I have been writing this off and on for a long while now. I'm not sure when I'll be able to update it but whatever I wanted to post it.

It's an angsty, emotional shitfest with lots of depressive self-hate as well as dirty promiscuous smut, drug use and probably other terrible shit. My OC's has some serious fucking problems and makes really poor life choices, fyi. Actually everyone is kind of a dick in this.

Adult situations etc make this an 18and older fic.

AU fic, no zombies.

I visualize her as Jessica Jones', Krysten Ritter. Title is an ode to the song Dark Nights by Dorothy.

I don't own the Walking Dead etc

ENJOY.. maybe?

Don't send me no angel
This city's too cold
Cause I need a man with a black heart of gold
Don't give me no lover
If he ain't got the stones
Cause I need a man who will fight for his own

I've seen dark nights
Dark nights
But only the darkest light can deliver my love
I've seen dark nights
Dark nights
But only the darkest light can deliver my soul

Can't take the fire
'Til you've fallen from grace
Cause I need a man
A man who's got blood on his hands
And the truth on his face

I've seen dark nights

Dark nights
But only the darkest light can deliver my love
I've seen dark nights
Dark nights
But only the darkest light can deliver my soul

- Dorothy, Dark Nights

Lila didn't know why she did the things she did. The twenty something year old woman had always ached for things, desperately wanting and needing. She craved companionship, desired acceptance and fuck if she wouldn't settle for a person to just pretend to like her. Lila Ann was born to James and Marie Stewart, both drunken addicts who would rather indulge than feed their kid. She raised herself, floating from one foster care home to another. Lila learned early on, everyone used everybody. No one was sincere and no one was honest. The best she could hope for was someone to fuck her, consume her for a few precious moments before they buckled their pants and walked away.

Glancing around the bar she threw back another shot of Jack with a grimace, her nose wrinkling at the burn scorching down her sternum. Dark hair hung around her face, blocking out the others sitting around her. With hooded eyes she motioned for another, while the bartender chatted up two local boys at the end of the worn bartop. Picking up her phone she swallowed thickly as a text popped up.

She's gone for the weekend. Cum over ;-)

Clenching her teeth until her jaw ached, she closed her watery eyes. Lila would go over to Negan's house. She always went when he called, even when she was screaming "no" inside, she would go. The man was married and Lila couldn't stop herself. She was pathetic.

A glass filled with amber liquid was sat down in front of her and a kind sounding voice asked, "You doin' alright sweetheart?'"

Wiping her nose with the back of her hand she grunted, picking up the glass without looking up. She knew if she looked up, her eyes would finally spill over and the real her would be exposed for all to see. The monster inside her that was both incredibly strong and devastatingly weak.

Weak for attention and affection. Desperate for a few minutes where she didn't feel like such a piece of shit. A moment where she felt like maybe things could be different, maybe even better.

"Need me to call ya a cab?"

"M'fine. Now fuck off." Lila barked, her bloodshot eyes landing on the older gentleman in a fishing cap. She glared at his grandfatherly face with a look of revulsion, "Don't need some fuckin' babysitter old man."

She should be ashamed. The old her would throw up at the despicable tirade but the woman just didn't give a shit anymore. She was human garbage and it was probably better she made everyone aware of it to save them from being tainted by her.

"Hey now. Ain't no reason to yell at Ol' Golden Pond there." A man drawled from the side, his lip twitching as the bartender grumbled a few words and walked to the other side of the bar.

"What's got ya all riled up darlin'?"

Glaring at him she gulped the last of her alcohol and slapped money onto the counter. Sliding off the stool she sauntered out of the bar with clumsy feet. 'Fuck it.' She thought while texting the cheating bastard a quick message.

'Be there in 15.'

As she reached her car, she heard footsteps behind her and a voice call out, "ya shouldn' be drivin'."

"Fuck off." She muttered, her unsteady hand shoving her key into the piece of shit car.

"Jus' tryin' t'help." He drawled, leaning against door so she couldn't open it. "M'Daryl. What's your name?"

"None of your business, now move. I'm not fuckin' you." She growled, yanking on the door trying to move him but failing. He was far too large and Lila far too drunk. "Seriously? Get outta the way I got shit to do!"

"How 'bout I drive ya?"

"How 'bout ya fuck off redneck. I don't know you, you don't know me."

"Ya could know me." he rasped, his voice slightly lower as he leaned closer. "Could be fun… gettin' t'know each other."

