"But you're a real faggot now, right?"

Those words he's been expecting, fearing. Something. He's not sure. All he knows is the rush of air beside him and the sound of a sickening crunch a moment later.

It's Isak. His Isak. Bowed over, hands holding his face. Even doesn't react immediately, but the others are pushing Isak back; yelling, screaming, hitting.

And it's too much. His body is working mechanically, pulling Isak away from the group, checking his injuries. But he's a million miles away. Years. He's backing away from Mikael and that disgusted look on his face that still finds their way into his nightmares. You fucking fag. Get away from me.

Even wants to get away, needs to. His skin is crawling and his boyfriend is fucking bleeding. It doesn't stop him from looking back at his past though, as the boys help him usher Isak away.

They don't look back.

It's more than a just song. It means everything. Every word of it, a testament that he's here and he's alive. He's loved. No one else really has to know what this song means for him. One day, Isak will. Just, for now, he's going to serenade that beautiful boy and it's going to end up on every snapchat story and there will be instagram posts about 'that one really fucking cute couple.' And the world won't end just because Even's feeling things most kids wouldn't ever know.

The opening chords calm him some, but he's still nervous. He's never sung a proper song for Isak before. Never one that holds so much meaning and feeling and love.

Even looks at Isak, smiling encouragement and oh so pretty. He's so goddamn lucky.

The moment that small grin splits open as he's singing does things to his heart he didn't think was possible. He falls in love with Isak everyday, and he's pretty sure he'll never stop. His voice is a little weak, and it shakes a little, but he's getting into it. Isak keeps giving him that look and he's pretty sure he'll be getting head in the bathroom after this.

Except his voice falters when he sees them.

And he can't keep singing. Physically can't. His mouth goes dry and the urge to run becomes overwhelming.

They look different. Less pale under the karaoke bar's lights than they do on youtube. Elias' arms look bigger. Adam's a little taller. They look good.

And Mikeal-

Isak joins him, and he lets that sweet, rough voice take over, before stroking his back gratefully. They don't matter. Isak does. So he turns to his boy and sings to him like he intended in the first place. Arm in arm. It's beautiful. For a moment they're the only two people in the room, voices harmonizing almost off-key. He can count the freckles on Isak's face and trace the deep bow in his lips when they're this close. His eyes hold so much love it's a little hard to look and not feel blinded.

When everyone else joins in, his heart soars. Isak's quiet giggles ring in his ears and they rock together, a warm glow settling over the room.

The applause and cheers fade behind them because Isak's pulling him outside, not caring who they knock over, and he's grateful to get out of there. Away from the boys' judgmental eyes. Isak pushes him into the wall outside and nuzzles into his face, hands finding their way to the back of his neck. He's whispering something but Even can't tell what. Isak's smile tastes like mint and love and a hint of beer. They're barely grazing lips outside when his name pulls them apart.

"Even? What the fuck?"

"Mikael." He's surprised at how even his voice sounds. He's a fucking mess, looking at that soft face that used to mean so much to him. The angry lines on his face only remind him of their last interaction and he's barely aware of Isak's hand still on his wrist. "How are you?"

Isak squeezes Even's wrist lightly and it's all he needs to feel grounded again.

The tan boy huffs, his eyes narrowing as his eyes land on Isak and their joined hands. "How am I? How about you tell me. Fucking disappear after all that shit you pulled?"

"I was-you know I'm bipo-it was, uh. Sorry." He can't look at him. Can't look at the rejection and disgust in his eyes a second time. Isak's arm curls around his waist and he can't help but curl into his side a little.

"Even, babe, you don't have to apologize for shit." He knows that tone. It's biting and he doesn't have to look to know his face is screwed up in anger.

"Shut the fuck up, you don't know what you're talking about, kid."

Maybe if the blood pumping in his ears wasn't so loud he'd have heard Isak saying his name. Or noticed Elias and the other boys rounding up behind Mikael.

"Mikael, easy." Elias' voice holds authority and for a moment Even feels like he's back in his second year. "Even, just leave. We're not looking for a fight."

"Then don't fucking talk to him like that."

Mikael's pushing Isak back in an instant, teeth bared. "What, are you his keeper now? Fucking psycho." Mikael used to sound sweeter. Nicer.

Even's barely blinking back tears, when Isak pushes him roughly behind himself, shielding him from them, shoving Mikael, hard. The others, Jonas, Magnus, and Mahdi have come out of nowhere, flanking his boyfriend.

"Control your bitch, Even. Do this like a real man." Even's never heard Elias sound so cruel.

And then those eight little words cut him open and he's standing alone with bleeding wounds that no one can see.

Even doesn't know how to look at Isak so he stares at his hands. The boys had gone home after they made sure the two of them made it back alright and now it's just the two of them sitting in their room.

"Sorry."

"Don't be." Isak's pushing himself closer and Even's arms open to pull him into his chest. "You're so good, Even. So good to me. For me. Love you so much." It's so hard for Isak to speak and Even's heart breaks because he did this. "It's not your fault, you know. I'm a shithead and those guys have no idea what they're talking about. I can't believe Sana's related to him." He's getting worked up again.

"Shh, baby. Chill." Isak looks at him so earnestly, he can't help but press a kiss into his now clean hair. "I love you so much." He thinks back to before all of this. And how it felt to sing with Isak and no matter what they say, this can't be wrong. It's not an abomination. They're good. Their love is so so good. "You're such a badass. Fighting for my honor? Shit, baby. That was hot."

Isak laughs once before squinting in pain. "You like that, huh?"

"So much. You're my favorite."

They don't talk about it just yet. Maybe tomorrow, when Isak gives him that look again. The one that expects answers. He'll give them, too. Especially after today. Just, right now, they need this. Need to hold each other and soak in love.

"You're my favorite too."