. :D

The silence of Lucy's pretend funerals paled in comparison to the brand that fell upon the dining room.

Whether they were stymied, petrified children or an irate housewife demanding answers, all eyes were on Lynn Sr. now as they intently awaited his next move. Unfortunately for Rita's patience, her husband seemed more interested in giving her a blank look than explaining himself.

Gritting her teeth, Rita stood up from her chair, marched towards her trembling husband, and stopped when their distance gave her shadow ample leverage to completely loom over him.

"Don't give me that look," she said. 'Fair'? Just what exactly do you think you're trying to get across to me?"

Lynn Sr.'s eyes shifted everywhere that wasn't blocked by his angry wife, but no matter where he turned, Rita made it her mission to cut him off at the pass. Every second that passed in his futility slowly but surely turned into hopelessness as it dawned on him that Rita was not about to give him an easy way out. With nothing but the truth left to give, Lynn Sr. sighed in defeat.

"I was trying to make it so you'd want to take all of us to the country fair this Friday," he said.

Rita's glare softened at the admittance, though Lynn Sr.'s fear barely ebbed an inch, which is why when Rita replied, "The country fair? That's all?", all he could do was nod.

"Now, why would you want to trick me into taking you there?" Rita asked." "What could be the harm in bringing you there? There's so much fun we could all have; going on all the rides, taking plenty of cute family photos, eating all of the…the…"

And just like that, the violent windstorm, that had petered out into a peaceful gale, whipped up in a blustering tornado. Lynn Sr. gulped, knowing full well that even with the relatively calm expression his wife wore, she was fuming on the inside. Now, it was just a matter of how much restraint Rita was using to keep herself from getting absolutely livid with him…

…and how long it would take before that restraint snapped in two like a brittle, dry twig.

"So, that's it, then." "The finality of her tone, along with the seething temper, made Lynn Sr. wince. "You were trying to make me break my commitment by having me take you all to a place that would tempt me."

She then turned to the kids, who were wise to look away before her heated gaze could melt them on the spot.

"First, my children and now, my own husband. After everything I've done to try and make this family better, this is the thanks I get! If someone's not breaking the rules behind my back, someone else is manipulating me to try and get me to go back on my word."

In a flash, she spun around and faced her husband again, who had his head hung in shame.

"And what's worse, you promised me that you were going to set an example for the kids, but all you've done is teach them that going against their mother is okay."

Every scornful word stung, but what hurt even more was how she was putting him on the spot like this—scolding him like a child.

But who was he to complain? After all, he wasn't going to do anything about it and by the way she was acting, Rita didn't sound like she was interested in giving his authority the time of day, anyway.

"I'm more hurt than ashamed of you, Lynn," Rita continued. "I never wanted things to come to this, but the rules apply for everyone, not just for the kids. From now on, the couch is your bed until further notice."

Everyone else, except a stunned Lynn Sr., gasped collectively. It was almost like a giant weight was keeping them down as no one made a move to object or give chase to an incensed Rita as she stormed out of the dining room in a huff.

Only when the sharp crack of her bedroom door slamming shut did anyone snap out of their stasis. The reactions were immediate; Lynn Sr. hiding his face in his hands, the children all running towards their father to console him. All were there and all were willing to give him the comfort that they couldn't help but believe that he deserved…

…all except for Lisa, who shuffled away from the despondent mass to crawl on the floor, steadily approaching the spot where her mother had just stood before she left.

Now, where was it? To her left? Her right? Perhaps, it was...ah! Eureka!

There, underneath the shadow of her mother's chair, was a wayward crumb. Lisa didn't know exactly what she would find by analyzing the crumb, but a mixture of scientific curiosity and a skepticism spurred her on.

She had an inkling, buried within the confines of her frontal lobe, that something was amiss, and she wouldn't rest until she found out what it was.

THREE DAYS LATER…

Lisa wasn't moved by many things, but seeing her father stretched out on the living room couch—a dinky blue blanket draped over him as his limbs bent at awkward angles—nearly made her feel a twinge of sympathy.

But now wasn't the time for emotions. Action was the key to her present motives, which is why she made it her mission to wake up a few minutes before everyone else to speak with him in confidence. This was a delicate matter, and she couldn't allow her discovery to be compromised with too many witnesses…at least, not now.

"Father?"