Lila swallowed thickly and looked away from the stranger. She liked the way he was looking at her. It was familiar. The lust filled gaze, the hunger of a man looking for company. Flicking her eyes back to his, Lila contemplated if fucking a stranger was better for her than fucking Negan. At least she wouldn't be screwing a married man like some desperate slut. Of course it would still be her seeking a distraction from hating herself so much.

"Fine." she grunted, yanking on his wrist to pull him behind the bar. Daryl chuckled as she shoved him into the wall, the large man obviously letting her push him around.

"In a hurry sugar?"

"Shut up." Lila snapped before yanking his belt open and shoving her hand into his pants. "Obviously you aren't." she jeered, stroking his partially hard cock.

"Fuck off." He grunted, his hips rolling into her hand. "Barely givin' me a chance t'catch up sugar."

"I don't give a fuck. Now you gonna fuck me or do I gotta do all the fuckin' work?"

Daryl pushed her away before shoving her into the brick wall forcefully, his hands yanking at her pants.

"Fine. Ya fuckin' want it now?" he growled, shoving her pants and panties down before shoving two fingers inside her roughly. "That good? Ya lil' bitch? Huh?"

"Finally. Jesus." She gasped rolling her hips into his palm. "You gonna fuck me with that big dick or what? Enough of the fuckin' foreplay."

Kicking her pants down and shoes off, Daryl yanked her legs over his hips, pressing his chest into her, pinning her to the wall. "Fine. Ya want this dick? Huh? Gonna get it all."

Lila groaned as he slid inside with one vicious thrust. The stinging pain had her grimacing but moaning just the same. "Yes." She hissed, rolling her hips into him while his fingers bit into her pale thighs. His body pressed her into the brick tightly, her lungs unable to take in a full breathe. Spots danced before her eyes as she panted rapidly, her head pounding. Rutting into her with fast short thrusts Daryl muttered curses into the side of her sweaty neck. "Fuck. Take it girl."

"Fuck you asshole. You gonna start? Fallin' a sleep up here."

"Slut." He sneered before thrusting a deep frantic pace. He was unforgiving as he plunged fast and hard, his teeth scrapping along her neck. Biting into the tensing cord of muscle while snarling he asked, "You feel me yet sugar? Huh? Takin' it, yeah?"

"Yes." She moaned as her stomach tightened up, his dick pressing hard into her g-spot, his pelvis grinding against her clit. She was coated with sweat, the humidity of the night doubling as the man pressed her into the wall. She could feel the brick scraping across her back, the pain grounding her as she hyperventilated.

"Fuck. Fuck." She cursed, her hips arched up as he ground into her pussy with pure aggression.

"Yeah. Cum girl. Cum." He ordered, his fingers digging into the curve of her ass. "Cum now!"

Tensing as the tight coil snapped inside her, Lila moaned loudly, her nails scratching his shoulders and cutting his neck. "Yes!" she snarled, her hips rolling erratically as Daryl yanked out of her, his hand stroking until he blew along her stomach and thighs, his chest pressed her into the wall. His jagged breath chilled the sweat coating her skin. Daryl's lips slide up her neck as his tongue soothed the bite mark he left behind.

Falling away, Lila dropped unceremoniously to the ground, her knees almost giving out. Leaning against the wall as she panted, Lila wiped her sweaty bangs off her forehead before reaching for her leggings. She pulled them on and stepped into her shoes roughly. The redneck watched her while tucking himself back into his pants.

"I hurt ya?" he grunted as she stumbled slightly, her face grimacing as the skin on her back stung.

"Would it matter?" Lila slurred hoarsely. Without waiting for a reply she walked away from him and towards her car. She picked up her purse from the ground and yanked her car door open before dropping heavily into the car seat. Grimacing as she sat on tender flesh, she shoved the key into the ignition and turned the car over with a loud chug. Daryl leaned into the open driver side door, a cigarette propped in between his lips, "See ya again?"

"Fuck off already redneck. You got what you wanted." Lila muttered, shifting the car into drive. "Now move before I run you over."

Stepping back he lit his cigarette, his large rough hands cupping the flame and exhaled, "See ya later girl."

"I hope not." She hollered out the window. Peeling out of the dirt parking lot, Lila headed towards Negan's. Who the fuck was she kidding? She always came when he called.

Thanks for reading please review!