A/N:
I will be posting this story on my "Love and Sorrow" angst collection and a seperate story. If you would like to check out my other angst Captain Swan stories, look for my story "Love and Sorrow". Anyways, I might make this into a two-shot (where the next chapter will be a continuation of the story with a happy ending) if I reach 5-10 reviews. So please remember to review this story after you have read it! On to the story.
Disclaimer: I do not own Once Upon a Time or any of the characters in it.
Lost Love
"So when I win your heart, Emma. And I will win it.
It will not be because of any trickery. It will be because
you want me."
They were a happy family, and he knew it. They didn't have to even try to show it, they already did. They could be walking down the streets with Neal on the left, Emma on the right, and Henry in the middle, holding hands together. Or the pair would drop Henry to school together and share a kiss before they departed for work.
Hook had given Neal a chance with Emma, and Neal was using it quite well. But that didn't mean that Hook would give up on her. He had given them some space for now, for the sake of the boy and Emma.
So when he saw them living his dream, he just stood there. He did nothing. Because he knew that Emma would come back for him, and their two hearts will collide.
It was their one year anniversary, and Hook saw them walk into a fancy restaurant together looking radiant. It had put more holes in his heart, knowing that they had become closer, and Hook had not expected it.
But he pushed all the heartache aside, despite the fact that the girl of his dreams was with another man. He told himself, Patience. Your love for her is strong. She will return the feelings for you someday.
And again he did nothing. He walked away, knowing that there was still hope. Hope that she will want him, someday.
000
It was Henry's birthday and Emma had invited all of her close friends and family to celebrate over Granny's. Emma and Hook had grew closer, just as Hook had wanted. It filled him with more hope.
He got Henry a piece from his land, one of his treasures from his time in the Enchanted Forest. Hook knew that Henry loved knowing the magic of the past, and would be fascinated when he would get a piece of it.
And as Hook had predicted, the overjoyed look on Henry's face showed that he loved it. Of course, he was confused on what it was at first, but after much explaining he finally got it. Emma mouthed a thank you him right after.
When it was time to sing "Happy Birthday", we watched Neal and Emma gather around Henry and the cake. They both looked down lovingly at their son as Henry happily blew out his candles on the cake.
There, Hook felt a pang of jealousy. Not because he was being selfish and wanted Emma for himself, but because he realized wanted a family.
He wanted a loving wife and a daughter or son to watch over. Hook was very close to Henry and thought of him as his son. That should be me, he thought to himself as he watched the happy family. But deep down he knew that he was just a vile pirate because of his previous evil doings, and no good deeds could redeem him. And because of that, he knew that Emma would never go for a person like that, and started to lose hope.
000
Hook still grasped on to the little faith he still had for the two of them. It was a few months later after Henry's birthday where he heard a knock on the door of his chamber late at night.
Wondering who it was, he opened it, only to find Emma standing outside with eyes red and mascara stains running down her cheeks. As if it were a reflex, Hook automatically embraced her and brought her to something to sit on.
After some time of comforting and soothing her, he let her vent all of her anger and sadness away. It was a long night, but Hook did not feel tired nor complained. He cares for her deeply and it broke his heart to see her crying.
Although she was a mess, Hook that thought she looked beautiful. No matter if she had red eyes from crying, or makeup smudged all over her face, he admired her. He had always.
She had been crying because of a fight Neal and Emma had. When Hook had heard that Neal was the one breaking her heart he went through a rush of emotions.
His first intention was to go straight to Neal and give him a piece of his mind, but quickly pushed that thought aside and reminded himself that he was trying to be a better man. It was quickly followed with the urge to tell Emma how he felt about her, instead.
But he didn't. He didn't know why, something inside had stopped him.
So it had only been a night of venting, comforting, and crying, and by morning she left and thanked him for letting her get all of her anger out even if she was a mess.
The next day Emma had let Hook know that they had made up from the fight before. He put on a smile and told her that he was glad that they figured things out. The smile didn't reach up to his eyes.
He finally knew why he couldn't tell Emma his feelings the night she came. He was scared. Scared of her not returning the feelings and being lonely forever. Because he knew Emma was the one. But did she feel the same way about him?
000
He never expected them to do this. Until the card came.
"You're invited to Emma and Neal's wedding day!"
Emma was once again standing outside his vessel, but this time to deliver an invitation.
"You're.. you're getting married?" He choked out, practically a whisper. He didn't even know they were engaged.
Emma's eyes grew sad. She and Hook had gotten closer and she knew that Hook had feelings for her. It had never changed since Neverland.
Her feelings got jumbled up ever since the night Hook had comforted her because of her fight with Neal. She saw that he was a sweet man and fell for him.
She was confused, but being Emma, she blocked all of her feelings for Hook away. Emma told herself that she loved Neal, and he was Henry's biological father, and if they really made it work then they would be a perfect happy family.
So when she saw Hook clearly breaking inside her jumbled feelings turned into a tight knot. She didn't know what to do. And once again, she tried so hard to push all of what she felt for him.
Emma took a deep breath and put on her practiced smile, "Yeah. Amazing, right?"
Hook looked down. It was it. He had fully lost her. "Yeah." He breathed out. "Amazing."
"Um, I'll hope to see you there." She whispered. "Bye." And she turned to walk off the deck.
"Wait! No, it's not amazing." Hook said in a still voice. Emma's eyes closed shut, knowing what was going to come out of his mouth next. She turned around slowly, and opened her eyes, but did not make eye contact with him.
His expression was sad and he stood there looking like a boy who had lost something important and continued,
"Not for me, anyway. I don't want you to get married, and I know that sounds terribly selfish, but I'm not saying that Neal doesn't deserve you, he does, and he is such a good man. I just have had feelings for you ever since I met you, and I knew that you could change my life, in a good way. But then I saw that you were confused and the boy needed some time with his father, so I gave Neal a chance with you. So, I waited. I've waited every single bloody day for you. Because I had hope. Hope for us. Hope that you could actually be with a guy like me. You strike me every time you move or when your scent reaches up to me like the heavens have sent an angel down that I don't deserve. But I fell for you. I'm in love with you."
They were both in tears, but it was quiet. They were both struck in silence.
"Please don't do this to me before my wedding." She whispered with eyes red. Then she walked away.
They were both far away from each other when she had said it. But Hook had heard it perfectly.
He dropped to his knees and let the silent tears fall.
Emma had started running from her walk from the deck. But she didn't want to leave, she wanted to be closer to him. She hid behind a building, getting a clear view of him and saw him on his knees just staring out into the sky as if he were somewhere else. She saw a tear. She saw another.
She didn't understand why she said that. It broke her to say it as much as it broke him. The reason couldn't be put into words.
Maybe it was because she wanted to protect her relationship with Neal. It was too complicated. She wanted to be with Neal and have a good life but at the same time she wanted to run away with Hook and be in his arms.
Her closed her eyes shut and cried until it felt like she had ran out of tears.
Two broken halves couldn't find their way back to each other.
Yes, yes, I know it's another angst story with no happy ending. But as I said before, I am considering writing a happy ending and making it a two-shot if I reach 5-10 reviews. So please, please review! Thank you for reading :)