Lynn Sr. merely mumbled drowsily, then groaned as he turned over and caused his elbow to compress under his body weight as it smushed into the cushion underneath him.

Lisa sighed and shook him a little, getting another groan for her efforts.

"Father, I require an audience with you posthaste."

"'Kaaaaay."

The genius waited as her father unfolded himself, his visage one of misery and pain as he did. He could only offer Lisa an expression that could only be described as hollow, utterly lacking any of the early morning enthusiasm that everyone knew him for.

"Man, three nights on that couch, and it still hasn't gotten any better," Lynn Sr. complained as he stood, his back creaking out a few pops that made Lisa wince. "My back hasn't felt this twisted-up since the downward dog incident."

"I'll be sure to do something to remedy your musculoskeletal dilemma at a later junction," Lisa said as she headed towards the staircase. "For now, I ask that you please come with me and meet me in my bedroom."

She was pleased when she heard him approaching; at least his legs weren't compromised from his ordeal.

Though he couldn't say that he was in high spirits, all the same, Lynn Sr. was a very intrigued man. Unless Lisa's experiments and inventions were creations that she knew would be "parent-approved", Lisa would never purposefully indulge him nor Rita in her latest schemes.

But still, what exactly was…this supposed to be? It looked like a grocery list for words that he didn't have a hope of understanding. The humble, little sheet of printer paper rested in both hands, held in place to allow Lynn Sr. to look over the words again…

And again…

And again…

And…nope. Still nothing. Lynn Sr. sighed and gave up, deciding to just have Lisa explain her list to him.

"Alright, Lisa, what am I looking at?" Lynn Sr. asked, taking a seat on the edge of her bed.

Lisa, who was sitting across from him from her stool, explained, "What're you're looking at are the results of my latest analysis. I could have procured more data after several more days, but what I've produced should be substantial enough to reach one, solitary conclusion."

"Analysis of what, exactly?" Lynn Sr. asked as he put down the list next to him.

"The ingredients and direct food and color additives that this…" Lisa took out a little plastic bag—a label titled "SUBSTANCE #312-1BR" plastered on the surface—from her pocket and held it up for her father to see. "…substance is composed of."

Immediately, Lynn Sr. found himself in awe. "You have a machine that analyzes food ingredients?"

"It's a work in progress," Lisa said, surprisingly sounding quite unimpressed with herself. "So far, it can recognize most-FDA approved additives, but it's still far from my desired final outcome. Regardless, it aided me in my research greatly, even if its proficiency has only amounted to decent headway in a span of three days."

She put the bag on her workbench, then face her father again.

"Anyway, on the day you were banished to the couch, as mother was storming out of the dining room, I couldn't help but spot this morsel falling off her person. Upon examining it up close, a few preliminary inspections gave me reason to believe that it was edible."

It took him a little while to process exactly what Lisa was getting at, but Lynn Sr. reached the conclusion that he presumed that Lisa was suggesting.

"So…you're saying that the crumb came from something that Rita ate?"

"That would be the best interpretation of those initial observations, yes," Lisa said. "Afterwards, I scrutinized the fingerprints on the crumb, which revealed the unique sequence of minisatellites had 99.9% compatibility with those of mother's."

"And what does the analysis say the food was?" Lynn Sr. asked.

"The ingredients and additives I highlighted, specifically the corn syrup, alkali-processed cocoa, polysorbate 60, soy lecithin, and sorbic acid, highly suggest that the food could only come from one specific line of delicacies."

Lynn Sr. watched intently as Lisa hopped off her stool, strolled to her desk, picked up another sheet of paper (Lynn Sr. hoped that he wasn't about to be put on the spot with more terms he didn't have a prayer in knowing), and held it up.

His entire face blanched as the image, in all is high resolution glory, flashed before his eyes.

"Mistress' Chocolate Bobo's," Lisa said. "Original, peanut butter-filled, raspberry filling; the point is, it's very likely that whatever the variation, a crumb of Mistress' Chocolate Bobo's is what I've analyzed."

As if it could be possible, Lynn Sr. paled even further; seeing it was one thing but hearing the idea, the notion that Rita would…would…

No way.

"You're telling me that Rita…t-that Rita could be…"

Words, or rather the steel to finish his sentence, failed him, leaving Lisa to complete the task for him.

"Correct," Lisa said, crumpling up the paper and throwing it over her head. "It appears as though mother is both hoarding and consuming snack food in discretion."

In Lynn Sr., the only thoughts that were possible with him were that this was all some kind of mistake. After all, it wouldn't be the first time Lisa ever made a mistake. Fingerprints? Sure, maybe those could be a little telling, but what was more telling; some test or Rita's dedication? He wasn't one to question cold hard facts, but the will of his wife was far more reliable than a few days of lab work.

Wasn't it?

Lynn Sr. shook his head. "That's impossible. Rita would never…she'd never do that, not after everything she'd done. She wouldn't just-"

"Father, I'm afraid that the data doesn't lie."

In that second, the illusion of his shaky delusions dispersed like a thin cloud of smoke. Lisa's bluntness didn't allow much wiggle room, and her research made the already cramped space feel even tighter.

Dead end. Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. And now, if thinking about his wife, the angry tyrant, was difficult to do in reverence, then doing so for Rita, the traitorous hypocrite, made it impossible.

For the first time in days, Lynn Sr. was no longer angry at just himself, and he knew just the person to share his newfound feelings with.

Lynn Sr. made a move to get off the bed and give Rita a piece of his mind, but Lisa was quick to the punch as she ran up to him and held up a hand for him to halt.

"Wait," Lisa said, "We need something more substantial than this. A suggestion, no matter how incriminating, is only a suggestion. We'll need more than that to prove anything, one way or the other."

Lynn Sr., still incensed, allowed for Lisa's interesting proposal to take place as he sat back down without a word. Lisa took a minute to walk over to Lily's crib, pull something out (thankfully, without waking the baby up), and presenting it to her father once she returned to where she previously stood.

"That's why I've constructed this," Lisa explained, holding a lavender pacifier in one hand. "This harmless-looking pacifier has a small camera built in its base. With it being her day off, mother will be staying behind to look after Lily. With her guard down, we should be able to monitor her activity without the fear of being misled by any posturing."

Lynn Sr. didn't even have to think twice about his answer. He wanted to believe that he could always trust his wife, to give her the benefit of the doubt, but that benefit was something that he knew that she didn't deserve to have right now; not when her credibility and maternal instincts were both in a very questionable state.

"Alright," Lynn Sr. said, his face hardened with determination. "We'll do it."

"Excellent," Lisa replied as she adjusted her eyeglasses. "After I've come back from school to study the footage, I'll notify both you and my siblings of what I've discovered. In the meantime, I'll let them know of my findings after they've woken up."

That much was settled, and Lynn Sr. couldn't find any reason to complain, but the hardest task was just up ahead; pretending that he could see and talk to Rita in any sort of genuine reverence for the rest of the day.

Every emasculating, demoralizing, and humiliating moment came bursting into his mind's eyes, a highlight reel of deceit that was worth it to not only put him on the spot but have the children be miserable.

Lynn Sr. grit his teeth and took measured steps as he exited Lisa and Lily's bedroom, taking care not to pronounce his hurt and anger to the world; there'd be a time and place for that should it be required.

LATER THAT AFTERNOON…

Eleven pairs of eyes watched the scene before, the owners of said eyes in a state of disbelief. From what Lisa had promised both her father and her other siblings, it would only be a matter of time before they discovered if their mother was truly eating junk food behind their backs, thanks to the pacifier camera—whose footage was now playing on Lisa's computer while the children and their father looked at it closely. The only one who wasn't with them was Lily, who was taking a nap in the living room.

Although they were all eager to see if Rita was truly eating junk food behind their back, none of them even considered believing that notion. After all, who else but Rita would respect the authority of "Rita's Rules" the most?

Apparently, not even Rita cared to do such a thing as the surveillance footage, which was now showcasing her activity from Lily's perspective from around two hours ago, showed off exactly what she was up to while they were away. From what they could gather, Lily was in Rita's lap while her mother sat on her bed, grabbing intently at the snack cakes and potato chips that Rita was surrounded with as she shoveled handful after handful of snack food into her mouth.

"Oh, you want one, Lily?" Video-Rita teased as Lily made a swipe for the corn chip that she was about to, no doubt, stuff her face with. "Sorry, but this is grown-up food. Maybe when you start teething, then we'll talk."

What followed was the crunch of said corn chip as it was raised above the camera's lens, a dead giveaway that Rita had shamelessly eaten it.

At that point, Lisa had had enough. Closing out the video with a look of utter contempt, she turned around in her chair to find, to no surprise, that her siblings looked just as disgusted as she was. The only one who didn't look like he was about to blow his top off was Lynn Sr., who was too shell-shocked to do anything but stare at the now-blank screen with his mouth agape.

"Are you kidding me?!" Luan shouted.

Her cry of disbelief rallied the others to join in the fray.

"How could she?!" Luna cried.

"This is literally the worst thing Mom has ever done, and she made me drink a lentil shake because of my 'lack of iron'!" Lori exclaimed.

"Well, I know what we should do about this!" Lincoln said.

"Does it involve telling Mom off?!" Lynn asked.

"You bet it does!" he replied.

In the blink of an eye, the Loud children formed a mob, spurred on by the desire to relay their frustration and hurt towards their mother. They were quick to rush to the door to make a hasty, anger-fueled exit—

"Hold on, kids."

They all halted in their tracks, turned on their heels, and looked back at Lynn Sr. Though it was clear to them that he was both disappointed and shaken-up from what he had seen, they all interpreted his request in the worst way.

"Dad! You can't be serious! You're still gonna defend Mom, even after everything that she's done?!" Leni cried.

Lynn Sr. shook his head. "No. You're right, Rita needs a serious talking to, but it should be me that does it. Both your mother and I have been giving you children grief these past few days. I shouldn't have even needed that footage to step in before now."

His statement was effective enough to tame the burning fury that kindled in their hearts, but the admittance of his failure inspired them to listen intently to their father's next words.

"I'm sorry I haven't been the respectable father figure that I should've been," he continued as he had his head bowed in shame. "All eleven of you deserve my best, and you're going to be getting it from here on out. I can't ask for your respect back, but, even if I can't get it, I'm going to make things right with her—for everyone's sake. Besides, there are some things that I need to get off my chest that don't exactly involve any of you."

He looked back up and cast them all a stern look, along with a stern tone. "And besides, whether Rita does wrong or not, she's still your mother. I won't approve of any one of you 'telling her off'. Understood?"

By now, none of the ten were half as furious as they were before. While it was true that they were still indignant with their mother's hypocrisy, they were not only happy to see their father take charge but also a little ashamed of themselves for taking such an extreme measure as to angrily berate their own mother.

"We got it, Dad," Lincoln said. "We promise that we won't get in the way."

Lori spoke up next, her hands clasped in front of her as she looked down at the carpet. "And hey, listen, I'm sorry about implying that you were useless the other day. That was way out of line."

Lynn Sr. walked straight to her and titled her head up by the chin with one hand until she was looking directly into his eyes—which, to her relief, showed no malice towards her at all.

"It's fine, Lori," Lynn Sr. said. "I was useless, but I promise that I won't be any longer."

He broke away to look around at the others, a grin sporting his once-somber face. "After this is all over, we'll all celebrate with pizza, five of them in fact. How's that sound?"

Immediately, the forlorn was sucked out of the room like a vacuum as giddy, overlapping requests filled Lynn Sr.'s ears.

"Can one of 'em have triple pepperoni?!" Lana said.

"I want one with pineapple!" Leni said.

"Have one of 'em have extra cheese, if you'd please!" Lola said.

"Can you order one with a lot of tofu?!" Luan said.

The excitable cheering came to a stop as everyone, including an equally as perplexed Lynn Sr., gazed at Luan's bright, smiling face…

…which turned even brighter as she flashed a bigger grin and chuckled. "Just kidding."

Standing in front of his bedroom door, Lynn Sr. couldn't but recall what had happened a few days ago, right after coming back from work. It all made sense now, Rita's nervousness and apprehension of opening the door right away because of "indecency". She was probably munching down on her sinful snacks and wanted to hide the evidence before he came in.

And he fell right into it. She played him for the fool and without Lisa, without one of his children having to step in and unravel this heinous discovery, he'd continue to be the fool that she needed.

Lynn Sr. expelled a deep breath, wanting to let out as much aggression as he could out of his body before he addressed his wife. Screaming and yelling would make her take notice, but he wanted a chance of rebuilding their relationship back to where it once was, and he didn't like the idea of harsh words making that journey difficult.

Once he felt that he was calm enough to move forward, he rapped his fist against the door, doing so with a little more force than he usually did.

This time, Rita didn't even need to have him wait before opening the door. Despite the awkward tension they had been between them as of late, she still seemed in a good enough mood to smile at him. Lynn Sr. couldn't tell if she was putting on an act to save face or not. Given what he had recently found out, he was willing to bet on the former.

"Hey, honey," Rita chirped.

Lynn Sr. frown grew wider and he folded his arms. "Hello, Rita."

The lack of an endearing term for greeting, along with the obvious signs of his annoyance, forced a weary, almost saddened expression on Rita's face.

"Look, I know you're upset about the whole 'couch thing'," she said, "but you'll only have to put up with it for a few more days. I'm sorry, but I had to put my foot down. You know that we both have to be strong for our children."

"Oh, don't worry about that," Lynn Sr. said.

The grin on Rita's face formed once again. "Well, I'm glad to see that you-"

"Because with the way things are, I'm far too angry with you to think about that right now."

Once again, Rita found herself realizing that for reasons she couldn't understand, her husband wasn't very pleased with her. On Lynn Sr.'s end, he thought of his wife's puzzled, perturbed look almost revolting; she was still going to act as if everything was fine?

"What?" Rita asked, her tone clipped by a spark of fear.

Lynn Sr.'s face hardened. "You heard me."

Rita backed up a few steps, almost as if she couldn't stand directly in front of her husband's ire-filled eyes.

"Lynn, what is t-this all about? W-what's the matter with you?" she stammered.

Lynn Sr. covered the distance that she had created, which allowed him to slip into their room and shut the door behind him—all without breaking away from Rita. "So that's it, then."

Along with her slight apprehension came confusion, which manifested on Rita's face in the form of furrowed brows. "What do you mean 'that's it'?"

Lynn Sr. grit his teeth and balled his fists at his side, gestures that made Rita's eyes grow wide. Deep down, he was a little ashamed of making his wife somewhat afraid of him, but he felt that he had to let her know that what he felt was feigned ignorance was not okay.

"You're just going to pretend that everything's okay, that there's no problem?" he asked churlishly.

Rita gulped. "Look, if it's about how harsh I might be, then I'll admit, I understand that it's a tall order for you all to adjust to my rules so quickly, but I just want you to-"

"That's not what I meant."

Rita clamped up immediately and shut her eyes. Lynn Sr. took advantage of her submissiveness to press on without worrying about interruption.

"I'm giving you one chance to come clean with me," he said, planting his fists against his hips. "I want to believe that I can trust you, Rita, so I don't think I need more than one."

And there it was. It was a little underhanded, admittedly, to get her to talk with the "trust" card, but in the face of the underhandedness that Rita had employed, along with her hypocrisy, his tactics didn't make Lynn Sr.'s conscience flinch in the slightest. Despite his stiff, militant appearance, though, Lynn Sr. was trembling on the inside, much like Rita was doing outwardly.

What if tried to weasel her way out? What if she tried to make up another lie to cover her tracks? It would all prove that making appearances meant more to her than being honest when her morality was put in question. If that was the case, then Lynn Sr. didn't know what he would do about that.

But after about twenty seconds of tense silence, he no longer had to wait. Rita sighed, walked back to their bed, and sat at the edge. Her head fell in her hands and as she held them in place, Lynn Sr. could see that she still hadn't stopped trembling.

"How long have you known?" she asked.

A pang of relief came over Lynn Sr. but he buried down the urge to celebrate. This still wasn't over yet.

"About what?" he asked.

Along with her trembling came a few sniffles. She was quick to stop and wipe at her eyes, though.

"About my cheating on my diet behind your backs."

Hearing her say those words nearly stunned Lynn Sr. as much as seeing it for himself. It was almost as if even after baring witness to the incriminating footage, he still couldn't believe that Rita would do something like this.

All the same, the confession was enough to quell his suppressed anger by a huge margin, leaving an inquisitive yearning left in its place.

"That doesn't matter," Lynn Sr. said soft enough to get Rita to look up at him. "What does matter is that I want answers. I deserve that much, at least."

Rita looked like she was about to cry, but was quick to clamp down the urge to start bawling. Lynn Sr. guessed that she didn't think that she deserved to look so pitiful and vulnerable.

"It's because I'm weak," Rita said. "It's true that I threw all our old food out, and I was seriously going to keep it that way, but that night, after trying out my own meal just once, I knew that I couldn't stomach another day of it—at least not without a source of comfort. That's why I went out and bought some more junk food without you or anyone else knowing."

She pointed to the closet in the corner of the room. "I have it stashed right here," she said. "It's all in the back corner of my closet."

Lynn Sr. sidled up to her and sat about a foot away from her, wanting to give her a comfortable distance as she spilled the beans.

"So, you knew your idea couldn't work, but you tried to make it look like you were enjoying it?" Lynn Sr. pressed, his agitation making Rita wince. "Your pride was worth that much to you, to deceive us all while you got to take the easy route?"

Rita sighed. "Like I said, I'm weak. I…I know my idea was rough, but I thought I could take it—not just because it could work for me but because it could get all of you on the right track too."

She took one of her hands and ran her fingers through her hair, leaving several strands stringing out askew.

"But I couldn't even manage to do that," Rita continued. "I know it wasn't fair to all of you, especially since I wasn't committed myself, but I just wanted to feel like I could help you. Even if I couldn't help myself, I could at least sleep at night knowing that my idea could-"

"And there it is."

Rita paused and waited for Lynn Sr. to explain himself.

"'My idea', this. 'My plan', that. You've made all of this about you from the beginning, Rita," Lynn Sr. rebuked. "And the worst part is that I let you. I let you push me aside. I let you treat me like I didn't even matter. You didn't even bother telling me what this new plan of yours was; you decided that despite being your husband, I shouldn't be involved with deciding how this house should be run and how our children should be affected. I wanted for everyone to be happy, you included, but all I did was enable something that made us all miserable."

"But I…"

By the end of her husband's calm tirade, she was quick to deflect, to defend herself from the horrible notion that she would count him out so harshly. But she only allowed the words "But I…" to slip out before she was forced to arrive at one conclusion.

"Y-you're right." Without thinking, she threw herself at Lynn Sr. and hugged him tightly. "You're right. I'm so sorry. I didn't even think about letting you in on anything."

Even though he didn't return the embrace, Rita was still so grateful that he didn't push her away. All the way, her efforts to not look like a person in need of unwarranted sympathy proved futile as soon as she experienced her husband's warmth for the first time in days; tears slipped out of her tears, though she kept her sniffling as silent as possible—Lynn Sr. deserved to have every word of his go off without interruption.

"And let me tell you, Rita, your plan was doomed to fail from the start," Lynn Sr. sternly. "You can't just flip their world upside down and expect them to be happy about it. Having our family eat healthier and be more active is a wonderful goal, but it shouldn't be done at the expense of everyone's happiness. After all, what's the point of having a longer life if we're just going to live every day of it miserable? Doesn't that defeat the purpose?"

Rita shook her head, still weeping. A few errant whimpers snuck out under her breath, and the last one was quickly followed by a surprised gasp—Lynn Sr. had wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in closer.

"Look, if it makes you feel any better, I'm not angry with you anymore," Lynn Sr. said. "Disappointed, yes, but I'm not angry. And part of that has to do with the fact that I can't act like I didn't do anything wrong. But the biggest reason is that I'm glad that you don't look disgusted about listening to me. I know it's wrong for me to think it, but I was afraid that you didn't want to give me the time of day on purpose."

Rita's tears and sniffling, now spent, could respond. "I didn't exactly help you think otherwise," she said with obvious shame. "And look, I'm really sorry about 'Rita's Rules'. They should've been 'Rita and Lynn's Rules', just like they've always been. As of now, they're going out the window. In a couple of hours, I'll be going out to the store and restocking our shelves with what we should've had from the start."

She pulled away a little to look him in the eye again and added, a little smile on her face. "With a few exceptions."

Lynn Sr. raised an eyebrow up at her, which Rita couldn't help but find incredibly adorable.

"I want my children to be healthier, and I'll still strive to do it, but I'm not going to force them to go all out," she said. "I also won't force you to go crazy, either. I'm the one who needs to lose weight, so I'll be the one that makes the necessary changes for my own diet."

Lynn Sr.'s expression shifted into a naughty grin. "That's quite a pity, Rita. I was planning on ordering a few pizzas for us."

Rita returned the cheeky smile. "Weeeeeeeeell…"

"I suppose you'll be thinking of a new diet plan after you have some pizza?" Lynn Sr. finished.

Rita twiddled with her forefingers in mock contemplation. "Maaaaaaybe after four slices."

Their banter left them both in a cackling fit for a good thirty seconds, Lynn Sr. being the last to recover. A somewhat tense thought had crossed Rita's mind, forcing her to regard another problem with the seriousness it deserved.

"Do you think the kids will forgive me?" Rita asked.

Lynn Sr. mulled it over in his head and arrived at an answer that he felt was honest, albeit a bit harsh. Still, if Rita wanted his honest opinion, then that was what she was going to get.

"Hard to tell," he said, "but I'm sure they'll get around to it sooner than you think. After all, they're no longer angry with me. However, if you were to consider a family trip to the county fair, they might forgive you a lot faster."

Rita's face lit up. "I was planning on doing that, anyway, but that sounds like a great idea."

A great idea for certain, Rita thought, but that was a matter that could be handled in the very near future. For now, she was not only ecstatic about finding herself in her husband's good graces again, but that they were now both committed in ensuring that the best eleven things to happen to them would be healthier—physically and mentally.

TWO WEEKS LATER…

"You can do it, Rita."

She knows, she knows! That's not going to make the situation any less daunting!

It takes around a full minute for Lynn Sr., who's cozily snug in their bed, to make another teasing remark at Rita's lack of action.

"Come on. It won't bite."

Again, she knows!

Rita sighed, knowing that she didn't really have a choice. Two weeks ago, she made another full-fledged commitment to losing weight…without taking shortcuts. Through encouragement and support from her family, Rita was proud to say that she hadn't slipped up once.

But all of that pride, all of that work, would mean nothing if it didn't pay dividends? What if she hadn't lost a single pound after all this time? What if she was even heavier than before? After all, she had pigged out on a lot of junk food half a month ago. Surely, that would catch up to her in some way and…and…

And where was her faith in the people who had not only forgiven her but had gone out of their way to keep her in check for the past fourteen days? Who was she to act as if they didn't make an impact worth evaluating?

Rita squared her shoulders, the beginnings of a fiery resolve kindling from within. She wasn't just going to step on the scale, she'd show it that she was its boss.

The necessary steps were taken, and Rita shut her eyes, waiting for the announcement that she now knew would spell the beginning of a brighter, healthier future.

"148 pounds."

Even though it wasn't that much of a grin, it still manifested on Rita's face, all the same.

"Well, it's three pounds off from what I want to be at the most, but at least it's a start," she said.

Slipping the scale underneath the bed, she was quick to join her husband in bed, snuggling up close to allow her head to rest against his chest. Though she kept it to herself, she was rather amused with how hard and fast she could feel his heart beating.

"I can't believe that I didn't have you included with my diet plan from the start," Rita said. "I was right to marry a man that can make beets and radishes taste like heaven when they're cooked in one of your special soups."

Lynn Sr. chuckled while one of his arms draped over his wife and the other was used to turn off the lamp on their nightstand. "Well, I try not to brag."

That remark got him a light little bop on the nose, which he playfully feigned annoyance at in a way that made Rita smile from ear-to-ear. She was thankful that their relationship had gotten back into its usual routine, away from the demeaning and coercing and a general lack of respect.

This was who they were, a loving wife and a loving husband who both wanted the best for themselves and for their children.

"Rita?"

Her eyes looked up and she instantly cherished the decision; there wasn't anything else quite like a loving smile from her somewhat dorky goofball of a husband.

"No matter how much you weigh, you know I love you, right?" he asked.

Her reply was nearly instantaneous and even more so genuine. "Of course, and despite everything that's happened, I want you to know that I love you too."

With that, no more words were needed between them. All that was left to do was lie in bed in silence, relishing in their mended union and the gentleness that their embrace inspired.

Before drifting off to sleep, the final thing that was left to stir in her mind's eye was how blown away her husband would be once he saw the new cowgirl costume she had ordered yesterday. After all, what was a sheriff without his partner?

A/N: You know, now that I think about it, seeing as how it's October the 2nd, I suppose you could call this a birthday gift for Chris Savino. So, uh…yeah. Happy Birthday, Mr. Savino! If you're reading this, Cowgirl!Rita is a must for Season 3!

Anyway, I hope you found this conclusion most satisfying. Again, sorry about being a tad bit late with this. But, as they say, but late than never. ;)